


Professionals

by DemyxDancer



Series: Professionals [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxious Disaster Friends, Developing Friendships, Era 3 Transition, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Humor, Little Homeworld, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 107,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21728824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemyxDancer/pseuds/DemyxDancer
Summary: It’s the dawn of Era 3 and Little Homeworld has recently finished construction. Peridot theoretically has everything she’s ever wanted: an awesome home, close friends, and an important job as Chief Technician.She’s having increasingly complicated feelings about Lapis and her personal projects have taken a turn towards the dangerous, but that’s fine -- she can handle it. Also, Zircon is absolutely convinced a Homeworld Gem has it out for Peridot, but she’s probably just being nervous as usual. That’s nothing a marathon of trashy TV can’t fix.Meanwhile, Lapis is dealing with complicated feelings of her own, and Bismuth just wants her friends to calm down and talk to each other.They’re all responsible, professional Gems, and everything is completely under control and not on fire.[A Future-era story starring the Crystal Gems B-Team plus one anxious disaster lawyer, as they try to keep everything they’ve built from falling apart.]Now with TVTropes page!
Relationships: Blue Zircon & Peridot (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Professionals [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573660
Comments: 1481
Kudos: 472





	1. Zircon's First Day

Zircon flung a hand over her face as a sunbeam shone directly into her eyes. The luxury of getting to sleep just five more minutes wasn’t something she had ever experienced in thousands of years of service on Homeworld, and she wasn’t above savoring it every chance she got. 

The luxury of sleeping  _ at all _ wasn’t something she commonly got on Homeworld, really. Maybe after a couple of thousands of years on Earth, she’d be used to it. After less than two years? Earth barely even seemed real.

Her phone -- another Earth novelty she still wasn’t quite used to -- sat on a nearby table, a new message notification showing. It had been a gift from Peridot, and when the little technician had described it as “custom modified,” Zircon had half expected the thing to explode. The modifications had turned out to primarily be useful, homebrewed applications, but she hadn’t entirely ruled out explosions.

Zircon gave up on sleeping and checked her messages. Speaking (or rather, thinking), of Peridot...

**PERI5XG:** ZIRCS

**PERI5XG:** ZIRCS

**PERI5XG:** ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRCS

**PERI5XG:** IF YOU DON'T RESPOND IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES I'M GOING TO BREAK FIFTEEN LAWS AND BUILD SOMETHING NOT UP TO CODE

**PERI5XG:** I MEAN IT

 **PERI5XG:** UGH FINE IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE BORING I GUESS I'LL CATCH YOU LATER

The last message was from nearly two hours ago. Zircon mentally debated whether or not she wanted to respond. She had a  _ lot  _ of work to get done, and Peridot’s presence was very much not conducive to productivity.

Zircon pulled up the formal complaint she had been reviewing and was instantly reminded of why she had decided to give up and sleep for a bit. It was a complaint filed by two Topazes about their treatment at the hands of an Aquamarine. Topazes were not particularly good at expressing themselves, and the fact that they each called both themselves and their fusion Topaz made the complaint almost impossible to decipher. “At least use cut designations or nicknames or  _ something," _ she muttered to herself.

Normally she would toss it aside for a while and work on something else, but Steven apparently had personally met these Topazes and had asked her about the complaint status, so to the top of the pile it went. Providing such special treatment to Steven (or any formerly elite Gem) was technically against the new rules, but if they were going to start locking people up for favoritism towards Steven they’d have to start with all three Diamonds and follow up with most of Little Homeworld.

She remembered the time she had asked aloud: “Does anyone else constantly find themselves dropping everything they’re doing to help Steven, or is it just me?” Lapis and Peridot had looked at each other and immediately cracked up laughing. 

Suddenly feeling a bit nostalgic, she looked out the window at her no-longer-really-new home. It was an absolutely gorgeous sunny day. All of the buildings seemed to sparkle, and beyond that were green trees and blue ocean as far as the eye could see. She had thought the view from her office on Homeworld had been perfect, and sometimes she still missed it, but this view really did rival it.

She heard the distant sound of the warp pad activating and looked down to see Steven arriving with what looked like a new Gem. That sight certainly wasn’t helping her shake her nostalgic melancholy.

* * *

“Welcome to Little Homeworld!” Steven flung his arms out wide, nearly hitting her in the arm by accident.

Zircon blinked and squinted, nearly blinded by the brightness of the sun and the vividness of the colors. She had spent the vast majority of her life either chained to her desk (metaphorically - usually) or in various Homeworld courtrooms. She had rarely needed to venture off planet and certainly wasn’t in the habit of going  _ outside. _ The suddenness of warping straight into fresh air and sunshine was almost too much to handle.

“Hey, uh, are you okay?” Steven was looking at her with concern. “If this is too much, we can, uh, go back for now? Take it more… gradually?”

“No!” she said, doing her absolute best to look like she was perfectly okay with the proceedings. If she could handle defending known criminals in front of the Diamonds, she wasn’t about to let the outdoors, of all things, crack her. “This is  _ completely _ acceptable. Just point me towards my office and I’ll get to work.”

“Office?” said Steven, and the confused look on his face made Zircon’s nervousness skyrocket again. “Oh, uh, office. Right, that makes sense. We  _ probably _ have tons of offices. Just let me check with Bismuth, she’s in charge of construction.”

Zircon followed behind Steven as he walked to a nearby building. Externally, she walked with a brisk, no-nonsense gait. Internally, she was frantically trying to take everything in and process it all. Gems of all types, working all sorts of jobs, some she didn’t even recognize. Small buildings in unfamiliar shapes made of unfamiliar materials. What appeared to be multi-Gem fusions walking around in broad daylight. She had heard all these things about Earth and was deeply curious, but seeing it in person was starting to make her wonder if she had made the wrong decision in accepting Steven’s job offer.

Not paying enough attention to where she was going, she nearly tripped over a small blue gem. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Do not worry about it!” said the little Gem, who appeared to be a Larimar. She smiled in a way that was slightly unnerving. “Are you a new Gem here? I offer you my fondest welcome to Little Homeworld!”

“Oh, uh, thank you! That’s very kind of you,” Zircon said nervously. 

“You were following Steven, correct? I will not keep you waiting!” Larimar waved and cheerfully skipped off. Zircon, still not knowing quite what to make of all this, hurried to catch up with the only Gem here who was even vaguely familiar.

Steven peered into the cave-like building. It was dark inside, but Zircon could see the glitter of countless metallic objects by the sunlight streaming in from the door. “Huh, Bismuth’s not here.”

“What do you suppose I should do, then?” asked Zircon, trying not to sweat. She would strongly prefer being in an office right now.  _ I am  _ not _ letting the outdoors crack me. I’m simply not, _ she reminded herself.

“Let’s check with Peridot,” said Steven. “She’s usually either in the greenhouse or in her room underground.”

“Ah, yes, of course, a maintenance Peridot would know all about what facilities are available.”

Confusingly, Steven was leading her into a glass enclosure filled with green, organic life. The smell wasn’t unpleasant, but it was overwhelming, different from anything she had ever experienced, and she once again fought the urge to flee.

“Well, I wouldn’t call her a maintenance Peridot unless you want a soda can tossed at your head,” Steven laughed. “She’s the Chief Technician here in Little Homeworld.”

Zircon was still trying to wrap her head around the new Era 3 hierarchy (or lack thereof). Putting a Peridot in what sounded like a position of considerable power was certainly… a choice. 

“I see,” said Zircon, trying her very hardest to be polite and open-minded. “She seems like a useful resource to have. To know! A useful  _ Gem _ to  _ know, _ no Gem is  _ having _ another Gem any more, those are certainly the new laws which I’ve reviewed multiple times now and completely understand!”

She did not completely understand the new laws.

Steven was looking at her with one eyebrow raised. “Zircon, are you sure you’re okay with this? We can go back. I can even find another lawyer if this isn’t--”

“Of course not!” Zircon immediately straightened her posture and tried to look as professional as possible. “I would  _ never _ turn down such an exciting career opportunity!”

* * *

What she didn’t add: life had been unbearable in Homeworld ever since she had been released from bubble captivity by Blue Diamond. Blue Diamond had cleared her of all charges, but that certainly didn’t stop every other lawyer on the planet from snickering behind her back about how she got carried away defending a  _ half-organic _ and outright threatened a Diamond. Previously one of Blue Diamond’s finest lawyers, she had found herself mostly assigned petty disputes among lower Gems. She had the feeling that the Diamonds, although clearing her name, did not particularly want to see her face again. 

There was only one real place for an outcast from Homeworld, and that was the newly independent planet Earth. She had already been privately reading up on transfer to Earth when Steven had unexpectedly showed up in her office. His empire-dismantling diplomatic entourage was in need of someone who understood Gem law.

“You’re definitely the best lawyer I know,” Steven had said.

“How many lawyers have you interviewed for this position?”

“Interviewed…?” Steven looked confused.

“Don’t tell me you want me to be your court lawyer entirely on the basis of my failure to adequately defend you when you were falsely accused of murder?”

“...yes?”

Zircon had just stared.

“It was nearly impossible, though! And you tried really hard. I know you can do this!”

Zircon considered. It would probably mean an immediate transfer to Earth, if she wanted, and the work was very likely to be interesting. On the other hand, she hadn't entirely decided about Earth yet, and wasn’t at all sure she was ready for such an abrupt upheaval of her life. Not to mention all the rumors about Gems who visited Earth and _went native._

Steven’s smile had dropped slightly. “Definitely don’t feel like you have to do this just because I’m technically kind of a diamond! If you don’t feel comfortable with it, that's completely fine.”

"I’ll do it.” The words came out of her mouth before she even fully realized that she had made up her mind. “When do I start?”

* * *

Zircon was suddenly pulled out of her head by a small, fuzzy, yellow organic suddenly flying straight towards her face. “Aaaaaaaaagh, what is THAT?!” she shrieked.

Steven laughed. “It’s just a bee! It’s not going to hurt you. Well, maybe a little bit, if you scare it. They’re mostly friendly though! They help pollinate the flowers.”

“Pollinate the flowers…?”

“Oh, right, you don’t know what that is. Well, a flower is-- actually, can I explain later? Peridot’s not here, so I’m going to check underground.”

“Lead the way, Steven.”

Steven walked up to the back wall, where there was a tiny panel. Pressing his hand to it caused a screen to pop up in midair, asking “Password?”

“It’s not really that much of a secret,” said Steven, typing in “percynpierre4ever”. “Peridot just likes to think she has a secret lair.”

“A secret… lair?” She knew that the Earth gems were frequently eccentric, but she was starting to suspect that no amount of reading reports would prepare her for how much.

A door slid open, revealing a cylindrical elevator. Steven entered and beckoned her in. She took a moment to gather herself before following. At least underground wasn’t outside.

The elevator doors opened onto a short hallway with a few doors. The one at the very end was adorned with countless bizarre stickers and other decorations, which Zircon couldn’t even begin to make sense of. She could hear the faint sounds of music.

Steven knocked. “Peridot?” No apparent response. Steven knocked louder. “Hey, Peridot!”

The door suddenly slid open and a tiny green Gem practically launched herself at Steven at top speed. “Steven!” she shrieked. “You’re back from Homeworld and you didn’t die!”

Zircon tensed immediately at the sight of a lower Gem --  _ there are no lower Gems any more, just equal Gems, _ she corrected herself -- a Peridot being so outwardly familiar with a Diamond. Not only that, but she was apparently missing her limb enhancers. Steven clearly valued this Peridot, so she couldn’t even speculate as to why he hadn’t bothered to give her enhancers.  _ I really hope I can adjust to working for this strange new Diamond _ , she thought for the millionth time.

To her relief, Steven wasn’t angry at the inappropriate display. Exactly the opposite: he grinned and returned the Peridot’s hug. “Of course I didn’t die! What kind of a mission did you think I was going on?”

A Lapis Lazuli slid into view behind the Peridot -- and wasn’t  _ that _ an unusual pair to see together? A vague memory pinged in the back of her head, but she couldn’t quite grasp it. 

“I kept trying to tell Peri you’d be fine, but she wouldn’t listen,” said the Lapis.

“Lapis!” said Steven, and he immediately included her in the embrace as well, all three Gems smiling brightly. 

“Hey, you were worried too!” The Peridot playfully poked the Lazuli’s arm.  _ She certainly behaves quite… freely… among former Elites, _ Zircon couldn’t help thinking. 

“Maybe a little,” said Lazuli, affectionately ruffling the Peridot’s hair, causing the smaller Gem to blush.

“And who is  _ this?" _ said the Peridot, suddenly noticing Zircon right behind Steven. 

“Guys, this is my friend Zircon! She’s going to be doing my law stuff. Right?”

“Oh -- ah -- yes!” said Zircon, caught off guard by being called a  _ friend. _ Not that she didn’t like Steven, but as far as she was concerned this was a job and nothing more. “I’m going to be serving as Steven’s court lawyer. It’s certainly a pleasure to meet you both.”

Peridot stepped forward and shook her hand enthusiastically. “Well, I’m Peridot! Nice to meet you!”

Lapis was giving her a look that was surface-level pleasant but obviously quite wary and guarded. “Lapis Lazuli,” she introduced herself. “What brings you here?”

“Oh, right,” said Steven. “She needs an office. Peridot, do you know if there’s a spare office for her?”

“Just a second, let me check.” Some kind of rectangular gadget floated through the air and settled in front of the Peridot’s face. 

“What technology is that?” said Zircon, astonished.

“It’s a tablet,” said the Peridot, absently, as she activated what seemed to be a touchscreen. “I can get you one if you want.”

“Do they all float to you like that?”

“No, that’s just Peridot,” explained Steven. “She can move metal with her mind.”

“I’m trying to teach the other Peridots here, but it’s been going…” The Peridot made an “ehhhh” gesture with her hand. “Office, office, office… got it! This one is perfect for you, it’s on the top floor of Building 2L. Here, Steven, claim it for her.” She handed her tablet over to Steven, who tapped a few things and handed it back. “And… done. Welcome to Earth!” 

“Thank you,” said Zircon.

“Hey!” said the Peridot. “If you’re a lawyer, then you  _ have _ to watch  _ Crime and Justice: Special Vampire Unit  _ with me sometime!”

“That show sucks,” said the Lapis.

“It does not suck! You just don’t have a sufficient appreciation of courtroom process. I bet Zircon here would get it.” The Peridot smiled eagerly at a bewildered Zircon. “I learned  _ all about _ Earth law from this program. You won’t  _ believe  _ how much of it has to do with warring vampire clans!”

“That’s… not true,” said Steven, apologetically.

“I… don’t understand those words. Am I supposed to know what that is?” Zircon had never even talked to a Peridot apart from putting in a maintenance request before. She had no idea they could be so… whatever was happening here.

“You have to start from Season One,” the Peridot was saying. “You can skip a few episodes at the beginning if you want, because it takes a while for the show to hit its stride. But around the time Ellie gets revealed as a secret merperson, it  _ really _ starts getting good.”

“Peridot, can I talk to you for a second?” said Steven, pulling the Peridot into what Zircon assumed was her “secret lair.” It was filled to the brim with tech that Zircon couldn’t even begin to understand, and a lot of what she could only assume were Earth artifacts. Those were possibly even more incomprehensible.

“Hey,” said the Lapis. Zircons didn’t generally interact much with Lapises, except at infrequent social events. They were technically a rung or two above Zircons in the social hierarchy which Zircon had spent her entire life navigating and which was now no longer supposed to exist.

“Hello,” said Zircon, summoning her best small talk skills. “This is, ah. A very nice… city.”

The Lapis leaned in close, and Zircon fought the urge to back up. She wasn’t about to be intimidated by a Lapis Lazuli on her very first day on the job. “Look, you seem like you’re probably okay, but… I hope you know that if you’re not actually on board with helping Steven, or if you hurt him in any way, both Peridot and I will kill you, if the other Crystal Gems don’t get to you first.”

Zircon felt herself sweat.  _ This, _ she had heard rumors about. Steven’s inner circle of fanatical loyalists who had betrayed their own Diamonds for him. That was the memory she had been trying to recall before -- a Lapis Lazuli who dropped an entire  _ building _ on Blue Diamond. Given Steven’s obvious closeness, there was no doubt in her mind that this Lapis was the very same. This Peridot was no doubt part of their group as well.

If she wanted to keep this job -- and somehow, even after the way her day was going so far, she did -- she would do well to tread lightly with Steven’s closest friends. Zircons had no natural defenses; a Lapis Lazuli could trivially shatter her if she were so inclined. 

“I most certainly have no intention of causing harm to Steven.” she said.  _ He’s the nicest Gem I’ve met in thousands of years, _ she thought, but didn’t say. She was a little unsettled by how easily the thought came to her. Was this how Steven inspired such intense devotion? “I’m grateful to Steven for offering me this job, and I intend to execute it to the best of my abilities.”

The Lapis’s expression was completely neutral. “Okay,” she said.

Steven and the Peridot had been having a conversation that involved a lot of excited hand gestures on her side. They seemingly came to an agreement and walked back to the door.

“Steven has advised me to not insist on introducing you to Earth television programs until you have ‘settled in’,” said the Peridot, making air quotes. “I’m inclined to agree with his reasoning. But seriously, you have to watch this thing. Later! You can watch it later.” she added, noticing Steven’s look.

“C’mon, let’s get you set up in your office,” said Steven, pulling a grateful Zircon away. “Thanks for the help, guys. See you later!”

Just as they had turned to walk down the hall, the Peridot called out, “Steven! Wait!”

“What?”

“I almost forgot, the DLC for Pizza Kart came out while you were on Homeworld!”

“Really?! I almost forgot about that!” Steven’s eyes grew so wide and sparkly, Zircon could swear she saw stars in them.

“Yeah, and it’s  _ great. _ There’s this track where you’re riding around in space. Lapis keeps falling off, it’s hilarious.” Lapis glared at Peridot as she kept talking. “And they added both Petunia and her evil counterpart, Watunia!”

“That sounds awesome! Let me get Zircon taken care of and I’ll come back, okay?”

“Yesssssss,” said Peridot, pumping her fists.

“See you soon, Steven!” said Lapis, smiling, seeming like a completely different person than the one who had just threatened Zircon.

“Sorry if they can be a bit… much,” said Steven apologetically, while they were in the elevator going up. “They’re really great once you get to know them.”

“I’m sure they are,” said Zircon. She hoped Steven couldn’t tell how much she was terrified.

She was a good lawyer. She would do her job and do it well. But she was only on Earth because she had become  _ persona non grata _ on Homeworld. She had no intention of making friends, and she  _ certainly _ wasn’t going to get too involved with their strange Earth culture. 

In fact, she would do well to not get too close to any of Steven’s inner circle. Her encounter with the Lapis and Peridot had shown her that they were every bit as strange as the rumors would suggest. She doubted there was any real danger of her getting pulled in herself -- she was  _ nothing _ like the clear oddities she had just met -- but there was no sense risking her sanity and becoming… that.

* * *

Things changed faster than she could have ever imagined. Steven insisting that she attend a Welcome to Little Homeworld mixer party. Amethyst cornering her and badgering her into signing up for a class or three. Learning how to draw among Pearls and former corruptions. Long walks at dusk, learning names and faces and growing accustomed to the cool, fresh breeze blowing off the rolling hills. Becoming frustrated with work, signing up for a blown glass class on a whim, and meeting Bismuth. Peridot finally convincing her to give that TV show a try. Meeting her first full human -- Connie Maheswaran, who wanted to know absolutely  _ everything _ about Gem law and culture. 

Still, all of that could easily be filed under being cordial and growing acclimated to her surroundings. Each little victory that Earth and especially Steven’s friends won against her stubborn determination to not get pulled in seemed innocent enough at the time. She started getting out of her office more frequently. Bismuth started calling her Zircs, and everyone else followed suit. At some point, Lapis’s smile-disguising-wary-distrust just became a regular smile. She learned the passcode to Peridot's lair, and it slowly became normal to take a break from work and go watch some terrible Earth lawyer shows. 

She honestly didn’t fully realize what had happened to her until the day when an entourage from Homeworld was visiting. She was in the greenhouse, chatting to Peridot about  _ Special Vampire Unit _ fan theories to keep her company while she tended to her plants, when a group of Gems from Blue Diamond’s court unexpectedly showed up.

“Ugh, it smells  _ awful _ in here. How can any Gem stand it?” said an Aquamarine at the front of the pack.

“Shhh, Aquamarine! We’re supposed to be polite!”

“Well, this is all very… quaint,” said a Polyhedric Agate, voice dripping with disdain. “You there. You Peridot. What is this place? Who runs it?”

“It’s a greenhouse for growing Earth plants, and I do,” said Peridot, the tone of her voice suggesting she was ready to verbally throw down if they dared go too far in insulting her. “I’m Little Homeworld’s Chief Technician, if you have any questions.” Peridot loved to flaunt the official title that Steven had granted her in front of Homeworld Gems who didn’t think a Peridot should be in charge of anything.

The Agate, and several other Gems in the group, started laughing. “Chief Technician, huh?” said the Agate. “Very  _ impressive." _

Before Peridot could retort, a familiar face stepped out of the group. “...A Zircon? Here? Is that really you, 6GN?”

Zircon froze. Her old designation sounded so strange now. “Yes, uh, nice to see you again, 3BR.” She knew this Zircon well, and she had worked with her on many occasions. Suddenly seeing her here was like having a bucketful of ice poured into a warm bath.

“It seems like yesterday we were working on that Demantoid case together.” Cut-3BR was looking at Zircon as though she was something foreign and terrifying. “I’ve heard about how Earth causes perfectly good Gems to go native. I never dreamed it would happen to a Zircon in  _ under a year." _

“It’s been more than a year, and I have  _ not _ gone native.” Zircon was suddenly very aware that her hands were covered in dirt from helping Peridot move plants around. The Aquamarine snorted with laughter.

“Zircs…” Peridot sounded offended.

“Peridot, I didn’t mean-- I’m just saying--”

“You’re  _ apologizing _ to a  _ Peridot? _ Wow, 6GN, you really  _ have _ taken this Era 3 stuff to heart.”

Zircon found herself wishing with all her might that the Homeworld entourage would just  _ leave _ so she could get back to planting flowers and talking about TV and  _ oh stars she really had gone native. _

And the even more shocking realization was that Earth had infected her so thoroughly that she didn’t actually care what her former colleague thought as much as she cared about hurting Peridot’s feelings. 

Zircon stood up. “Well, so  _ what _ if I’ve gone native? So  _ what _ if I’m apologizing to a Peridot? At least I’m not walking around insulting other Gems and acting like I’m too high and mighty to enjoy a perfectly good greenhouse!”

Peridot’s hurt immediately evaporated. “Yeah! You tell ‘em, Zircs!”

3BR’s derision was rapidly turning into unease. “Oh my  _ stars, _ you really are  _ insane. _ I guess that's what I'd expect from a Zircon who thought it was a great idea to accuse a Diamond of murder.” She started backing out of the greenhouse. “I’m getting out of here. I’m starting to think it’s not good to stay on Earth too long.”

The other Gems murmured in agreement and filed out. A Sapphire lingered behind for a moment. “I think it’s a nice greenhouse,” she said. “Good luck with your -- well, good luck.” She followed the group out.

“What was  _ that _ about?” Zircon wondered.

“You scared them away with your Earth madness,” said Peridot, in awe.

“I admitted I had gone native, I did  _ not _ say I had  _ Earth madness." _

“You do, though!” Peridot grinned joyfully. “I should know, I’ve had Earth madness for years now, that pretty much makes me an expert. And that was a clear-cut case of Earth madness.”

Zircon opened her mouth to deny this, but instead crumpled onto a nearby stool. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I really do have Earth madness,” she said, burying her hands in her hair. “The evidence has been there all along, but I’ve been too blind to see it.”

“It happens,” said Peridot. “You get used to it. Hey, do you think Carlos really was the one who turned Olivia into a vampire?”

“Peridot, please. I’m having a moment here.” Zircon paused. Her eyes narrowed. “Of  _ course _ it wasn’t Carlos. Are we even watching the same show? Don’t you remember the obvious hints in season 5, episode 2 that Olivia is just faking being a vampire to get a promotion?”

* * *

Zircon’s phone buzzing pulled her mind back to the present day. It was probably Peridot again, and this time she might as well respond. It wasn’t like she was getting anything constructive done.

**BismuthTime:** hey zircs, you there

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Sure, what is it?

**BismuthTime:** just a heads up, lapis is going through a thing right now

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Does that really warrant a warning? When is Lapis  _ not _ going through a thing?

**BismuthTime:** i know, i know, but this one’s a little different

**BismuthTime:** and also at least partially my fault

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Bis, what in the stars did you do?

**BismuthTime:** i think

**BismuthTime:** i think lapis finally realized she’s in love with peridot

**CourtLawyerZircon:** …

**BismuthTime:** zircs?

**CourtLawyerZircon:** How is it even possible that she didn’t know that?

**BismuthTime:** exactly!

**BismuthTime:** i thought she already knew, everyone else does

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Except Peridot, obviously.

**BismuthTime:** obviously

**BismuthTime:** anyway, if you see her, maybe avoid mentioning peridot

**CourtLawyerZircon:** If you ask me, it sounds like you did her a favor.

**BismuthTime:** you’re not wrong

**BismuthTime:** but i understand how it would be a lot to process

**BismuthTime:** i mean, imagine if you were in love with peridot

**CourtLawyerZircon:** If it’s all the same to you, I’m going to avoid imagining that.

**BismuthTime:** that’s reasonable

**CourtLawyerZircon:** You do realize you're going to have to fill me in on everything.

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Are you going to be at book club later?

**BismuthTime:** oh slag, i completely forgot to read the next chapter

**BismuthTime:** just drop by my forge and i'll tell you the whole thing

**BismuthTime:** assuming peridot isn't here

**CourtLawyerZircon:** That sounds like a plan.


	2. Lapis's Little Green Gem Problem

_ then _

She was falling through inky blackness, and, at the same time, she somehow felt utterly confined. Her limbs wouldn’t obey her movements, and her wings wouldn’t spread. She felt completely lost and alone, the sort of deep conviction you only feel in dreams. She was struggling with all her might to get back to… somewhere, or maybe someone.

Lapis Lazuli opened her eyes slowly, still half in the dream, a part of her expecting to see the same unchanging sky above the Galaxy Warp, another part of her expecting to feel the crushing pressure of deep ocean water. Gradually, she became aware that she was waking up exactly where she had fallen asleep: on a hill not far from the construction site of Little Homeworld, warm afternoon sun on her face and a cool ocean breeze ruffling the grass around her. 

She sat up. As usual, there was a flurry of activity surrounding Little Homeworld, as the formerly corrupted Gems went about their jobs. She could just make out a small green Gem pop up from behind the buildings, fly around in a frantic circle, and lower herself out of sight. 

Peridot.

It had been a couple of months since Lapis had returned from the moon and finally gathered the courage to apologize to Peri and ask for forgiveness. Peridot had apologized, too -- there was a lot that had been unsaid between them that shouldn’t have been. She could still picture Peridot’s sad face, telling her that it was going to take time. 

They had been on reasonably good terms again, but even “reasonably good terms” still hurt -- especially on days like this, when the world felt like it was closing in and she wished she had someone to pull her back. 

Peridot had thrown herself into the construction of Little Homeworld with all of her usual enthusiasm. It made Lapis happy to see her so in her element -- but it made her a little sad, too.

Peri didn’t need her. Maybe -- even though she was friendly to Lapis -- Peri didn’t even want her around any more. She had a new purpose and new friends. And even though Peridot seemed happy on the surface, Lapis could often catch a glimpse of sadness and anxiety on her face when they spoke.

A sudden gust of wind ruffled Lapis’s hair, and she heard a strange crinkling noise. She looked around for its source before realizing it was coming from  _ her. _ There was a wrinkled piece of paper taped to her pants.

As much as Lapis was unsure of where she stood with Peridot, she still knew her well enough to know that there was only one Gem around who would do something like  _ that. _ Apprehensive, she very carefully peeled the paper from her pants.

She really, really hoped it wasn’t a “I hate you, please leave me alone forever” note, like the kind of thing that happened on  _ Camp Pining Hearts. _

Lapis flipped the note over and read it: “panel in back of greenhouse percynpierre4ever”.

Well, it wasn’t a hate note. She looked up at the Little Homeworld construction, where she could see the roof of Peridot’s greenhouse just behind a mess of scaffolding. It had been one of the first things constructed, at Peri’s insistence.

There was nothing to do but find out what all this was about, so Lapis flew in, carefully avoiding catching the eye of any Gem she saw on the way. She slid open the door to the greenhouse. 

The greenhouse was empty of any Gems, but it was slowly becoming full of an assortment of Earth plants, as well as a few species pulled from other colonies and some of Peri’s own experiments. It didn’t take Lapis very long to spot the panel on the back wall that the note had indicated. Touching it caused a screen to pop up, asking her for a password, so she copied in the password written on the note.

A door slid open, revealing a cylindrical elevator. If Peridot had been building a secret room for herself, that could certainly explain where she went sometimes when no one could find her. Lapis rode the elevator to the bottom. There was a short hallway with a few doors. The one at the end of the hallway had one of Peri’s alien face stickers stuck to it, so she went and knocked. “Peridot?”

The door immediately snapped open, and Lapis stepped inside, the door sliding shut behind her. Her momentary panic at being trapped subsided when she realized where she was: a kind of underground cave filled with a messy clutter of robot parts, gardening supplies, and human junk. It reminded her a lot of the barn. Most of all, it was extremely, unmistakably  _ Peridot. _

“Lapis!” called the familiar voice. Peridot emerged from behind a workbench, running up with a huge grin on her face. “Welcome to my secret lair!”

“Secret lair, huh?” said Lapis, who couldn’t help but smile herself.

“Yeah, what do you think?”

“I love it,” said Lapis, and she really did.

Peridot blushed, her face turning a bright shade of blue. “Well, now that you have the passcode, you can come visit any time! And I was thinking that sometimes we could watch TV, or work on meep morps. Like we used to.”

Lapis was stunned. “That sounds… amazing, actually.”

“I know that you don’t really have any place to stay since… you know… since we dismantled what was left of the barn,” said Peridot. “And I thought… maybe… if you wanted to… you don’t  _ have _ to, of course…!”

“Have to what?”

“You could stay here sometimes. If you want to! I found your old hammock in the barn and set it up over here, see? And here’s the couch, and all of your old morp supplies that I could gather. I know it’s not much.”

Lapis couldn’t speak. She couldn’t stop her eyes from filling with tears. She had somehow resisted Blue Diamond’s wave of grief, but  _ this _ was too much. 

“Lapis!” Peridot called out in alarm. “Are you okay? You look upset. You don’t have to… you can forget all this, if you don’t like it.”

“No!” Lapis managed to choke out. “Peridot, I’m not upset, I’m  _ happy. _ I never thought… I thought you…” A sob escaped from her as she tried to speak.

“Don’t cry, Lapis,” said Peridot, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “If you start crying, then I’m going to start crying, and I told myself I wasn’t going to cry.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I can’t help it,” said Lapis. “I want this. I missed you.”

Peridot’s eyes had become enormous and shiny. “I missed you too.”

A split second later they were full on crying, hugging each other close.

“There’s just one problem,” said Peridot, as soon as she had recovered enough to speak again.

“What is it?”

“I can’t remember where we left off on our  _ Camp Pining Hearts _ rewatch.”

Lapis laughed, and cried, and held onto Peridot. “Maybe we should just start over.”

* * *

_ now _

Lapis soared above Little Homeworld. It was the kind of beautiful, sunny day where it felt like nothing could go wrong.

Multiple times in her life, she had thought she’d never see another day like this again. It still seemed too good to be true, most of the time. 

When she was trapped in the mirror, she had often occupied her mind by constructing elaborate dreams of what her life could be like if she were ever released, or what her life could have been like if she had never been trapped. Even in her most indulgent fantasies she had never imagined a life as free as she had now. She definitely could not have conceived of a future where the Diamonds would dismantle their Empire, where Gems of all types and castes lived together on Earth, where she had a safe place to come home to, where she had friends who cared about her.

It was still hard, and she still had bad days. Sometimes, she would wake up feeling like there were chains around her wrists. Sometimes, she’d look up at the night sky and remember the unchanging view from her mirror. She couldn’t always stop herself from freezing on the spot and forgetting where she was. Thankfully, her closest friends were learning how to bring her back, how to pull her out of her own head and ground her again. These days, she didn’t even really need them to be around. She could close her eyes and imagine Peridot squeezing her hand: “Lapis, it’s okay. You’re here. I’m here. We’re both safe.”

Having close friends other than Peridot and Steven -- that was also something that took her some time to adjust to. Peri had made a couple of new friends, and while she understood on some level that it was good for her, she initially couldn’t help but regard these new Gems with suspicion. She had even threatened Zircon when they first met, terrified that the Homeworld Gem might be a saboteur. That was pretty funny in hindsight, now that she knew the nervous wreck lawyer wasn’t a threat to anything but her own sanity.

Slowly, she had come to recognize the benefit of getting a perspective other than Peridot’s, especially when she needed to vent  _ about _ Peridot. Helping Peridot with her greenhouse classes, relaxing in the friendly heat of Bismuth’s forge, gathering everyone together to watch Earth TV, making Zircon take a break when she was pulling her hair out from work, sitting in her new rooftop garden, listening to Steven chatter enthusiastically about his diplomatic efforts off-world -- all of these things were starting to make sense to her, becoming part of her new normal. And that new normal was coming easier to her each day.

Even so, her favorite thing to do was still spending time alone with Peridot. She touched down from her flight in front of the greenhouse, zipped past the sole Gem inside with a quick “hello,” and opened up the not-even-remotely-secret entrance to Peridot’s “secret lair.” 

“Peridot!” she called as she entered the cave, nearly tripping on a pile of clothes Peridot had left near the entrance.

“Lapis!” Peridot was startled, and quickly hid something beneath a pile of metal junk. Lapis thought she recognized the item in the split second she saw it, but that couldn’t possibly be right. “You’re back! How was your flight?”

“Good! The leaves are starting to turn colors just north of here. Want to come with me tomorrow so I can show you?”

“Yeah, that sounds great!”

“So, what have you been up to this whole time?” Lapis was trying to glance at the pile of junk to see what Peridot was hiding without making it obvious.

“Oh, you know, just working on a few projects. I’ve got some ideas for a new kind of security drone. We wouldn’t even need Rubies any more! I mean, we’d still have Rubies, obviously, I don’t know what we’d do with all the Rubies if we put them out of work, but maybe the drones could just  _ supplement _ the Rubies.”

Lapis gave up and just decided to go straight for it. “What did you just hide?”

Peridot froze, her cheeks turning blue. Peri was good at a lot of things, but lying wasn’t one of them. “Oh,  _ that?  _ You saw that? That was nothing, just something else I’m working on--”

Lapis swept away the pile of junk to reveal a Rejuvenator.

“Peridot, why do you have this?!”

“Wait, wait, wait, let me explain!”

“You’d better.”

“You know how none of the Era 2 gems can shapeshift, right? Well, that means we can’t ever change what we look like or what we’re wearing without getting poofed. That’s really inconvenient! I thought, what if there’s a way for us to get poofed and regenerate safely? Like a booth we can go into to change clothes?”

“Like… a suicide booth?”

“It is  _ not _ a suicide booth! It’s for changing clothes! Anyway, I was studying Gem Destabilizers, but they do a lot of damage that takes a while to heal. That’s when I found the core of the Rejuvenator that Steven broke in the Crystal Temple. From Spinel, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember the time we all nearly drowned in poison. That’s not really the kind of thing I would forget about.”

“Right, so you  _ do _ remember! Anyway, I thought I could reverse-engineer the Rejuvenator to take out the memory-wiping bit and just leave the poof-and-regenerate part.”

“...for the suicide booth.”

“No one’s going to want to use it if you keep calling it a suicide booth!”

“No one’s going to want to use it anyway!” said Lapis. “Why would someone poof themselves just so they can  _ change clothes?” _ Peridot blushed. “Someone  _ besides _ you.”

“...Dottie thought it sounded like a good idea,” said Peridot.

Dottie was one of a small number of Peridots who had come to Little Homeworld to help out with maintenance. She was nice enough, but incredibly forgetful; it had become pretty clear early on why Yellow Diamond hadn’t minded letting this particular Peridot leave her service. She seemed to think all of Peridot’s ideas were good ones, which in practice meant that she needed to be kept away from Peridot at all costs.

“This is insanely dangerous, Peridot,” said Lapis, frustration building. “You can’t just play around with something like a Rejuvenator. What if it activates and wipes your memory?”

“Steven could fix it! He fixed the other Crystal Gems.”

“I don’t want to go through that with you!” Lapis yelled. “You  _ need _ to  _ stop. _ You need to put that back in the Crystal Temple where you found it before someone gets hurt.”

“I was being careful!” Peridot yelled back. “I bet a lot of Gems would like to change their appearance! Maybe I could even help fix all the corrupted Gems who don’t want to have horns or blotches any more. Why can’t you just trust me?”

“I want to trust you, but you don’t seem to realize how dangerous this is. What if you get memory wiped and Steven can’t fix you? What if another Gem gets wiped testing out your… clothing booth?” Lapis hugged her arms close. “...I can’t lose you, Peri. Please?”

Peridot huffed angrily. “Fine. You win. I’ll stop working on the booth. Happy?”

“Yes,” said Lapis, although she wasn’t happy at all. She just couldn’t understand how Peridot could be so reckless. Lapis’s new life already felt so tenuous, she didn’t need Peridot taking unnecessary risks.

“Glad that’s settled,” said Peridot, although she still sounded hurt. “Want to watch TV or something?”

“No,” said Lapis. “Sorry. I need some time.” She turned around and left the lair.

* * *

_ then _

Lapis cautiously peeked into the doorway of Bismuth’s forge. The intense dry heat made her uneasy; if she needed to use her powers for some reason, the complete lack of water in the air would make it much more difficult.

Not that she really thought she’d need them. Both Steven and Peridot trusted this new Gem, so she doubted she’d be in any danger. Still, she liked to have the option to flee, just in case.

A blast of hot air hit her in the face as she looked inside. The room was filled with all sorts of expertly crafted metal objects. Swords, mostly, but they were starting to get lost among the piles of bars, rivets and fasteners Bismuth was crafting for the construction of Little Homeworld.

Bismuth was standing by her anvil, pounding something-or-other into shape. “Lapis Lazuli!” she called out. “What brings you here?”

“Sorry to bother you,” said Lapis.

“Not at all! I’m glad to finally see you here. Peridot talks about you non-stop, you know.”

Lapis blushed. Peridot and Bismuth had hit it off right away over a shared love of building and dangerous metal objects. Steven had put them in charge of the plans for Little Homeworld, and they had both immediately taken to the task with intense enthusiasm.

“Peridot talks about you a lot, too. She says you’re a good sounding board. I guess that’s why I’m here.”

“A sounding board, huh?” Bismuth thrust her hand into the lava waterfall behind her to heat up some metal. “I’m flattered. I don’t think it’s me, though. The forge is just a good place to clear your head.”

“Maybe,” said Lapis. The intense heat of the forge wasn’t really making her head feel cleared. If anything, it made her want to curl up and take a nap.

“Anyway, I’m just churning out rivets, so I’m happy to listen. What’s on your mind?”

Lapis nodded. She wasn’t really in the habit of talking to Gems she barely knew about her troubles, but this was serious, and she knew neither Steven nor Peridot would understand. 

“Bismuth, you were around for most of the rebellion, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Do you really think…” She struggled to express her thoughts. “Do you really think all  _ this _ can last? Peace with the Diamonds, I mean. Do you really think they changed their minds?”

Bismuth stopped mid-hammer. “Oh slag, you’re going right for the hard questions, aren’t you?”

“Sorry,” said Lapis. “I just keep thinking about it, over and over. I’m not sure who else would understand.”

“No, don’t apologize. I’ve been thinking it too.” She leaned pensively against her anvil. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s hard to believe that anything could make the Diamonds dismantle their Empire willingly. On the other hand, it’s also hard to believe that Steven would set out to make someone his friend and fail at it.”

Lapis nodded. “Right? If it were anyone but Steven telling me the Diamonds had changed, I’d be halfway out of the galaxy by now.”

“I bet you would,” said Bismuth, a little darkly. She resumed hammering. “I’m just trying to take things one day at a time. It’s really all you can do.”

Lapis sighed. “I wish I could.”

“Well, what’s stopping you?”

“Everyone’s so excited about Little Homeworld, especially Peridot. And she deserves this  _ so much  _ after everything she’s been through. I’m just worried that we’ll all get our hopes up and it’ll come crashing down in flames.”

Bismuth stared down thoughtfully at her work. “I was on Earth a couple hundred years before getting bubbled, and you know the most important thing I learned?”

“What?”

“On Homeworld, nothing ever changes. Earth is the opposite. Nothing ever stays the same. Good, bad, nothing lasts forever.”

“How can you even live like that, though?”

“It’s hard,” Bismuth admitted. “You have to make sure you appreciate the good things while you can. Look at it this way: would you rather have a moment of peace in Little Homeworld before everything goes to dust? Or would you rather run and have everything go to dust anyway?”

Lapis thought of Peridot’s face when she had lifted the barn from the Earth. “Enjoy it while it lasts, I guess. I can try that.” 

Bismuth nodded. “I can tell you’re a strong Gem, and I’m not talking about the water thing. You can do this.”

“I hope so.” Lapis allowed herself a small smile. “Peridot was right. You really are a good sounding board.”

“I do my best,” said Bismuth. 

* * *

_ now _

Lapis cautiously peeked in the doorway of Bismuth’s forge, relieved that no one was in there apart from the builder herself. “Hi, Bismuth.”

“Lapis!” Bismuth called out cheerfully. “Come in, come in, have a seat. You look stressed. What’s up?”

“Guess,” said Lapis, lying on one of the warm stone benches that lined the forge.

“Hmm, let me think. Is your problem green?”

“Yeah,” said Lapis. “It’s a small green Gem that  _ never listens." _

“Doesn’t sound like anyone I know,” said Bismuth, melting another batch of metal. “Seriously, though. What did you and Peridot fight about?”

“She’s working on this new project that apparently needs a Rejuvenator core.”

“What?! Why would she need something like that?”

“It’s for a booth where you can poof yourself to change your clothes, I guess.”

“So, Peridot’s making a  _ suicide booth?” _

“That’s what I said!”

“I sure hope you told her to stop,” said Bismuth.

“I did, but… she seemed so upset. I think she’s still mad at me. She thinks I don’t trust her.” Lapis sighed and put a hand to her forehead. “I just wish she had some sense of self-preservation. Is that too much to ask?”

“With Peridot? Yes. Don’t you remember the jetpack incident a couple of weeks ago?”

“Oh my stars, don’t remind me. I thought for sure she was going to crack her Gem when she hit the building at full speed.”

“She’s lucky she’s so resilient. She just cracked the building instead. Which I had to help fix, of course,” said Bismuth, pounding some large metal rings into shape. 

“Bis, is it just me, or does Peridot seem to be getting into more dangerous stuff recently?”

“Hmm,” Bismuth stopped hammering the metal rings to think. “You might be right.”

“I don’t understand. Little Homeworld’s done. She has so much more free time now. She can do whatever she wants. Why do  _ that?” _

“Maybe that’s the problem, right there,” said Bismuth. “She was flat-out busy for months with Little Homeworld. Now she has a lot more free time and doesn’t know what to do with herself. I can relate.” She looked down at the glowing metal rings thoughtfully. “You know, as much as we’re all free Gems now, we still have our natural inclinations. Peridots want to be useful. They want to make things. She needs an outlet. Something less dangerous than jetpacks and Rejuvenator cores.”

“Right, that makes sense.”

“Or,” said Bismuth, a mischievous grin on her face, “she needs something  _ else _ to occupy her time. Like a girlfriend.”

“A girlfriend?!” Lapis felt as though she had suddenly been dropped into ice water. “What are you saying? No. Peridot does  _ not _ need a girlfriend.”

“Well, if she did,” said Bismuth, still smiling, “I’d be happy to help set her up with one, you know?”

“Did -- did you have someone in mind?” Lapis choked out, trying to suppress her blush.

“Oh, I think there’s only one obvious choice,” said Bismuth. “Biggs!”

“WHAT?”

“Biggs loves everyone! I’m pretty sure she’s already dated half of Little Homeworld. I don’t think she’s dated a Peridot, though. She might want to check that off her bucket list, you never know.”

Lapis was almost entirely sure Bismuth was kidding, but she still felt as though her entire world was collapsing around her. Peridot with a girlfriend. 

She had just assumed that she and Peri were best friends and nothing would come permanently between them as long as Lapis didn’t screw up. She didn’t have romantic feelings for Peri, and was sure that Peri didn’t feel that way about her, they were just very close. But if that were true, then she shouldn’t mind the idea of Peridot getting a girlfriend, should she? Shouldn’t she be happy for her friend, if it should ever happen? And with the amount of Gems Peridot knew around Little Homeworld, wasn’t it kind of inevitable that it would happen at some point?

The thought was making her feel absolutely sick. Peridot in the arms of another Gem -- and, oh stars, the fact that she was thinking of it that way was  _ not _ a good sign. No more cuddling on the couch, no more naps together in the hammock…

Oh, no.  _ Oh, no. _

“Lapis? Lapis!” Bismuth was trying to get her attention. “I’m sorry, Lapis, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” said Lapis, in a voice that made it abundantly clear that she was not fine.

“I’m so sorry, Lapis, I was just teasing. I took it too far. You look like you’re about to keel over.”

“It’s okay, Bis,” she said, trying to reassure herself more than Bismuth. “I knew you were kidding.”

“I sure hope so. You know that I would never do anything like that to you.”

“I know you wouldn’t -- wait,  _ to me?” _ said Lapis. “I thought we were talking about Peridot.”

Bismuth’s face darkened in a blush. “Well, yeah, I just meant -- because you two are such good friends!”

Lapis just stared at Bismuth.  _ She knew. _

At precisely the wrong moment, Peridot flew into the forge, tripping over her trash can lid as she dismounted. “Hi, Bis! I wanted to--” She spotted Lapis. “Oh! Lapis. I didn’t mean to follow you here, I was just going to talk to Bis--”

Lapis didn’t hear the rest of what she had to say because she had already fled out the door.

* * *

_ then _

Lapis had returned from her flight in a mood. Not one of her worst moods, the kind where she could feel Malachite there every time she closed her eyes. More of a dull, anxious feeling that made the world seem gray and lifeless.

Peri hadn’t been in her lair when she had returned. She had peeked into Bismuth’s forge to see her best friend laughing cheerfully and helping the builder with some kind of project. They seemed so happy that Lapis hated to disturb them. Instead, she decided to retreat to one of her favorite places to think, the top of the tallest building in town, still under construction and covered in scaffolding.

She had never seen anyone up there before, so she was very surprised when she nearly crashed into a bright blue Gem.

“Zircon?” she said, touching down nearby. “What are you doing up here?”

“It’s… right above my office, and I thought maybe the fresh air would help clear my head,” she said, her voice jangling with nerves. “I can leave, there’s no particular reason why I need to be here!”

“No, you don’t have to leave. You were here first.” She hoped that Zircon wasn’t nervous because of her, particularly, but she had been starting to get the impression that she was simply nervous  _ all the time. _ “I can leave.”

“You don’t have to leave. It’s a big roof. Plenty of room for two Gems.”

Lapis considered, then settled down several feet away from Zircon.

It wasn’t that she didn’t like Zircon, exactly. Peridot had seemed determined to make friends with her right off the bat, which mostly had to do with the fact that she wanted someone other than Lapis to watch her terrible vampire lawyer show with. Otherwise, Zircon seemed to spend the vast majority of her time holed up in her office. That made sense, given her work, but it meant that Lapis hadn’t really bothered to ever talk to her except in passing.

Maybe that wasn’t exactly fair. If Peridot liked her, how bad could she be?

“I didn’t even know you liked fresh air,” said Lapis.

“Neither did I. Earth, huh?”

“Yeah. Earth.”

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. Zircon fidgeted. Lapis wondered what she was so nervous about all of the time. There was clearly something bothering her. Lapis debated asking. Helping other Gems with her problems wasn’t really her thing. On the other hand, it would probably pull her out of her own head, which was something she really needed right now.

Did Zircon even talk to anyone in Little Homeworld apart from Peridot?

...was she up here for the  _ exact same reason _ Lapis was?

“Hey, Zircon,” she tried. “You ever feel like all of this--” --she gestured to Little Homeworld, spread out below them-- “--is too good to be true?”

“Oh stars,  _ yes," _ said Zircon. “That’s  _ exactly _ it. It’s such a relief to hear someone else say it.”

“I think a lot of us feel that way,” said Lapis. “I guess I’m a little surprised you do, though. I thought you were, you know…”

“Attached to Homeworld?”

“No offense.”

Zircon buried her face in her hands. “Oh stars, you think I’d be offended by that. That was my backup plan, you know. If things went south here, for some reason, I could just go back to Homeworld! Go back to Blue Diamond’s service, work on getting my old life back.” She looked up at Lapis suddenly. “Not that I was planning on doing that! Just if something went wrong. Not that I was assuming something would go wrong here! Oh, why am I telling you all this?”

“It’s okay! Relax.” said Lapis. So much for not getting involved. “So if that  _ was _ your backup plan, what’s your backup plan now?”

_ “I don’t have one!” _ said Zircon. “That’s the whole problem!”

Lapis couldn’t exactly judge Zircon for wanting to have a backup plan, considering she was the one who had taken the barn to the moon at the first hint of trouble. “So what was wrong with your original plan? Going back to Homeworld.”

“This is going to sound crazy,” said Zircon, “but I don’t think I  _ can." _

“Because Blue Diamond wouldn’t want you back?”

“No. Well, yes, maybe that. But that’s not what I’m talking about!” She looked forlornly at the Warp Pad below. “I was at Homeworld for a trial the other day. It went well, I won, that wasn’t even an issue, but I still felt like I wanted to get home as quickly as possible.” Her eyes widened. “You hear what I just said?  _ Home. _ I just called this place home! They warned me, but I didn’t listen.”

“Having the Earth as your home isn’t so bad,” said Lapis.

“But it’s like you just said -- too good to be true. Do you really think all of this can last?”

“You know,” said Lapis. “A Gem I know once gave me some good advice.”

“What’s that?”

“On Earth, nothing lasts forever, so you have to appreciate it while you can.”

Zircon was staring into the middle distance. “We’re all doomed, aren’t we?”

“That wasn’t really what I meant, but, probably, yeah.”

“Good to know,” said Zircon. “So what brings you up here, anyway?”

“Oh, nothing really,” said Lapis. “I wanted to talk to Peridot, but she’s busy, so I thought I’d just… come up here.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad we got a chance to talk. I’ve heard all about you from Peridot.”

“Oh no,” Lapis groaned.

“Good things! She thinks very highly of you.”

Lapis thought of a million self-deprecating remarks she could make, but decided to swallow them for once. The thought of Peridot talking about her that way made her feel warm and happy inside, and she could feel herself blushing. “That’s cool,” she said. “And you know, she seemed really happy to make friends with you.”

Zircon opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated, looking for words. “I feel like when Peridot decides someone’s going to be her friend, she will not let anything stop her until she’s achieved her goal.”

Lapis nodded vigorously. “That’s… a really good way of putting it.”

“Did she do that to you?” 

“Oh,  _ yes. _ You have  _ no idea." _ They both laughed.

“You’ll have to tell me that story sometime.” Zircon stood up. “I should probably be getting back to work. It was nice talking to you, Lapis Lazuli.”

“Just Lapis is fine,” she said. “See you around.”

* * *

_ now _

Lapis flew up Little Homeworld’s tallest building and peeked in one of the windows. She could see a blue Gem in there, surrounded by various holographic screens and staring at her phone with an expression of concern. She softly knocked on the glass.

Zircon startled and fumbled her phone, sending it skittering off her desk and onto the floor. “Stars, Lapis, don’t  _ do _ that,” she said, as she pressed a button to open the window.

“Sorry,” said Lapis, flying in and settling on the couch. “Can I hide in here for a while? It’s okay if you keep working.”

“That depends on what you’re hiding from.”

“Everyone.”

“Well, if I’m included in  _ everyone _ then you’re doing a terrible job of hiding.”

“You’re temporarily exempted.”

“Then I’m temporarily honored,” said Zircon. “Anything you wanted to talk about?”

“No,” said Lapis. “Well, maybe. Let me think about it.”

“Take as long as you need. I’ll be over here, working on this complete mess of a formal complaint.” Zircon rearranged her holographic screens and began typing something, muttering softly to herself. Lapis curled up on the couch and tried to calm herself down. 

She was in love with Peridot.

If she were being honest with herself for a change, she knew she had felt that way for a long, long time, probably even as far back as the barn. But it had been so easy to pretend that she cared about Peridot only as a friend. 

What would a relationship - a romantic relationship - even mean for them? Fusion? She wasn’t sure she could do that, even with Peridot. Spending time together? Cuddling? They already did that.

She didn’t know what it meant. She didn’t know what she wanted. Mostly she just wanted to curl up under a blanket with Peridot and keep her safe forever. That was probably love.

A frustrated groan that surprisingly didn’t come from Lapis. Zircon was rearranging all her windows, frantically typing something at top speed, glaring at her work as though it were slowly killing her, and rearranging her windows again.

Lapis’s eyes narrowed as she looked at her friend. Bismuth had her all figured out. What were the odds that Zircon, who prided herself on being perceptive, had missed it?

On the other hand, Bismuth liked to play matchmaker to everyone -- and, wow, now she knew why Bis had never tried to set her up with anyone. Zircon was all career, though. Probably.

“Hey, Zircs? Have you ever been in love?”

Zircon didn’t even look up. “Yes.”

That was not the response Lapis was expecting. “Really?”

“She was a prosecutor. One of the best. I was fresh out of kindergarten, probably less than five hundred. She was sharp as a drill. Dismantled me in court.” Zircon leaned back in her chair. “I went to her office and asked if she was interested in a relationship. She told me she wasn’t risking her career on a rock so fresh she was practically soft, and kicked me out. Next time we met, I ground her into dust. With my arguments,” she clarified.

“That is… the  _ least  _ romantic story I’ve ever heard.” 

_ “I  _ thought it was romantic.” Zircon suddenly snapped off all her screens, giving Lapis her full attention. “So. I’m assuming that question wasn’t random.”

Lapis groaned and hid behind her knees. “Oh stars, you definitely already know. Just put me out of my misery.”

“Tell me anyway.” 

“Fine, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.”

“This conversation is now 100% confidential.”

“And you have to promise not to judge.”

“Well, it’s technically impossible to hear a statement without immediately forming a judgement on it, but I’ll do my best.”

“And you have to promise not to do the cross-examination thing.”

“You’re asking an awful lot of me, you know that?”

_ “Zircs.” _

“Fine! Promised.”

Lapis steeled her nerves while Zircon waited semi-impatiently. She knew it was irrational, but some part of her felt like saying it out loud was a point of no return, even if Zircon legitimately  _ was _ good at keeping secrets.

“I think I’m in love with Peridot.”

“Oh, finally,” said Zircon, apparently relieved.

“How did everyone know this but me?!” said a flustered Lapis.

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Peridot knows,” said Zircon. “And I don’t see what the problem is! I’ve been pulling for you two ever since I recognized your inevitability.”

“Inevitability?” said Lapis. “But Peridot doesn’t even like me like that.” 

Zircon was giving her an are-you-serious glare. 

“Really, she doesn’t.” 

The glare deepened. 

“If she felt that way, wouldn’t she have said something?” 

Zircon stopped glaring and facepalmed. 

“...you really think she has feelings for me?”

“Well, don’t take my word for it, as according to you I have no sense of romance. But if I had to bet my gem, you know what side I’d be on.”

Lapis felt like she should be happy about that, but instead she felt even more twisted up inside. She flopped sideways onto the couch.

“When did all this start?” asked Zircon.

“I don’t know, a while ago? I don’t think I really realized it until today.”

“What made you realize it?”

“You said you wouldn’t do the cross examination thing!”

“I’m  _ not, _ but  _ fine. _ Look,” said Zircon, “I don’t understand why you’re taking this so badly! You love her. It’s highly probable she loves you. You’re already best friends. And as much as Peridot drives me up the wall sometimes, she’s a real Gem. You could do far worse for yourself.”

“I guess that’s the problem,” said Lapis. “I like what we have, and I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t even know what I really want!”

“Maybe you don’t have to decide that right now. Let yourself sit with your thoughts for a while and see if you can figure things out.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Also, the technical term for what you want is ‘inappropriate consorting outside of caste’. It’s not illegal anymore, of course. But I could pull up the list of things that used to count, maybe give you some ideas?”

“Zircs,  _ no," _ said Lapis, laughing.

Zircs had pulled up a screen and was scrolling through a long list in tiny type. “Hugging, dancing… I should warn you, you’ve already done most of these things.”

“Oh,  _ stars.”  _ Lapis buried her head in her hands.

“This is a fun list, I should hang onto this one just in case.”

“You know that dating would require you to leave the office.”

“I don’t see  _ anything _ here that requires leaving the office.” Zircon’s phone suddenly buzzed, and Lapis jumped a mile. “Relax, it’s just Connie. Aw, she finished the book I lent her! For a human, she sure is a smart little nugget. You know she can read Gemglyph now?” Zircon’s phone buzzed again. “Oh.  _ That’s _ Peridot.”

“Don’t tell her I’m here!”

“Of course, I’m not that dense.” Zircon typed out a message. “She says if she can’t find you, she wants me to watch  _ Special Vampire Unit  _ with her.”

“That’s perfect!” said Lapis. “You distract her and I’ll have some time to think!”

“That’s perfect except for the part where I  _ still have work to do." _

“I thought you said you were pulling for our inevitability!”

“I also want to get this complaint squared away sometime this era!”

“It’s just for… however long Peridot decides she wants to watch TV. And I’ll owe you one.”

Zircon pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine.”

“Oh come on, you seemed like you could use a break from work anyway.” 

“You still owe me one!” Zircon called after Lapis as she flew out the window.


	3. Peridot's Complicated Feelings

_ now _

“The ball bearings still aren’t moving,” said Dottie.

“No, they’re not,” said Peridot. The ball bearings had not been moving for the last thirty minutes. Nor had they moved last week, or the week before, or at any other time when Peridot had attempted to teach Dottie how to move metal with her mind. 

There had been no Peridots among the corrupted Gems freed from their bubbles and healed by the Diamonds. Pearl had explained that there had been very few in the Rebellion at all -- at most a handful had deserted their kindergartens. Peridot had bristled a bit as Pearl had implied that Peridots weren’t usually the type to rebel, even as she basically knew that to be true. The fact that none had showed up to Little Homeschool in the early days only reinforced that.

Little Homeworld needed more technical Gempower than a single, frequently distracted Peridot could provide, so Yellow Diamond had agreed that Steven should take some of the Peridots under her command from a nearby colony. He had only had success convincing two.

It quickly became clear why Dottie had agreed to an Earth transfer. She was a late Era 2 Gem, and her engineering abilities were suspect, to put it diplomatically. If she had been an Era 1 she would have likely suffered an unpleasant fate, but in the late days of the Empire with resources running low, they couldn’t afford to reject any Peridots. Instead, they put her in limb enhancers and supplied her with as much difficult-to-screw-up busywork as possible.

Peridot had long since run out of different ways she could try to explain metal powers to her, all to no avail. She was starting to wish Dottie would give up and stop cornering her for lessons every time she spotted her.

“What was that thing you were saying? About the hands? Picturing your hands?”

“You picture your hand reaching out and taking hold of the metal object, but  _ without actually moving your hand,” _ said Peridot, only half paying attention. She was in the middle of an interesting new project: a booth that would allow Gems to quickly and painlessly change their physical appearances. She had “borrowed” Spinel’s broken rejuvenator in the hopes of reverse-engineering it to power the booth. She just hoped Lapis wouldn’t find out. Lapis was not always the most understanding about her scientific impulses.

Dottie was holding out her hand towards the ball bearings with a sad look on her face, as the ball bearings stubbornly refused to move. Peridot internally debated the wisdom of just moving them herself to give Dottie a fake win, but that would probably result in Dottie not ever leaving her alone ever. “Dottie, I really think your limb enhancers might be interfering with your metal powers. I wasn’t able to do it until I lost mine. Have you ever considered removing them?”

“No!” said Dottie. They had had this conversation before too. “I can’t just trash the tech Homeworld gave me for my job!”

Peridot shrugged. “I did.” Not that she technically had a choice in the matter.

“Yes, but you’re really good at everything!” said Dottie brightly.

Peridot would have felt much more flattered about her assessment if she didn’t suspect that Dottie mistook basic competency for brilliance. As Dottie screwed up her face in concentration and tried again, Peridot tried to think of a way to extricate herself. Lapis had gone flying. Bismuth was teaching a class. Zircon wasn’t responding to her increasingly frantic text messages, as though working were somehow more important than saving her from an awkward social situation. 

Well, time to attempt tact.

“Dottie, look, I know you really want to have metal powers like me, but maybe you’re just not very good at it!”

“I’m not?” Dottie looked close to tears.

Right, that was why she didn’t usually attempt tact. Her sense of tact was severely miscalibrated.

“I mean -- I have a project I’m working on that I really want to get back to, so I can’t help you right now?”

“Oh,” said Dottie, still hurt. “What is it?”

She hadn’t been planning on telling anyone until she had a prototype, but Dottie automatically approved of any project she proposed, so why not? “It’s a booth Gems can use to change their physical appearance.”

“Wow!” she said, starry-eyed. “Does that mean you can change your appearance without poofing or shapeshifting?”

“Not exactly,” Peridot admitted. “I’m trying to reverse engineer this old rejuvenator to make the poofing part safe, but I haven’t been getting much in the way of results so far.”

“Well,  _ that _ definitely sounds safe,” said a sarcastic voice behind her.

2PK was the other Peridot Steven had convinced to work in Little Homeworld. No one quite understood why she came and why she stayed, considering she seemed to hate every aspect of it. Their best guess was that she had also hated every aspect of the colony she had come from, so residence on Earth was ultimately a sidegrade. 

“First, this is a private conversation. Second, it  _ will _ be safe when I’m done with it.”

“Right,” said 2PK. “Like all the other things you’ve designed. Anyway, I took care of the tickets that were on the service queue, so you’re welcome.”

“There weren’t any tickets in the service queue.” Peridot pulled out her phone and scrolled.

“They came in and were solved while you and Dottie were playing around. That’s fine, I was bored anyway.”

Peridot glared. She didn’t even  _ like _ working on menial support tickets. In fact, she hated it. But the one of the only things she hated more than menial support tickets was giving 2PK an excuse to be smug.

Before Peridot could respond, an Agate with a sour look on her face approached the group. She was obviously a Homeworld visitor, and not the fun kind who was excited to learn about the Earth. 

“Peridots,” she said, snapping her fingers. “My communications device keeps dropping messages. I require immediate service.”

There was perhaps one thing in the entire galaxy that Peridot and 2PK could agree on, and that was putting excessively snooty Homeworld Gems in their place. “File a ticket,” they said in unison.

“I’ll help!” said Dottie, but the Agate didn’t hear her as she turned on the other two.

“Excuse me? A ticket?”

“There are kiosks around Little Homeworld that allow you to file a support ticket,” Peridot explained. “File a ticket about your problem, and it will be triaged and addressed according to our process.”

“Oh, is  _ that _ how you do things here?” said the Agate disdainfully. “Strange, because I believe I said that my problem was urgent and I see three Peridots here not doing much of anything.”

“We have a process,” said Peridot, temper rising. “If you’re somehow  _ incapable _ of following the process, I’m sure one of our residents could help step you through it.”

The Agate stepped nearer Peridot, looming over her. “Do you  _ also _ have a process for reporting a Gem to their supervisor?”

2PK snorted. 

“Sure, would you like to speak to the Chief Technician?” said Peridot, perpetually unable to help herself.

“Yes, I would.”

“It’s me, you clod!” said Peridot, gleefully.

The Agate scowled. “Seriously?”

“Peridot, aren’t we’re supposed to be polite to Homeworld visitors?” said Dottie, nervously.

“Yes, I’m sorry. The Chief Technician is me, valued Homeworld visitor. So please, make your complaint about me to me.”

The Agate rolled her eyes. “You realize I could  _ also _ file a formal complaint through the court system?”

“Oh no, please don’t do that,” said Peridot, attempting to fake fear. Inwardly, she was imagining Zircon’s face lighting up at being handed such an obviously spurious complaint to defend against.

“Perhaps I will,” said the Agate, regaining her smug look. “In the meantime, I require immediate assistance with my communications device.”

“File a ticket,” said Peridot.

The Agate turned and stormed off.

2PK slow clapped. “I have to admit, that was well done.”

“Too bad she probably won’t even bother with the complaint.” Peridot shrugged. “Anyway, I’ve got stuff to do. See you guys later.”

“What about her urgent ticket?” said Dottie.

“What urgent ticket?” said Peridot, walking away.

“I’m on break,” said 2PK.

“Aw, come on, you guys,” Dottie was saying.

Peridot ignored her and walked to the greenhouse, descending down the elevator to her secret lair. Lapis wasn’t there -- she was probably still out flying. With Lapis gone and her friends busy, she might as well spend some time working on her new project. 

She pulled the broken rejuvenator from below a pile of junk and hooked it up to her tablet. She  _ really _ wanted to get this to work. She hadn’t had a real victory with any of her projects in months. Her idea could let Era 2 Gems that can’t shapeshift easily change their appearance, maybe even let the corrupted Gems remove their horns and spots. She knew a lot of them had memories of their time while corrupted, and weren’t happy about the permanent reminders on their bodies.

The clothing booth was really only the beginning, though. Based on her initial analysis of the rejuvenator, she realized that it was temporarily rewiring the internal crystal structure of a Gem. It worked in a primitive way, crudely separating connections between a Gem’s core mind and memories, in a way that could thankfully be reversed -- but the technology to create, destroy, or alter a Gem’s crystal structure was extremely interesting. She could use the technology for good, allowing a Gem to learn a new skill instantly, for example.

There was one major problem with her project, which was that Lapis didn’t like her working with dangerous technology. Unfortunately, that was pretty much all of the technology Peridot was interested in. 

She did  _ try _ to understand. She knew that Lapis had suffered a lot, and was determined to keep her friends safe. But just for once, she wanted to make some amazing engineering breakthrough, and have Lapis smile and be excited. She wanted Lapis to take her in her arms and praise her for being brilliant and really, truly  _ appreciate _ what Peridot was trying to accomplish.

Instead, her reaction to basically any of Peridot’s new projects was the same: an immediate skepticism coupled with a list of all the ways it could go wrong.

She cared about Lapis, and she knew Lapis cared about her, but when she acted that way about Peridot’s engineering instincts, it kind of felt like Lapis was rejecting a fundamental part of what made Peridot herself. 

That was something she could probably live with if they were just friends. The fundamental issue here was all of the confusing, complicated feelings that Peridot had that she was trying to ignore, with increased desperation. Having Lapis as a friend was  _ perfect. _ Being in love with Lapis was a  _ problem, _ no matter how many times Zircs tried to convince her that it wasn’t.

She was an engineer. She solved problems. It was just significantly harder when she couldn’t decide on the ideal end result.

* * *

_ before the Little Homeworld Dedication Ball _

“I’m not dancing,” said Lapis. 

It was less than a week since Little Homeworld had officially been finished, and Steven had called the crew to the beach house to invite them to the Little Homeworld Dedication Ball. It was to be held in Homeworld proper, and Steven was taking his primary group as well as the Off Colors and a roundup of volunteer Earth Gems. The idea was to do some outreach and allow Homeworld Gems to mingle with Earth-based Gems.

Peridots were one of the lower types of Gem in Era 2 society, and were only allowed in the palace if maintenance was required. Peridot herself had never been, having spent the majority of her career working in kindergartens, with the occasional foray into spaceship repair. Even the Peridots who worked in the palace would never have been allowed anywhere near a ball in progress.

Lapis, on the other hand, had been an elite Gem in Blue Diamond’s court, expected to show herself at every major social event.

“You don’t have to dance,” said Steven.

“Are you sure? That’s what usually happens at these balls. Everyone presents themselves--” --she somehow managed to curtsy sarcastically, to demonstrate-- “--and then we all line up according to type, and then all the Lapises do a little dance for Blue Diamond’s amusement.”

“Well, this isn’t going to be anything like that. Promise.”

“Well, I’ll dance!” said Bismuth. “I’ve never been to one of these stuffy little parties. I’ll dance so hard those former elites won’t even know what they’re looking at.”

Peridot laughed. “Yeah, me too! I’m probably one of the first Peridots to attend a ball, ever. Gotta make a good first impression!”

“Or at least a memorable one,” said Bismuth, clapping her on the back and nearly bowling her over.

“Well, you two have fun, because I’m with Lapis on this one,” said Zircon. “I haven’t perfected my skills of standing by the wall and avoiding awkward small talk for nothing.”

“You’ve been to one of these?” asked Bismuth.

“Professional mixers. Mostly non-elites. No dancing.”

“Okay, now I kind of want to see Zircs try to dance,” said Lapis.

“You just said that you’re not dancing either!”

“Is that what it would take?”

“Oh, no, this is not up for debate.”

“No one has to dance,” Steven interjected. “All I’m going to do is give a little speech, present the main architects of Little Homeworld -- that’s Bismuth and Peridot -- and then anyone who wants to can dance, and the rest of us can socialize. Or I guess Zircs can stand by the wall.”

“Thank you, Steven, you won’t be disappointed in my talents,” Zircon said.

“I’m going to be  _ presented?” _ Peridot beamed with pride.

“Are you comfortable with that?” asked Steven.

Peridot practically had stars in her eyes. Imagine a formerly lowly  _ Peridot,  _ now an official member of a Diamond’s court, being presented for her accomplishments at a fancy Homeworld ball! She knew those distinctions didn’t technically matter anymore in Era 3, but sometimes it was hard to entirely shake the version of herself who had once stood in a kindergarten daydreaming about being an elite.

“Uh, Peridot? If you’re not comfortable with that, I can leave you out of the presentation.”

Steven’s words brought her back to reality. “Of course I’m comfortable with that! I can’t wait to see the looks on those Homeworld Gems’ faces!”

Steven laughed. “Okay. Just remember, we’re here for outreach, so if we run into any, y’know, Gems with  _ outdated _ ideas, let’s all try to be patient and make it a teachable moment. Okay?”

“Of course, Steven!” said Peridot. “I’m as patient as it gets.”

“I’ll keep an eye on her,” said Lapis.

“Thanks, Lapis,” said Steven.

“Hey!”

* * *

_ now _

  
“So that didn’t go well.”

Peridot was in Bismuth’s forge, helping her make rivets. She found the process relaxing, especially since she could easily levitate the bits of metal with her mind. 

“Well, did you really expect it to?” said Bismuth, melting another batch of metal. “You’re experimenting with an extremely dangerous, banned Gem weapon. Of course Lapis isn’t happy about that.”

“I  _ know," _ said Peridot. She dropped a batch of rivets into a bucket with a satisfying  _ clunk. _ “I just think there should be some middle ground!”

“I’m not sure there’s much middle ground when it comes to not experimenting with dangerous, banned Gem weapons.”

“I thought maybe you’d understand, Bis,” said Peridot, eyes sweeping over the impressive collection of swords hung on the wall. “You love making weapons.”

“I think you know there’s a big difference between forging swords and playing around with unstable tech. A sword is always just a sword. It isn’t going to suddenly explode, or wipe my memory, or any of the other things a rejuvenator core might do.”

Peridot huffed. “I bet I could make an exploding sword if I wanted to.”

“Oh, I bet you could,” said Bismuth. “But please don’t do it in here.” She poured metal into rivet blanks. “What I don’t understand is why you’re interested in dangerous things like that. War’s over. At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“It’s technological progression, Bis!” said Peridot, gesturing emphatically and almost knocking over the bucket of rivets. “The march of progress isn’t built on worrying about whether things are  _ safe _ or  _ make sense.” _

“Well, I don’t think Lapis sees it that way. She’s just trying to protect you, you know?”

“Well, maybe I don’t  _ want _ to be protected!” Frustration poured out of Peridot. “I mean, I do,  _ kind of. _ I like knowing that she’d protect me against anyone trying to hurt me. What I  _ don’t _ like is her constantly trying to protect me from myself!” 

Peridot dumped another batch of rivets into the bucket with enough force to tip the bucket over, just barely catching the rivets in midair with her mind before they could scatter all over the forge.

“Careful, Peri,” said Bismuth. “It sounds to me like you’re worried Lapis doesn’t trust you.”

“Well, she doesn’t!” Peridot pointed out. “Making me shut down my experiments because she thinks they’re unsafe is the opposite of trust.”

“Maybe she just doesn’t understand them.”

“No, she doesn’t. I wish she did.” Peridot pulled a bunch of rivets out of the bucket with her mind and made them lazily dance in midair. “I just want to do something great, Bis. You get that, right?”

“But you have done something great. We both did. We built Little Homeworld!”

"It’s not enough. Maybe it should be, but it isn’t.” The rivets swirled above Peridot’s head. “I want to do something no other Peridot could do. Something that proves I’m not just here because I happened to be assigned to the Cluster mission. Something really useful for Gemkind, not just custom phone apps and moving metal around.”

Bismuth looked at her sympathetically. “You know you don’t have to prove anything to us, right? We care about you anyway.”

“I know. And I appreciate it. This is for me.”

“Well, maybe you should tell Lapis that. She might understand more than you think.”

“You’re probably right,” said Peridot, dropping each rivet back into the bucket one by one.

“What are you waiting for? Find her and tell her.” Bismuth could always be counted on to be straightforward. Today, she seemed to have a gleam in her eye that Peridot couldn’t quite place.

Peridot acquiesced and pulled out her phone, texting Lapis. No answer. She often forget her phone or failed to notice messages, so that wasn’t too surprising.

She flipped over to another text window. Zircon had never responded earlier. She might actually know where Lapis was, though.

**PERI5XG:** ZIRCS

**PERI5XG:** ARE YOU STILL BEING BORING

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I thought we had previously established that I am incapable of not being boring.

**PERI5XG:** OH GOOD YOU’RE THERE

**PERI5XG:** WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDED RESCUING FROM AN AWKWARD CONVERSATION WITH DOTTIE

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Working.

**PERI5XG:** WHATEVER

**PERI5XG:** HAVE YOU SEEN LAPIS

**CourtLawyerZircon:** No.

**PERI5XG:** ARE YOU SURE

**CourtLawyerZircon:** In what timeframe?

**PERI5XG:** THE LAST COUPLE OF HOURS

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Then, still no.

Peridot wrote “OKAY, THANKS” and hovered over the send button, realizing she now had two options.

Option one: Continue looking for Lapis and having that potentially awkward conversation about feelings that Bismuth wanted her to have.

Option two: Convince Zircs to hang out, stall having that conversation, and get a second opinion on her complicated feelings.

An easy decision, put in those terms.

**PERI5XG:** COME WATCH VAMPIRE LAWYERS WITH ME

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I have work to do.

**PERI5XG:** I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE WORKING BEFORE!

**CourtLawyerZircon:** It may surprise you to know that there is still more work to do.

**PERI5XG:** OVERRULED

**PERI5XG:** SEE, LAWYER SPEAK. I GOT YOUR NUMBER.

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Fine.

**PERI5XG:** WOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED

**CourtLawyerZircon:** I’m as surprised as you are!

Peridot looked up from her phone. “Bis, I’ll see you later.”

“Are you going to talk to Lapis?”

“No, but I’m going to talk… to someone who is…  _ not _ Lapis.”

Bismuth narrowed her eyes. “Are you getting Zircs to hang out with you so you can avoid Lapis?”

“No!” said Peridot. “Well… yes. Pretty much exactly that.”

“Well, don’t put it off too long, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

* * *

_ at the Little Homeworld Dedication Ball _

The party was in full swing, and Peridot was having the time of her life -- dancing, admiring the palace architecture, minging both with acquaintances from back on Earth and the many curious Homeworld Gems attending the ball. 

Steven had announced her as the Chief Technician of Little Homeworld to thunderous applause, and Peridot had never been more proud. As a result, everyone in the crowd knew who she was and was approaching her for congratulations. She had lost track of her friends at some point, but she was having fun and she was sure they must be too.

She was chatting with a Nephrite who had also never been to a palace ball. 

“So what kind of power source are you using for Little Homeworld?” 

“Well, we have a bank of six solar cores buried underneath each quadrant, with a few additional--”

“Oh, look, it’s  _ that _ Peridot! The one from up on the stage, right?”

A group of three Jades were addressing her. Something about the looks on their faces made Peridot uneasy. She turned to the Nephrite, but she had disappeared into the crowd somewhere.

“Yes, I am that Peridot! Did you have questions about Little Homeworld?”

The three turned to each other and giggled. “Yes!” said the one in the middle, with sincerity that seemed fake. “It’s soooo impressive that a Peridot gets to be the Chief Technician of an entire colony! How’d you get that position?”

“Steven gave it to me.”

“Ohhhh, so your Diamond just gave you the position? I would think you must have some kind of amazing talent, right?”

“Well,” said Peridot, shifting from foot to foot, “I’m a natural born technician, and I can move metal with my mind--”

“Oh, metal with your mind,” said the Jade on the left. “Does that help you build a colony?”

“It… can,” said Peridot, with increasing dislike of where this conversation was headed.

"Why don’t you wear limb enhancers?” said the Jade on the right.

“She’s so cute without them! I never realized a Peridot could be cute like this!”

“I am not cute!” Peridot protested, but was ignored.

“I know, now I kind of want to take one of the Peridots from our colony, remove her limb enhancers, and make her into a little pet like this one.”

“Oh, like a Pearl, except she can fix things for you?”

“Like a Pearl--!” sputtered Peridot.

“This one’s even customized like a Pearl! Look at her darling little visor.” The Jade on the right reached down to touch Peridot’s visor.

Peridot smacked her hand away. “Don’t touch that! You clods have another thing coming if you think you can treat Peridots like--” She almost said, “like Pearls,” before catching herself and remembering that that was no better. “--like they’re your personal property!”

The Jade in the middle scoffed. “You don’t even know the Peridots in our colony. I bet they’d jump at the chance to follow around an elite instead of fix spaceships all day. Isn’t that what you did?”

“I-- I didn’t! That is  _ not _ what I did! There were-- circumstances!” She was in no condition to explain what had happened with the Crystal Gems and the Cluster, especially not to three annoying Jades in the middle of the party, and especially not when she was rendered nearly incoherent with rage.

“Did you know that forcing another Gem to act as your personal property is a violation of Edict 189.12 in Era 3 Code 17?” said Zircon, suddenly appearing next to her.

All three Jades groaned. “Did  _ you _ know you’re a killjoy?” said the one in the middle.

“You know what’s always been a real bad look? A Zircon who gets invited to an event with elites and starts thinking she’s an elite herself.”

All three Jades laughed. “Oh noooo, I’ve seen that happen before! So embarrassing!” said the Jade on the left.

_ "You _ know what’s always been a real bad look?” said Zircon, quickly losing her composure, “Your -- face! Your face has always been a real bad look!”

Peridot facepalmed.

“So does it bother you that you’re apparently below this Peridot in the organization chart?” said the Jade on the right.

“Now listen here!” Zircon was fired up now. “Maybe you missed the memo, but it’s Era 3 and there is no more  _ organization chart _ or  _ elite Gems--” _

The Jade in the middle had stopped laughing and was starting to get seriously annoyed. “Yeah, and I bet pebbles like you  _ love _ that, don’t you? Don’t have to have talent, don’t have to have a half-decent Gem in your body, just have to get handed some new title by your Diamond.”

“Are you bothering my friends?” Lapis touched down in between the Jades and where Peridot and Zircon were standing.

“A Lapis Lazuli? Seriously?” said the Jade on the left.

“Oh,  _ this _ is why they can talk like that, isn’t it? They know they have a Lapis Lazuli for protection.” 

“That’s right, they do,” said Lapis. “And don’t think that just because this is a party I won’t slap you right out of the palace for disrespecting my friends.”

Two of the Jades looked nervous and started to slink away, but the one in the middle was too agitated. “Why? Why protect Gems like this? We used to be elite, doesn’t that bother you?”

“No,” said Lapis. 

Peridot could see her tremble slightly with anger. “Lapis…”

“Oh, I get it,” said the Jade. “Which one of these is your girlfriend, then?”

Peridot’s thought processes suddenly hitched up.

“Neither!” said Lapis.

Peridot tried to hide the disappointment she suddenly felt. For a second, she had really wanted Lapis to say… 

Zircon was looking at her with a curious expression. Oh stars, did she notice something?

“I don’t blame you, though,” said the Jade. “Now that the inter-Gem relationship laws are gone, I’ve been thinking of picking up some lower Gems for myself, too.”

Lapis’s water wings snapped open.

The Jade just laughed. “You’re gonna fight me at a ball? Really, Lazuli?”

“Lapis, don’t!” Peridot got in between Lapis and the Jade. “An enormous clod like this isn’t worth it.”

Lapis took a deep breath. “You’re right,” she said, putting her wings away again. “She’s not worth spoiling Steven’s big party over.” 

She turned and started to walk away, Peridot and Zircon following. The Jade muttered something under her breath that Peridot couldn’t catch, which was for the best.

“Your face?” asked Peridot. “Really?”

“I was flustered!” said Zircon.

“I thought you were supposed to be good at arguments.”

“In the courthouse! This is a party! There’s a reason I usually stand by the wall!”

“Standing by the wall is starting to sound good to me too.” That exchange had taken all of Peridot’s energy. Not to mention the confused tangle of feelings that she’d really rather push aside.

“So, did I see…?” said Zircon quietly, so Lapis, ahead of them, couldn’t hear.

“No.”

“Disappointment, maybe?”

“No!”

“That’s fine, we can table this line of questioning until after the ball.”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.”

“Not a credible threat. Dismissed.”

Peridot just groaned.

* * *

_ now _

“So then the Agate said, ‘I demand to speak to your manager!’”

“So she walked right into it.”

“I was like, ‘it’s me, you clod!’ Nyehehehe. You should have seen the look on her face. But it gets better -- then she’s like, ‘I’ll file a formal complaint through the court!’ And I’m like, ‘oh nooooo, don’t do that!’”

“Oh,  _ please _ tell me she’s going to.”

“What if she does, though? Where will I find a good defense Zircon?”

“Peri, if you hand an easy win like that to anyone other than me, then we are  _ not _ friends anymore.”

“I know better than to deny you an opportunity to pad your win ratio.”

“Indeed.”

Peridot and Zircon were on the couch in the “secret” underground lair. Some mediocre fourth season episode of  _ Special Vampire Unit _ was on in the background, but it was currently being ignored.

“Seems like you had a pretty good day,” said Zircon.

“Mmm,” said Peridot, as her fight with Lapis bubbled back up to the forefront of her mind. 

“Something on your mind?”

Peridot  _ had _ told herself she was getting a second opinion, and Zircs already knew about her problem, so… “I’m having complicated feelings again.”

Zircon immediately sat up straighter. “Oh,  _ this _ is happening.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, it’s just been a long day. Should I pull up the pros and cons chart we were working on re: having feelings for Lapis?”

“No! Well, maybe later. Lapis and I had an argument earlier. She doesn’t want me working on technology that could be dangerous.”

“How dangerous are we talking?”

“I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Is the dangerous technology in question currently in the basement with us?”

“Yes,” said Peridot. “I mean, it’s not currently dangerous. It’s  _ fine." _

Zircon’s hands were fidgeting nervously. “What’s the approximate likelihood of severe injury associated with the technology in question?”

“Low! Are you listening or not?”

“I’m listening! Proceed.”

Peridot collected her thoughts as best as she could. “I want to make Lapis happy. I really, really do. But she gets upset whenever I’m working on a project that’s dangerous. I want her to trust me. I want her to feel confident that I can do things right. I’m worried that, if I want to make her happy, I’m going to have to give up the projects I really care about. I said I wouldn’t do that again -- give up things that make me happy. Does that make sense?”

Zircon nodded thoughtfully. “It certainly does. You want Lapis to be happy, but you want her to be happy with  _ you,  _ not an artificially curated version of you. While I don’t share your enthusiasm for work that carries the risk of shattering--”

“Says the Gem who accused a Diamond of murder.”

_ “As I was saying, _ if I felt like I had to give up my career for someone I cared about, I don’t think I could do it. It’s too fundamental a part of myself.”

“Exactly!” said Peridot. “So you get where I’m coming from!”

“Well, I don’t think Lapis really wants you to give up technology. Look, you’ve known Lapis since you’ve been on Earth, right? She knows you better than anyone.”

“Basically.”

“She knows you’d be miserable if you gave up your passion, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Logically, you should simply tell her what you told me.”

“Ugh, that’s what Bis said.”

“Well, Bis was correct, then! And you know what else you should tell her?”

Peridot buried her head in her knees. “Oh no, don’t say it.”

“You should tell her...”

“Don’t say it out loud!”

“You should tell her you love her.”

“My feelings are  _ complicated, _ Zircs!”

Zircon nodded. “Yes, complicated because you love her.”

“I don’t  _ know _ if I love her or not. I don’t even know how I can tell if I love her.”

“I feel like if you  _ didn’t _ love her, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”

“It’s not that simple!” said Peridot. “I wish I could know how she feels about me. She hasn’t said anything to you, has she?”

“Lapis? Of course not. She is a tough Gem to crack.”

Peridot let out a frustrated moan and curled up into a ball. “Let’s say for the sake of argument that… the thing you keep saying out loud is true. What does that even  _ mean? _ What do I even  _ want?” _

Zircon shrugged. “I don’t know why you’re asking me, I’ve been told I have no sense of romance.”

“By who?”

“By you. When we watched the wedding at the end of the third season of  _ Special Vampire Unit.” _

“Oh, right.” 

“For the record, I thought that was very unfair, considering I didn’t even know what a wedding was.”

Peridot uncurled and listlessly sprawled on the couch, occupying every inch of space that Zircon wasn’t using. “It reminded me a lot of Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding. You weren’t here for that. Neither was Lapis, actually. Relationships were something I never thought about for thousands of years of my life, and then, here I am at this wedding. Like, what even  _ is _ a wedding, right? Ruby and Sapphire looked so happy, and then they fused, and  _ Garnet _ looked so happy… When I got to Earth, I didn’t even understand why any Gem would want to fuse. But there I was, and all I could think was…”

“Was what?”

“I kind of wish that were me?”

“Getting married or fusing?”

“Any of it? Being happy? Being happy in a very specific way I don’t fully comprehend?” Peridot buried her hands in her hair. “And then, you know, the Diamonds attacked us and we all nearly died.”

“That’s not part of the romance, I hope.”

“It was kind of romantic when Lapis dropped the barn on Blue Diamond to save us.”

“Are you  _ sure _ that I’m the one who doesn’t understand romance here?”

“Sometimes I think I don’t understand  _ anything, _ Zircs!” Peridot threw up her hands in frustration. “Do  _ you _ ever feel like you have no idea what you’re doing?”

Zircon nodded emphatically. “Every second of every day.”

“I didn’t used to feel this way. I mean, back when I was working kindergartens, I thought I knew everything about everything.”

“I never felt that way.”

“What, really? You were supposed to.”

Zircon raised an eyebrow. “What does  _ that _ mean?”

“I bet your crystalline structure is slightly too open-ended, you probably needed to be adjusted--”

“No, no no no, you are  _ not _ diagnosing what went wrong with me in the kindergarten. We are going back to the previous awkward conversation right this minute.”

“Okay, okay!” said Peridot. She sat there, staring at the TV without watching it, gears turning in her head.

How could she tell Lapis how she felt but stay true to herself?

“You know what I should do, Zircs?”

Zircon fidgeted with her monocle. “Oh stars, those are some risky words.”

“I should make something for Lapis! Something that shows her I really care.”

“Or you could just talk to her.”

“Like some sort of custom drone that helps her make morps!”

_ “Or you could just talk to her.” _

“Or a state-of-the-art morps studio just for her!”

“That’s a slightly better idea, but you still should just talk to her.”

“This is  _ perfect! _ I’ll get Bis to help with the plans. You can help too.”

Zircon facepalmed. “Good thing I don’t have any work that I need to get done.”

Peridot grinned. “That isn’t a no!”

“Because I know you’re going to rope me into this anyway. I  _ do _ have basic pattern recognition.”

Peridot barely heard her response. She was too busy pulling over her whiteboard and drawing up initial plans for her  _ best idea ever. _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not normally in the habit of inventing friendships between characters who have never met canonically, but I couldn't resist Anxious Disaster Friends, so here goes!


	4. Bismuth's New Crystal Gems

_ at the beginning of Era 3 _

“Bismuth!” Peridot came barreling into the forge at top speed. “I need to talk to you!”

After a few weeks of working with Peridot, Bismuth had gotten used to this. “Sure, Peridot, what’s up?”

“I need to make a change to the Little Homeworld plans! I just got the  _ best idea.” _

Peridot spotted the master blueprint sitting on a nearby counter and began to frantically make changes to it. This had been a common enough occurrence that Bismuth had started keeping a backup copy of the plans, just in case she needed to revert some of Peridot’s more ill-advised proposals. She  _ could _ just keep the plans digitally, but she had always preferred paper, since coming to Earth. It felt solid, final.

Bismuth watched Peridot’s near-maniacal glee with amusement. She had taken a liking to the little technician ever since they had met a month ago. Steven had explained her whole story -- how she had defected from Homeworld a few years back to save her own skin, then had joined the Crystal Gems in earnest. Normally, this would have made Bismuth wary, but Steven trusted Peridot, and any Gem so willing to be flung in the face of a Diamond deserved the benefit of the doubt. Her pure, genuine enthusiasm when it came to building Little Homeworld was infectious, too. Enough so that Bismuth could put up with her making alterations to the plans on a near-constant basis.

“Check this out, Bis!” she said, holding up her handiwork. “If I move the Q2 bank of solar cores just slightly, I have room for a secret lair under the greenhouse!”

“A secret lair, huh?” said Bismuth, laughing. “Not much of a secret if you’re just going to tell me about it.”

Peridot looked almost hurt. “You’re my friend, aren’t you? That’s who it’s for -- for me and my friends to hang out! You’re definitely invited.”

“Of course we’re friends!” said Bismuth. “I’m honored to be invited to your secret lair.”

“Great!” said Peridot. “I’ve been thinking, when the Homeworld Gems start showing up, maybe I can show them all the cool things that are on Earth! TV, gardening, video games…”

Bismuth was privately skeptical about how many Homeworld Gems were going to be on board with learning about Earth culture. Still, there were bound to be a few. Peridot herself was a great example. Talking to her, you would have no idea that she had only been on Earth for a few years. 

“I’m sure you will, Peri.”

“The new Crystal Gems seem nice, too! Or I guess they’re old Crystal Gems. You knew them before, right?”

“Mmhmm,” Bismuth nodded. The time, for her, between her unbubbling and her friends being uncorrupted had been so short, she had barely had time to process that they had ever been gone. Still, the new horns and other features served as a constant reminder of their fate, and some of them still bore flashes of unpleasant memories from that time.

She hadn’t told them what had happened with Rose. She hadn’t told them what had happened with Steven. They hadn’t asked, just taking it at face value that Rose had bubbled her away to protect her, and that’s why she bore no corruption scars. 

The way they spoke of Rose was difficult for her to hear. She didn’t want to shatter their illusions. She didn’t want to know what they would think of her if they knew. 

It was dishonest, and she knew it.

Sometimes, it was easier to talk to Peridot.

Peridot suddenly looked a bit downcast. “They talk about the Rebellion, and Rose Quartz, a lot. I wish I could’ve been there to see all that. I wasn’t even born then!”

“It is too bad you weren’t with us then,” said Bismuth. “You would’ve been a great rebel.”

“Really?” said Peridot, immediately lighting back up.

“Oh, most definitely. I saw how you fought the Diamonds. We could’ve teamed up, fighting Homeworld Gems. I could’ve made a bunch of metal spikes for you to fling around. It would’ve been great.”

Peridot had enormous stars in her eyes. “That would’ve been  _ amazing!” _

Bismuth was happy to cheer her up. “Don’t worry too much about those old veterans talking about the war. Remember, it’s still pretty fresh to them. Once we start building Little Homeworld, it’s all anyone’s going to want to talk about.”

“Right,” said Peridot, with a determined air. “We’d better get started, then!”

“Just as long as  _ someone _ stops pulling the rug out from under my plans.”

Peridot blushed and laughed. “This secret lair is the last one, promise!”

* * *

_ six months into construction of Little Homeworld _

Bismuth furrowed her brow as she looked over what seemed like the thousandth revision of the Little Homeworld master plan. The Crystal Gems had been working around the clock on construction and they were still less than halfway done. Of course, that had less to do with the amount of work they were putting in and more to do with the fact that the size and scope of the community kept expanding. It certainly didn’t help that whenever Steven made a suggestion for a new building or an improvement, everyone within earshot immediately decided it should be a reality. She loved the kid, but he wreaked havoc on having anything like a plan or schedule. And Peridot was perhaps even worse, sometimes making dozens of revisions in a day.

The door creaked open softly, and Lapis Lazuli entered the forge, hoisting herself on a workbench. 

“Hey, Lapis,” said Bismuth, grateful to have a good excuse for taking a break.

“Hey, Bis,” she said, smiling. She was looking a lot better these days, especially after finally making up with Peridot. There was still tiredness in her eyes and a wary barrier in her voice, but she looked far more relaxed and happy than she had when Lapis and Bismuth had first met. Little Homeworld and the presence of friends seemed to be doing her a lot of good.

“What brings you here?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just thought I’d stop by, see how things were going. Are those the Little Homeworld plans?”

“‘Plans’ may be a strong word, Lapis. I swear they keep changing every day. It’s enough to make a Gem pull her hair out.”

Lapis laughed. “I don’t know what you expected. Steven and Peridot both have no concept of…” She paused, searching for the words.

“Of not trying to build every idea that comes into their head.”

“Yes, that! Peri especially.”

“Can’t fault their enthusiasm,” said Bismuth. “And a lot of Peri’s ideas really have been good. I definitely couldn’t have come up with the solar core layout without her.” She rolled up the plan and stashed it on a nearby shelf, sitting on her anvil. “Since you’re here, wanna update our bets?”

“Oh my stars, Bis,” said Lapis, face lighting up. “Did you hear about--”

“That Citrine?” said Bismuth, laughing. “Oh yes, I heard.”

Bismuth and Lapis had discovered early on that they had something in common: a significant distrust of the new Gems coming in from Homeworld. Sure, plenty of them -- especially those from the lower castes -- had been decent Gems who were simply curious about the Earth. But there were a significant number of them who arrived with less than charitable motivations and a lack of respect for the new Era 3 rules. Formerly elite Gems who expected to be treated with unearned deference, know-it-all Gems who thought the Earthlings were just dying for their “expertise,” and most of all, Gems who just plain could not adjust to Earth conditions. 

Bismuth and Lapis had made it into a game, trying to predict which Gems would stay and which would bail. So far, they had had a solid track record, with only a few surprises.

“We didn’t even get to make a bet on the Citrine,” said Lapis. “She was gone in less than a day. Do you know what set her off?”

“Crazy Lace told me it was the smell.”

“Oh  _ please,” _ said Lapis. “I don’t get that, it mostly smells like the ocean here.”

“Not all Gems like the smell of the ocean, I guess.”

“Their loss. How about those new Ruby guards? They’re still here, right?”

“Yeah, they are. Not that that’s a hard prediction to make. Most of the Rubies love it here.” Bismuth paused, trying to recall all of the Homeworld Gems they had been keeping track of. “That Kyanite’s still here and seems to be adjusting fine, so we were probably right about her. Olivine’s still here. What’d you give her, a week?”

“Two weeks,” said Lapis. 

“Guess she’s only been here a couple of days, so there’s still time,” said Bismuth. “I’ve seen her a couple of times and she has this look on her face like--” Bismuth made an awful face, imitating the Olivine’s sour look. “If anything, I think two weeks was probably too generous.”

Lapis nodded. “That Tanzanite left yesterday, right?”

“Yup, we were right on the money about her. Good riddance.”

“The Zircon?”

Bismuth shrugged. “Still here. Didn’t you give her a day?”

“Yeah? She looked like she was going to spontaneously shatter when Steven introduced her.”

“Well, it’s been like three months now. Pretty sure that’s longer than a day. I think we have Peridot to blame for the blemish on our record.”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “She had to have someone to watch her awful vampire show with.”

“Eh, there are worse Gems. You know she signed up for my blown glass class?”

“Glass blowing? Really?”

“She’s awful at it,” said Bismuth. “Just terrible. She’s absolutely going to injure herself. But she tries really hard. I think she’s here to stay.”

“Huh. Would not have guessed that.” Lapis looked off into the distance, deep in thought.

“What are you thinking?” asked Bismuth.

Lapis shook her head. “I don’t like Peridot hanging around Homeworld Gems.”

“Afraid they’ll rub off on her? Because it might go the other way.”

“Not that,” said Lapis. “I remember how Peridots were treated on Homeworld. I mean, I remember how  _ I _ would have treated a Peridot before… everything. I was so wrong, but I’m not sure I would have seen that if I hadn’t met Peri. I don’t want any Gem treating her like she’s  _ less than. _ I just can’t trust the Gems fresh from Homeworld, you know?” Lapis stirred restlessly. “Peri was telling me the other day that she tried to greet an Aquamarine that was visiting from Homeworld, offered to show her around, and that little pebble  _ laughed in her face. _ If I had been there --” She mimed punching a Gem in the face.

“I hadn’t heard about that. I don’t blame you.” Bismuth chuckled to herself as she imagined Lapis punting a snooty Aquamarine into next week. “Peri’s a strong Gem, though. She can take care of herself. You should have a little more faith in her.”

“I know she’s a strong Gem,” said Lapis. “I just can’t stand the thought of her getting hurt.”

“If it helps, I have her back too. I see anyone disrespecting her --” Bismuth shapeshifted one hand into a hammer and the other into a blade.

Lapis laughed. “Steven might get mad if we poof too many Homeworld Gems, Bis.”

“We’ll just tell Steven it was to protect Peridot. He’ll understand.” Bismuth smiled and returned her hands to normal. “I doubt we’d ever have to do anything like that, though. These Homeworld Gems are soft. They don’t know Earth like we do. Slightest hint of a threat, and they’ll turn tail and run.”

“Not all of them,” said Lapis. “Weren’t we all Homeworld Gems at one point?”

“Been a long time for me,” said Bismuth.

“Yeah, it’s been a long time for me, too.” Lapis looked uncomfortable. “I guess I still thought of myself as a Homeworld Gem when I was in the mirror. Thought when I’d get out I’d maybe be able to return to my old life. But you know, I really couldn’t have. Not after what they did. No one there would have supported me the way Steven and Peridot did. So I was already pretty much an Earth Gem, I just didn’t know it.”

Bismuth nodded. “Supporting each other through hard times -- that’s what being a Crystal Gem is all about.”

“What, it’s not about mowing down Homeworld Gems who disrespect us?” Lapis teased.

“Oh, it can very much be both things, Lapis. Trust me.” They laughed.

* * *

_ now _

Bismuth opened the door to her forge to let the cool night air in, stepping outside. It was an absolutely gorgeous clear night with a bright full moon. Bismuth took in the sweep of the stars.

She could go among those stars if she wanted. She was free to go anywhere and do anything. And yet, she mostly stuck to her forge, to what she knew. Sometimes she felt like a fraud, telling other Gems to be free and follow their dreams.

The center of Little Homeworld was fairly quiet, with just a few Gems going about their business. Bismuth spotted Lapis sitting on the side of a nearby fountain, pensively looking up at the sky. 

“Hey, Lapis,” she said, walking up. “Mind if I join you?”

“Go ahead,” said Lapis.

“I haven’t seen you since you fled my forge in a hurry the other day.”

“Mmm.” Lapis scowled.

“So. Peridot.”

This prompted Lapis to throw her head back and groan. “Not so loud, Bis!”

“I didn’t say anything!” said Bis, trying not to laugh. “I just said the word ‘Peridot’!”

“You know what I mean!” said Lapis. “Who told you, anyway?”

“Your face,” said Bismuth. 

Lapis shook her head. “Fine. I can’t believe I’m so obvious. Anyway, did you just come here to tease me, or what?”

“Lapis, you know I’m not going to do that. Well, maybe a little bit.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving,” said Lapis, starting to get up.

“Aw, c’mon, I’m kidding. No teasing. Promise. Talk to me.”

Lapis huffed, but sat down again. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’ve been thinking about this for the past  _ two days _ and I still have no idea what I want. I’m hopeless, Bis.”

“Hm, you say you’ve been thinking the past two days and you have  _ no idea _ what you want? That seems a bit off to me. I can sit here and think of all kinds of things I want.” She leaned back on the fountain wall. “You know what I think? I think you can probably easily think of things you want. Your problem is that you don’t want to want them.”

“Well, I don’t!” said Lapis. “Why Peridot?”

“Why the Gem that you live with and spend all your time with and is your best friend? Is this a trick question or something?”

“More like, why the Gem who drives me completely insane, Bis?”

“Some of the best couples I know drive each other insane. Have you ever seen Ruby and Sapphire fight?”

“No,” said Lapis, not reassured. 

“Y’know, Lapis, maybe I’m a simple Gem, but I’ve always thought that if you want something you should just reach out and take it. You never know when your window of opportunity will close.”

“That’s  _ things _ , not  _ relationships. _ You can’t just reach out and take another Gem.”

“True. They have to want it too. But you might be surprised by what Peridot wants.”

Lapis didn’t seem the slightest bit reassured. In fact, her mood darkened. “I wouldn’t be.”

“What do you mean?” said Bismuth, confused.

“Nothing. It’s nothing.” 

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

Bismuth could tell she was having a hard time spitting something out. 

“It’s fusion. What if she wants to fuse?” said Lapis.

Bismuth wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it wasn’t that. “You don’t have to fuse to be together, you know.”

“I know that,” said Lapis. “But you know how Peridot is. She’s curious about everything. I know she’s curious about fusion.”

“Really? Like, she’s asked to fuse with you?”

“No, no, nothing like that! Just… questions. How it works and everything. I think she’d want to. But I can’t.”

“Lapis, Peri knows what you’ve been through. If you don’t ever want to, I think she’d understand that.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t  _ want _ to, I said I  _ can’t _ ,” said Lapis, firmly. “If I didn’t want to, it’d be a lot easier. I do want to. That’s the problem.” She curled into herself. “Malachite was a nightmare, but having someone that close to me, feeling that powerful… I’m an awful Gem.”

“You’re not an awful Gem, Lapis, I promise. I’ve fused before. I know what it’s like.”

“You have? I didn’t know that.”

“Back in the Rebellion, sometimes,” said Bismuth. “I fused with Pearl a couple times. Oh stars, did we  _ wreck house!” _

“Oh, wow, I bet,” said Lapis. “That’s not a Gem I’d want for my enemy.”

“That’s right,” said Bismuth. “I still remember the rush of power. The feeling of support and trust. I can see why you’d want that again.”

“Well, Jasper definitely didn’t supply support or trust. Peridot though…” She allowed herself a wistful smile.

“Well, if you’d actually want to fuse with Peridot, what’s the problem?”

“I was half of Malachite, Bis,” said Lapis. “It’s not like all her awful parts came from Jasper. They say a fusion heightens emotions you have in common with a Gem. The rage, the hate -- those came partially from me. I don’t want Peridot to feel that, ever. If I were tempted to fuse with her -- if I let things get out of control --”

Bismuth put a hand on her shoulder. “You wouldn’t do that.”

“How can you say that? How can you be sure?”

“Because I know you care enough about Peri to not do that to her. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be torturing yourself over just the idea.” She took her hand off Lapis and leaned back thoughtfully. “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think Peri would judge you for having felt rage and hate. Stars know I wouldn’t. I’ve let my rage get the best of me a few too many times to fault anyone else for it.”

“Maybe,” said Lapis, uncertainly. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t hurt her, but I don’t know. I wish I felt like I could trust myself.”

“You trust Peri, right?”

Lapis shook her head. “That’s the other problem, Bis. She’s still being secretive.”

“She’s still working with the rejuvenator core?”

“I don’t think it’s that, she hasn’t really been around the lair much. It must be something else. But she’s definitely hiding something.” She turned to Bismuth. “She hasn’t said anything to you, has she?”

“No,” said Bismuth. “Have you tried asking Zircs?”

“That won’t do any good. If Zircs knew, Peri would have probably sworn her to secrecy. Could you maybe try finding out for me?”

“I don’t know, Lapis. It’s not really my place to pry into Peri’s personal business.”

“I’m not saying you have to pry, I’m just saying that you could…” Lapis trailed off. “Okay, I’m asking if you could pry. Just a little! It could be something dangerous!”

“Tell you what. If the opportunity comes up, I’ll see if I can ask her about it.”

Bismuth’s phone buzzed, so she pulled it out of her pocket.

**PERI5XG:** HEY BIS

**PERI5XG:** I HAVE THIS AWESOME TOP SECRET PROJECT AND I NEED YOUR HELP

**PERI5XG:** HERE, I’M SENDING YOU MY COORDINATES

**PERI5XG:** DON’T TELL LAPIS

Bismuth looked at her phone. “Huh. That was easy.”

“Was that Peridot? Seriously?”

Bismuth shrugged. “What do you think? Should I go see that she’s not doing anything too dangerous?”

“Uh,  _ yes,” _ said Lapis. “What are you waiting for?”

* * *

The coordinates turned out to be in the middle of a forest not far from Little Homeworld. When Bismuth arrived, Peridot was standing in a clearing with a setup of portable screens and computers. Her little robonoids were crawling all over the place, projecting holograms and doing who knows what else. Zircon was sitting leaned up against a tree, surrounded by her screens and looking mildly perturbed.

“Hey, Peridot!” called Bismuth.

“Bis! You made it!” Peridot ran up to her, practically bouncing with enthusiasm. “This is a top secret project! You can’t tell  _ anyone, _ okay? Especially not Lapis. Promise?”

“I promise,” she said, remembering what Lapis had asked her to do. At least she could let Lapis know if this new project was something dangerous.

“All right, get ready!” she said, running back to her computer setup. “Check  _ this _ out,” she said, pushing a few buttons. The robonoids all suddenly stopped what they were doing, crawled into formation, and began projecting a hologram of an entire building in the clearing. It had large windows and skylights, a big open floor, and lots of little cabinets and storage space.

“It’s a morp studio!” Peridot declared proudly. “State of the art! I read online what humans prize for the places where they make ‘art,’ which is similar to morps, and I chose this location in the woods for maximum scenic potential. Oh, and they don’t show up in the hologram, but it’s going to have specialty maintenance droids just for cleaning up and putting away supplies! So, what do you think?”

“I think it’s great!” said Bismuth, honestly. Peridot swelled with pride. “But why not tell Lapis about this? Isn’t this her kind of thing?” she asked, already knowing the answer.

Peridot dropped her grin and put on a serious face. “Bismuth, there’s something of crucial importance I need to tell you.”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Peridot took a deep breath and cleared her throat. “It has come to my attention that I -- well --” Her resolve faltered slightly, but she recovered and charged ahead. “I have feelings for Lapis! Romantic feelings.”

Bismuth nodded. “That’s great, Peri! I’m glad you’re finally talking about it.”

Peridot’s face fell. “What, you’re not even surprised?!”

“I told you she wouldn’t be surprised,” Zircon chimed in.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be moral support!” said Peridot, accusingly.

“Is  _ that _ what I’m doing out here? You didn’t explain yourself very well when you kidnapped me from my office.”

“Does she ever?” asked Bismuth.

“No. No, she does not,” said Zircon.

“Well, I’m happy for you, Peri!” She clapped a hand on Peridot’s shoulder, nearly knocking her over. “You two have been Little Homeworld’s power couple since the beginning! It’ll be great to make that official.”

“Power couple, I like that!”

“That doesn’t explain why we’re out here building a studio, though.”

“Right,” said Peridot, “I’m going to build this morp studio for Lapis to show her how I feel about her. Pretty great idea, right? Will you help?”

“Well,” said Bismuth. “I love what I’ve seen of these plans so far. I definitely do want to help you build this.” 

Peridot grinned and opened her mouth to say something.

“But--” Bismuth continued, deflating Peridot. “You don’t really need to do all this to show Lapis how you feel. In fact, I think she’s getting kind of annoyed by secret projects. You could just talk to her about how you feel, and then we could all build the studio together.”

“Thank you!” said Zircon. “That’s what I was saying!”

“You guys just don’t get it!” Peridot threw her hands up in frustration. “Look, I’ve been doing a lot of research into Earth romance based on their TV programs. Talking doesn’t work! What you need to do is give the other person an extravagant gift, like a vehicle with a giant ribbon on the top!”

“A giant ribbon…?” asked Bismuth.

“Exactly! Hey, do you think we could put a giant ribbon on the morp studio?” 

Peridot was startled as her phone started to buzz. She pulled it out of her pocket and looked down at it in confusion. “Larimar’s saying there’s a Pearl she doesn’t recognize looking for me in the main square. Weird. Guess I’ll have to give her my coordinates.” She typed a message and put her phone away again. “What were we talking about?”

“You had just decided that you were going to go tell Lapis how you feel,” said Zircon.

“Right!” said Peridot, cheerfully. “Wait, no.” She glared at Zircon. “I remember. I was going to add a giant ribbon to the plans.”

“Hey, Zircs,” said Bismuth. “If I decided to pick Peridot up by the ankles and drag her to go talk to Lapis, how illegal would that be?”

“Ah, a little bit,” said Zircon. “I’d absolutely defend you in court, though.”

“C’mon, you guys,” said Peridot, in a huff. “You wanted me to work on a project that wasn’t dangerous. This is as non-dangerous as it gets! And it’s doing something nice for Lapis. Are you going to help me or not?”

“If you’re dead set on doing this, I’ll help you,” said Bismuth. “But when we’re done, you’re going to be honest with Lapis, right?”

“Of course!” said Peridot, perking back up again. “Emotional honesty is no problem! If there were a certification for emotional honesty, I’d have it!” 

Bismuth gave her a dubious look. “Uh-huh.”

“How about you, Zircs? Helping or not?”

“I’m in the middle of the woods, I might as well have come out here for a reason,” she said. “Is there something I can work on besides moral support?”

“Yeah, help us make a spreadsheet of the materials we’ll need,” said Peridot.

Zircon lit up and cracked her knuckles. “Neatly organized spreadsheets, my favorite.”

The three huddled around Peridot’s computer setup, starting to work up a materials list based on the proposed plans. They had only been working for around twenty minutes, when --

“Did you hear something?” said Zircon.

“No,” said Bismuth. 

The three Gems stayed quiet for a moment, and a second later Bismuth heard the noise too, like a muffled sob from not far away.

“Is someone crying?” asked Peridot.

“Hold on, I’ll go look,” said Bismuth. She walked in the direction of the sound, and it wasn’t long before she came upon an extremely distressed looking Green Pearl. Her hair was in a neat bob and she was wearing a blazer and a pencil skirt.

“Oh, a  _ Pearl,” _ said Bismuth. “You must be the one who was looking for Peridot, right?”

“Oh, thank the stars there’s another Gem out here! I thought I was lost!” She ran over to Bismuth, trembling. “I knew the Earth was full of organics, but I never in thousands of years imagined anything like  _ this…” _

“It’s all right,” said Bismuth. “I know it’s different from what you’re used to, but nothing out here is going to hurt you.”

The Pearl quavered and did not look the slightest bit convinced. “I just need to find --” She summoned a round screen from her gem and read from it. “Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG.”

“No problem. I can take you to her.” Bismuth held out her hand, and the Pearl clung to her gratefully. “What’s this about, anyway?”

“It’s an official missive. I need the recipient present to deliver it.”

“If you say so.”

They returned to the clearing, where Peridot and Zircon were deep in a discussion about arranging the storage space in the morp studio. “Hey, guys!” said Bismuth. “Look who I found!”

The two Gems turned around. “Uh…” said Zircon.

Green Pearl took a deep breath, cleared her throat, and marched up to Peridot. “Are you Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG?” she said.

“Yeah?” said Peridot.

The Pearl handed her the round screen. “You’ve been served.”

“Wait, what?!” said Peridot.

“A summons?” said Zircon.

“Under the new Era 3 rules you may represent yourself, enlist a Zircon to represent you, or be assigned a Zircon by the court,” she rattled off, clearly having said this disclaimer many times. “I, uh… guess you already have a Zircon, though?”

“I do,” said Peridot. “She does,” said Zircon, simultaneously.

Peridot looked over the screen. “It’s that Agate! The one I was telling you about!” She handed the screen to Zircon.

"Really.” Zircon adjusted her monocle and began rapidly paging through the summons. “This is… completely frivolous. This  _ might _ be a winning case under Era 2 rules, but now?”

“Does that mean we’re going to win?” asked Peridot.

“Well, I should hope so! I could win this with my gem cracked.” She frowned, lost in thought. “Why even bother filing something like this…?”

“Maybe because she’s a stupid clod?” Peridot shrugged. “If you’ve got a winning case handed to you on a platter, why overthink it?” 

Zircon raised an eyebrow.

“Never mind, remembered who I was talking to,” said Peridot.

Their conversation was interrupted by the Green Pearl suddenly shrieking her lungs out, prompting Peridot and Zircon to jump and cling to each other in alarm.

“What is it?” asked Bismuth.

“There!” the Pearl cried out, pointing at a couple of squirrels running around in a nearby tree.

“Squirrels? Really?” said Peridot, dropping her grip on Zircon.

“They’re just harmless little organics,” said Bismuth. “They’re not going to hurt you.”

This did little to reassure the Pearl, who had curled up on the ground and was quivering in fright.

“Remember when you used to do that?” said Peridot to Zircon.

“I was  _ not _ that bad,” said Zircon, indignantly.

“Are you sure?” said Peridot. “Because I have video evidence!”

“What?!”

Peridot pulled out her phone. A second later, Bismuth heard Zircon’s voice coming from it. “Aaaaaaah! Why are there so many  _ birds?!” _ Peridot giggled.

Zircon glared. “Yes, you’ve made your point. Why am I helping you again?”

“Free win! Also, you’d miss me if I were thrown in some Homeworld prison.”

Zircon crossed her arms. “Hmm, I  _ suppose.” _

The Pearl screamed again as a large crow flew in and perched on a nearby tree.

“We should probably escort her back to the warp,” said Bismuth.

“I can take her,” said Zircon. “I should probably be getting back to the office anyway. I need to register myself as the defending Zircon on this case.”

_ “You’re _ going to escort me?” asked the Pearl, looking at Zircon with disdain. “You’re no protection at all! Can’t it be the builder?”

“It took me a while to realize this, but we don’t really  _ need _ protection. It’s mostly just little harmless organics out here. I think. Probably.” Zircon looked increasingly uncertain as she talked.

“You two will be fine,” said Bismuth, holding out a hand to the Green Pearl and hauling her to her feet, then nudging her in Zircon’s direction. “There’s nothing between here and Little Homeworld that’s going to hurt you.”

The Pearl looked apprehensive. “Well, okay,” said the Pearl, clinging to Zircon like an escape pod on a failing spaceship. “Can we go now? I really want to go home.”

“Sure. See you later!” Zircon waved as she walked away, whimpering Pearl in tow.

“Are you sure they’re going to be okay?” asked Peridot.

“Not you too, Peri,” said Bismuth. “You know there’s nothing out here but birds and trees.”

“I don’t mean  _ that. _ I mean, what if the Pearl starts screaming, and sets Zircs off, and they both end up endlessly screaming in a ditch somewhere?”

Bismuth pictured that possibility. “We’ll probably hear them if that happens,” she said. “So what’s this about an Agate?”

“She was having some kind of problem with her tech. I was talking to Dottie and 2PK, and she just runs up and demands we fix it right away. I told her to file a ticket and she flipped out. I guess Dottie eventually fixed her problem. I can’t believe she’s actually pressing charges about that.”

“Yeah, Zircs seemed to think that was strange, too,” said Bismuth. “Are you worried?”

“Not really.” Peridot shrugged. “If Zircs thinks we can win, she’s probably right.”

“Probably so!” said Bismuth. “Even though it might be fun to bust you out of prison.”

Peridot had stars in her eyes. “A daring prison escape, just like in Season 2 of  _ Special Vampire Unit!  _ That’s a good backup plan!”

“Yeah, you  _ would _ think that,” said Bismuth, smiling. 

Peridot looked at the projected plans for the studio, suddenly deep in thought. “Bis, Lapis is going to like this, right?”

Bismuth really wanted both of them to just sit down together and work out their problems, but both Gems were way too stubborn for their own good. It clearly wasn’t going to happen before Peridot got this out of her system. So instead of saying what she really thought, she said, “Of course she will. It comes from you.”

Peridot smiled, and Bismuth really hoped she was right.


	5. Take Your Peridot to Work Day

**Plaintiff:** Iris Agate-1F3 Cut-UT0

**Representing:** Yellow Zircon-1F2 Cut-4GR

Zircon read that line over and over again, hoping that if she stared at it long enough, it would somehow change.

An Iris Agate filing a completely frivolous lawsuit was one thing. As Peridot had said so eloquently, perhaps she was just a stupid clod. But that prosecutor -- she  _ knew _ that prosecutor. She wished she  _ didn’t _ know that prosecutor, as every interaction they had ever had had been unpleasant. The fact remained, though, that 4GR had a reputation for being smart and ruthless. She wasn’t the type to take a hopeless case on a whim. Yet the paperwork clearly indicated that she had signed on as the plaintiff’s representative willingly -- she hadn’t been assigned.

4GR’s presence had turned what should have been a simple case into a nightmare. What was her  _ angle? _ Was there something about this she had missed? Was she going to pull something unexpected in the courtroom? There simply  _ had _ to be something.

Realistically, the consequences for Peridot if she lost this case would be fairly minor. It was no longer illegal for a Peridot to refuse an order, which would have made this suit potentially dangerous in Era 2 -- although, in practice, an Agate never punished a Peridot by taking her to court. They had countless off the book ways of dealing with insubordination. 

The only charge of merit here was emotional distress, and Peridot’s “transgression,” if it even was one, was extremely slight. At absolute worst, Peridot would be handed a day or two of assigned labor. 

Of course, that wasn’t the  _ real _ problem. The real problem was that her friend was counting on her to do this thing that she was supposedly good at, and Zircon couldn’t bear the thought of letting her down -- not to mention being outsmarted by an insufferable prosecutor and an Agate who wanted to put Peridot in her place. If she somehow lost this, she would be kicking herself for weeks.

“What am I missing? What am I  _ doing?” _ she asked herself as she turned and looked out the window at the bright, harsh landscape of Homeworld, which offered no comfort.

These days, she liked to get all of her Homeworld business done in bursts, to minimize the time spent there. She wasn’t sure when she had started to do that. So far, her most recent time on Homeworld had been going as well as one could expect -- she had defended in three trials and won them all. Peridot’s trial was the last thing she had planned before going home. 

She checked the time again. She now had less than an hour to figure this out. Much less than that, really, because any minute now--

A sudden loud pounding on her door caused Zircon to pitch backwards in her chair and drop all her screens. “Come on in!” she called.

“Zircs!” Peridot was all smiles and enthusiasm. Seeing her here in Zircon’s old Homeworld office was almost as jarring as seeing an old colleague show up in Little Homeworld. “Did you get my message?”

“What message?” said Zircon. “You know I can’t get texts from Earth here.”

“You can with the new messaging app I’m writing! I installed it on your phone when you weren’t looking. It’s still in beta so you can only message me with it.”

Zircon pulled out her phone. Sure enough, there was a strange new icon on it. “Peri, could you  _ not _ put weird things on my phone when --”

Peridot wasn’t listening. “Wow, this is an awesome view! How did you get such a cool view?”

“I had to fight the other Zircons in an arena for it.”

“Really?!”

“No, I was assigned here,” said Zircon, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Peridot plopped into the chair opposite Zircon’s desk. “Okay, how does this work? Did you come up with a cool defense? Is there a surprise witness? Can I be the one who yells ‘Objection!’?”

“There are no surprise witnesses and no, please do not yell anything,” Zircon explained, trying to swallow her stress and make it look like she knew what she was doing. She corrected herself -- she  _ did _ know what she was doing, it was just blasted 4GR getting in her head  _ again. _ “You didn’t actually do anything illegal. The complaint is spurious. I’m just going to motion for dismissal. I have statements from Dottie and 2PK backing up what happened, if we even need those. It should be over quick and then we can go home.”

“Ugh, that’s so boring. How are you always so boring?”

“Because in this case, a boring trial is what you want. You don’t want surprises. And if I’m always so boring, why even talk to me?”

“Because we’re friends, obviously,” said Peridot. 

This logic seemed circular to Zircon, but she decided not to press it. 

“So, we’re definitely going to win, then, right?” asked Peridot.

“Definitely!” said Zircon, trying her very hardest not to think of the times she had been steamrolled by 4GR and her insufferable smug face in the past.

Peridot looked skeptical. “Then why are you freaking out so much?” 

“I’m not freaking out!” said Zircon. 

Peridot simply raised an eyebrow.

Zircon collapsed on top of her desk, sweat beading on her brow. “Okay, yes, I am freaking out a little. But it’s nothing you need to be worried about! This will be fine. Everything is under control!”

“Okay, so, I’m obviously not the legal expert here, but it seems like it might be a problem to have my defense attorney completely melt down just before the trial.” Peridot paused and considered her friend's state. “On the other hand, it is  _ you. _ Is this just what you normally do before a trial? Part of your standard preparation is to turn yourself inside out with stress? That would explain a lot, actually.”

“It is  _ not--” _ Zircon started, flustered. “I mean, I don’t  _ always. _ There are extenuating circumstances, Peridot!”

“Extenuating circumstances? But I thought you were just going to dismiss it or whatever.”

Zircon sighed. She had been hoping to keep it together enough that Peridot wouldn’t suspect there was anything amiss, but that was obviously out the window at this point. “Here’s the problem. Less than twelve hours ago, this Gem signed on as the prosecuting attorney representing the Agate.” Zircon projected 4GR’s file from her monocle for Peridot’s benefit.

“Huh. She looks like a smug piece of dirt.”   


“Oh, she is!” said Zircon emphatically. “Unfortunately, she’s an extremely  _ smart _ smug piece of dirt. She wins almost every case she prosecutes. She grinds up defense Gems like me, turns us into a fine slurry, and bathes in our shards.”

“That is some  _ vivid _ imagery, Zircs. That’s metaphorical, right? You’re not actually going to be ground into slurry?”

“Just my self-worth,” said Zircs, burying her face in her arms.

“So… have you actually won against her before?”

Zircon was a picture of absolute misery. “No,” she admitted.

She could see Peridot carefully processing this crucial information. “So if we lose, it’s only a few days of assigned labor for me, right? Not that I think we’re going to lose!” she added quickly. “I have complete confidence in you!”

Zircon softly groaned, hands jittering with nerves. This wouldn’t do at all. 4GR or not, she had to compose herself enough to make it through the trial. She simply had no choice in the matter.

She stood up, slamming her hands on the desk and startling Peridot. “You’re right, we’re  _ not _ going to lose. The law is on our side and I am  _ not _ going to let some cloddy prosecutor tumble my rocks!” If she declared this decisively enough, she could almost believe it.

At any rate, Peridot seemed to buy into it -- although Zircon knew she also had a habit of feigning confidence in an effort to produce actual confidence. “That’s right! We are unstoppable! High five!” She slapped Zircon’s offered hand with a surprising amount of force for such a small Gem, causing Zircon to wince and shake out the pain. “Oh, sorry, you probably needed that hand.”

“All I need is my mind,” said Zircon. “And my screens. And for the room to stop spinning so much.” A reminder appeared on her monocle, flashing red. “It’s time. Shall we?”

* * *

When Zircon and Peridot entered the courtroom, it was dark and empty except for Blue Pearl. She was a free Gem now, of course, and no longer required to accompany her Diamond everywhere, but she still routinely showed up for trials, because she enjoyed drawing the court scenes.

She looked up from her sketchbook. “Oh, hello, Steven’s Zircon. And Steven’s Peridot, too? I haven’t seen you at life drawing classes in some time.”

Homeworld Gems often referred to the Crystal Gems as “Steven’s” -- or worse, “Pink’s.” The idea that a Gem that routinely traveled in the court of a Diamond didn’t actually  _ belong _ to that Diamond was difficult for many Gems to become accustomed to. Zircon herself never bothered to correct anyone. She still quietly felt as though it was an honor to be a Gem chosen specifically for a Diamond’s service, even if the Diamond in question was very unorthodox and the old concepts of court and service no longer applied.

Peridot, on the other hand, usually didn’t hesitate to declare that she was her own Gem and the Head Technician of Little Homeworld to boot. Never mind that this was mostly a formality, because everyone knew that she was as loyal to Steven as any Pearl had been to her owner. She didn’t seem to bother today, though. “Yeah, I haven’t really had the time,” she said, answering Blue Pearl’s question.

“That’s a shame,” said Blue Pearl, in that way where you couldn’t tell if she actually cared or was simply being polite. “Are you accompanying your friend to work today?”

“Yes, but I’m also the defendant,” said Peridot.

“Oh!” Blue Pearl seemed surprised. “Well. I do hope you prevail, then.”

“Thanks.”

“May I draw you?”

“Sure, why not?”

A door slid open, forming a stark bright rectangle in the dark gloom of the courtroom. 4GR entered, face unreadable, with a particularly large and sour-looking Agate in tow. “Well, if it isn’t Pink’s Zircon. What a surprise to see you here, defending an Earth case,” said 4GR.

“What a surprise to see  _ you _ here, prosecuting a  _ frivolous  _ case,” Zircon shot back.

“Awfully on edge for someone who’s so sure her case is a winner.”

“Why  _ are _ you taking on this case, anyway? You must know that it’s pointless,” said Zircon, hoping to get some clue.

“Is it pointless?” said 4GR, insufferable smirk blossoming across her face.

“Yes, it is,” said Zircon, crossing her arms and glaring.

4GR leaned in closer.  _ “Is it?” _

Zircon threw her hands up in frustration. “YES, IT IS. What game are you playing, 4GR --”

“I need a word with my defense counsel!” Peridot declared, pulling Zircon away. “Zircs, you said you weren’t going to let the prosecutor rattle you.”

“I am not  _ rattled,” _ Zircon protested. “I am pointing out the flawed statements made by the prosecution, which  _ is my job.” _

“Before the trial?”

“It’s customary!” Zircon huffed, hands on her hips. “Besides, look at her! She is literally  _ made _ to be argued with.”

"Huh. You’re right.” Peridot thought about it. “But doesn’t that mean you’re also made to be argued with?”

“Well… yes. But not now!” Zircon made flustered hand gestures. “Same side, remember?”

“Right, I’ll save it for when we get back to Earth.”

“I finished my picture,” announced Blue Pearl. She held it up as Peridot and Zircon turned around to look. 

Truth be told, they both looked fairly rattled in the sketch. Zircon sighed. Maybe she really did need to calm down. What was that thing Garnet had tried to explain to her? Something about butterflies?

“So, 6GN,” said 4GR, casually. “What’s going on with your client? Did they decide she wasn’t worth the limb enhancers?”

“What?!” shouted a furious Peridot.

What little calm there was evaporated from Zircon. “I’ll have you know--!”

The altercation was cut short by Blue and Yellow Diamond warping in.

Blue and Yellow Diamond still personally passed judgements in the vast majority of court cases. There had been a lot of talk of reforms to bring the court more in line with Era 3 principles, but it was slow moving and meeting with a lot of resistance. Much of that resistance was coming from Zircon’s colleagues, many of which were still getting used to the idea of being allowed to choose and refuse clients. Ideas like independent judges and juries were still quite some way from becoming a reality. Working on these reforms was consuming a great deal of Zircon’s time these days, not that she minded. It was one of the main reasons she had been recruited to the Crystal Gems in the first place, after all.

“My Diamond!” 4GR and the Iris Agate saluted in the Era 2 way.

“That won’t be necessary,” said a clearly irritated Yellow Diamond. “Let’s get this over with. Prosecution, make your case.”

“Yes, of course!” 4GR quickly projected a screen and double checked what was on it. “The date was 5 19 3. The plaintiff, Iris Agate-1F3 Cut-UT0, was visiting Earth primarily for tourism purposes. It was less than four hours into her visit that she tripped over some construction equipment that had been carelessly left out in a pedestrian walkway.”

“Oh, please,” Peridot said very quietly. 

“In this accident, a critical part of her communications equipment was broken. This would prevent her from receiving emergency messages from Homeworld, so of course she required it to be fixed immediately. To that end, she approached a group of three Peridots, including the defendant, who were…” She checked her screen again. “Taking a break,” she said, her voice full of utter contempt.

“I’d like to remind the court that it is no longer a crime for a Peridot to take a break,” Zircon added.

“Be that as it may,” 4GR continued, “the plaintiff approached these Peridots with what could legitimately be considered an emergency.”

“Objection!” called Zircon.

“Yesss,” cheered Peridot, stars in her eyes. “You said the thing!”

Zircon ignored her. “Malfunctioning communications equipment is not an emergency, particularly since there are multiple working off-planet lines in Little Homeworld the plaintiff could have used, if necessary.”

“The issue is not being able to communicate out,” said 4GR, “but if she can receive an emergency message from her Kindergarten if necessary.”

“This is hardly relevant,” said Yellow Diamond. “Continue.”

Blue Diamond wasn’t even paying the slightest bit of attention, seemingly deep in thought about something else entirely. 

“As I was saying, the plaintiff approached a group of three Peridots, including the defendant. The defendant informed her that, in order to get her repairs done, she would need to file a ‘ticket’ through a ‘ticketing system.’” 4GR frowned at the words, clearly not fully understanding what the purpose of a ticketing system might be.

“And did she?” asked Yellow Diamond.

“Did she what?”

“File a ticket.”

“Well, no, my Diamond,” said 4GR. “Is it not a law that all emergencies should be taken care of in a timely fashion by the appropriate Gems closest to the incident?”

Blue Diamond spoke up. Perhaps she had been paying attention after all. “It’s also now a law that Gems can refuse work orders if they wish.”

The look on 4GR’s face said everything when it came to her opinion of that particular rules change. “And how do you intend to reconcile these two laws, my Diamonds?”

The Diamonds looked at each other, uncertain. There had been a lot of growing pains in Era 3, and situations like this were one of the biggest. 

Thankfully, Zircon had acquired plenty of experience by now. “The prosecution’s point is irrelevant, because the plaintiff’s issue was not an emergency. Even if she believed it to be so, she did not adequately demonstrate that to my defendant.”

Peridot silently fist pumped, apparently thinking that that was a good argument. Considering that the extent of Peridot’s courtroom knowledge came from  _ Crime and Justice: Special Vampire Unit, _ Zircon wasn’t particularly surprised that she was treating the proceedings as entertainment.

4GR glared. “Any Peridot with half a shine on her Gem should know that lack of adequate communications equipment can be considered an emergency.”

“Somehow, most Gems manage to survive on Earth without having a constant line off-planet, you know,” said Zircon, crossing her arms.

4GR pulled something up on her screens, something that consisted of many pages of extremely tiny text. “The plaintiff is the acting Agate in charge of a Kindergarten. The bylaws clearly include Kindergarten management among the classes of Gems that should maintain constant contact with Homeworld.”

Zircon was prepared for this one. “The same bylaws indicate that having access to communications equipment within ten minutes’ travel is sufficient. Considering her location at the time of the incident, that requirement was fulfilled. Furthermore, the plaintiff’s Kindergarten has been placed on indefinite hiatus, pending the results of Resolution 92.” What should happen to the Kindergartens in the wake of the new reforms was one of the hottest topics in the whole Empire. “Court precedent from Fairburn Agate Cut-0KP vs. Ribbon Jasper Cut-9NW indicates that a manager of a facility that has been suspended should not be considered a manager when applying pre-Era 3 laws,” she continued, confidence growing.

“Well, that works for me,” said Yellow Diamond, in the tone that indicated she really didn’t care. “Would the prosecution like to add anything, or can we consider the matter settled?”

4GR looked legitimately at a loss. Zircon let herself feel the tiniest ray of hope that she was going to pull this off, but only the tiniest. The chances of 4GR bluffing and pulling some other slag out of her monocle were still quite high.

“Nothing further on the matter of the emergency work order, my Diamond,” she said. 

Zircon felt a tug on her arm. “Hey, are we winning?” asked Peridot, quietly.

“Um.” Zircon looked at 4GR, who was rearranging her screens with a sour look on her face. “Well. So far… I think?”

Peridot clapped her hands. “I knew it! Best Zircon ever!”

Zircon blushed from the praise. “Don’t get too excited, it’s not over yet.”

“No, it  _ isn’t _ over yet,” said the prosecutor. Behind her, the Iris Agate simmered in anger. “If the defense would care to pay attention, we can move on to the charge of emotional distress.” She shrugged in a way that seemed intended to be casual, but Zircon could see her annoyance just under the surface. “In fact, we can move on to the charge of emotional distress regardless of whether or not the defense is paying attention. It makes no difference to me.”

“Just get on with it,” said Yellow Diamond.

“Of course, my Diamond,” said 4GR, seamlessly regaining composure. “Let’s return to the day of the incident. The plaintiff had attempted to put in an emergency work order with a group of three Peridots, including the defendant. This work order was refused, and the plaintiff was directed to file a ticket. The plaintiff cited the urgency of her issue. It was at this point that the defendant called the plaintiff a --” -- here, 4GR paused for effect -- “a clod.”

Zircon could hear Peridot breaking into giggles behind her, and couldn’t help but let a small laugh escape herself. 

“Is that all?” said Yellow Diamond. “That’s the cause of emotional distress? I would expect an Iris Agate with as much experience as this one has become accustomed to lower Gems calling her a clod.” She noticed Blue Diamond’s look. “ _ Equal _ Gems. Anyway, even I’ve been called a clod before. You don’t see me experiencing ‘emotional distress.’”

Peridot’s giggling intensified to the point where she was nearly rolling on the floor. Zircon was attempting to shush her. 

“Is there a problem with the defense?” said Yellow Diamond, sharply.

_ There certainly are problems. So, so many problems. I could fill entire data capsules with all of the problems,  _ thought Zircon. “No, no problem,” is what she said, as Peridot managed to get herself under control again.

4GR cleared her throat loudly. “My Diamond, you are correct in that simply being insulted is not sufficient cause for emotional distress. The real cause of the plaintiff’s emotional distress was the extremely unsafe conditions to be found in the Earth colony.”

Zircon’s eyebrows shot up so far they almost escaped her face. This was not an angle she had been expecting at all. Both Diamonds leaned in with interest. 

4GR produced a screen full of text. “The plaintiff has compiled a list of all of the safety hazards she observed during her short time on Earth.”

“Objection!” cried out Zircon, with some urgency, stress levels rising again. “This list was not properly entered into the evidence for this trial.”

“Objection overruled,” said Blue Diamond. “I would like to see this list.”

Peridot nudged Zircon. “She can’t do that! She can’t just overrule an objection because she’s interested in the evidence, can she?”

Zircon huffed. “Well, who’s going to stop her?”

Peridot opened her mouth and Zircon clapped a hand over it.

“That was rhetorical. Don’t make things worse!” Inwardly, Zircon was fuming over 4GR’s little stunt. Technically, Peridot was right. In practice, the Diamonds could do whatever they wanted, and the reforms were still far away from truly reining in their power. 

“As you can see, my Diamond, not only is the Earth colony unsafe for Gems, but it also contains many potential hazardous conditions for organic life. Organic life such as the vessel our beloved Pink Diamond customarily wears.”

Blue Diamond looked shocked as she scrolled through the list. “You’re saying these are things that could harm Steven?”

Yellow Diamond was peering over. “I’m not sure I understand the ones having to do with electricity. Is Steven’s organic body allergic to electricity?”

With the Diamonds eating out of the palm of her hand, 4GR had fully regained her aura of smug arrogance. “You see, any reasonable Gem would be distressed to see one of their Diamonds in such immediate danger. And  _ this _ Gem--” -- she pointed dramatically at Peridot -- “purports to be the Chief Technician of the Earth colony. Why is it that she doesn’t carry the same concerns?”

“Hey! Objection!” called out Peridot. “I object!” She looked around as though she were expecting someone to stop her, but as no one did, she plowed ahead. “I don’t know what this clod wrote on that list, but Little Homeworld is extremely safe for all life. Gem life, organic life…” She counted them down on her fingers. “Um. Any other forms of life there are. Safety is my number one priority as Chief Technician! Right, Zircs?”

* * *

Someone was knocking on her office door. “Come on in,” said Zircon absently, hoping that whatever it was wouldn’t pull her away from a particularly complex document she was drafting up.

“Oh, good, you’re here.” 

Ocean Jasper entered her office. Zircon looked up in mild confusion. They had never really talked before.

“I think Peridot might be about to do something dangerous,” Ocean Jasper explained.

“Oh? Where’s Lapis?”

“No one can find her. That’s why I thought maybe you could go talk to Peridot instead.”

“I’m not Peri’s keeper, you know.”

“You kind of are, though?” Ocean Jasper looked confused. 

Zircon sighed. “Can this wait? I’m in the middle of something important.”

“She’s setting up fireworks in the main square to celebrate the completion of Little Homeworld.”

“Fireworks?”

“They’re like… decorative explosives. She has a really big one she’s calling the Diamond Destroyer. She says they’ll be able to hear it all the way on Homeworld.”

Zircon considered this. “So you’re saying we’re all literally going to be shattered unless I go talk to Peridot?”

Ocean Jasper shrugged. Zircon snapped her screens closed.

“All right then, I guess  _ this _ isn’t getting done today!”

* * *

“Uh, yes! Peridot has been extremely committed to the safety of everyone who lives in Little Homeworld!” Zircon hoped she wasn’t sweating too badly. “Even a highly fragile Gem such as myself can live there without fear!”

Oh stars, that was almost certainly the biggest lie she was going to tell today.

“I think you’ll find this list shows otherwise,” said 4GR.

“And as you didn’t see fit to file this list with the rest of the evidence, according to procedure, the defense hasn’t had any chance to review it!” Zircon snapped back. “For all we know, everything on the list could be completely fabricated!”

“My client is willing to stand by its veracity.”

“Even so, you haven’t actually proven your charge,” said Zircon, now fired up. “You put forth a list of safety violations as proof that the plaintiff felt endangered and was therefore emotionally distressed. However, I have taken the liberty of looking over her past work history.” The raw anger on the Iris Agate’s face almost made Zircon lose her nerve, but she couldn’t back down now. “What I found was a long list of violations and accidents, considerably higher than the average for a Kindergarten for at least the past three thousand years. You’re claiming that an Agate with this sordid track record has experienced serious distress over an Earth colony that, by all available metrics, has had  _ no _ serious accidents in its existence? We’ve had no disappearances and no shatterings.”

This was a small bluff. The only reason Little Homeworld hadn’t experienced shatterings was because of Steven’s extraordinary ability to heal cracked Gems before they were too far gone. Still, it was one she could likely get away with.

"Yes. Well. You see.” 4GR was clearly stalling while thinking of an adequate retort. 

“Enough,” said Yellow Diamond, shifting on her seat in impatience. “Is there anything more the prosecution would like to add?”

“The plaintiff has composed a song about the beauty of the Earth, which we believe will prove her sensitivity --”

“Absolutely not. I’m ready to render a verdict.” Yellow Diamond looked at the Zircons as though she were daring them to say one word more, and neither took her up on that challenge. “I declare the defendant not guilty on all charges.”

Peridot threw her hands up and cheered as the Iris Agate angrily slammed a fist into the wall with enough force to shake the courtroom.

“But,” said Blue Diamond. “Steven’s Peridot. You simply must review this list of safety violations, or I’m going to need to have a chat with Steven about the maintenance of his colony. Do you understand?”

“Of course!” said Peridot. “It’ll be a piece of cake.”

“A piece of… cake?” 

“It’s something the humans consume to --” Zircon started to explain, but then saw 4GR retreating through the door. “Hey, wait!” She squeezed into the door just as it slid shut.

4GR immediately rounded on her. “You seem to have taken a wrong turn, 6GN. This is the prosecution lobby, you know.”

“What was  _ that?!” _ Zircon demanded.

4GR rolled her eyes. “That was a trial. I would have expected you to be more familiar with them.”

“You  _ know _ what I mean. You took a loss back there. Your only gambit was that unfiled list. You must have known going in that this would disrupt your record, but you took the case anyway. Why?”

“I honestly can’t imagine why you think that’s any of your business,” 4GR said. “And there’s more to life than maintaining a win streak, you know.”

“There’s  _ no way _ you actually believe that,” said Zircon, astonished that 4GR even tried to make that claim. She had dealt with many prosecutors over her long career, but few had been so uniquely dedicated to winning at every cost as 4GR. “What are you hiding?”

4GR stepped in close and put a hand on Zircon’s shoulder. It took all her composure to keep herself from flinching. “You see, 6GN, this is why everyone thinks you’re crazy.”

“What?!”

“You probably don’t want my advice, but I think you and that little defective Peridot should head back to Earth and enjoy yourselves while you can.”

“While we can?”

“Figure of speech. I’m headed back to my office now. Don’t follow me.” The enormous Iris Agate was just behind 4GR, with murder in her eyes. Zircon had no choice but to watch them both walk away.

She was stunned. Perhaps she was just imagining it, but there seemed to be genuine malice in 4GR’s words, not just the typical arrogance that was extremely common among the prosecutors. She suddenly felt exhausted as all the tension of the trial transformed into a much more nebulous cloud of worry.

Numb, she slid open the door back to the courtroom, saw that it was already empty, and trudged back to her office.

“There you are!” There was a bright green ball of pure enthusiasm bouncing up and down in front of her desk. “We did it! We won! I knew you could do it!” She held up her hand for a high five, which Zircon ignored in favor of sitting down and slowly pounding her head against the desk several times.

“Zircs? If this is your reaction to winning, I really don’t want to see your reaction to losing.”

“She’s  _ up to something, _ Peri!”

“Who? That prosecutor?”

“I asked her why she took on a losing case, and she said ‘there’s more to life than a win streak.’ 4GR! 4GR tried to pull that complete slag with me! Does she think I emerged yesterday? And then, she  _ threatened _ me. ‘Enjoy Earth while you can!’ What does that mean?!” Zircon’s rant reached a fever pitch. “She is up to something! She is up! To! Something!” Each word was punctuated by an emphatic hand gesture.

“O...kay,” said Peridot.

Peridot was looking at her as though she were about to disintegrate. “Peri, can I ask you something important? I need you to answer honestly.”

“Of course!”

“4GR said that everyone thinks I’m crazy. Am I crazy?”

“She said  _ that?  _ Ugh, she really is a piece of dirt. She’s obviously just trying to get into your head.”

“You didn’t answer the question,” Zircon pointed out. “Am I crazy?”

“Of course you aren’t crazy!” said Peridot. “You’re just nervous and kind of paranoid. That’s all!” 

Zircon just stared.

“Okay, that came out wrong. Look, it’s not crazy to be paranoid if there are good reasons for it!” 

Zircon slowly slammed her head against the desk again.

Peridot circled around and hoisted herself up on the desk next to where Zircon was sitting. “Sorry, I’m not very good at this. You’re not crazy, Zircs. Granted, I might not be the best judge of what is and isn’t crazy.” 

Zircon let out a soft laugh.

“Seriously, though, I mean it. A clod like that has never known anything beyond these buildings and doing the job she was made for. Of course Gems like us seem crazy to someone who has such an incredibly narrow view of the universe!”

“Gems like us,” Zircon repeated. “That used to be me, just a couple of years ago.”

“The key phrase is ‘used to be’,” said Peridot. “And even then, no, you weren’t like her. Can you imagine that Gem coming to Earth to stay like you did? I sure can’t.”

“I can’t either. You know, Peri, you can be surprisingly insightful when you want to be.”

“I try not to make a habit of it,” she said, grinning. “I wouldn’t want everyone to get too used to my precious pearls of wisdom.” Her face turned serious again. “Speaking of pearls of wisdom, I’m going to tell you something that you aren’t going to believe. I want to say it anyway, though.”

“Well, go ahead.”

“Maybe that other Zircon really isn’t up to anything. Maybe she doesn’t have some elaborate plan that involves losing a court case. Maybe she really thought she could win. I mean, you said yourself that she wins  _ all the time. _ Maybe she was just threatening you because she’s upset she lost. And this is the part you’re really not going to buy -- maybe she lost because you’re actually pretty good at your job?”

“I’ll… take that into consideration,” said Zircon.

“You’d better,” said Peridot. “Now if you’re done having an existential crisis, we need to celebrate our win! Or actually, if you want to continue having your existential crisis while we celebrate, that’s fine too. I got your number.”

“What did you have in mind?”

Peridot had returned to bouncing with excitement. “I got this new video game --”

“Peri, you know I’m terrible at video games.”

“Hold on, let me finish! This one’s different. It doesn’t require any reflexes or spatial reasoning. I still remember how you managed to kill yourself with your own sword within minutes of handing you the controller in  _ Inhalation of the Uninhabited.” _

“Why was that even possible?”

“I didn’t think it was until I saw you do it. Anyway, this game is different. It’s all menus!”

“Menus…?”

“Yeah, it’s like filling out paperwork! Except the paperwork is all about equipping human teenagers with weapons to fight dragons. You  _ have _ to try it. Or at least you have to come hang out with me. I mean, I was expecting to have to cheer you up if we lost. I wasn’t expecting to have to cheer you up if we  _ won.” _

Peridot was trying to be a good friend. Out of all the many things on Earth she was still trying to adjust to, having genuine friends and not just colleagues was one of the most challenging. She didn’t understand why anyone would ever bother with her. She didn’t know if she could ever be as good a friend in return. In some ways, it was like a particularly difficult trial -- there was really nothing that could be done but try her best and hope it was enough.

“All right, Peri, I’ll try your swords and paperwork game,” she said, finally smiling. “Let’s see if I can find a new and creative way to lose horribly in the first thirty seconds.”

“That’s the spirit!” She held up her hand for a high five, and this time, Zircon didn’t leave her hanging.

Suddenly, her phone made a shrill chime. “It’s your message from Earth. Didn’t you send that hours ago?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m having problems with the delay. But it worked, and that’s the important part!”

* * *

_ two years ago _

_ thump - thump - thump - ow! - scrape - thump - thud  _

Zircon let out a long groan of frustration. She had known that Little Homeworld was still under construction when she moved there, but it hadn’t registered at the time that that would mean being surrounded by constant, distracting construction noises. Over the past few weeks, she had gotten better about tuning them out, but today someone seemed to be trying to accomplish something on the roof right over her top-floor office.

There were a lot of things the literature had described in vague terms that she hadn’t actually been prepared for. For instance, a description of the ocean did not do justice to the reality of a staggeringly enormous body of water stretching far past the horizon. The knowledge that Earth was full of organic life had not prepared her for irritating, tiny winged organics that had a habit of flying directly into one’s face. The description of the inhabitant Gems as “friendly” didn’t come close to their near fanatical devotion to the Earth and their cult-like insistence on involving her in their rituals every time she dared step foot outside her office.

More than once, she had considered leaving. Lots of the Homeworld Gems only lasted a few days before fleeing. She could tell Steven to find someone else, go back to her old post and her old office --

\-- just to be miserable there instead of miserable here, she reminded herself. There, she was wallowing in mediocrity, working on the petty court cases assigned to her now that her reputation had been dragged through the mud by her little outburst. Here, she was going to be involved in reforming the court system from the ground up. Wasn’t that worth enduring a few irritants?

_thump_ _\- scrape - crash - ow! - ow! ow! ow! - thud - stupid cloddy - ow!_

The noises and yelling suddenly grew much louder. She was clearly not going to get any work done in the near future, and she was becoming increasingly curious about what was going on. She hesitantly exited her office and climbed the stairs to the roof.

As she suspected, there was some kind of large, complicated looking machine directly above her office. The limb-enhancer-less Peridot that Steven had introduced her to was there, attacking the innards of the machine with a screwdriver and muttering angrily. Despite all of her frantic yelling a few minutes ago, she appeared to be unharmed.

On the one hand, she had repeatedly warned herself away from associating from some of the more eccentric Earth Gems. On the other hand, if this Peridot was building a stars-knows-what right above her office, that was going to be a bit difficult to ignore.

“Um… hello?” said Zircon. “Excuse me?”

Peridot flipped up her visor and looked at Zircon, startled. “Huh? Oh, it’s  _ you!” _ Her face broke into a bright grin. “I remember you, you’re that Zircon Steven hired! How’s the Earth treating you?”

“I, um, well...” Zircon stalled as she tried to think of a diplomatic way to phrase her feelings.

“It’s awful, right?” Peridot laughed. “Don’t look so surprised. I remember what it was like when I first got here. It takes a lot of getting used to. At least no Gems are trying to kill you.”

“There were Gems trying to kill you?”

“It’s a long story,” she said, idly spinning her screwdriver in the air next to her. “You should hurry up and get settled, though. I told Steven I wasn’t going to bother you about hanging out and watching TV until you were settled. At this rate, you’re going to have a lot of  _ Special Vampire Unit _ to catch up on before the next season drops.”

Zircon didn’t fully understand what she was talking about. “Did I… agree to whatever this was?”

“Well, no,” said Peridot, looking genuinely disappointed. “It’s fine if you don’t want to,  _ I guess. _ I just thought it might be fun. You don’t have any friends here yet, do you?”

“I suppose I don’t. Steven, maybe.” In fact, she had been actively avoiding social interactions deeper than a quick greeting. 

“Great! I haven’t had any luck making friends with the new Homeworld Gems. Since you’re still standing there talking to me, we’re friends now. By default!”

“I… what?!” 

Peridot laughed. “Oh man, you should see the look on your face. I can tell you’re going to be a great friend.”

“I genuinely can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

“Neither can I,” said Peridot, and she seemed to mean it. She held out her hand to shake. “Friends or not?”

This really shouldn’t be a difficult decision. This strange Gem offering to make friends with her didn’t even make the slightest lick of sense. She just had to politely refuse and walk away. She was here to do an important job, not to become an Earth outcast who indulged in strange human culture like Steven’s inner circle.

On the other hand, if she really was committed to stay on Earth, she would have to get acclimated at some point. Would it really hurt to make some friends? What’s the worst that could happen? 

“You’re taking an awfully long time to think about this,” said Peridot, deadpan, still holding her hand out. “My hand is starting to get tired.”

Zircon shook her hand before she could second guess herself. “Sure, let’s be friends.”

“Ha, that actually worked!” said Peridot, grinning and jumping to her feet. “Bismuth’s busy and Lapis went flying, and I’ve been  _ so bored. _ C’mon, let’s go watch TV.”

“What, now? I have work to get done.”

“Irrelevant,” said Peridot. 

“Highly relevant!” Zircon shot back. “And don’t you have work to get done, too? What’s all this?” She gestured to the machine.

“Oh, this? This is just an experimental portable power source, for areas where solar cores are impractical. This cloddy piece of junk can definitely wait.”

“So you’re going to leave an experimental power source sitting above my office?”

“Don’t worry, it’s not dangerous! It’s totally inert. I checked.” Peridot hesitated. “Actually, I should check again.” She flipped down her goggles and stuck her head most of the way into an access panel. “Yup, it’s inert. Completely safe!”

A minute ago, she had been asking herself what’s the worst that could happen if she made an Earth friend. She was starting to realize the answer was “being shattered in a fiery explosion caused by an ill-maintained piece of experimental machinery.”

“Hey, do you always look so stressed?” asked Peridot.

“Probably?” said Zircon.

“That’s good to know.”

* * *

“Hm.” Peridot leaned against the wall of the elevator leading down to her lair. “We really need to lower your stress levels down a couple notches.” She had the air of someone troubleshooting machinery.

“What? I’m fine,” said Zircon.

“You’ve been fidgeting with your tie and your monocle nonstop since we got back, and it’s kind of starting to drive me crazy. I hope you’re not still thinking about what that prosecutor said.”

“I --” Zircon started to protest, but realized she was toying with her tie even as she spoke. She clasped both hands firmly behind her back to avoid the urge to fidget as they both stepped out of the elevator. “Honestly, Peri, you’ve known me for two years and you still get surprised when I can’t let something go.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve known  _ me _ for two years and you still get surprised when I’m concerned about your stress levels.”

“It’s not like you pay attention to me when I’m concerned about  _ your _ stress levels,” Zircon pointed out. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine,” said Peridot.

“Oh, you’re fine, are you?” said Zircon, as the door to Peridot’s lair slid open. “Great, then, let’s talk about La --”

_ “No,” _ said Peridot, distress written all over her features.

“What, I can’t even say her name, now?” Zircon pushed some things aside and sat on the only space on Peridot’s work tables that was even remotely habitable. “Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.” 

Peridot scowled.

“I’m trying to help, Peri. You know that, right? I really wish you would just talk to her instead of constantly beating yourself up over… I’m not even sure what, at this point.”

“I’m not,” said Peridot, in a completely unconvincing manner. “It’s nothing. I just need to finish her present, that’s all.”

“Peridot,” said Zircon with all the sternness she could muster. “You know if you need someone to talk to, I’ll listen. And I promise that not a word of it will get back to Lapis.”

“Tell you what, Zircs. I’ll stop bottling things up when you do.”

“This is not a competition! And if it were, I’ll remind you that I have over a thousand years experience on you when it comes to fruitless worrying.” She put her hands down to balance herself on the work table, accidentally dislodging a particularly precarious pile of junk. She screamed and nearly launched herself across the room when something in the pile suddenly sizzled and let off a pink spark. “What is that?! What’d I do?”

“Huh?” Peridot quickly rummaged through the pile, pulling out a slender magenta tube. “Oh, stars, I thought I put this away.”

A bit of deeply recessed knowledge presented itself to the forefront of Zircon’s mind. “Is that a Gem rejuvenator? Peridot, why do you have that?”

Peridot groaned. “Great, now you’re going to lecture me about it. It’s for an experiment, okay? I wouldn’t have it if I didn’t have a good reason.”

“You know those things were banned as punishment back in Era 1, because of how unpredictable they were? I’m going to repeat myself for emphasis:  _ Era 1 Gems thought it was a bad idea. _ The same Gems that created the concept of harvesting. Those Gems.” Zircon suddenly remembered. “This is the dangerous tech that you and Lapis fought about, isn’t it?”

“Of course it is!” Peridot threw up her hands in exasperation. “I don’t expect anyone to understand. It’s disabled right now, it can’t hurt anybody. Just leave it, okay?”

Zircon shook her head. “Peridot, listen. If I promise not to tell anyone what you’re doing, and also promise that I won’t try to stop you -- because stars knows I have a terrible track record at dissuading you from anything -- will you please just tell me what’s going on?”

“You really promise that you won’t try to stop me?” said Peridot, uncertain.

“I swear,” said Zircon. 

Peridot bit her bottom lip. “Fine.” She cleared out a spot on the table opposite Zircon by throwing a stack of books onto the floor. “When you say you’re not going to try to stop me, you really mean it?”

“Yes,” said Zircon, now deeply concerned about what was going on. Still, it was clearly better to learn what was happening, even if her hands were tied, than to not know at all.

“I’ve been telling people that I’ve been working on a booth that lets you change your appearance.”

Zircon raised an eyebrow. “A booth that lets you change your appearance by, what? Poofing and regenerating?”

Peridot glared. “If you call it a suicide booth, I’m kicking you out.”

“I’ll just think it and not say it, then.”

“Good.” Peridot continued. “You understand, right? Era 2 Gems like us can’t shapeshift, so we’re stuck looking like our factory models unless we get poofed. Wouldn’t you like to be able to change your outfit?”

“Is there something  _ wrong _ with my outfit? I rather like my coat,” said Zircon, suddenly self-conscious.

“No! But you know, you should totally have a star.”

“A star? I thought stars were reserved for the original Crystal Gems.”

“You’re part of Steven’s court, you’re in the group chat, you’re sitting in my lair right now. You count.”

“Is that how it works?” Despite herself, Zircon was flattered to be included. Having a new outfit that was more fitting to her new role on Earth wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. A smile spread across her face as she pictured herself with the Crystal Gems, decked out in a new appearance, complete with a tasteful, understated star. 

Peridot was grinning. “You’re picturing it, right? I knew you’d get it.”

“Wait,” she said, clearing her head. “If the goal is to give Gems a way to easily poof and regenerate -- which, I’ll point out, is still extremely dangerous -- that doesn’t explain why you have a rejuvenator and not just a common destabilizer.”

“Right, that’s the part I haven’t told anyone.” Peridot settled into her spot, clearly gearing up for an explanation. “This rejuvenator was Spinel’s. You remember Spinel, right?”

“I remember coming back from Homeworld to hundreds of messages about the world ending,” said Zircon. “I remember that my office was mostly destroyed by a buzzsaw while I was out. I remember cowering in this very basement while Little Homeworld was flooded with poison. I don’t think I’m going to forget that any time soon, really.”

“Good!” said Peridot, brightly. “So Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst got hit with the rejuvenator and were temporarily reset to their original Kindergarten settings. It didn’t stick, thank the stars, but I couldn’t help but wonder how that was supposed to work in the first place. That’s why I took the rejuvenator from the Temple.”

“What did you find?”

“The tech in this rejuvenator can actually rewire a Gem’s composition, Zircs.” Peridot’s face glowed with an enthusiasm that bordered on frightening. “The rejuvenator itself is extremely primitive, like taking a hammer to a Gem’s inner workings. It’s not physical damage, like a crack -- it’s damage to the connections that form a Gem’s consciousness. In the absence of physical damage, Gems have the ability to heal those connections over time. It’s actually just an extension of the way we learn new things. That’s why the effects of the rejuvenator can be reversed.” 

“Hm,” said Zircon. “I… think I followed all that.”

“Here’s what I realized: if you can use the tech to  _ sever _ connections, maybe I could reverse engineer the same tech to  _ create _ new connections. It could allow Gems to gain new knowledge instantaneously. And not just new knowledge -- new  _ abilities _ , too. I don’t know how I’d prove it, but I think that might be what happened when I gained metal powers out of nowhere! If I could harness this potential -- the possibilities -- !”

“That’s both fascinating and terrifying,” Zircon admitted.

“You said you weren’t going to try to stop me.”

“I’m not! I did promise.” Zircon was trying to wrap her head around everything. “I see the possibilities of what you’re talking about. Really, I do. But you must have also realized how dangerous it is. I mean, Homeworld’s first use of this tech was a punishment!” She stared at the floor, in deep contemplation. “I suppose what I really don’t understand is why this is so important to you, that you’re willing to take on the risks.”

“Don’t you see, Zircs? This is a big deal! Whoever figures this out is going to change Gemkind forever!”

That seemed true enough, and it was certainly an understandable motivation. Still, something about Peridot’s words was pinging something, an old instinct. Like someone on the stand giving out a particularly well-rehearsed  _ lie. _

“That’s why, really? For the good of Gemkind?”

Peridot fidgeted. “Well, yeah?”

“That’s not why. You have a personal motivation.” Zircon said it as though it were a fact.

“How…?” Peridot was at a loss. “Geez, Zircs. I told you you’re good at your job.”

“Despite what you might think, figuring you out isn’t actually my job. It’s more of a hobby, really.”

“Fine. Yes. You got me. I have a personal motivation. But if I tell you, it absolutely  _ cannot _ leave this room.”

“I’ve already promised that. Twice.”

Peridot looked around nervously, as though she concerned about someone overhearing, even though they were currently in an underground bunker. “It’s about fusion.”

“Fusion?” Zircon didn’t understand.

“You know how Era 2 Gems like us were made with less resources, right? It’s why we can’t shapeshift.”

Zircon shrugged. “I never really saw the point in shapeshifting, personally.”

“What? But shapeshifting is so cool! Why do you hate everything that’s cool? Never mind, don’t answer that. Let me get to my point. What if…” She looked as if she were struggling to get the words out. “What if I can’t fuse?”

Oh. So that’s what this was about. “Do you have a reason to think you can’t?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Before Era 3, cross-type fusion was illegal, so there’s basically no information out there. Even now, there’s not a huge number of Gems who have tried it, and most of them are keeping it fairly private. But… I heard a rumor that some of the later Era 2s can’t fuse.”

“Just… a rumor?”

“What if it’s true, though? What if I can’t ever fuse? What if I can’t fuse with --” She didn’t finish her sentence.

“Well,” said Zircon, carefully. “You know, that might not actually be a problem for her, given her… past experience.”

“But… it’s not just about her. I want to know.” Peridot blushed and shrunk in on herself. “The Gems who have tried fusion talk about it like it’s the most amazing experience in the world. Even if it’s just friends and not romantic at all! I want to know what it’s like. I want to know what it’s like to… feel cared about like that.” She facepalmed. “Stars, that’s dumb.”

“That’s not dumb.”

“Yes, it is. And Lapis…” She shoved her fingers in her hair, destroying its points. “She’s only ever had a bad experience with fusion before. I kind of wanted to, y’know. Show her a good experience, like Garnet. Maybe you’re right and she wouldn’t ever want that. But what if she does, and I also do, and I  _ can’t.” _

“So… your plan for not being able to fuse is to alter your Gem’s inner workings so you can?”

Peridot nodded.

“Sometimes I’m not quite sure if I should admire your intensity or be terrified of it.”

Peridot wiped the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I just want to be good enough, you know? Sometimes I think the only reason I’m even here is because I happened to get assigned to Earth. Like if it had been another Peridot, she’d be here, and I’d be off on some colony somewhere, and maybe she’d even be doing a better job.”

Zircon shook her head. “I don’t know a whole lot of Peridots, but I feel reasonably confident in saying that there aren’t any quite like you.”

“In a good way or a bad way?”

“Mostly good. I’ll say… ninety percent good.”

Peridot let out a small laugh, but was still teary-eyed. “I hope that’s good enough for Lapis.”

Zircon had to approach this in a way that wouldn’t violate her promise to Lapis that she wouldn’t reveal her feelings. “Peri, seriously. If she doesn’t appreciate someone who is prepared to bend the laws of science as we know them to make her happy, then I don’t even know what she’s thinking.”

Peridot looked up with a tearful smile. “So you’re not going to try to stop me?”

“I did promise not to,” said Zircon. “But please, please,  _ please _ be careful. If you end up wiping your own memory I might actually end up being productive.”

“That’d be terrible,” agreed Peridot. “And, uh, thanks for hearing me out.”

“Any time,” said Zircon. “That’s what friends are for, right?”

“That’s so corny. You sound like Steven.”

"Steven…” A lightbulb went on over Zircon’s head. “You should talk to Steven!”

“About what?”

“Fusing, of course. He knows all about it, right? He fuses with the other Crystal Gems all the time. Maybe you could try fusing with Steven, to see if you can?”

“Fusing with Steven?” The gears were turning in Peridot’s head. “That’s… actually not a bad idea. I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.” Peridot was deep in thought. “What do you think it’d be like? To be part Steven?”

“I have no idea. If you end up doing it, you’re going to have to tell me.”

“I definitely will.” Peridot brushed away the last of her tears. “I was supposed to be cheering you up. I guess that didn’t really go as planned.”

“There’s still time,” said Zircon. “I believe I had an appointment to accidentally kill myself in a swords-and-paperwork video game.”

Peridot’s face lit up. “That’s right!” She rubbed her hands together with glee. “Are you ready to get slaughtered by a dragon?”

“I’m not sure how I’m supposed to be ready for that, but I suppose I am.”


	6. Peridot Almost Has a Really Good Day

“Look, I’m saying that if we don’t pair Lina with Jessie, then we won’t ever get a child who has the ultimate thunder skill. The ultimate thunder skill!”

“You’re much too focused on one flashy skill to the detriment of everything else. Look at the stat growth you get from pairing Lina with Ace! I’ve got it all plotted out on this spreadsheet.”

“I think your math is wrong. Let me see it, I’m the math person.”

“Just because I’m not a technician doesn’t mean I can’t do basic math!”

Peridot was so engrossed in her game / argument that she didn’t even notice Lapis approach until she was tapped on the head. “Hey, Peri.”

“Lapis!” Peridot yelped and fumbled the controller.

“Oh, hi, Lapis,” said Zircon, squinting and looking a bit dazed. 

“Peri, you wanted to come flying with me, right? See the foliage up north?” Lapis leaned over the couch back and smiled.

“Yes!” said Peridot, with stars in her eyes. “Hold on a sec, though. We need to figure out what we’re doing with Lina’s support link.”

Lapis’s eyes narrowed in confusion. “What are you two doing, anyway?”

“It’s  _ Flame Symbol: Mystery of the Time Sword!” _ said Peridot, face shining with enthusiasm. “You have all these humans in your army, and you have to equip them with weapons, and level them up in various jobs, and pair them off with the correct other humans, and feed them different kinds of tea to optimize their stat growth, and there’s this fishing part that neither of us are any good at…”

“There’s also growing crops,” added Zircon, pulling up a diagram on one of her holographic screens.

“Right, that part’s  _ super _ important.”

Lapis was unimpressed. “Why am I not surprised you’ve found a video game that is way more complicated than your actual work?”

“It’s not complicated, it’s  _ detailed,” _ said Peridot.

“Whatever,” said Lapis, picking Peridot up and setting her down next to the couch. “Flying time.”

“But--” said Peridot. “I have to fix Zircs’ math. It’s wrong.”

“One, Zircs can do basic math, two, I don’t care.”

“Yes, thank you, Lapis,” said Zircon, turning her attention back to her spreadsheets.

“Oh, all right,” said Peridot, following Lapis out of the lair, her mild anxiety fading in anticipation of a flight.

“All set?” Lapis asked, as she pulled Peridot onto her back.

“Yup, I’m good,” said Peridot, and they were in the air even before she had finished.

Peridot had become very proficient with flying on a trash can lid, but there was still something special about flying with Lapis -- the exhilaration of the wind in her hair, the quiet sounds of Lapis’ water wings, the way the morning light glinted off of the gem on her back. She didn’t need to concentrate on holding herself aloft and was free to simply enjoy the scenery around her. Between her responsibilities, her personal projects, and her general anxieties, it was rare for Peridot to get a true moment of peace. Flying high above the glittering ocean with Lapis was as close to pure contentment as she ever experienced.

As they flew to the north, bright green trees gave way to shades of brown and red, until the forests below them resembled dancing flames. Peridot had seen this several times now, but it never failed to fill her with a sense of awe. Steven had explained why the leaves turned color, once -- it was effectively a beautiful form of death throes, allowing the trees to survive the winter as bare branches and reform their leaves anew in the spring. For a being designed to live thousands of years unchanging, the rapid cycles of life on Earth could be difficult to wrap her head around.

Bismuth had once told her that change was the only constant on Earth, and that had certainly proved to be true. So far, the majority of the changes had been positive -- befriending Steven, Lapis moving into the barn, defeating the Diamonds and installing a new era, building Little Homeworld, making new friends. The amount of time she had been on Earth had been no more than a brief blip in her nearly three thousand years, and it was already impossible to imagine life could be any other way. In the many hours she spent maintaining kindergartens on remote colonies, she would never have imagined a future where she would be sightseeing on the back of a Lapis Lazuli.

Her life had changed for the better so quickly, and she had to make an effort to stop from dwelling on the obvious corollary to that -- that her life could change for the worse just as rapidly.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” said Lapis, interrupting Peridot’s thoughts just as they began to darken.

“It really is,” she agreed. “I really enjoy coming up here with you.”

Peridot couldn’t see Lapis’s face very well from her perch, but she could tell she was smiling. “I’m glad.”

Peridot would have liked to say something more, maybe even tell Lapis how she felt, but as usual, she couldn’t find the words. So she said nothing, and enjoyed the gentle breeze as they flew past tree-covered mountains. Even though she was hundreds of feet in the air with nothing between her and the ground but an average-sized Gem, she felt safe when she was with Lapis, like nothing could ever touch her.

She wondered what it would feel like if they were ever able to fuse.

She had told Zircon that she would talk to Steven about fusion instead of performing dangerous experiments on her own Gem. She wasn’t at all convinced that the conversation was actually the easier option, but she knew Zircon would get on her case if she didn’t at least try. Cloddy lawyer and her cloddy insistence on conversation instead of bending the laws of science.

“Penny for your thoughts?” asked Lapis.

“What’s a penny?”

“I don’t know, it’s something Steven said to me once. It means ‘what are you thinking?’”

“Oh,” said Peridot, trying to formulate a safe answer to that question. Definitely  _ not _ the fusion thing. “Just… about change. There’s a lot of it, right?” Internally, she cringed.  _ Real smart, Peri. _

Lapis laughed softly. “Yeah, I guess there is.”

They flew in silence for a few minutes, with no sounds except the gentle rustling of forest below them.

“Penny for  _ your _ thoughts?” asked Peridot.

Lapis hesitated so long before answering that Peridot thought she hadn’t heard her. “Before I was in the mirror, I completely took life for granted, you know? I was an elite gem, I was good at terraforming, I had no reason to think things wouldn’t stay like that forever. Until, you know, they didn’t. When I was trapped, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I didn’t appreciate the time I had enough. I don’t want to make that same mistake again.”

Peridot was filled with a melancholy ache in the way only Lapis really knew how to cause. She wanted to hug her, but was worried that that would cause them to plummet out of the sky. Instead, she said, “I know exactly what you mean.”

“You do?”

“I think so,” said Peridot. “I keep worrying that I’m going to ruin things somehow.”

“So do I,” said Lapis, sadly.

“You’re not going to ruin anything,” said Peridot. “I trust you.”

“Thanks, that means a lot to me,” said Lapis.

Peridot noticed that she didn’t exactly reciprocate what she had said.

* * *

That’s how Peridot ended up at the Crystal Temple not long after taking her leave of Lapis, figuring she may as well get this ridiculous talk with Steven over with so she could get back to important things like ensuring the crops in  _ Flame Symbol  _ were arranged optimally. Who knew what Zircs was doing to them without her guidance?

“Hey, Peridot,” said Steven, walking down the stairs. He seemed cheerful enough, but there was a tiredness in his eyes that was a fairly recent development. Peridot was quietly concerned about him, but didn’t have the slightest clue how to approach that. “There was something you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Steven. Yes.” Peridot braced herself. She could trust Steven, after all. They had been through so much together, including facing down near certain death. She could talk to him about fusion.

“Peridot? You’re, um, sweating. A lot.” Steven was looking concerned. “Are you okay? Is it something serious?”

“No! No, it’s nothing serious. I mean, it is serious. But not that kind of serious. You know what I mean?”

“I really don’t.”

Peridot gathered herself once more. Didn’t she already decide that she was going to get this over with? “I’mworriedthatbecauseI’manEra2Ican’tfuse.”

Steven blinked. “What? Slow down.”

“I’m worried that because I’m an Era 2, I can’t fuse,” said Peridot. No turning back now.

“Oh!” Steven looked surprised. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, I can’t shapeshift.”

“Fusion isn’t shapeshifting.”

“I know, but -- have you ever heard of an Era 2 Gem fusing?”

Steven thought about it. “I thought I had, but now I’m not sure… Still, I don’t think there’s any reason why you couldn’t.” He tilted his head curiously. “Why’s this so important to you all of a sudden, anyway? Or is it private?”

“It’s private, yes,” said Peridot, quickly. It wasn’t exactly  _ that _ private since she had already spilled her feelings out to Zircon, but that had been somewhat inadvertent.

“Sure,” said Steven. 

Peridot worried that Steven could probably guess exactly why she was interested in fusion, but at least she didn’t have to say it out loud. “You’ve fused with a bunch of different Gems. What’s it like, anyway?”

“Are you sure these aren’t questions for Garnet? She’s kind of the fusion expert.”

“When Garnet talks about fusion, it’s all ‘love is the answer’ and ‘channel the collective power of butterflies’ and nothing that actually helps. I need  _ scientific _ answers, Steven.”

“You’re coming to  _ me _ for scientific answers?”

“I-- well--” Peridot didn’t really have a good answer for that. “See, that’s why it’s so important that a Peridot like me learns how to fuse, so the experience can be documented empirically!”

“Right,” said Steven, dubiously. “Well, did you want to try fusing?”

Peridot had prepared herself for this, but on the other hand, she really hadn’t prepared herself for this. “Well, yes. Maybe. If you think it would help.”

Steven shrugged. “There’s no way you’re going to find out for sure unless you do it, right? And like you said, I’ve fused with a lot of different Gems. Humans, too.” 

“Would I… still be me?” she asked, tentatively. This was the part that had concerned her the most.

“Kind of,” said Steven. “You’re you, but also you’re a different person, who is also partly you. It’s hard to explain unless you’ve done it. It isn’t bad, though. Sometimes it’s nice… to be someone else for a while.”

There was something sad behind his words that Peridot didn’t quite understand.

“Let’s try it, then,” she said, mustering her determination and getting to her feet. If she thought about it too hard, she knew she’d lose her nerve, just like the time Garnet had offered years ago.

“Okay!” said Steven, also getting to his feet. “Technically, you’re supposed to dance. So, um, how do you normally dance?”

“Remember when I danced at the Little Homeworld Ball?”

Steven’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, yeah, that was… something. Maybe let’s not do that. There are other ways you can fuse!”

“Like what?”

“Fusion is really about being in sync with the other Gem. Dancing can help with that, but it’s mostly about your emotions.”

Peridot looked down. “I’m not sure I’m any better with emotions than I am with dancing. Maybe this is a bad idea.”

“No, no!” Steven laughed. “You have a lot of emotions, you’re just…”

“Just what?”

“Not always great at expressing them? Sorry, that sounds kind of bad.”

“No, that’s fair,” said a deflated Peridot. If she were good at expressing her emotions she probably wouldn’t be having this painfully awkward conversation right now.

“Maybe I can work with that,” said Steven, gears clearly turning in his head. “How would you say you’re feeling right now?”

Peridot blushed. “Well, nervous, I guess. Awkward. Wondering if this is a really bad idea. Determined to go through with it anyway?”

Steven nodded. “Nervous but determined. That doesn’t seem so hard to sync with, actually. Here.” He offered his hand.

Peridot only hesitated a split second before taking it. Steven surprised her by whirling her around at high speed.

“Steven, this isn’t dancing!” Peridot said, alarmed.

“Right, it isn’t,” Steven laughed. “You can back out if you want. No pressure.”

“No.” Peridot was determined to see this through. If she didn’t, she’d be driven crazy wondering. 

Next thing she knew, she was careening face first into the kitchen island.

“Ow! Steven, did you -- Peridot, what? --”

The brand new fusion only existed for approximately five seconds in a state of shock before suddenly defusing. Steven and Peridot were sitting on the floor across from each other, Peridot’s eyes wild. “It worked!”

“I guess so!” said Steven. “See, I told you you could probably fuse.”

Peridot scrambled to her feet and grabbed Steven by the shoulders. “It worked! I can’t believe it worked!”

“Yeah, we--”

“We have to try that again,” said Peridot, thoughts moving much faster than she could properly process. “I didn’t even get a chance to see what we looked like! Or check if we have any cool new powers! Oh, and our fusion could probably shapeshift, and make that cool bubble shield, and  _ eat. _ We  _ have _ to try that again!”

“All right, all right,” said Steven, laughing. “We were pretty unstable, though. We’ll have to work on that.”

“I’m not unstable,” said Peridot, hurt. 

“No, I mean the fusion was unstable. That’s why it fell apart so quickly. I have an idea, though, if we can keep from immediately collapsing.”

Peridot nodded. “Okay.”

She took Steven’s hand again, and they whirled around a second time, and once again the very first thing their fusion did was slam face first into the kitchen island.

“Ow,” said the new fusion, rubbing at their nose. 

_ Peridot, are you okay? _

Now that she was somewhat more prepared for it, having Steven’s voice suddenly inside her head was not immediately panic inducing. 

_ I think so, _ she said, determined to actually hold on to the fusion this time. It didn’t seem quite right, though. Wasn’t a fusion supposed to be a merge of the two of them and not just having Steven in her brain?

_ You’re doing great! _ said Steven, and she could actually feel his encouragement, and  _ oh stars, _ knowing intellectually what fusion was like was really not adequate preparation for actually feeling another Gem’s emotions.

_ Steven, uh… I think I can kind of feel your emotions. That’s normal, right? Does that mean you’re feeling emotions from me? _

_ I feel a big knot of anxiety, does that seem right? _

_ Yes, that’s accurate. _ The knowledge that Steven could actually feel her anxiety was not at all helping with said anxiety. 

_ Is this what it would be like for Lapis if we fused? _ she thought.  _ Just a big ball of stress attached to Lapis? That’s the last thing she needs. Oh stars, can Steven read that thought? Did he hear me think about fusing with Lapis? Think about literally anything else, Peri. Boring maintenance tasks. Special Vampire Unit. Flame Symbol. Lapis. Ugggggh. _

If Steven could hear her thinking about Lapis, he didn’t seem to acknowledge it. The fusion held their hand up in front of their face. Their hand was white, flickering and glitching.  _ We’re only partially fused, _ thought Steven.  _ There’s supposed to be like -- a third personality, that’s formed from both of us. They’re not here yet. _

_ How do we do that? _

_ Well, Garnet would say that you just have to let go. _

Peridot was afraid of that. “Letting go” was not exactly her strong suit. She was less of a “go with the flow” kind of Gem and more of a “bend the laws of nature to her will” kind of Gem.

_ Garnet also taught me something that might help, though, _ Steven continued.  _ Watch this. _

_ Watch…? _ Before Peridot could formulate an actual answer, she found herself experiencing a memory so vividly she could have sworn it was her own. It was a simple memory of sitting on the beach, sun overhead, listening to the crashing waves and noodling around on a ukelele. Attached to the memory was a sensation of joy and contentment -- but also melancholy and a deep longing for times past.

That latter feeling was especially jarring to Peridot. She occasionally got a bit nostalgic for her time at the barn, but before that was a couple thousand years of inspecting kindergartens and repairing spaceships. It hadn’t all been terrible, and she had a few of what might be considered “good memories,” but nothing especially worth getting nostalgic over considering what she had  _ now. _

She didn’t fully understand why this memory made Steven so sad. Couldn’t he still sit on the beach just like that? Why did it feel so much like something that had gone away forever?

Peridot could sense Steven sensing her thought process, and wow, that was strange.

_ Fusions can share memories, just like that, _ Steven explained.  _ It can help stabilize an unstable fusion. Something about helping the fusion to understand themselves. _

Peridot didn’t really understand that at all, but if all it took was sharing a memory, that seemed simple enough. Without even realizing  _ how _ she was doing it, she chose a memory of her own that seemed suitably nostalgic -- a warm summer evening when she sat on the roof of the barn stargazing with Lapis.

Too late, she remembered that she was supposed to avoid thinking about Lapis, but at least that memory seemed harmless.

Peridot could feel Steven’s genuine appreciation of the beauty of the night sky in her memory, and was pleased with herself for picking a good one. Before she could think anything else, another memory came her way -- this one was Empire City, all flashing neon lights and moving shop window displays and a constant crush of people and noises everywhere. It was chaotic and exciting, and the memory was filled with anticipation.

Peridot, trying to match feelings -- they were supposed to sync, right? -- sent back something equally chaotic -- a memory from one of her favorite jobs, when she worked at a large spaceship depot right in the heart of a Homeworld hub. The memory was a massive tangle of color and light, Gems dashing around and attending to every kind of spaceship imaginable. 

If there was anything on Homeworld she could be nostalgic for, it would be a time like that, when she had a job she mostly enjoyed and felt like she knew exactly what she was doing.

Steven returned a water fight with Greg in front of the car wash. Peridot sent a one-sided water “fight” with Lapis in their garden. Teaching a batch of fresh Gems about Earth at Little Homeschool. Teaching Zircs about plants in the greenhouse. Helping Bismuth with a project in her forge. Also helping Bismuth with a project in her forge. A memory of playing  _ Pizza Kart _ with Peridot and Lapis. The same memory, of playing  _ Pizza Kart _ with Steven and Lapis.

The fusion smiled at the fond memory, then realized with some surprise that they did, in fact, exist. They expressed this surprise by yelping, leaping to their feet, losing their balance, and stumbling backwards into the coffee table. 

The pain incurred did nothing to dampen the new fusion’s excitement at finally existing. They looked down at themselves -- they were wearing a puffy beige sweatshirt with a big yellow star and four sleeves for four arms, and darker brown tights, also decorated with yellow stars. The round gemstone in their stomach was clear with streaks of gold running through it.

Rutilated Quartz.

The Steven half expressed some concern, and it took them a second to realize that they were somehow smaller than Peridot. This concern was immediately brushed away by the fusion.  _ Small size just helps you go faster! _

There was mild distress from Steven’s side and excitement from Peridot’s side as neither of them seemed to understand what they needed to go faster  _ for. _ Well, there was certainly no time to waste  _ explaining _ when instead they could be going for a test drive.

Rutilated Quartz burst out of the beach house and was all the way to the boardwalk before either of their components were even able to fully process that last thought.

They grinned, looking back at the distance they had covered, sea breeze blowing through their hair. They took a brief stretch on the beach to warm up -- this was their first time existing, and who knows when they’d ever exist again, so they’d better make the most of this and try out their capabilities. 

They were dimly aware that their components were just now realizing the  _ super speed _ thing. They were painfully slow. How did they even live like that? They kind of felt bad for them, in a way.

Rutilated Quartz rolled all four of their shoulders, one after the other, then took off at top speed on a lap around Beach City, nearly upending a balloon cart on the way. Even with the fraction of a second delay caused by dodging, the full lap couldn’t have taken more than ten seconds. Momentarily satisfied, their gaze was then drawn upward to the hill above the Temple.

Steven had floating powers, right?

In less than a second, Rutilated Quartz had launched themself directly off the cliff at high speed, cheering as they used Steven’s gravity manipulation to make sure the fall into the ocean wasn’t  _ too _ painful. They landed in the water with a noisy splash, immediately kicking their legs like a motor to break the surface. “That was  _ awesome!” _ the fusion shouted to no one in particular as the waves brought them back in.

They, of course, immediately went to do it again.

This time, as they sailed over the beach, they saw something bright pink and dark blue below them. They had almost no time to figure it out as they flew through the air and into the water again. 

They only realized what they had seen when they washed back up onto the beach and almost directly into Garnet’s feet.

“Hi!” Rutilated Quartz squeaked in alarm, form glitching out a bit as they sprang backwards, landing in the salt water again. They were getting relief from the Steven half and insecurity from the Peridot half, couldn’t understand the reason for either of them, and so ignored them both, which caused their form to glitch even more badly.

Garnet, for her part, was looking at them with a grin of pure glee. Seemingly unable to contain herself any longer, she scooped them up from the water and into a boisterous hug.

“Oh my stars, look at you! I don’t believe it!”

Garnet’s enthusiastic embrace was nearly crushing the little fusion. “I kind of don’t believe it, either, to be honest!”

Garnet set them back down on the sand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. You have to tell me your name.”

“I’m, um. I’m a Rutilated Quartz? That just kind of came to me. Is that how it works? You just know your name even if you haven’t seen a Gem type like that before oh actually I think maybe Peridot saw a Gem like that in a kindergarten once and that’s why we knew also hey we needed to ask you why are we small is that supposed to happen or did we do something wrong --”

“Hey, slow down!” Garnet laughed. “I can’t understand you when you get going like that.”

“Oh,” said Rutilated Quartz, with mild frustration. They supposed if they were going to hold a conversation with other Gems they’d have no choice but to reign it in a little. Best to get straight to the point. “I’m Rutilated Quartz. I have super speed. It’s nice to meet you.”

Garnet’s eyes were shining. “Super speed! I could definitely see that from the way you flew into the ocean. That’s a rare and impressive power.”

Rutilated Quartz absolutely beamed with delight. “It’s awesome, right?!”

“If you have a weapon you can summon, I’d love to see it.”

Rutilated Quartz practically shrieked. “Oh my stars, I can summon a weapon!” With a flourish, they produced something that unfolded into a circle like Steven’s shield, but then jutted outward into a point -- “It’s a  _ drill! _ That’s  _ so cool _ . Oh, I bet if I get going fast enough I could use this to burrow straight into a mountain and make some sort of awesome tunnel / cave complex like a  _ super ultra deluxe _ secret lair and --”

“That’s great!” Garnet laughed. “But before you go off burrowing into a mountain, I should warn you that you’re still a bit unstable. I can see you flicker when you move.”

The fusion looked down at their hands in irritation. Sure enough, she could see a faint glitchy afterimage. “That’s because my component Gems are too slow to keep up! They need to get with the program. How do you do it?”

Garnet crouched down so she could look at Rutilated Quartz eye-to-eye. “Fusion is a collaboration. A fusion that doesn’t form their own mind separate from their component Gems will quickly fall apart. But that doesn’t mean you can just ignore everything your components are telling you -- that will simply cause a different kind of instability. It’s a bit like ignoring critical wants and needs. You can do that for a while, but it’s not sustainable.”

Ignoring critical wants and needs… that generated multiple internal pangs of recognition. “Hm, fine. Whatcha think I should do about it?”

“Well, what do you want?”

That was relatively easy. “To go as fast as possible and try a lot of new things!”

“And what do your components want?”

“Uh…” Rutilated Quartz flickered dangerously as Steven completely stonewalled even the slightest thought on this question. 

_ Steven…? _ Peridot was actually disturbed by how quickly Steven shut down such an innocent-seeming question.

_ It’s nothing. What do you want, Peridot? _

There was one main thing, and Peridot was trying not to think about it.

A split-second later, she was sitting on the beach.

“I told you that you were unstable.”

“You can’t just ask something like ‘what do you want?’” said Peridot, irritated. “That’s a very complicated and sometimes private question!”

“Yeah, that’s…” Steven was rubbing the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “That’s kind of a lot to ask a person to figure out out of the blue.”

Garnet was making that facial expression that was kind of unreadable but also clearly conveyed they had done something wrong. “I didn’t mean what you want on a philosophical level. I just meant go do something fun, like go play a game or something.”

“Oh,” both Steven and Peridot said.

Peridot thought. She had a number of personal projects that could probably benefit from super speed, especially now that working on that cloddy Agate’s list was bound to take up some of her future free time. In fact, there was clearly  _ one _ project in particular that she’d like to make progress on. She could probably get the fusion to work on the art studio without cluing Steven into too much of the context, right?

“I’ve got the perfect thing,” said Peridot, clapping her hands together. She turned to Steven. “Wanna help me build something?”

“Well, all right,” said Steven, holding out his hand again.

Now that the fusion had previously existed, it was much easier for them to coalesce again. “All right! Building stuff!” They grinned and cracked their knuckles.

“I’d like to know what you’re building,” said Garnet, a hint of suspicion in her voice.

“It’s a secret!” said Rutilated Quartz quickly. “Well, except to the Gems who already know, which is a carefully curated set. Don’t worry, it’ll be something cool.”

“I wasn’t worried about --”

Rutilated Quartz had already dashed off at top speed to Little Homeworld before Garnet could finish what she was going to say.

* * *

“Bismuth!” 

Bismuth dropped her hammer in surprise as the tiny Gem sprinted into her forge, failed to come to a complete stop and slid into a pile of I-beams.

“Are you okay?” she asked in alarm.

“I’m fine,” said Rutilated Quartz, dusting themself off. “Guess who this is!”

“I don’t -- have we met?” asked Bismuth, confused. “No, wait -- you’re a fusion, right? Let’s see…. definitely Peridot, and… Steven?”

“Yes!” said Rutilated Quartz, astonished. “How’d you know so fast?”

“Your clothes look like Steven’s t-shirt and you’ve got a big triangular Gem on your forehead.”

“That last one doesn’t prove anything, lots of Gems have that.”

Bismuth gave them A Look. “Yeah, you also came running into my forge so fast you hurt yourself. You’re Peridot.”

Rutilated Quartz scowled. “Fine. Yes. That’s it. Anyway, Garnet told me to go do a thing so I’m going to work on the morp studio! You should come, I’m going to need someone to do heavy lifting, I don’t think I have a lot of upper arm strength because  _ for some reason _ I’m very small even though I’m a fusion and hey I forgot that I was going to ask Garnet about that --”

Bismuth laughed. “Yeah, that can happen. And sure, I’ll help you. Just let me finish up here, okay?”

“Okay, bye!” Rutilated Quartz was gone the second Bismuth finished her sentence.

* * *

Rutilated Quartz couldn’t get over the sheer joy of running at top speed through the hills surrounding Little Homeworld, sun on their face and wind in their hair. It was almost like flying. If they accidentally ran into a few trees on the way, that was just the price to pay for speed.

They reached the site of the little morp studio, where a foundation had already been laid and the rough framing was already in place. The next step was probably the plumbing and the electrical lines. Rutilated Quartz picked up and activated one of the handful of robonoids that Peridot had left at the site so that they could view the current plans.

They clapped their hands in joy. This was going to be  _ so great. _

Working on the morp studio as a means of stabilizing was turning out to be a good idea. There were few things Peridot loved more than throwing her full concentration into creating something, and Steven appreciated the beautiful day and getting to help out with something different.

Rutilated Quartz felt useful and content.

“Hey, you!” Bismuth waved as she walked through the woods to the clearing, her footsteps crackling as she snapped twigs and leaves.

“Bis! There you are!”

“I didn’t even get your name before you ran off, you know,” she said, laughing. “You are one fast Gem. I’m guessing you already know that.”

“Yeah! And, uh, I’m Rutilated Quartz.”

“Hmm, that’s a mouthful. We’re gonna need a nickname here. How about… Tilly?”

“That’s awful!” said the fusion, cheerfully. “But it’s faster to say and therefore better. I’m cool with it!”

“So, what are you up to?” asked Bismuth.

“I’m working on the electrical wiring,” said the newly christened Tilly.

“You know how to do that?”

“Uh, yeah,” said Tilly, with a “no kidding” tone in their voice. “I mean, Peridot knows how to do that.”

“Just checking!” Bismuth threw her hands up playfully. “Knowledge doesn’t always transfer cleanly from components to fusion, you know.”

“Right, I knew that,” said Tilly. Tilly did not, in fact, know that. Still, the work they had done so far seemed fine.

“You’ve made a lot of progress in the time it took for me to get out here,” said Bismuth. 

Tilly nodded eagerly. “At this pace, I’d be done in no time! And then I’d finally get to --”

Peridot recoiled in sudden alarm from what the fusion had just been about to say. The jolt caused the nicely stabilized fusion to break, Steven looking surprised to find himself suddenly sitting on the grass.

“Sorry!” said a fiercely blushing Peridot. “I just… uh…”

Steven sighed. “Peridot, I already know you have feelings for Lapis.”

“I-- what?” Peridot stammered. “Oh stars, I knew this whole fusion thing was going to have unintended consequences.”

“Not because of the fusion. I just… knew that.” Steven rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry, Peri, you’re maybe a  _ little _ obvious.”

Bismuth snorted, then let out a soft chuckle, then couldn’t hold back the laughter any more. “Peri, did you really think Steven wouldn’t have realized that?”

Peridot felt as though her face were on fire. “Why are my feelings apparently obvious to everyone but me?!”

Bismuth put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “That’s just how it is sometimes. Don’t worry, someday you’ll probably get to tease me about the same thing someday.”

Peridot was suddenly reminded about how Lapis was utterly convinced that Bis and Pearl had something going on between them. “Uh, yeah.”

“My afternoon schedule’s already basically shot,” said Steven. “If you’re still going to work on the project, can I stick around and help? Not fused or anything, just me. It’s kind of nice to be out here where…”

“Where what?”

“Nothing. Just away from the… everything.”

Peridot wished she understood a little better why Steven seemed so sad lately. 

Bismuth seemed to have a somewhat better handle on it. She put her arm around Steven’s shoulders. “Nothing wrong with wanting to get away from it all, Steven. C’mon, I’ll show you a few things about how to install plumbing.”

* * *

“Lapis, I’m back!” Peridot called out. 

Lapis was sitting in the hammock, reading a manga. “Hi, Peri! How was Steven?”

“Oh, he was fine,” said Peridot. “He needed help with his phone, but then we were just hanging out.”

“Well, you seem like you’re in a really good mood.”

Peridot shrugged, trying to contain her excitement. “I hadn’t seen Steven in a while. It was good to catch up.”

“Cool,” said Lapis. “By the way, you broke Zircs.”

“I broke…?” Peridot looked over to the couch, where Zircon was still playing  _ Flame Symbol. _ She had an entirely new party from the point where Peridot had left her, and they were all decked out in impossibly flashy armor. The character in front was floating above the ground and constantly on fire. “Wow, that is impressive. Maybe she was right about the pairings after all.”

“You should probably do something about this, you know.”

“Why? I’m not her keeper.”

Lapis raised an eyebrow. “You kind of are, though? And this is definitely your fault.”

Peridot had to concede the point. “Fine,” she said, sitting down next to Zircon on the couch.

“Hey, Zircs, how are the sword children?”

“Oh, Peri, I’m glad you’re here,” she said. “I can’t decide whether I want to duel-class Ella in Healing Wind  _ and _ Temporal Mastery, or just stick to the healing discipline.”

“I don’t even know who Ella is, or what those classes are.”

“Oh, this is the third generation.”

“There’s a third generation?”

“I’ve optimized all of the third generation children for high attack and magic, except for Kal, who has special abilities that allow him to tank everything.”

“That’s great,” said Peridot, and she couldn’t believe what she was about to say, “but don’t you have work to do?”

“I’ll say!” said Zircon. “I still have to grow an optimal mythril-quality turnip so I can recruit Orla in Chapter Sixteen.”

Stars, she really  _ had _ broken Zircs. “Hey, can I see the controller for a second? I want to take a look at your party composition.”

“Oh, sure,” said Zircon, happily handing it over and pulling up a spreadsheet on one of her screens.

Peridot quickly saved the game -- she wasn’t a  _ monster, _ after all -- and then unplugged the game console.

“Peri, what -- ?” said Zircon, surprised.

“Sorry, had to rescue you.”

Zircon blinked twice, as though emerging from a trance, then pinched the bridge of her nose. “How long was I playing that infernal game?”

“Do you really want to know the answer to that?”

“I have so much work I need to get done!”

“Oh good, you’re not permanently broken.”

“This is  _ your _ fault,” she said, jabbing an accusing finger at Peridot.

“That’s fair.”

“I need to get back to the office,” said Zircon, standing up. “Thanks for cheering me up. I think.”

“Wait, I’m coming with you!” said Peridot.

“Oh no, haven’t you been distracting enough?”

“I --” Peridot cast a meaningful glance at Lapis and lowered her voice. “I just want to talk about something real quick.”

“Well, okay,” said Zircon, picking up on the hint.

“I’ll be right back, Lapis!” Peridot called as she and Zircon exited the lair.

“Okay,” said Lapis, not looking up from her manga.

Peridot could barely contain herself for the amount of time it took to get in the elevator.

“Peri, you’re vibrating. You look like you’re about to explode. Are you okay?”

“I did it!” Peridot practically shrieked, as soon as she knew she was out of earshot of Lapis. “I did it, I did it!”

“You did what?”

“I fused! I fused with Steven!”

“Are you serious?!”

“Yessss!” Peridot bounced up and down in glee.

“That’s amazing!” Zircon grinned. “I’m really happy for you! And pretty relieved that you aren’t going to try to perform some kind of radical gem-ectomy on yourself.” Her grin faded a bit. “You’re not, right? Now that you know you can fuse?”   


“Well, it still has a lot of potential --”

“Peri!"

“Hey, you promised that you weren’t going to try and stop me!”

“I know, but--” said Zircon, helplessly.

“It’s fine. You’re right.”

“I am?” She seemed surprised.

“Now that I know I can fuse, I have other, more important projects I could be working on. Projects that carry less risk of irrevocable gem damage.”

Zircon slumped over. “That is honestly  _ such _ a relief.”

“Pfft. You worry about me too much.”

“I worry about everything too much,” Zircon pointed out. “You just happen to be in my general vicinity.” She looked thoughtful. “So what was fusing with Steven like, anyway?”

Peridot grinned. “Fast!”

“Fast? What in the stars does that mean?”

“They have super speed, Zircs! It’s  _ so much fun.” _

“Wait, wait, super speed? This fusion, which is  _ half you, _ has super speed? That’s… terrifying.”

“What?! It’s awesome! How is it terrifying?”

“Peri, how often do you crash into things face first when you  _ don’t _ have super speed?”

“I--” Peridot scowled. “I’m very resilient, okay? It’s fine.”

Zircon was rubbing at her temples. “It’s a lucky thing you’re resilient, or you’d be shattered a thousand times over.”

“C’mon, try not to look so freaked out,” said Peridot, walking backwards in front of Zircon. “Today was a great day! I learned how to fuse, and Steven and Bis helped me with the morp studio! Later I’m gonna go work on some of the maintenance tasks on that stupid list so we don’t get the Diamonds on our cases. All of this is gonna work out, okay?” Peridot spread her arms wide, and then immediately tripped backwards over a rock.

Zircon held out her hand and pulled Peridot to her feet. “If you say so.”

“I know so!” She grinned. “And then once all of that’s done, we can get back to playing  _ Flame Symbol!” _

“Oh, no. I am  _ not  _ getting pulled into that black hole of a timesink again.”

“Fine,” Peridot shrugged. “Then I’ll just go into our save file and change everyone back to the Squire class and--”

Zircon let out a strangled squeal. “No, you wouldn’t -- I had everything lined up for -- I had _plans_ \-- !” She made a series of frustrated hand gestures while searching for a response. “Fine.  _ Flame Symbol _ later. Much later, once we both get work done.”

“Deal!”

* * *

_ It’d need to take place in Little Homeworld, right in the center of town. We’d decorate the entire square with flowers -- flowers we grew in the garden together. That would be  _ extremely  _ symbolic. We’d invite pretty much everyone, or at least all the cool Gems and humans.  _

Peridot was doing some routine maintenance on the solar cores deep below Little Homeworld. It was maintenance that she had put off for the last couple of weeks, and predictably the solar cores had shown up on that obnoxious list of things that “weren’t safe.” She knew the cores like the back of her hand, considering she was the Gem who designed the structures, and knew very well that delaying a bit of maintenance wasn’t going to endanger anyone. She wasn’t about to go explain that to Blue Diamond, though, and so here she was doing incredibly boring grunt work instead of working on her present for Lapis.

Hence, the elaborate daydream.

_ I’d do extensive research into human wedding attire so that my dress would be absolutely optimal. I bet Steven could help with that. He has that whole ridiculous wedding scrapbook. _

_ Lapis could be wearing an optimal dress, too, with a big flowing skirt and a flower crown.  _ Peridot blushed and grinned as she imagined it.  _ Or, wait. If I’m wearing a dress, does that mean she has to wear a suit? Stars, she’d look amazing in a suit. I can’t possibly decide. _

_ I’d need a wedding party, too. Bis and Zircs would be there, obviously. Bis would probably want to wear armor like she did at Garnet’s wedding. Maybe we could make some cool new wedding armor together. Zircs would wear a suit, I guess? She’s always wearing a suit. ...wow, I really can’t picture her in a dress. Yeah, a suit is fine. _

_ Amethyst should also be in the wedding party. I feel like I hardly ever see her any more. Stupid Little Homeworld classes. Stupid responsbilities. She had a great suit at Garnet’s wedding, so she could wear that. _

_ Garnet could be in the party too. She could wear… whatever she wants, really. So cool. I guess Pearl could also be there. _

_ Wouldn’t Lapis also need a wedding party? That’d be weird because she pretty much just knows all the same Gems I do. She could have half of mine. That’d be fair. _

_ Steven would be officiating because he’s a Diamond and basically our leader and all.  _

_ I’d say my vows. I’d have to come up with something perfect. I’d be like, “Lapis, you make me feel like the most important Gem in the universe. And you’re amazing and pretty and pretty amazing and...” _

Peridot scrunched up her nose as she tried and failed to come up with something good that would really let Lapis know how she felt. Fear of this exact kind of failure was exactly why she was building something for Lapis instead of trusting her words. Sapphire had had the best vows -- maybe she could ask Sapphire to help write hers?

_ Lapis would say her vows. She’d say something like, “Peri, I love you even when you’re not being useful.” I’d have to try really hard not to cry. _

_ Bis would have the rings. She’d have come up with something cool and symbolic. Water and metal coming together makes… rust. No, that’s terrible, Bis would have a better idea than that. She’d definitely be crying, like she was at Garnet’s wedding, because she’s a big sap. Zircs would be crying too. She’d be all like “I don’t understand these human wedding customs and also I’m a giant stick in the mud” to try to pretend she’s not also a big sap. _

_ And then we’d put the rings on and kiss! _

Peridot took her time imagining that part, gazing wistfully up into the tangle of wires and pipes feeding into one of the many banks of solar cores.

_ And I guess that’s the part where Ruby and Sapphire fused into Garnet. _

Peridot smiled and imagined herself fusing with Lapis for the millionth time. What would they look like? How tall would they be? What would it feel like to control water? What would it feel like to fly -- not on top of a trash can lid, but with their own wings? 

Most importantly, what would their merged personality even be like?

“Peridot!” 

Peridot banged her head painfully on one of the overhead conduits as she turned around. “Ugh, 2PK. What is it?”

The other Peridot crossed her arms and glared. Presenting the Agate’s list to the colony’s other two Peridots for help had been the worst part of this little lawsuit stunt. Dottie had been terribly excited to have something to work on, not seeming to fully grasp what was happening, but 2PK had favored her with a massive eyeroll and “I told you so.”

She was a busy Gem, none of these items were especially egregious, and Peridot did  _ not _ need 2PK’s sass, now or ever.

“Dottie hit a problem she says is serious,” said 2PK. “I tried to take a look, but she insisted it had to be you. I don’t think she likes me very much.”

“Yeah, 2PK, that’s probably because you hate her and remind her that you hate her constantly.”

2PK shrugged. “Could have something to do with it. Anyway, we’re not getting out of here until you go shut her up, so hop on that, Chief Technician.”

It really was impressive how 2PK could bind up so much condescension into simply calling Peridot by her title. Peridot quickly used her powers to gather up her tools from around the area and snap them back on her tool belts, making a point to show off in front of 2PK, who had only attempted ferrokinesis once and had immediately given up.

Peridot followed 2PK through the narrow passageways in the solar core maintenance corridors, finally reaching Dottie. She somehow had her whole face and body covered in scuff marks even though there should be nothing dirty down here, and her tools looked like they had exploded everywhere. As soon as she spotted Peridot and 2PK approaching, she began to wave them down in a panic.

“Peridot! Oh, Peridot, thank the stars you’re here. One of the main valves is corroded almost all the way through. I’m worried it’s about to blow!”

A bolt of panic surged through Peridot, but she pushed it down. She checked the sector name and pulled up the last maintenance report. “That can’t possibly be right. I personally checked all of the main valves less than six months ago and there was no degradation whatsoever. We haven’t gotten any alerts from this sector, either. There’s no way a seal can go from perfect to corroded that quickly.”

“Well, it  _ did,” _ said Dottie. “If you don’t believe me, go take a look.”

Peridot flipped down her goggles and pulled herself up into the valve access. The seal did indeed look fine, just as it certainly had the last time she had checked -- except for what appeared to be one small flaw where the material had blackened and was vibrating dangerously.

As Peridot looked at it, trying to fully process what she was seeing, an impossibly hot jet of liquid metal shot through the leak in the seal. Peridot only was able to dodge it by pure instinct, reflexively bending the metal away from her body.

“Out! Out out out!” she shrieked, backing out of the access panel as fast as she could and using her powers to pull down its door. “Everyone out! We need to put up the shielding and shut down this sector as quickly as possible!”

“Are you serious?!” said 2PK. Dottie was nowhere to be found.

“Where’s Dottie?!”

“She ran already.”

Peridot frantically shoved 2PK down the hall and slammed a bright red emergency button with her fist. Walls of insulating material several feet thick sealed off the hallway just in time to muffle the sounds of small explosions.

“Did the valve actually burst? Right while you were in the access panel?” 2PK looked genuinely shaken, a far cry from her usual attitude.

“Yeah,” said Peridot, knees unexpectedly giving out. If she hadn’t been able to bend that metal away from her, it would’ve hit her and probably forced her to poof -- and she really didn’t want to know if it was actually possible for a Peridot’s gem to survive the inside of a solar core meltdown.

“That whole sector is going to be slag,” said 2PK.

“That’s why we have redundancies,” said Peridot, unsuccessfully trying to keep the terror from shaking her voice. “Power to the city will be fine. We’ll just have to build a replacement for this one elsewhere.”

“How could that have happened?” said 2PK, her voice shaking as well. “No alerts, last check was completely fine. In thousands of years, I have never seen anything like that.”

“We have to check all the other valves as quickly as possible,” said Peridot, struggling to her feet. “If the alert system is somehow failing, things could get bad real quick.”

For once, 2PK didn’t argue. “Right. We can’t tell anyone about this, either. The Diamonds will have us harvested.”

Harvesting was outlawed, of course, but Peridot didn’t feel the need to correct her. If word about this failure got out, there would be panic in Little Homeworld at exactly the time when her position had just been called into question by that prosecutor’s stunt. If 2PK was willing to keep quiet -- and since she also routinely worked on the solar cores, there was no reason for her not to cooperate -- Peridot would most certainly not be the one to spill.

It felt dirty. It felt  _ Homeworld _ \-- covering up a mistake for fear of reprisal. 

She’d been an Earth Gem for only a handful of years out of her thousands. Surely she was allowed to have a moment every now and then.

Through a combination of expertise and sheer desperation, 2PK and Peridot made very quick work of checking every other critical valve in the solar cores, finding nothing even slightly out of the ordinary. When she had finished checking the last sector, she collapsed, exhausted, into a bush just next to the access panel. 

That corrosion in the seal -- the vision of that was going to haunt her. Something like that happening even with alerting systems and routine maintenance simply shouldn’t be possible. It was a Peridot’s worst nightmare, the kind of things she would hear talked about in hushed tones while working in remote colonies, stories of Peridots meeting their ends in the most gruesome ways.

It was also yet another thing she was going to have to keep hidden. She was accumulating a few too many of those.

As if on cue, her phone buzzed.

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Say, Peri, you weren’t going to tell Lapis about the whole “fusing with Steven” thing right away, were you?

**PERI5XG:** OF COURSE NOT

**PERI5XG:** WHY

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Because if you didn’t want her to find out, you probably shouldn’t have run straight through the middle of Little Homeworld.

**PERI5XG:** OH

**PERI5XG:** OH SLAG

**CourtLawyerZircon:** You should probably also know that she was in my office, attempting to get me to tell her what you’re up to.

**PERI5XG:** YOU DIDN’T TELL HER RIGHT

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Of course not!

**CourtLawyerZircon:** She did threaten to suspend me upside down over the ocean, but she wasn’t terribly serious about it.

**PERI5XG:** YOU WOULDN’T TELL HER EVEN IF SHE DID DO THAT, RIGHT?!!?

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Sometimes you seem determined to make my life very difficult. You know that?

**PERI5XG:** OKAY LOOK

**PERI5XG:** I’LL JUST HAVE TO FIND HER AND DO

**PERI5XG:** DAMAGE CONTROL OR SOMETHING?

**PERI5XG:** STARS I DON’T EVEN KNOW I’M SO TIRED

**CourtLawyerZircon:** Are you okay?

**PERI5XG:** I’VE BEEN OKAYER

**CourtLawyerZircon** : Well, Lapis is probably not coming back to my office any time soon.

**CourtLawyerZircon:** If you need a place to melt down, my couch is a reasonable place to do so.

**PERI5XG:** YES PLEASE

  



	7. Zircon Undergoes Maintenance

After having spent the better part of a day consumed with outfitting spiky-haired teenage children with weapons, Zircon was more than ready to get back to her usual work. She sat down at her desk, pulled up a draft of a critical new proposed reform that she needed to edit, and…

Her chair wasn’t quite exactly how she liked it. She fiddled with the chair’s controls, moving it up and down and pitching it forward and back, until she finally felt a little more comfortable.

Now, she could read the…

It was too quiet. Oppressively quiet.

She stood up and went over to the shelf where she kept a little rain sounds machine. Steven had given it to her as a “sixth month anniversary of not fleeing the Earth in terror” present, a gesture which she had found quite touching. She spent ten minutes cycling through every available setting until she had determined the optimal one for her current task.

There, now her office environment was unquestionably perfect and she had no further excuses to not settle in and edit this document.

Except, of course, that she still had far too many things rattling around in her mind.

She made a frustrated huff as she collapsed her screens. Despite Peridot’s reassurances, she just  _ knew _ there was more to that trial situation than an idiotic Agate and an overconfident prosecutor. She could feel it in her Gem, and she couldn’t stop herself from turning it over in her thoughts again and again.

Zircon shrieked as something slammed hard against her window. She turned around to see a very unhappy looking Lapis, and hit the button to open the window and let her in. “Lapis, that was entirely unnecessary--”

Lapis slammed her hands down on her desk. “Peridot fused with Steven. What do you know about this?”

“Um… nothing?” said Zircon, well aware of the beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

“You’re not that good of a liar.”

“You’re not that good of a bluffer.”

“You know, I could suspend you upside down over the ocean if I wanted.”

Zircon threw her hands up. “I don’t even know what information you’re looking for!”

“Hmph.” Lapis sat down on Zircon’s couch, arms crossed. “Garnet came by a few minutes ago. She was looking for Peri, because she wanted to make sure that she properly defused from Steven and was doing okay.”

“I assume she has, since we both just saw her not long ago.”

“Sure. But the point is, why did she fuse with Steven?”

“Well…” Zircon thought of what she could say that wouldn’t compromise the various promises she had made to Peridot. “Steven has a lot of experience fusing with a variety of different Gems, and seems to be quite adept at it. Peri also considers him a close friend and trusts him entirely.”

“I understand  _ why Steven. _ I don’t understand  _ why fusion.” _

“This really seems like a conversation you should be having with Peridot.”

“She’s working some kind of maintenance task right now. I’m not sure when she’ll be back.” Lapis glared. “And I know she tells you things she doesn’t tell me.”

Zircon suddenly felt extremely awkward. “I’m… sure she tells you many things she doesn’t tell me, as well.”

Lapis looked at the floor, not responding.

Zircon considered her options. Try to defuse the situation and be tactful? Or simply go to straight the heart of the matter?

“So are you upset that she didn’t fuse with you first?”

“Yes!” Lapis yelled. “I mean, I don’t even know if I ever want to fuse again, but -- I always thought maybe -- I don’t know! It’s complicated!”

Zircon felt a twinge of guilt. When she had suggested to Peridot that she try fusing with Steven, she had been thinking entirely of what would help Peridot get over her fear of not being able to fuse. She hadn’t considered how Lapis might feel about it. 

“Lapis, look, I don’t know what Peri’s motivations were...” This was, of course, a lie. “...but I’m absolutely certain she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings by doing this.” This was the truth.

“I know she didn’t,” said Lapis, her frustrating dissipating slightly. “It’s just that things have been so weird between us lately, and I’m not sure why. And now there’s this. I wish things could just be simple, you know?”

“Certainly,” said Zircon. The amount of drama in her life could definitely stand to be taken down a few notches.

“I wish I could just be happy for Peri without feeling all mixed up about it. Learning to fuse is a big deal! And Steven and Peridot together -- that must have been adorable. You didn’t see them, did you?”

“I already told you that I didn’t know about it.”

“And I already told you I don’t believe you.” Lapis smiled softly. “Even though I’m still not sure how I feel about it, I hope I get to meet this fusion someday.”

“Considering the fusion’s components, I’m sure they’d love to meet you, too,” said Zircon.

Lapis stood up. “There’s only one way to find out. I’m going to have to sit down and talk to Peridot about all this.”

_ Finally, _ thought Zircon, but she kept it to herself as she thought of a more diplomatic response. “I think that’s the right thing to do.”

Lapis went to head out the window, when she turned around. “Hey, Zircs?”

“What?”

“If Peri were up to something dangerous --  _ really _ dangerous -- and you knew about it, you wouldn’t keep that to yourself, right?”

This was not a line of questioning that Zircon was prepared for. “You’re not talking about the fusion? Because fusing with Steven doesn’t strike me as particularly dangerous.”

“No, not that. But if Peri were going to do something dangerous, you can’t keep that a secret, even if she tells you to.”

“That’s not fair, Lapis. You know how seriously I take confidentiality.”

Lapis was not happy with that answer. “All I’m saying is, if something were to happen to Peri, and you knew about it before, that’s at least a little on you.”

The rejuvenator. She had promised Peridot that she wouldn’t try to stop her. If she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have heard about Peridot’s plans at all. Besides, Peridot had said she was going to stop. She had done the right thing.

Hadn’t she?

“If Peri tells me something in confidence, and I break that confidence, then that is most definitely on me,” said Zircon.

Lapis looked like she was going to say something, but thought better of it. “Whatever. See you later.”

“See you.” Zircon flopped back into her chair as Lapis left. It was going to be one of those days where she felt like she hadn’t the slightest idea of what she was doing.

She pulled out her phone to text Peridot.

* * *

Peridot groaned as she entered Zircon’s office. She had scuff marks all over and a scrape across her visor. The points of her hair were so frayed it barely resembled a triangle.

“What in the stars happened to you?” Zircon asked, as Peridot deposited herself face-first onto the couch with a thump.

“Mmmmmggggggghhhhhh,” came the response, muffled by couch cushions.

Zircon fetched a blanket from a nearby cabinet and dropped it on top of Peridot, who immediately rolled herself up in it. “Does that help?”

“Yes.”

_ If something were to happen to Peri, and you knew about it before, that’s at least a little on you. _

“So… are you going to tell me why you look like you’ve been through a rock grinder?”

Peridot sighed. “I really shouldn’t tell you. You’re just going to worry.”

“I’m already worried!”

“That’s a fair point. There was an accident in one of the solar cores.”

Zircon’s eyes widened. “That sounds bad. Do we need to evacuate? Because I have my emergency bag --”

“We don’t need to evacuate! I knew it was a bad idea to tell you this. The sector with the accident has been contained, and we inspected all the rest, so everything’s… fine.”

“Everything’s fine,” said Zircon, “which is why you’re a visibly anguished cocoon right now.”

Peridot scowled. “I am not ‘visibly anguished!’ The solar cores are fine, really. It was just a close call. Too close.”

“How close?”

Peridot didn’t say anything, pulling the blanket tighter.

“How close, Peri?”

“I… could’ve had my gem caught in a solar core meltdown.” Peridot looked up. “Please don’t make that face. That’s a terrible face to make.”

“Because that’s an extremely distressing thing to say!” Zircon yelled. 

“Look, it’s fine. It didn’t happen, and I’m still here,” said Peridot, in a way that suggested she was trying to convince herself.

“But you could have died!”

“I know,” said Peridot, clearly still shaken. “It was a total fluke, a freak accident. 2PK and I inspected everything else to make sure it isn’t going to happen again. And you can’t tell anyone about this! If this gets back to the Diamonds, it’ll be more proof that I shouldn’t be Chief Technician.”

“I know the situation with the Diamonds right now is less than ideal, but I really don’t think you should be covering this up. At least, you should probably tell Steven. He isn’t going to fire you as Chief Technician because of one accident, especially if it wasn’t even your fault.”

“I’ll think about it,” said Peridot, seemingly not convinced. “So Lapis knows I fused with Steven, huh?”

“That’s not a subtle topic change.”

Peridot shrugged.

“Apparently, Garnet stopped by to check up on you, and talked to Lapis.”

“Oh,” Peridot was deep in thought. “How’d she take it?”

“I think she has a lot of conflicting feelings,” said Zircon. “She’s probably going to want to talk to you about it, which I think would be good for both of you.”

Peridot sighed. “Yeah, we should probably talk about it. She wasn’t mad or anything, right?”

“Not really,” said Zircon. “In fact, I think she may want to meet your fusion.”

“Oh yeah?” Peridot grinned. “That  _ was _ a lot of fun. I definitely need to get Steven to do that again. I want to fling myself off that cliff a few more times.”

“You flung yourself  _ off a cliff?” _

“In a very controlled, scientific manner!” 

Zircon facepalmed. 

“I bet Tilly would like to meet you too!”

“I’m sure they would,” said Zircon. “It sounds like they have the ability to give me a panic attack at twice the speed of you alone.”

“No way,” said Peridot. “Tilly is operating at at least five times my usual speed.”

“Of course they are.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Peridot clearly working through some things in her head. The only sound in the office was the “rainforest storm” coming from the speaker on the shelf.

“So… are you going to go talk to Lapis?”

“Yes,” said Peridot. “Really. But there’s something I need to take care of first.”

“You’re not just stalling, are you?”

“No, I’m honestly not!” said Peridot. “I’ve been putting off the routine maintenance of my robonoids for a couple of weeks, because I’ve been so busy. Considering what happened today, I think I should do it sooner rather than later. It should only take an hour or so, depending on how many problems I find.”

“That seems sensible,” said Zircon.

Peridot didn’t budge a single millimeter from her spot wrapped up on the couch. She was looking increasingly distressed.

“Is something wrong?” asked Zircon.

Peridot nodded.

“Are you still upset about what happened in the solar core?”

Peridot nodded.

“That’s very understandable, given what you went through.” Zircon considered. “This robonoid maintenance, is it at all dangerous?”

“No,” said Peridot. “It’s super easy.”

“Would you feel better if I came with you?”

“Yes!” Peridot nodded vigorously. “I just… really don’t want to be alone with my thoughts.”

“I know how that is,” said Zircon.

“I should go get my tools,” said Peridot, finally emerging from her blanket cocoon. “Can you meet me on the roof of this building in five minutes?”

“Five minutes,” repeated Zircon. “I’ll be there.”

* * *

“All right, here goes.” Peridot was holding a small remote control, and she dramatically pressed the largest button on it.

Zircon glanced around, expecting… something. “So that did…?”

“Wait for it!”

A moment later, the first of Peridot’s robonoids crawled up over the edge of the roof, followed by more and more, until there was an entire swarm of at least a hundred.

Zircon had seen the robonoids plenty of times, of course -- mostly from a distance, but often skittering around Peridot’s lair. There was also the time when Peridot had put one in her office to fix a leak and it didn’t actually leave for over a week. She gave it back to Peridot when she realized she had developed a habit of talking to it.

The robonoids clinked and clanked all around them. A group swarmed around Zircon’s feet, almost knocking her over. One climbed her legs and perched on her shoulder. “Peri, are they supposed to be doing this?”

Peridot had a robonoid planted right on top of the point of her hair. “They must think you need maintenance. Do you?”

“Oh, probably,” said Zircon, plucking the robonoid off of her and looking at it. “What do you think, little one? Do I need maintenance?” It chirped back at her.

“I thought you were going to stop talking to the robonoids,” said Peridot.

“I’m just being polite.” Zircon set the robonoid down. “So what am I helping you with, anyway?”

Peridot waded through the robonoids to show Zircon the one she was holding. “It’s easy. You press this button here for diagnostics, see?” When she pressed the button, a projected screen popped out of its visor, displaying a long list of items. A green checkmark appeared next to each one, presumably as it finished its diagnostic checks. At the end, a green box was displayed: PASSED. “If it passes, like this one, you can just press the diagnostic button again and let it go, and it’ll go back to its work.”

“What happens if it doesn’t pass?”

“You hand it to me, unless you want to learn how to fix them too.”

“That seems simple enough,” said Zircon. She picked one of the robonoids off the ground and pushed the button. All green. She resisted the urge to congratulate the robonoid as she sent it off.

Peridot frowned at the robonoid she was holding. “This one has a motor problem. That might be a pain to fix. I’m surprised it even made it up the building.” She looked around. “I bet we end up a few short. I’ve got an app that tracks them, so I’ll have to look for the missing ones once we finish up.”

“Makes sense,” said Zircon. She had gotten through another diagnostic check by the time she realized that Peridot was still staring forlornly at the robonoid with the broken motor. “Peri? Are you okay?”

“Yeah!” she said, snapping out of it. “It’s fine.” She set the broken robonoid aside and picked up another one.

“You don’t seem fine.”

“You know!” said Peridot, exasperated. “It’s just… you know. Everything.” She made a vague hand gesture.

“You know what you could use? A vacation.”

Peridot stared. “Wow. Coming from you, that is  _ something.” _

“I never claimed to take my own advice!” said Zircon.

“You’re right, though. I should take a vacation. There’s a lot of Earth to see.” She looked thoughtfully up into the sky. “Think Lapis would want to come with me? If I don’t screw everything up.”

“I kind of assumed Lapis would be your transportation,” said Zircon. “Where would you go?”

“Maybe one of those tropical resorts like I see on TV. We could sit on the beach. We could have a human bring us colorful drinks with little umbrellas in them.”

“I thought you couldn’t drink.”

“It’s for the  _ atmosphere, _ Zircs.”

“Still, a beach seems kind of similar to what we already have. We’re just down the street from Beach City. I bet you could get a human to make you an umbrella drink there.”

“That’s not the same! Beach City is not exotic,” said Peridot. “I can kind of see your point, though. I should pick something completely different from normal. What’s the opposite of a beach?”

“Um…”

“A ski chalet!”

“A ski chalet? Like in that episode of  _ Special Vampire Unit?” _

“Yeah! Less werewolf attacks, though,” said Peridot, enthusiastically. “We’d go to a ski chalet far up on some snowy mountain. Lapis would help me learn to ski, I’d hit a rock and break my leg, then we’d spend the rest of the vacation next to the fireplace while Lapis nurses me back to health.”

“I don’t think Gems can break their legs like humans can.”

Peridot set a squirming robonoid on the ground. “I’m trying to have a fantasy vacation here. Why do you have to keep ruining it by bringing up the laws of physics like a killjoy?”

“It’s like you’ve never met me, Peri.” Inwardly, she was quite pleased to get Peridot acting more like herself again. A red light blinked on the diagnostics screen of the robonoid Zircon was holding. “This one has a… warp fluid leak?” She realized that some sort of blue gunk was all over her hands. “Oh.”

“Don’t worry, it cleans off.” Peridot took the robonoid and handed her a cloth. “You know, you should go on a vacation too.”

“Even if I had the time, I wouldn’t know where to begin with something like that. Besides, I like it here. My office is here. My nice, safe office.”

Peridot sighed. “Ugh, boring! I’m just going to have to drag you somewhere new.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” Peridot thought about it. “Oh, I know what we should do! We should get on the bus to Empire City like a couple of human runaways!”

“What do you want to see in Empire City?”

“Lots of things!” said Peridot, throwing her arms out enthusiastically. “Steven told me all about it. There’s lots of people, and tall buildings, and shops, and theaters, and museums… Tons of human culture!”

“That does sound interesting.” Zircon smiled. “I’ll consider it. Maybe when things are less busy.”

“Whatever, you’re always busy. I’ll just have to kidnap you when you least expect it.”

“Impossible. I’m always expecting you to kidnap me.” Zircon pushed the diagnostic button on a robonoid, and was surprised when nearly everything on the list lit up with red Xs. “This robonoid seems to have almost everything wrong with it.”

“Really?” said Peridot.

“I like this one. I have days where I feel like everything possible is wrong with me, too.”

“I think I’m starting to know how that feels too,” said Peridot.

“Nonsense!” The defective robonoid squirmed in Zircon’s hands. “You’ve accomplished a great deal! A minor setback doesn’t --”

* * *

“Is it true you’re transferring to Earth?”

Blue Zircon Facet-2F12 Cut-6GN looked up at her colleague, who had come storming into her office without warning. “Yes. In fact, I’m leaving in just a few cycles.”

“Is your gem cracked?!” 3AQ demanded.

“It appears to be intact.”

“Well, there must be  _ something _ wrong with you if you’re transferring to Earth.”

6GN adjusted her monocle. “The new Diamond has given me a unique opportunity that I felt I couldn’t pass up.”

“New Diamond,” 3AQ said with contempt. “That so-called Diamond is  _ half-organic. _ There is no way that thing is a proper Diamond.”

“Blue Diamond said so herself. You aren’t questioning your Diamond, are you?”

“When my Diamond is holding up an organic as the savior of the Gempire, then yes, I have a lot of questions!”

“Some Gems would call that treason, you know.”

“You’d know a lot about treason, wouldn’t you, 6GN?” 3AQ fixed her with a withering stare.

6GN pushed back her anger. “Did you come here for a reason, or did you just want to make sure you got your insults in before I leave?”

“Believe it or not, I’m actually looking out for you,” said 3AQ. “Do you know what kind of things go on on Earth? They purposefully mix Gems of every caste together with organics. They even have cross-Gem fusions!”

“I’m well aware. All of that is covered in the informational literature.”

“Did the informational literature tell you that everyone who goes there goes insane?” said 3AQ. “I heard about this Citrine -- not some easily influenced lower Quartz, a  _ Citrine _ \-- she went to Earth just to see what it was like. The next time her colleagues saw her, she was wearing a decoration made of organic matter, dancing on the beach with a human!”

“Well, that was  _ her,” _ said 6GN, testily. “I happen to be going to Earth to do a job, not cavort with humans.”

“Sure, you say that now. Don’t say you weren’t warned.” 3AQ sighed. “Look, 6GN, you’ve always been a little bit…”

“Eccentric?” 6GN deadpanned.

“Yes, that is a very diplomatic way of putting it! Everyone was willing to overlook that because you got consistent results. If you want to repair your reputation back to what it used to be, transferring to Earth is precisely the wrong move.”

6GN sighed. “I suppose we’ll have to see, won’t we?”

“You’re really determined to do this, aren’t you?” said 3AQ. “Well, at least try not to end up fused to a Ruby.”

“Fused to a Ruby?”

“Don’t you know? There’s an elite Gem fused to a Ruby there. Can you imagine? I’d rather be harvested.”

“I’ll do my best to not trip over a rock and fall into a cross-Gem fusion,” said 6GN, dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, good luck with that.”

6GN watched 3AQ go, far less certain of herself than she had just outwardly projected. As much as she hated to acknowledge it, she had had many of those same thoughts, over and over again. Wouldn’t it be much safer to stay here and rebuild her career by taking whatever was assigned to her with grace? Wasn’t transferring to Earth just a formal method of running away? Could she even handle the Earth? Would she really be able to escape the madness that seemed to inflict most of the Gems that went there?

Maybe her gem really  _ was _ cracked.

* * *

Zircon opened her eyes. She was flat on her back, with a sunny, blue sky above her, dotted with puffy clouds. 

There was a loud ringing noise drowning out all other sound. It took her a moment to realize it was coming from inside her own head. Something… loud had had happened? It was taking a distressing amount of effort to string two coherent thoughts together, like… like an analogy for something that was really difficult.

Something was wrong. No, amend that last statement:  _ everything _ was wrong.

As the ringing noise mercifully began to subside, she heard Peridot’s voice close by.

“Okay. Okay. We’re on the roof. How far are you from a warp pad? It’s really bad, she’s not even responding to me. This is all my fault, you have to -- Two deep cracks, straight across. Yes! I know! I’ll try. I’ll try! I promise. Just hurry, okay?”

“Peri?” Her own voice sounded strange, like it was coming from far away.

“Zircs!” Peridot was kneeling next to her. There were tears in her eyes. “Whatever you do, don’t move!”

“What happened?” Her head was swimming, but she already knew she wasn’t going to like the answer to this question.

Peridot’s voice was shaky. “Your gem’s cracked. The robonoid you were holding, it just -- I’m not even sure. It was all so fast! But don’t panic! Steven’s going to come heal you. He’s just… less near to a warp pad than I hoped.”

“Cracked…?” A dull sense of terror was trying to claw its way to the forefront of her mind, as though a part of her knew that she should be panicking, but the rest of her couldn’t quite manage it at the moment.

“You’re going to be okay!” Peridot was trying to be reassuring, but there was far too much edge in her voice for that. “You  _ have _ to be okay. This is all my fault. I’m so sorry.”

There was a sharp pain in her gem as Zircon tried to come up with an adequate response. “I’ll… try to be okay?” 

Peridot nodded emphatically. “That’s right, you’d better.” She sat back, curling her knees tightly into her chest.

Zircon tried to push through the discomfort in her gem to process the situation. She had worked many cases involving deaths and injuries before. Cracks had varied effects depending on the type of Gem, but she couldn’t recall any cases where a Zircon had been cracked -- they were not in manual labor, and so this sort of injury was relatively rare. One thing was constant among all Gems: cracks inevitably led to incapacitation and shattering if not healed. Her fear bubbled up again.

“You’re thinking about this too much,” said Peridot. “You’re going to make things worse, you know.”

“But…”

“No buts! I’m just going to have to keep your mind off of anything unpleasant. Let’s see… let’s talk about the fun things we can do once Steven comes and heals you!”

Zircon didn’t particularly want to, but she was also in no condition to argue with Peridot about this. “Okay.”

“We have to finish  _ Flame Symbol, _ don’t forget!” She looked thoughtful. “We’re always doing the things I want to do. We should do something  _ you _ want to do.”

“But I like  _ Flame Symbol.” _

“I know.” Peridot uncurled slightly. “If you could do anything you want -- if you didn’t have work to worry about, or a Peridot bugging you to watch TV or whatever, what would you do?”

Zircon’s brow furrowed. “I guess… I’d reorganize my case records? I had this idea…” She trailed off as she realized that she was in no state whatsoever to remember her plans for her new organization system.

_ “Zircs.”  _ Peridot seemed annoyed. “I specifically said no work. Anything you want that isn’t work!”

“No work…” There was always work to fill her days with. She was exceedingly good at keeping herself busy. Still, there had been a few things she thought about sometimes. “I think… maybe… I’d like to travel?”

Peridot grinned. “Yeah?”

“Like you said about Empire City. There’s a lot of interesting human culture out there. Sometimes I look up places on the internet.”

“Like where?”

Her gem hurt. All the names and pictures of Earth cities were running together into an undistinguishable mass. “I… don’t know. Lots of places. I’m, ah…” She tried to think of the best way to phrase it. “I thought about it, but I’m not actually going to go. I’m safest here.” A part of her realized the absurdity of this statement as she lay on a roof with a cracked gem.

“Of course you’re going to go!” Peridot was fired up. “You just need friends with you to keep you safe. I… guess I haven’t done a good job of that…” Her face fell. “Seriously, though. Let’s get you, me, Lapis, and Bis. We’ll plan a trip somewhere cool. Steven can help. He can even come if he wants.”

“Sounds like a plan.” It did sound like a lot of fun. She could just imagine them in some strange Earth city, taking in the sights. She tried to muster up some genuine enthusiasm, but she was so exhausted. Her eyes slipped shut.

“Zircs! Hey!”

Zircon snapped back to consciousness. “Sorry.”

“Don’t  _ do _ that. Don’t leave me waiting alone, okay?” She was pulling her knees in close again. “I wish Steven would get here.”

“How long did he say he would take?”

“He wasn’t sure. At least twenty minutes.”

Cracks always worsened over time until the Gem in question was shattered, but the time it took was highly variable depending on the Gem type and size of the crack. She couldn’t see her own Gem that well and didn’t particularly want to look too closely anyway, so she had no way to gauge whether twenty minutes would be a problem. That was fortunate, perhaps.

“How come you never talked about wanting to travel before?”

“It’s frivolous. I have a job. I can’t just go off…” She lost her train of thought. 

Peridot sighed. “For someone who works on Era 3 reforms all day, I’m not sure you actually understand the point of them.”

“And what is the --” Her entire form suddenly glitched painfully.

“What was that?!” Peridot was kneeling next to her again, alarmed.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I think it’s okay, though. My gem doesn’t hurt as much now.” She couldn’t help but laugh. “This is so ridiculous. What am I even doing here?”

“Oh stars, you’re totally loopy, aren’t you?” She checked her phone impatiently. “Where is Steven…?”

“Steven. Steven’s so nice. He gave me a job!”

“Yes, I know.”

“I don’t know why, everyone on Homeworld thinks I’m cra-zy~” She sang the last bit.

“Zircs.” Peridot looked distressed. “Let’s not talk about that. We were talking about fun things you want to do, right?”

“Fun things…” There were a few, but she had a vague notion she shouldn’t tell anybody. Well, whatever. “I want to cuddle a human.” She giggled. “Why did I say that?”

Peridot’s eyes grew enormous. “This is the best piece of information. Please continue.”

“They just look so soft!” Zircon said wistfully. “They’d have to be a smart one, that I could really talk to. They’d have pretty hair. They’d hold me, and tell me I’m good at my job.”

“Oh my  _ stars,” _ said Peridot. “I never would have guessed. Did you have someone in mind?”

“No,” said Zircon. None of the limited number of humans in the Beach City area was quite right. Perhaps with a larger selection...

“Listen, assuming you don’t shatter and you don’t hate me after all of this, we are  _ absolutely _ \--”

Zircon suddenly glitched again. Colors went sideways. Peridot was still talking to her, but for some reason she was using a language Zircon couldn’t understand. Time seemed to skip, and Peridot was jumping up and yelling something. There was a blur of pink and black, and a light pressure on her gem.

The sensation was partly like a refreshing spring breeze and partly like having her consciousness violently shoved back into reality.

Zircon blinked. The world snapped back into focus. Peridot and Steven were looking at her.

“Are you okay? Say something!” said Peridot.

“I… think so?” Zircon sat up, and was immediately almost knocked back down by the force of Peridot hugging her. 

“Oh stars I’m so sorry I’m so so so sorry I’m so glad you aren’t shattered!”

Zircon still felt mildly disoriented, which she hoped was going to pass. “It’s okay, Peri.”

“Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner,” said Steven.

“Don’t be,” said Zircon. “Thank you for saving my life. Again.” She let out a soft yelp as Steven suddenly pulled both her and Peridot into a hug.

Peridot was the first to pull away. “I need to disable all the robonoids before someone else gets hurt. I’m going to need to do a full rework before I put them back out in the field. Nothing like this can happen again.” She was staring into the middle distance as she spoke, barely looking like herself. Her hair was askew and there were tears in the corners of her eyes.

“Peridot, are you going to be okay?” asked Steven.

“I have to go take care of all that,” she said, hopping on her trash can lid and flying off.

“She’s obviously not okay,” said Zircon. “I should’ve said something.”

“You’ve been through a lot, too,” said Steven. “Are  _ you _ going to be okay?”

The realization of what had just happened was finally starting to set in, and it was if though all the panic Zircon couldn’t feel while cracked was rapidly catching up to her. “I… think I’m going to need some time,” she said, voice shaking.

“Right,” said Steven. “Is there anything I can do?”

“No.” Zircon shook her head. It was irrational, but she absolutely had to feel safe. She had to go hide. “I have to go. Thanks again.”

“Are you  _ sure _ you don’t need help?” said Steven. 

She brushed past him without answering, practically sprinting down the staircase and into her office. She grabbed the blanket Peridot had been using to cocoon herself earlier in the day and wrapped herself in it, curling up on the couch.

In over four thousand years of existence, she had never been happier than the last couple of years on Earth.

Was that worth the risk of getting shattered?

She stared up at the ceiling.


	8. Lapis and Peridot Finally Talk

_ several years ago _

Lapis Lazuli touched down in front of the barn.

“Hey, Lazuli!” Peridot was outside, working on… something. Some kind of machine cobbled together from Earth technology. As far as Lapis could tell, she spent most of her time either doing that, or watching what she called TV. 

And like clockwork… “I’m going to be watching  _ Camp Pining Hearts _ in a few minutes, want to watch it with me?”

“No.” Peridot always offered, and Lapis always said no. She figured that, no matter how dense the little engineer was when it came to social interaction, at some point she would realize that just because Lapis agreed to stay at the barn with Peridot didn’t mean she wanted to have anything to do with her. At this rate, it might take thousands of years, though.

At least she took the hint and didn’t badger Lapis any further than a simple greeting each day. If that was all she had to do to deal with Peridot, she could live with that.

Sometimes Steven would come by to visit her, and those days were the best days. She’d take him on her back and show him all the beautiful and interesting things she had found while flying. He was always happy to see her, and would talk cheerfully about all the things he had been up to while they flew. Lapis didn’t really care about what the Crystal Gems were doing, but she liked to hear Steven talk about it anyway. His visits gave her something to look forward to other than yet another day stuck on Earth.

Sometimes she would return from flying, and Steven would be visiting Peridot. He’d bring his bag full of all sorts of Earth things she didn’t really understand. He and Peridot would laugh and talk and play games for hours.

“Hi, Lapis!” said Steven, the first time this had happened. “Peridot and I are playing Bash Bros. Want in? I have an extra controller!” Peridot was smiling hopefully.

Some part of her wanted to. She wanted to join in with Steven, but if she said yes, then Peridot would think Lapis wanted to be friends and never, ever leave her alone.

“Sorry, Steven,” she said. “I can’t.” And she flew off.

After that, she started avoiding the barn if she saw Steven with Peridot there. She could accept that Peridot had changed, but she couldn’t understand why Steven had to be such good friends with her. Seeing them laugh together made her feel jealous and petty. Better to just leave them both alone.

Better to just leave Peridot alone, and eventually she would learn.

* * *

_ Fusion. _

Lapis rolled over in the hammock and stared blankly at the clutter of the underground lair. She had been trying to take a nap for at least the last hour, but she just couldn’t quiet her mind. 

If it had been her usual intrusive thoughts -- Malachite, the mirror, the moon -- it would have been different. While she was far from perfect, she had at least had lots of practice dealing with those. Unfortunately for her, her latest source of rumination was brand new, and her feelings about it were a lot more mixed.

She now had the answer as to whether or not Peridot was curious about fusion -- she was, of course she was, she was curious about  _ everything. _ Intellectually, she understood that Peridot had done nothing wrong. She had explored fusion with someone that both she and Lapis trusted entirely, and by Garnet’s account they had had a great time.

Wasn’t that the trouble, though?

Peridot fusing with Steven was safe. Uncomplicated. He would never hurt her -- although Lapis was starting to suspect Steven was hurting a lot more than he let on, he’d never let that reach Peridot.

Even though she’d made more progress than she ever thought was possible, she still couldn’t say the same for herself. She hadn’t lost her anger, her desire for revenge, or her need for control. She had just learned to carry it more comfortably. There was no way she’d be able to keep all of that compartmentalized if she fused. She could imagine the terror Peridot would feel if she found out. And then how would she react? Would she safely let Peridot go? Or would she, in her shame and rage, make Malachite again?

Lapis wrapped her arms around herself, feeling the void where she wished Peridot were. She loved Peridot, but Peridot deserved someone better. She deserved to make a fusion out of love, like Garnet, a fusion that was as free and happy as Peridot could be at her best moments.

Lapis feared that as long as they lived together, that would never happen.

She heard a soft buzzing from across the room, where she had left her phone, neglecting to put it on the charger. Peridot always got on her case about that. Thankfully, it still had battery. Lapis reluctantly pulled herself out of the hammock and checked her messages.

**Steven!:** Hey Lapis, have you seen Peridot?

**bob:** i haven’t seen her all day, she’s been off doing some maintenance i guess

**Steven!:** Something serious has happened, and we should talk about it before Peridot gets back. Are you in the lair?

**bob:** yeah

**bob:** is this about the fusion

**Steven!:** Oh

**Steven!:** No, it isn’t, but we can talk about that too.

**bob:** ok

A few minutes later, Lapis heard a knock and opened the door to the lair. “Hey, Lapis.” Steven walked in and slumped on the couch next to her.

“Steven, you look exhausted.”

“I’m fine. It’s just adrenaline wearing off, I guess. I kind of ran here.”

“Is Peridot okay?” asked Lapis, alarmed. “Where is she?”

“She’s…” Steven searched for the words. “She’s not  _ physically _ hurt, but I’m really worried about her emotional state. As far as I know, she’s off disabling all her robonoids right now. There was an accident.”

“With the  _ robonoids? _ I know Peridot’s been into some… stuff… lately, but I thought the robonoids were pretty standard Gem tech. She must have been doing something weird with them -- wait, did she accidentally crack herself? Is that why you had to run here?”

“She didn’t accidentally crack  _ herself,” _ said Steven. “I didn’t get the whole story, but I guess Zircs was with her, and one of the robonoids exploded in her hands.”

“Oh, stars,” said Lapis. “You healed her, right?”

“I did, but… I was way out of Beach City when I got the phone call from Peri, and it took me almost a half an hour to get here. When I did, Zircs was in really bad shape. She was unconscious and had these little tiny cracks all over her Gem, like she was seconds away from shattering. Peri was curled up into a ball and crying. She looked  _ awful.” _

Lapis’ heart sank. “So she was just… watching Zircs shatter that entire time? She didn’t even text me! I would’ve come to help her!”

“I think…” Steven was clearly still processing what had happened. “I think she was ashamed. I think she blames herself.”

“But it was an accident, right?” said Lapis. “And you came as fast as you could, so Zircs was never in any real danger…”

Steven took in a sharp breath. “I think they’re really lucky that I wasn’t further away.”

Lapis crumpled. “What was Zircs even  _ doing _ with a robonoid? Whatever it was, I’m sure it was Peri’s idea. Of course she blames herself.” She slumped into her knees. “Steven, you’re going to have to talk to her. I don’t think she’ll listen to me if I tell her it’s not her fault. I’ve been getting on her case about her engineering projects, and she’s been hiding things from me. I don’t think she’ll want to hear it from me.”

“Lapis.” Steven put a hand on her knee. “I think that’s  _ exactly _ why she needs to hear it from you. Peri’s done some dangerous stuff in the past, but we both know she’d never hurt anyone on purpose. The way she headed off to dismantle the robonoids -- I’m worried she’s going to trash all her projects.”

“Some of her projects probably should be trashed,” said Lapis.

“Maybe, but -- she’ll be miserable. You know she will. Can you imagine a Peridot that isn’t constantly tinkering with something?” Steven hesitated for a second, then went for it. “I know that’s not the Peri you love.”

Lapis looked up in surprise, then laughed. “Was it that obvious?”

Steven shrugged, smiling. “You guys have been dancing around each other for a while now.”

“Yeah,” Lapis admitted. “You’re right, though. I want her to be safe, but I never wanted her to have to hide who she is. We need to sit down and talk. We should have talked a long time ago, huh?”

Steven nodded. “I get it, though. It’s hard.”

“I think it just got harder, huh? Now, I’ve got to convince her that it isn’t her fault she almost killed her friend.”   


“You can do it,” said Steven. “I know it seems like she doesn’t always listen, but Peri cares about your opinion a lot. Hearing it from you will mean something. Really.”

“Mmm,” said Lapis. “Did you get all that from fusing with her?”

Steven blushed, suddenly embarrassed. “Oh, well… are you upset about that?”

“No,” said Lapis. “Well… it’s more complicated than yes or no, you know? You didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did Peri, but…”

“I get it,” said Steven. “Well, I think so.”

“What was it like?” asked Lapis. “Fusing with Peri?”

“It was…” Steven laughed. “It was  _ a lot. _ You know?”

“Yeah, I could see that.”

“She just has so much going on in her head. And I knew that, but I guess there’s a difference between knowing that and having it all suddenly shoved inside your brain. Kind of like you’re trying to occupy the same space as a really fast computer.” Steven messed with his hair. “Wow, I’m not explaining that well at all, am I?”

“I think I get what you mean,” said Lapis. “That does sound like Peridot.”

“It was  _ very _ Peridot. But mostly in a good way! Like I suddenly knew how to build all these things, and that was really cool. And, just… she’s really enthusiastic about everything. I remember when I used to feel more like that. It was nice.”

“I’m glad,” said Lapis, and was surprised to realize she genuinely meant it.

“You are?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’m not going to pretend I’m not jealous, but I’m glad she had that experience with you. I want her to have fun and be happy, I really do. And I want you to have fun and be happy, too!” 

“Thanks, Lapis.” Steven stood up from the couch. “Hey, I should probably get going before Peri gets back. You guys have a lot to talk about and you don’t need me here for it. Are you gonna be okay?”

“I hope so,” said Lapis. “I’m going to try, anyway.”

“I believe in you guys,” said Steven. “Good luck!”

* * *

It was almost forty minutes later when the door to the lair slid open and Peridot entered.

“Hi, Peri,” said Lapis, putting down her book.

Peridot didn’t answer. Her hair was a disaster and there were tear streaks down her visor. She was carrying a partially disassembled robonoid. She marched into the room, pushed several piles of junk off of one of her workbenches with an awful racket, and set the robonoid down in the center of it.

“Peri, listen…” Lapis tried.

“I need to do this work, Lapis,” she said. She didn’t sound like herself. Her voice was harsh and clipped, almost like 2PK. “Something came up. This is extremely important and I can’t be interrupted.”

“Steven told me what happened.”

Peridot’s head snapped up to look at Lapis. The look in her eyes was wild, almost terrified, for a split second, before she restored her surface composure. “Then you know why I need to do this. Leave me alone.” She returned her attention to the machine, levitating several screwdrivers towards her.

“Peri, please stop. We need to talk.”

“I need to work.”

_ “No, _ we need to  _ talk.” _

“Talking isn’t going to fix what went wrong, Lapis!” said Peridot, the screwdrivers clattering to the workbench as she lost focus. “Let me do this!”

Lapis reached out with her wings, enveloping most of Peridot in water and lifting her in the air before she could protest. “I’m sorry, Peri, but we’re going to talk first.”

Peridot put up a token struggle. “Really? This is really what we’re doing? You realize we’re surrounded by metal, right? You want to destroy this place fighting? Is that what you want?”

“We’re not going to fight.”

“I don’t want to fight you, but I’ll do what I have to do to --” 

Lapis snapped her wing back hard, water splashing against her chest as she pulled Peridot in and held her tightly. “It’s not your fault,” she said, before Peridot could say anything. “I don’t blame you. I know what happened and it wasn’t your fault.”

Peridot’s form was stiff for a second. Lapis could feel her twitch as she tried to hold in her feelings. She held Peridot tighter. “It’s not your fault. It’s going to be okay. I promise it’s going to be okay.”

Peridot made a loud, ugly noise as she tried to keep herself from crying. “Let me go,” she said weakly. “I need to fix things, Lapis.”

“It’s going to be okay,” said Lapis, chanting it like a mantra. “It’s going to be okay, Peri. It’s going to be okay.”

Lapis could feel Peridot’s arms go around her waist and cling to her tightly as she lost the battle and broke down sobbing.

Without letting go of Peridot, Lapis flew them both into the hammock and held her close. “Can we talk now?”

Peridot took off her visor and wiped at her eyes. “Yeah. You win.”

“So… what’s wrong?”

“Where do I even start?” said Peridot.

“Let’s start with the worst thing.”

“I killed Zircs.”

Lapis blinked in surprise. “I’m… guessing that’s an exaggeration, because Steven told me he healed her and she’s fine. Well, I assume she’s probably freaking out, but she didn’t actually shatter, right?”

“No,” said Peridot, “but she  _ could have _ shattered, because of me. Me and my stupid robonoids and my stupid dragging along a particularly fragile Gem on a maintenance task just because I wanted someone to talk to. If Steven hadn’t reached us in time, she would have died, so I basically did kill her.”

Lapis tightened her hug. “I know that was really scary for you, but that’s also not how that works. She’s not dead, so you didn’t kill her.”

“Fine,” said Peridot, irritated. “I just  _ mortally wounded _ Zircs because of my stupid cloddy mistakes. Does that make it better?”

“It wasn’t your fault --”

“You keep saying that, but it definitely was my fault,” said Peridot, pulling away from Lapis. “Who designed and built the robonoid? Me. Who told Zircs to hold the robonoid? Also me. Who introduced the bug that caused the robonoid to explode, or whatever it it did? Well, I don’t know for sure because you won’t let me look at it, but I’m the only one who works on these things, so it’s a pretty safe assumption that that is also me. This is my fault.”

“It was an accident, Peri.”

“No, that time when the robonoids started spraying warp fluid all over blue Gems because I miscalibrated their vision sensors was an accident. This was a catastrophic failure.” Peridot buried her head in her hands. “I can’t make the kind of mistakes that cause Gems to shatter, Lapis. I can’t do this. It’s too much responsibility. That Agate, those Jades at the ball -- they were right. I should have never been put in charge.”

“That’s not true!” said Lapis, putting her arm back around Peridot. “You’ve done tons of great things for Little Homeworld. You’re smart and dedicated -- and look, I know that you feel like Steven only named you Chief Technician because you were the only Peridot he knew, but you wouldn’t have  _ stayed _ Chief Technician if you were bad at it. You’ve done an amazing job.”

“I guess we’ll find out if someone else can do an amazing job,” said Peridot, bitterly. “Because as soon as I figure out the problem with the robonoids, I’m resigning as Chief Technician.”

“But you love your job!”

“We’ll recruit some more Peridots to help out Dottie and 2PK, maybe get a decent Agate to manage them like it’s done in a real colony. Everyone will be a lot safer. I’ll stop working on my projects. You won’t have to worry about me as much anymore.” Peridot gave Lapis a fake smile. “It’ll be better that way.”

Lapis pulled Peridot into a hug with enough force to make the smaller Gem yelp. “I am so sorry, Peri,” she said. “I’m so sorry that you thought I wanted you to give up engineering. I just wanted you to be safe. I never wanted you to stop doing what you love. I don’t want you to give up your job, either. We both know you’d be miserable if you did.”

“Maybe I deserve to be miserable.”

“No, you don’t,” said Lapis, as firmly as she could manage. “You deserve to be happy. You’re the best Gem I know. I mean that. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s you.”

“How can you say that when I’ve been so awful?”

“You’re absolutely  _ not _ awful,” said Lapis. “You feel awful because you care so much about your friends and about the town. That doesn’t make you awful. That’s one of the reasons why I -- care about you, okay?”

Peridot buried herself in Lapis’ chest. “You really don’t hate me?”

“Honestly, I can’t imagine ever hating you,” said Lapis. “You’d have to turn into an entirely different Gem, and you definitely haven’t done that. You’re still totally Peridot.”

“I guess so,” said Peridot. “You really don’t want me to give up my projects?”

Lapis sighed. “I don’t. I just don’t like it when you’re working on super dangerous stuff. It’s almost like you don’t realize how I’d feel if something happened to you.”

“Lapis…” said Peridot. “You know I didn’t want to make you worry like that.”

“I know,” said Lapis. “We should have talked about this a long time ago. I don’t want you getting hurt, but I also don’t want you to stop engineering, not ever. That’s a part of you. And if a project is important enough to you that you’re willing to risk your gem… maybe I should pay more attention to why you feel that way, instead of just trying to shut it down.”

“You mean that?”

Lapis nodded.

“That’s really what I want. I want you to understand me, or at least try,” said Peridot, wiping tears from her eyes. “That’s why I kept so many things from you. I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t realize how much you were worrying. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I made you feel like you needed to hide things that are important.”

Peridot’s eyes were still filled with tears, but she was smiling. “Communication is hard, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

Peridot squeezed Lapis even more tightly.

“So you’re not going to resign, then?”

“I’ll think about it,” she said, voice muffled from clinging so hard.

Lapis kicked her legs gently, swinging the hammock as Peridot wrapped up her crying. Before long, her form went limp, and she slumped over into Lapis’ lap, exhausted. Lapis, emotionally drained, closed her eyes and settled in for the nap she was trying to take earlier.

* * *

When Lapis opened her eyes, Peridot was clutching her tightly and staring at nothing, a distressed look on her face. “Hey, Peri?” she asked, softly.

Peridot’s head snapped towards her. “Lapis?”

“What’s bothering you?” said Lapis. “And don’t say nothing.”

“Fine,” said Peridot, resigned to her fate of talking things out. “Do you think Zircs hates me?”

“No,” said Lapis immediately.

“What? How can you be so sure? I nearly killed her!”

Lapis shrugged. “I mean, I’m not going to pretend that I know what’s going on in her head, because I really, really don’t, but I can’t imagine her hating you. If anything, she’s probably somehow blaming herself for all of this.”

Peridot made an awful face.

“That probably doesn’t make you feel better, does it?”

Peridot shook her head. “What if she goes back to Homeworld because of me?”

“She’s not going to go back to Homeworld because of you,” said Lapis. “Well, not permanently. She’s told me before she doesn’t think she can.”

“That was before I almost shattered her!” said Peridot. 

Lapis was about to retort, but she actually  _ could _ imagine Zircon packing up and heading back to Homeworld for a while. It probably wouldn’t be permanent, but the amount of sustained moping from Peridot if she drove away her uptight lawyer friend would be enough to power a city. 

“You know, you could go talk to her.”

“But what if she hates me?”

“I told you, I don’t think she does.” 

Peridot’s face said it all. Lapis forgiving her was one thing, but she was probably going to continue stewing in self-loathing until Zircon forgave her too. Lapis realized she didn’t have a choice.

“I’ll go talk to her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” said Lapis. “If she is thinking of leaving for Homeworld, I’ll channel my best Steven vibes and try to convince her to stay. Would that make you feel better?”

“Yes!” said Peridot, squeezing Lapis tight.

“Are you going to be okay for now?” said Lapis, jumping down from the hammock.

“Yeah,” said Peridot, floating her phone near. “I’ll just surf the internet and watch some TubeTube until you get back, okay?”

“Sure.” All she had to do was talk down Little Homeworld’s most nervous resident after a near death experience. 

“Good luck!” said Peridot, with some measure of cheerfulness.

* * *

Lapis shaded her eyes and peered in the window. It was dark inside the office, but she could make out a sad pile of blankets on the couch that likely contained a Gem. At least she hadn’t fled yet -- that was a good start.

Lapis tapped on the window as softly as she could manage. There was no movement from the pile. Startling Zircon would be counterproductive to what she was attempting, so she was trying to avoid it, but she had to get her attention somehow.

She pulled out her phone and tried texting. She could see Zircon’s phone light up on her desk. The pile stirred slightly before curling up even tighter.

Lapis groaned. Screw it. She hit the window.

The pile twitched and tumbled off of the couch in a tangle of blankets and blue. Zircon freed herself enough to look out the window at Lapis. She looked like a complete disaster, even apart from the blankets -- her hair was pointing in every direction, her monocle was missing, and her eyes were bleary and unfocused.

Lapis waved. Zircon squinted. For a second Lapis thought she wasn’t going to let her in, but then she got up and hit the button to open the window.

“Lapis,” she started. “I don’t know why you’re here, but I’m in no shape to --”

“You almost died. I know. That’s why I’m here,” said Lapis, settling on the couch before Zircon could stop her.

“I -- okay,” said Zircon, somewhat stunned. “So you get why I’m kind of a mess right now?” She picked one of the blankets up off the floor and began folding it into precise squares.

“Well, maybe I can help you be less of a mess?” offered Lapis. “About this specific thing, anyway. Also, Peri thinks you hate her, so that’s a problem.”

Zircon dropped the blanket she was folding. “What? Why does she think I hate her?”

“It was her robonoid that exploded, and she says it was her fault you were there in the first place, so she blames herself for what happened.”

“Well, I hope you told her it wasn’t her fault! The explosion was obviously an accident, and I  _ offered _ to help her with maintenance. She isn’t responsible for my poor decision. If anything, it’s my fault.”

Yup, she had found a way to blame herself. “You and Peri really are alike sometimes, you know?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Nothing. Anyway, I’ve been trying to convince her it wasn’t her fault, but I don’t think she’ll forgive herself until you forgive her.”

Zircon sat on the edge of her desk. “Well, you can tell her I forgive her, then. Tell her I was never even angry with her.”

“I think she needs to hear it from you.”

Zircon glared at the floor, clearly upset.

“Zircs, I mean it. She needs to hear it from you.” Lapis realized what was happening. “You’re not going back to Homeworld, are you?”

“I don’t want to, but…”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am serious!” said Zircon, anger flashing. “None of this would have happened if I weren’t here on Earth, trying to go places I don’t belong and do things I was never designed for. Now Peri’s blaming herself, and I have a job to do and  _ none of this is my job.” _ Her fingers nervously drummed the desk. “I can do my job out of my Homeworld office. Steven will understand. Peri won’t have to worry about me. It’ll be better for everyone.”

“Zircs, if you leave for Homeworld, Peri will do  _ nothing but _ worry about you.”

“Ridiculous,” said Zircon, waving her hand dismissively. “Peri has so many friends and so much to do. She won’t miss some boring Zircon.”

Lapis glared. “Are we really doing this? Do you want me to bring up your joint video game saves, or the amount of her secrets that you know that she hasn’t told anybody else?”

“I… don’t… know that she hasn’t told anybody else. I’m good at confidentiality, that’s all.”

“I don’t want to have this argument with you, Zircs. I don’t want to have to manage Peri’s moping until you inevitably return, okay?”

“Inevitably?!”

“You heard me,” said Lapis. “You could probably stay on Homeworld for a while, but you’d be totally miserable. After a while, your terror over your near-death experience would start to fade, and you’d wonder what your friends were up to on Earth, and you’d think, ‘I’ll just go visit for a few hours, that’ll be safe.’”

Zircon scowled, but didn’t respond.

“You’d come visit, and Peri would have somehow found an even more ridiculous law procedural to watch, and in a few weeks everything’s back to normal.” Lapis crossed her arms. “I’m right, aren’t I?”

Zircon was glaring, but Lapis could see the wheels in her head turning. She sat there, waiting patiently for a rebuttal. 

Zircon suddenly laughed, and collapsed onto the other end of the couch. “That sounds about right, yes. How did you know?”

“It reminds me of when I flew off with the barn,” said Lapis. “I hated every minute of it, but I kept telling myself I had to do it, or risk getting killed by the Diamonds. While I was flying, I spent all my time wondering what the Crystal Gems were up to. I couldn’t stand it. That’s why I ended up on the moon, watching them.” Lapis sighed. “Honestly, I would have probably gone back sooner if I weren’t so worried about what Peridot would think.”

“What made you decide to do it?” said Zircon. “Fight the Diamonds?”

“I realized there was something that scared me more than anything the Diamonds could do to me.”

“What was that?”

“Inflicting thousands of years of misery and loneliness on myself.”

“I can see how that would do it.” Zircon was lost in thought. “You know, after living on Earth, I can start to see why Homeworld was so strict in Era 2.”

“Why?”

“Having no friends, no hobbies, and nothing but your career seems fine when it’s literally all you or anyone else knows. But once you’ve experienced other ways to live, you really can’t go back, can you?” Zircon looked resigned. “I’m going to die on Earth, aren’t I?”

Lapis nodded. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” said Zircon. She stood up. “I’ve left Peri hanging long enough, haven’t I? I should go talk to her.”

“Yeah, we should go,” said Lapis, inwardly relieved that she had accomplished her mission.

“Wait just a second. I must look like a complete disaster.” She rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a mirror. “Stars, I look like an Agate beat me with a whip.”

“I’ve seen Gems who have been beaten by an Agate,” said Lapis. “They’re usually more composed.”

“Very funny,” said Zircon, attempting to wrangle her hair back into some semblance of order. She straightened her coat and cravat and resummoned her monocle onto her face. “That’ll have to do, I guess. Do I look slightly less like I’ve been absorbed in a cocoon of self-loathing?”

“Oh, definitely.”

* * *

Lapis knocked on the door to the lair. She could just open it, but thought she should give Peridot some warning. “Peri?”

There was no answer, so Lapis knocked again. “Peri, I’m back!”

Lapis and Zircon exchanged a look. Zircon tried knocking. “Peri, it’s me! I’m still here, on Earth, as you can probably tell!”

Nothing.

“Maybe she’s sleeping?” Lapis slid the door open, took a few steps into the room, and stopped dead.

There was what looked like a small explosion in the part of the room near where Peridot had cleared off the workbench to make room for the robonoid. The robonoid itself had been blown off the table and was lying on the floor in pieces. Robot parts, books, and other detritus were everywhere.

There was no sign of Peridot.

“Peri?!” Lapis ran into the room, looking around frantically. “Peri? Are you here?”

Zircon was standing in the doorway, shocked. “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no.”

“Help me look! If she were caught in an explosion, her gem might be...”

“...right.” Zircon snapped out of her shock and began to sift through the debris near the center of the explosion.

Lapis suddenly realized where Peridot must be. She flew up to the hammock, where a triangular green gem was nestled safely next to a stuffed emoji.

“I found her!” said Lapis, carefully picking up the precious gem. “She’s not cracked.”

“Thank the stars,” said Zircon, walking over to look. “How could this have happened?”

“I don’t know! She must have been tinkering with something.”

“No. No, there’s no way.” Zircon sat down, obviously on the verge of panic. “This is more than a coincidence. Someone’s trying to kill Peridot.”

“You really think so?!” said Lapis.

Any further speculation was cut off by Peridot’s gem glowing.

“She’s regenerating. We can just ask her what happened.” Lapis expected the gem to rise from her hands and begin to form, but several moments passed and it didn’t.

“What’s happening? Why isn’t she regenerating?” said Zircon.

“It’s fine! It’s just taking longer than usual. She’s going to be fine!”

Peridot’s gem abruptly stopped glowing. A triangular screen projected from the center of the gem, scrolling through a dizzying array of what looked like diagnostics. Finally, it stopped on a prompt.

A voice almost exactly like Peridot’s, but not quite, calmly intoned: “Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG is now in calibration mode. Please press one for Gemglyph and two for simplified pictographs.”

Lapis and Zircon stared, absolutely stunned.

“What is this?” said Lapis.

“This is bad,” said Zircon.


	9. Please Select a Peridot from the Options Provided

Slow realization dawned on Lapis as Zircon folded into a useless heap.

“The Rejuvenator,” she said.

The part of Lapis that had kept her sane through thousands of years of imprisonment suddenly kicked in full force and prevented her from fully processing the implications of what she just said. She couldn’t afford to shut down. Peridot needed her.

“No, no, no, no.” Zircon was practically vibrating with nervous energy. “I should’ve -- I should’ve talked her out of it, oh stars…”

Lapis felt a flash of anger. Zircon knew about the Rejuvenator. Of course she did. “I don’t understand. When I left her, she was curled up in the hammock watching TubeTube. Why would she have started messing with the Rejuvenator?”

“Because she _didn’t.”_

Just as Lapis had shifted into crisis mode, she could see the lights go on in Zircon’s eyes as she flipped from pure panic into investigation.

“The explosion was obviously over here, at the work table, but Peridot’s gem was in the hammock where you left her. It’s impossible for her to have been working on the Rejuvenator at the time of the explosion.” Zircon wiped the sweat that was beading on her forehead. “It’s sabotage! It has to be. This is the third incident in less than a day!”

“Third? What do you mean?”

Zircon took a ragged breath. “Just before -- just before what happened with the Robonoid,” she said, looking intensely shaken, “Peri told me that there had been an accident in the solar core.”

“What?!”

“She was doing some sort of maintenance and there was a meltdown. Peri said she was almost caught in it.”

Lapis exploded on Zircon. “Were you going to tell anyone about this?!”

“Yes!” said Zircon, flinching away. “I was, really I was! This was literally right before -- you know -- so I was a little bit preoccupied with _being cracked!”_ She tried to regain composure, without much success. “That’s why I was on the roof with Peri. She didn’t want to be alone after what happened. I _swear_ I was not going to keep it a secret. I even told Peri she should tell Steven. There just wasn’t time.”

Lapis balled her fists, doing her best to keep her frustration reined in. “So what was the third thing, the Robonoid? That was -- oh. I get it.”

Zircon nodded. “You see what I’m getting at?”

“Yeah, if it was sabotage and not an accident, it was probably meant for Peri and not you.”

“It was a complete fluke that I was there. There’s no way they could have accounted for that.”

Lapis sat down on a stool, holding Peridot’s gem -- still projecting a menu -- in her lap, trying not to lose it. “Stars. Someone really is trying to kill Peri. But who? And why?”

“It’d have to be someone with a grudge against her.” Zircon was reasoning it out. “Someone she wronged, or maybe someone from Homeworld that doesn’t like her status. They’d have to have access to the lair -- not that that’s difficult -- but they’d either have to know for sure when you two wouldn’t be here, or they’d have to be someone Peri trusts. And of course, they’d have to know about the Rejuvenator. Who does that describe?”

“A Homeworld Gem with access to the lair that knew about the Rejuvenator and that Peri trusts?” said Lapis, giving Zircon a pointed look.

“You don’t think--?!”

“No, I don’t.” As annoyed as she was with Zircon, Lapis could safely rule her out. It would require playing an extremely long game and being a ridiculously good actress, as well as accidentally getting caught in her own sabotage when she had no reason to be there in the first place.

“I should hope so!” said Zircon, clearly offended. “Who else knew about the Rejuvenator besides the two of us? I didn’t tell anyone.”

“I only told Bis,” said Lapis. “It can’t be her, right? She’s our friend, she’s been a Crystal Gem forever, and she has no reason to do something like that.”

“Agreed. Do you know if Peri told anyone?”

_Dottie thought it sounded like a good idea._

“Dottie. She told Dottie,” said Lapis. “It has to be her.”

“Dottie? Oh, stars,” said Zircon. “As a Peridot, she’d have the capability to sabotage Peri’s machines, except -- it’s Dottie. She’d either have to have an accomplice or have to be faking her… condition. And there’s the question of motive.”

“Jealousy?” said Lapis. “We definitely can’t trust her, though.”

“No, she has to be on the shortlist. There’s also that Agate --”

“The one that sued Peri?”

“She was _up to something!”_ said Zircon, emphatically, smacking a fist against her palm. “She clearly has it out for Peridot. I don’t know how she’d find out about the Rejuvenator, though. Maybe if they were working together? We need more evidence.”

Zircon stared at the gem in Lapis’ grasp. Having come to the end of her investigative rope, panic was clearly starting to grip her again. Lapis was having trouble herself. It was one thing to speculate about _how_ it happened, but she was terrified to try and answer the bigger question:

If Peridot was indeed Rejuvenated, how were they going to restore her?

 _Could_ they restore her?

Steven had restored Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. It was obviously possible. She had to hold onto that thought, because if she dwelled too long thinking that Peridot could be gone forever…

“Lapis?” Zircon asked, voice shaking. “We need to…” She gestured helplessly at the gem. “What are we going to do?”

“It’s a _menu,”_ said Lapis, shaking her head. “Why would it be a menu? Have you heard of such a thing?”

“No, but I don’t know much about Gem creation. We need a kindergarten expert to get Peridot back. You can see the obvious problem here.”

“Right, and we can’t trust the other Peridots.” Lapis stared at the menu, silently willing it to stop being a menu and start being a regenerating Peridot, preferably a fully intact one. “Maybe the menu is easy to do? Except -- what if this is part of Peridot creation and it has all sorts of technical engineering… stuff?”

Zircon nodded rapidly. “If that’s it, then we are in _no way qualified_ to do this. Oh stars, what if we --”

“Don’t,” said Lapis. She couldn’t handle hearing about all the ways they could somehow irrevocably ruin Peridot.

Suddenly, a look of absolute shock and horror crossed Zircon’s face. “Oh no… oh no…”

“What?”

“I -- the menu --” She clapped a hand to her mouth.

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I can’t…” Whatever Zircon had just thought of, it was causing her mental state to rapidly deteriorate from its already shaky starting point.

“Zircs!” Lapis carefully set down the gem and grabbed her by the arms. “What do you know?”

“She told me not to tell anyone! She wasn’t going to tell me at all unless I promised! Three times!”

Oh, _stars._ “Zircon!” She looked thrown to hear her full name. _Good._ “What did Peri tell you? What did you _do?”_

“Do you know why she had the Rejuvenator?”

“She was trying to build that awful suicide booth thing. She needed a way for Gems to poof safely, right?”

Zircon shook her head. “If it were just about poofing, she’d just take a Destabilizer as a starting point, right?”

“So why…?”

“She thought she could use the Rejuvenator to alter the properties of Gems in ways other than removing memories,” said Zircon, as if the words were being forcibly pulled out of her. “She thought it could be used to give Gems new abilities. Like… shapeshifting.”

Lapis felt horror run through her as she processed this. “She was going to try this thing on herself, wasn’t she?”

“No! I mean… she said she wasn’t going to work on it any more!”

Lapis slammed her hands on the table on either side of where Zircon was sitting, causing her to cringe and shrink. _“Did she ever say she was going to try it on herself?”_

Zircon’s eyes were filled with tears. “She told me that if she told me what she was up to, I couldn’t try to stop her! I had to promise, or I wouldn’t know about it at all!”

“Zircon. Listen to me.” Lapis gripped her arms again in cold fury. “You’re telling me that she was going to try to alter her own gem with a Rejuvenator experiment, you knew about this, and you weren’t going to tell anyone because she made you promise?”

Zircon, frozen in terror, barely managed to nod.

“This is _your_ fault,” said Lapis.

“No…”

“This is your fault!” she said, pointing at the glowing gemstone. “You could have stopped this. You didn’t. This is your fault. This is on you.”

“She needed to talk to someone about it! I was just trying to be a good friend!”

“Peridot is gone because of you. You were a _great friend.”_

Zircon crumpled and didn’t respond.

“Leave,” said Lapis.

She expected Zircon to protest, cry, something, but she was completely shut down. She simply got up and walked out the door.

Lapis silently picked up Peridot’s gem and lifted herself into the hammock. Its green glow leaked through her fingers and stained her clothes as she held it close against her.

“I’m sorry, Peridot,” she said. “I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose you like this. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

* * *

_ in the aftermath of Spinel _

“C’mon, Peri. You’ve been working on cleanup for three days straight. You need a break.” Lapis pulled Peridot into the hammock.

“There’s so much left to do, Lapis!” Peridot protested. “We’ve barely even started triaging all the building damage in Little Homeworld. We’re going to have to rebuild most of the office tower, and --”

“You look exhausted. You can take a short break. Most of the work will still be there after.”

“Yeah.” Peridot gave up and snuggled into the hammock. Lapis knew she must really be absolutely wiped to give up the fight that easily.

Lapis closed her eyes, but she could feel Peridot nervously fidgeting next to her. She opened her eyes again. “What’s up?”

“How do you think Spinel got all those weapons?”

“The giant injector thing? Who knows? Some kind of abandoned superweapon warehouse?”

Peridot looked at her, eyes wide. “Do those exist?”

“No, I just made that up. Although… that does kind of seem like something the Diamonds might do…”

“I didn’t really mean the injector, though. Where do you think she got that Rejuvenator?”

“Same place she got the injector?”

“Bis said it was an old form of punishment. Had you ever heard of it?”

“No, I don’t think so,” said Lapis, shaking her head. “I never really paid attention to that sort of stuff.” She never really paid that much to _anything_ back in Era 1. She was an elite Gem, and one of the best of the Lazulis to boot. She did her job, she didn’t rock the boat, punishments that were mostly intended for lower Gems were not her problem.

“It was able to erase a Gem’s memories. I had no idea something like that was possible.” Peridot was lost in thought. “What’s more, it didn’t permanently wipe them out, since they were re-accessible with the correct stimulus. It must have just severed the connections to the memories that reside with our gemstones. If you can do that…”

“I’m not sure I follow.”

“It’s nothing,” said Peridot, quickly. “It’d be far too risky to try to leverage that tech, anyway.” She turned and clung to Lapis a bit harder. “Can you imagine losing all of your memories the way Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl did?”

“No,” said Lapis, then looked down and saw the distress on Peridot’s face. “This is really bothering you, isn’t it?”

“I just keep picturing what it’d be like to go back to how I was before -- before I met you, or Steven. It’d be _awful.”_

“Yeah, it would be,” said Lapis, patting her head fondly.

Losing all her memories…

“Lapis? What are you thinking?”

“Oh, just… nothing.”

Peridot saw the Rejuvenator as a source of dread. The truth was, if Lapis had had a Rejuvenator after emerging from the mirror, or after Malachite was split, she would have turned it on herself, no question. She would have been more than happy to lose her memories and go back to the way things were. Homeworld might’ve even taken her back if she were memory wiped. In fact, that “punishment” would have been far more humane than the mirror.

She wouldn’t do it now, though.

...would she?

She looked down at Peridot, who was lost in thought, fingers drumming nervously.

No, she wouldn’t. As much as she’d like to forget all that trauma, it wouldn’t be worth losing what she had. This was, perhaps, the first time in her life when she knew that with certainty.

“Lapis?”

“Yeah?”

“If something like that _did_ happen to me, you’d bring me back, right?”

“Uh, yeah, of course I would. Would you do it for me?”

“Yes!” said Peridot, emphatically.

Would that even be possible without somehow recreating… everything? Lapis didn’t really want to think about it. She snuggled Peridot close.

When had it become so normal to be so close to Peridot? That was a memory she couldn’t afford to lose.

* * *

Lapis stirred. She had been clutching Peridot’s gem so tightly that her fingers were sore.

It was still glowing, still projecting its inscrutable menu into Lapis’ chest, so that the glow lit up her face from underneath.

She hadn’t been sleeping, but she hadn’t been entirely aware, either. It was if though her brain needed to go offline to prevent her from…

From what, exactly, she wasn’t sure.

She swallowed hard. Peridot wasn’t getting restored with her sitting here uselessly. She had to do _something._

She absolutely needed help, but there were only a few Gems she could trust with something so important. In fact, there was really only one.

 **bob:** steven

 **Steven!:** Hey Lapis!

 **Steven!:** Did you talk to Peri? How’s she doing?

 **bob:** i need you to come back to the lair

 **bob:** i’m sorry, i wouldn’t ask you to come right back like this if it weren’t important

 **bob:** it’s an emergency

 **bob:** it’s peridot

 **Steven!:** Oh god, what happened?

 **bob:** i’ll tell you when you get here

 **bob:** just please get here?

 **Steven!:** On my way.

Lapis clicked off her phone and wrapped herself around Peridot’s gem again, waiting for Steven to arrive.

It didn’t take very long. “Lapis! What’s going on?” He spotted the disaster area where the Rejuvenator core had (probably) exploded. “Did a bomb go off? Is Peri cracked?”

“It’s worse, Steven,” said Lapis, sadly showing him Peridot’s gem, still displaying its menu.

Steven stared at the glowing gemstone, uncomprehending. “What is this?”

“Peri was…” She really didn’t want to say it out loud to Steven, as though that was going to make it more real. “She had a Rejuvenator core, and we think maybe --”

“Peri had a _Rejuvenator core?!”_

Steven turned bright pink for a second, causing Lapis to nearly drop the gem in surprise. “Steven, what…?”

“Never mind,” he said, shaking his head as the pink faded. “Why did Peridot have a Rejuvenator core?”

“She was experimenting with it! She told me she was gonna--”

“She was experimenting with a Rejuvenator core? Lapis, that’s insanely dangerous. You just let her do that?”

“I didn’t just let her!” Lapis’ voice raised. “It’s -- I don’t want to talk about it, okay? She Rejuvenated herself and we have to get her back!”

For a second, their eyes met, exchanging looks of anger, fear, and isolation. Steven crossed the divide and hugged Lapis, tears flowing down his cheeks. Lapis was surprised for a moment, then returned the hug.

They stood there, Lapis holding Steven tightly as he sobbed against her shoulder. “Peri’s one of my best friends -- how are we going to _do_ this, Lapis…?”

“I know,” said Lapis. “We’ll get her back. We have to.”

Steven nodded, letting go of Lapis and looking at the gemstone she was still holding. “Why is there a menu? Pearl kind of had something like this, but Pearls are a special case. Amethyst, Ruby, and Sapphire just regenerated on their own. We should ask one of the other Peridots, they worked in a kindergarten --”

“No!” Lapis yelled, startling Steven. “We can _not_ trust the other Peridots. They might be trying to kill Peri.”

“What? Why?!”

Lapis quickly filled in Steven on everything she had worked out earlier with Zircon. Steven was horrified when she got to the part about the solar core meltdown. When Lapis finished, Steven sat down on one of the nearby stools in a state of shock, trying to process it all.

“So you get why I think someone might be trying to kill Peri?”

“Yeah,” he said, unsteadily. “Yeah. I don’t get it, though. Why would anyone want to kill Peri?”

“Jealousy?” Lapis offered. “Bitter Era 2 Gems who think a Peridot doesn’t deserve to be in charge of anything? She _is_ kind of one of the public faces of Little Homeworld…”

“We haven’t had any threats like that in a while, though,” said Steven.

“Steven, do you really think that a couple of diplomacy tours are enough to undo thousands of years of Homeworld propaganda? For _every Gem?_ Especially for all the elite Gems who have now lost most of their status and power? Remember those two Lazulis we fought? They didn’t care at all about Era 3 until we put them in their places, and I _guarantee_ that they are far from the worst out there.”

“When you put it that way…” Steven stuck his fingers in his hair, trying to come to terms with what Lapis said. “It’s just hard to believe someone would want to shatter Peri. And they almost did it, too! And now this!” He shook his head. “If you really think Dottie and 2PK might be behind this, I should do something, right? Call the Ruby guards to… I don’t know… detain them? Don’t we need a warrant or something? I don’t know how any of this works.”

“I don’t know either.”

“You know who would know about warrants and stuff? Zircs. I’m gonna text--”

“No!”

Steven nearly dropped his phone in surprise. “You’re not saying _Zircs_ is trying to kill Peri, are you?”

“No,” said Lapis. “I’m just -- really angry with her, and I don’t want to talk about it!”

Steven looked torn between challenging that and letting it drop. “...are you sure?”

“Yes,” said Lapis, folding her arms. Steven didn’t say anything. It took less than thirty seconds for the frustration to boil out of Lapis again. “Do you know what she did, Steven?!”

“No, because you said you weren’t going to talk about it.”

“She _knew!_ She knew Peri was experimenting with the Rejuvenator, and was planning to use it on her own Gem--”

“What?!”

“Peri thought she could unlock extra Gem powers or -- something. I don’t actually know, because she never told me! She told Zircs, and Zircs didn’t tell anyone or try to stop her or anything--”

“Peri must have told her to keep it a secret--”

“Don’t you defend her!”

“I’m not! That’s… definitely not good. I’m just saying that -- Lapis?’

Lapis had collapsed into a miserable heap on one of the stools. “It’s my fault, Steven.”

“What? No!”

“It is, though! I made Peri think she couldn’t trust me. She thought I was going to make her shut down all her projects, give up engineering… That’s why she didn’t just talk to me about these things. If I had known…”

Steven threw his arms around Lapis. “Lapis, this is _not your fault._ ”

“It is!”

“It’s not! I don’t know why Peri decided to do all this dangerous stuff, and, yeah, maybe you should’ve talked more, but this isn’t your fault. I mean it.” He pulled Lapis tighter. “She needs us, Lapis. She’s gonna need us to figure this out and restore her memories and find out who’s been sabotaging everything. She needs _you._ Please don’t shut down.”

Lapis suddenly remembered picking up the barn from the moon and flying to Earth, every part of her screaming at her that she _shouldn’t_ do this, and that she _can’t_ do this, and how she somehow managed to do it anyway.

“You’re right, Steven,” she said, returning the hug. “Not about this not being my fault, because it kind of is, but I’ll try. For Peri’s sake.”

“Okay. We’ll work on the other part later,” said Steven, wiping a tear from his eye.

“How are we gonna do it, though? Restore her memories?”

“With the others, we had to recreate key moments in their lives. It was pretty simple with Amethyst, actually, we just had to spend time together. Garnet and Pearl were more complicated, though.”

“A key moment for Peridot…” Lapis thought about it. “It has to be joining the Crystal Gems, right? And she only did that because of the Cluster. There’s no world-ending threat any more. She’s already a Crystal Gem, and even if we pretended like she’s not, it’s not the same choice any more, either -- it’s not like the Diamonds are going to come after her for it.”

“Yeah,” said Steven, rubbing his neck. “We probably can’t fake any of that, but maybe it’ll be more like Amethyst? Even before Peri decided to join the Crystal Gems, she was already really excited about a lot of Earth things. That’s what made me think we could be friends in the first place! We can remind her about all the Earth things she loves and be her friend. Maybe that will help?”

“Maybe. Yeah. We can try, anyway.”

Steven turned to the glowing gem. “We haven’t figured out why her gemstone is doing _this,_ though.”

“If it’s not something that normally happens when Gems are Rejuvenated, it might be part of her experiments,” said Lapis. “Which means we’re flying blind.”

Steven nodded and visibly braced himself. “Here goes?”

“Go ahead, Steven.” She was glad he was here. She wouldn’t be able to make it through this on her own, and he was the only one she would really trust with Peridot’s life.

“At least the first choice is easy, since I learned to read Gemglyph.” He picked the language option. Immediately the projected screen expanded. The top left corner held a picture of a random Peridot, and the rest of the screen was filled with dozens of buttons and sliders.

“What in the _stars…”_ said Lapis.

“This is definitely Peri’s work,” said Steven. “This is a character creation screen.”

“A what?”

“In some video games, when you start a new game, you have to design your character’s appearance. It looks just like this! Except… usually way less complicated.”

Lapis sighed. “Oh, Peri. I guess she did want to be able to change her appearance. Wait, does that say there are _eight hundred_ hairstyle options? I didn’t even know eight hundred hairstyles existed!”

“It’s very… thorough. Wow, there’s eighteen separate sliders just for her _nose._ ”

“It’s very Peridot,” said Lapis.

“Yeah,” agreed Steven. “Oh, there’s a presets menu!” He clicked the button.

The presets menu had a few saved options:

CURRENT ME (AWESOME)

STAR HAIR?

RAINBOW VISOR

GLASSES INSTEAD OF VISOR

HOODIE

CUTE DRESS

ME WITH LAPIS HAIR

The first option was Peridot’s current look exactly. The rest were all minor variants that Peridot had apparently been trying out. Lapis blushed when reading the last one. “That’s… adorable.”

“Should I pick it?” Steven grinned.

Lapis shook her head. “No, let’s just go with ‘Current Me’. Thank goodness she saved her appearance.”

Steven selected the ‘CURRENT ME (AWESOME)’ preset and clicked through the ‘Are You Sure?’ popup. Lapis tried not to think so hard about how they were literally _programming_ her best friend.

The next menu was KNOWLEDGE OPTIONS and was an enormous list. It was organized by Gem type, and under each type were the fields that that Gem type was ordinarily formed knowing.

“At least it’s organized?” said Steven, scrolling down to PERIDOT. “Kindergartens, spaceships, building maintenance… I think she knows all of this, should we pick everything?”

“Yeah, I guess,” said Lapis. “She’d probably never forgive us if we erased part of her knowledge.”

Appearance was one thing -- if they screwed that up, Peridot would still be herself. The knowledge menu made Lapis nervous, though. If they chose a different set of knowledge than what Peridot actually had… would that alter her Gem in an irrevocable way?

“Okay, I’ll choose all the things under Peridot… do we want to pick anything else?”

“We’d better not,” said Lapis. “Too risky. We don’t even know if she had any of this working.”

“You think that even the Peridot options won’t work?”

Lapis really didn’t want to think about Peridot being born with no knowledge at all. “Stars, I sure hope they do.”

Steven checkmarked all the relevant choices and moved on to the next menu, ABILITIES.

This was a far more hodgepodge list. The knowledge list seemed pulled from official data about how Gem types were created -- pulled, no doubt, from Peridot’s kindergarten documentation. This menu was obviously written by Peridot, stream-of-consciousness style:

ENHANCED RESILIENCE

ENHANCED STRENGTH

ENHANCED INTELLIGENCE

FERROKINESIS

HYDROKINESIS (ASK LAPIS?)

GENERAL TELEKINESIS (POSSIBLE?)

PSYCHIC ABILITIES (AWESOME - RESEARCH THIS)

WEAPON SUMMONING

SHAPESHIFTING

FUSING (??? - NEEDS MORE RESEARCH -- IMPORTANT DON’T FORGET!!!)

EATING (SUBSET OF SHAPESHIFTING?)

BUBBLING

STEVEN’S BUBBLE SHIELD

HOLOGRAPHIC SCREENS (TECH OR ABILITY? BOTHER ZIRCS)

GARNET’S AWESOME FUTURE VISION THING

Lapis scanned down the list, stopping dead when she got to FUSION.

Steven did the same, eyes going wide. “So that’s why.”

“What do you mean?”

“When she came to me to ask about fusion, she told me she wasn’t sure Era 2 Gems could do it. She thought she couldn’t fuse. That might be why she was doing this.”

“Oh, Peri…” Lapis sank back down on a nearby stool.

“Lapis…”

“No wonder she thought she couldn’t talk to me about this. She didn’t want to talk to me about fusion. Why would she? The only time I’ve fused it was a _nightmare._ That’s not what she wants, that’s not what she needs -- she deserves so much better --”

“Lapis!” Steven gently shook her to try to break her from her despair spiral. “That’s not why! Listen. She came to me to learn how to fuse, but… the entire time we were fused, she kept thinking about you. Or trying really hard not to think about you. She had a fun time fusing, and I think she really wants to share it with you.”

Lapis looked away sadly, trying to think of a response.

“You should probably be hearing this from her, but… she loves you, Lapis.”

“I know that, Steven.”

She had known that for a while. She pretended like she didn’t know, but _of course_ she did. Peridot was not subtle. She wore her heart on her sleeve in a way that Lapis could never imagine being able to do. She had known all along that Peridot loved her, but she didn’t want to accept it, because…

“She deserves better.”

Steven looked down. “You know, that’s how I feel about Connie.”

“Really?”

“You know how much I put her through? She nearly got kidnapped by Aquamarine. She fought the Diamonds. She got trapped in White Diamond’s head with me, and she could have died, and there was nothing I could do for her. She did all of those things because she cares about me… and sometimes I can’t stand it.”

Lapis involuntarily flashed back to Peridot’s face, when she had lifted the barn off the ground and taken her best friend’s entire life into space. “That’s… yeah. I get that.”

“You know what Garnet told me?”

“What?”

“Love isn’t about what you deserve.”

Lapis scoffed. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“That’s what I said,” he said. “I think it means… Peri doesn’t love you because you _deserve_ it. She loves you because you’re you. You can either accept that, or not.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “I think Peri knows pretty much everything about you, and she loves you anyway. Maybe you deserve it more than you think.”

“You’re such a sap, Steven.” Lapis laughed sadly.

“Yeah, I know. You should really be hearing all this from her. You know, _when_ we get her back.” He nudged his head towards the glowing gem.

Lapis tried to compose herself again. “Right. _When_ we get her back.” Hearing Steven say it almost made her believe it. “Let’s finish this.”

“So I should just pick the abilities she already has, right? Like with the knowledge menu. That’d be safest.” He checked ENHANCED RESILIENCE, ENHANCED INTELLIGENCE, FERROKINESIS, BUBBLING, and hovered over FUSION for a second before picking it.

“She might get mad at us for not giving her shapeshifting, but yeah, I think that’s probably a good idea.”

“Right. Hey, Lapis?”

“Yeah?”

Steven pointed at GARNET’S AWESOME FUTURE VISION THING. “Even if she gets this working, we probably shouldn’t let her give herself future vision.”

“Oh wow, yeah, she’d handle that _really_ badly.” They both laughed.

The button at the end of the list said FINISH. “Are you ready?”

Lapis shook her head. “I won’t ever be ready for this. Push the button.” She tried to crush down her hope that Peridot had already removed the “memory wiping” aspect of her experimental Rejuvenator.

Steven pushed the button, and the Gem began to float and glow. He held his breath. Lapis clenched her fists.

Before she could fully brace herself, Peridot reappeared, looking exactly as she had a few hours ago -- except for the completely bewildered look in her eyes. Lapis could immediately tell that she was gone. She tried to fight down her crushing despair.

“This is Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, reporting for duty,” she said. She turned to Lapis. “Are you… my supervisor…?” She hastily stood up straight and saluted. “Uh, my Lapis Lazuli.”

Lapis braced herself, put a hand on top of Peridot’s Diamond salute, and gently pushed it downwards. “Just Lapis. You don’t have a supervisor.”

Peridot visibly recoiled. “Then who am I going to get my missions from?”

“Me, but I’m not your supervisor. Just roll with it, okay?”

“Roll…?”

“I have a mission for you. Do you want it or not?”

Peridot blinked in confusion. “...Yes?”

“Listen. This is going to sound weird, but you lost all your memories.”

“What?!” Peridot looked extremely offended. “That’s not true! I mean… my Lapis Lazuli, you must be mistaken. I have complete knowledge of everything I need to know to do my job, including a full kindergarten certification.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” said Lapis. “You had important memories. Memories that had nothing to do with your job. You need to get them back. The world depends on it.”

Peridot was obviously baffled. “But… me? A Peridot? Yes, I am a highly _qualified_ Peridot, but… you’re saying the _world depends on it?”_

Lapis thought she could see the tiniest spark of ego in her eyes. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. “Yes.” She pounded her fist into her hand.

“My Lapis Lazuli!” She saluted again. “How do I get these extremely important memories back?”

“Well… we’re not sure, yet. We’re going to help you. We’re going to try some things.” She leaned in close. “We’re going to experiment.”

Peridot blushed blue. “...okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this stress-filled chapter!
> 
>  _Professionals_ now has a [TVTropes page!](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/Professionals) Please check it out and add to it if you like! Thanks to [AlLind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlLind/pseuds/AlLind) for creating it.
> 
> I wanted to provide a shout-out to [Boundless Future](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21994420/chapters/52485664) by [RaineLionheart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaineLionheart/pseuds/RaineLionheart), which also deals with the Era 3 transition and which also features a Zircs with Earth madness.
> 
> Stay safe!


	10. Peridot Joins a Cult

A Lapis Lazuli! She worked for a Lapis Lazuli. She couldn’t _believe_ her luck. According to her programming, Peridots generally reported to Agates. That was acceptable, of course -- after all, the Diamonds would not have designed the caste hierarchy that way if it weren’t entirely logical -- but she still felt fortunate to be in the service of a Lapis Lazuli. They were rare and elite Gems, and had powerful hydrokinesis that they could use to efficiently terraform planets. The Lazuli that stood before her seemed particularly formidable, too. Peridot wouldn’t be surprised if she were close to a perfect cut, but her Gem was unfortunately not visible.

This was all almost exciting enough to distract her from the deeply disturbing circumstances in which Peridot had found herself.

She was obviously not newly formed -- after all, this wasn’t a kindergarten -- yet she seemed to have no personal memories, simply the knowledge that all Peridots had innately. Instead of a kindergarten control room, a spaceship hangar, a solar core bay or any of the other places you might expect to find a Peridot, she was in what appeared to be a large cave. It was filled with all sorts of tools and tech, but also many bizarre artifacts that she didn’t even have a name for. One of the work tables looked as though something had exploded, debris surrounding it in a wide circle.

She turned her attention to the Gem in front of her. Impressive though she was, it was highly irregular for a Peridot to be assigned to a Lapis Lazuli. Furthermore, her uniform, although quite attractive, was clearly not regulation. 

Then there was her companion. She didn’t even know _where to begin_ there.

“Permission to ask a question, my Lapis Lazuli?” she said, saluting.

“Yes,” she said, emphatically. “Ask questions. Ask all the questions you want.”

All the questions she wanted…? Lazuli’s offer seemed impossibly generous. Peridot felt a surge of warmth that she was fairly sure was inappropriate. She pushed it down -- she had no idea if this was a Gem she could actually trust. 

“I would like to inquire about your…” She gestured towards Steven.

“I’m Steven!” He took a step forward, giving a small wave. “I’m your friend!”

Peridot almost reeled back from the entirely bizarre feeling that suddenly invaded her consciousness. It felt like static in her mind, as though she were a broken transceiver tuned to the wrong channel. This was the second time it had happened -- the first was right after she had woken up and laid eyes on the Lapis Lazuli. It was a flash of the ocean, a rolling green field, something warm and aching.

It was, perhaps, a side effect of whatever had left her with no personal memories. At least, she hoped that was what it was. The likely alternative, that she was innately defective, was far worse. 

She didn’t understand it at all, and she _hated_ it. She was going to have to figure out how to make it stop.

“Hey, Peri, are you okay? I know it’s a lot to process,” said the Steven, stepping closer.

“Steven,” she repeated, pulling herself out of her head. “What _are_ you? Are you fully sentient? Is Steven your individual name, or your species name?”

“ _Yes,_ he’s sentient. He’s your friend, Peri,” said Lazuli, with mild irritation.

“She doesn’t know better, Lapis. We’re gonna have to be patient, remember?”

Peridot glared. She didn’t especially appreciate being talked about as though there were something wrong with her.

“Steven is my name. I’m part human, which is a kind of organic life, but I’m also part Gem, see?” He lifted up his shirt to reveal a gleaming pink gemstone.

“A… quartz?” It had to be a quartz, and an impressively flawless one at that, but she had never seen a quartz quite that shade before. There was something slightly odd about it that she couldn’t place.

Lazuli turned to Steven, making a quick hand gesture in the shape of a diamond. Steven shook his head.

“Yup, I’m a quartz! Just a regular quartz. Steven Quartz Universe.”

“And you’re a hybrid -- how is that possible?”

Steven blushed. “That is a long and kinda inappropriate story!” 

He smiled and took a step forward. Peridot couldn’t stop herself from flinching and stepping back, right into a messy table, knocking a few machine parts onto the ground. 

She was so small compared to him. Shouldn’t she have been issued limb enhancers? There was something in her programming about limb enhancers. He was larger than her, and a Quartz soldier to boot. She didn’t have any idea how his hybrid nature would impact his capabilities, but considering she had no weapons, it was safe to assume he would easily best her in combat if she attempted to fight or escape.

Honestly, that was a bit of a moot point -- the Lazuli could shatter her easily. At least for the moment, she was entirely at these strange Gems’ mercy. Her limbs shook as she fought down an impending panic meltdown.

“Peridot, I know you’re scared and confused,” said Steven, in a tone that was surprisingly kind and gentle. “But we really are your friends, and we’re going to do everything we can to help you, and… we love you.” He turned to Lazuli and smiled. “Right, Lapis?”

Lazuli hesitated, and then -- “Right.” 

Peridot tensed up as Lazuli suddenly pulled her into a warm hug. Her mind fuzzed into static again -- _warm sun, an old building, the smell of dirt_ \-- which she pushed out as fast as she could. 

A part of her really wanted to believe them, to go along with whatever they wanted, to allow herself to dissolve into the warm static.

She absolutely had to fight that. She wasn’t sure what they had done to her, but she knew it was _incredibly dangerous._

Peridot breathed a sigh of relief as Lazuli released her. 

“We should do something to help you,” said Lazuli. “Let’s watch _Camp Pining Hearts!_ ”

“That’s a great idea!” said Steven. “That’s one of the things we did together when Peri was new to Earth. That could definitely help with her memory.”

“I’ll pick out your favorite episodes. Maybe a season one episode since you’re not familiar with the characters… like the canoe race! That has a really good Percy/Pierre scene in it too.” Lazuli pulled Peridot over to an oversized brown couch and gently pushed her down onto it. Peridot sank into the soft cushion. “Let me get it set up.” Lazuli began sorting through a pile of thin boxes sitting next to a medium-sized screen. “Where’s Season One? I wish you kept these organized, Peri. Not that you know what I’m talking about.”

Peridot got a good look at Lazuli’s gem when she turned her back. She was indeed a perfect cut. Impressive.

Steven stood nearby, lost in thought. “Hey, Lapis? I have an idea. I’m going to go to the house real quick while you get started, okay?”

“Sure, we’ll be fine,” said Lazuli, flipping through the boxes. “We’ve got a _lot_ of _Camp Pining Hearts_ to go through.”

Steven exited the cave -- Peridot made a mental note of the exit, just in case.

“Got it!” said Lazuli. She pulled a shiny disc from a case and inserted it into a slot in a device just below the screen. She sat next to Peridot on the couch, smiling. “You’re gonna love this.”

* * *

Peridot emphatically did not love _Camp Pining Hearts._

Truthfully, when she had realized it was not a training video but instead some kind of inane entertainment starring humans, she had more or less completely tuned it out. Lazuli actually seemed to be watching the screen. She had been mercifully granted a moment to think, and it would be a waste not to use that to her advantage.

Waking up in a strange underground cave, her memory wiped, with dangerous Gems claiming to be her friend, there was only one logical conclusion: She had been kidnapped, probably by some kind of rebel cell. She didn’t know for sure why they’d go through the trouble of kidnapping an ordinary (perhaps above average) Peridot, but perhaps that was how they recruited new Gems to their cause. They needed a Peridot for maintaining their tech, so they kidnap one and convince her that she’s been on their side all along.

Perhaps that’s what those flashes of static were -- some kind of primitive mind control, designed to disrupt her ordinary thought processes and make her look more favorably on her captors.

One thing was certain: she could not let them know that she suspected anything. If they knew she was trying to resist them, who knows what they might do? They could wipe her memory again, or increase their brainwashing efforts in an attempt to break her. They might even decide she wasn’t worth the trouble and bubble or shatter her. 

She had carefully evaluated all of her options for escaping the cave, and didn’t like her odds. Lazuli sat between her and what seemed to be the only exit, and she could trivially entrap Peridot in her water appendages the second she tried to make a break for it. There were plenty of things in the cave that could be used as weapons, but again, nothing she could grab before Lazuli was onto her. Without limb enhancers, her chances were grim. They must have removed her limb enhancers when she was unconscious. Perhaps she could somehow find out where they had put them.

At the moment, her best plan was to go along with everything and let them think their recruitment was working. Then, when they inevitably let their guard down, she could escape. Hopefully, she could find a warp pad or spaceship to take her to safety -- another good reason to hold off on revealing herself. Even if she could escape on foot, she wouldn’t get far at all before being recaptured.

Towards the end of the show, Steven turned up and stood behind the couch to watch the end.

“I’m sorry I tipped your canoe, Percy,” said one of the humans on screen, sitting in a narrow water conveyance with another human.

“I’m sorry I got so heated over something as silly as a canoe race,” said Pierre. “Still friends?”

“Still friends.”

Lazuli and Steven both suddenly turned to Peridot as though they were expecting some kind of reaction. “Uhhh…” she said, put on the spot. “It’s… good that they’re friends? Even though personal attachments serve little purpose and reduce productivity and are highly discouraged by the Diamonds, we… like… friends?”

She smiled. Nailed it.

Or perhaps not, because Lazuli sighed and looked away. 

“Was that not an acceptable answer?” said Peridot, bewildered.

“It’s okay, Peri,” said Steven, putting a hand on her shoulder. “I’ve got another idea.” He held up…

A Diamond communicator?!

“Steven!” said Lapis. “Why in the stars do you have that?”

“Well, Peri became a Crystal Gem when she told off Yellow Diamond and called her a clod, right? We could call up Yellow right now.”

Peridot felt a chill settle into her core. They really _were_ anti-Diamond rebels. How was she going to get out of this?

“That’s a terrible idea,” said Lazuli, much to Peridot’s relief. 

“Why? Afterwards, I’ll just explain to Yellow what we were doing. She’ll understand. Well, she probably won’t _understand,_ but she won’t be mad at us.”

“That’s just it, Steven. If we tell Peridot to call her a clod and Yellow is fine with it, it’s not the same situation at all. It might actually make things worse, because it was so different from what happened before.”

Steven set the communicator down. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Okay, scratch that.”

“Let’s take her up to the greenhouse!” said Lazuli. 

“Oh, good idea.” There was a soft buzzing sound, and Steven pulled what appeared to be a small communication device out of a pocket. “I should tell the rest of the Crystal Gems what’s up, too. No one was around the house.” He typed something out. “Where’s Peri’s phone, anyway?”

“It’s probably in the hammock. I’ll go get it.” Lazuli flew up to the sideways banner hanging from the ceiling, grabbed another small communication device, and handed it to Peridot. “This is a phone. They’re pretty simple. I’ll teach you to use it later, okay?”

“Okay,” said Peridot, pressing its only button. She had one message.

 **-Unknown Number-:** dont trust them

Oh, _stars._

She quickly clicked off the phone before anyone else noticed.

* * *

“...so these are the tomato plants. You see these big red things? Humans eat them.”

“They’re _delicious!”_ said Steven.

“They’re not too hard to grow. We used to grow them near the barn.” Lazuli looked toward Peridot, who nodded as though she understood what a ‘barn’ was. “You have to water them every day.”

“Water them every day, got it.” Peridot was, at least, less bored by the greenhouse than she was by the questionable “entertainment.” If you could get over the fact that they, for some reason, were actually _cultivating organics_ instead of removing them, the work here had a lot of similarities to kindergarten maintenance, in a way -- all of the different varieties of plants, with their various needs and potential problems that one had to watch out for. 

It felt familiar, almost comfortable. Unfortunately, that feeling of familiarity was causing the static to creep up on her again. She did her best to remain task-focused. If this greenhouse was going to be part of her work in this rebel cult, it was in her best interest to do it well, and reduce potential scrutiny.

Lazuli and Steven were sticking close to her, so her chances of escape weren’t any better here than they were in the cave. Putting her phone away in her gem did make her remember to take stock of what she had in her gemstone. A dismaying amount of utter trash, for the most part, but there were also a few weapons, things that could serve as weapons in a pinch, and things that weren’t strictly weapons but could still potentially aid her in an escape.

What had she been _doing_ , exactly, that warranted so many random and potentially dangerous items in her gem storage? At some point, she would have to figure out how to reverse the memory wipe, if that were even possible. 

What she really needed was for them to leave her alone long enough to sneak back into the cave, where the Diamond communicator was sitting on a table, forgotten. If she could use it to contact Yellow Diamond, she could potentially get rescued and alert Yellow Diamond of the rebel plot against her, no doubt earning her praise and a top kindergarten assignment.

“These are the hibiscus,” said Lazuli, gesturing to a group of plants with enormous, multicolored flowers. They were beautiful -- if organic life could be said to have beauty. Smiling, Lapis pulled a bright red bloom off a plant and stuck it right in Peridot’s hair.

Peridot shrieked, ripped it out of her hair and chucked it across the greenhouse.

Lazuli looked stunned, then laughed. “It’s just a flower, Peri, it’s not gonna kill you.”

“I’m sorry, my Lapis Lazuli,” said Peridot, saluting.

“It’s fine. And just Lapis, okay? And no saluting.” 

_Of course_ she didn’t want her to perform a Diamond salute. “I understand, my… Lapis. Just Lapis.”

Lapis smiled at her, and her world went white with static. Peridot shook it off.

“Hey, guys!” said an enormous gray Gem standing at the entrance to the greenhouse. 

“Bis!” said Lapis. “Peri’s --”

“I know,” she said. “Steven texted everyone.”

“I thought they could help,” said Steven.

Peridot did her best not to glare at Steven. More Gems getting involved in her captivity was exactly what she didn’t need, especially if they were all going to be as imposing as this obviously high quality Bismuth.

“Hey, Peri!” said the Bismuth, squatting down to her level and holding out a hand. “I know you don’t remember me, but I’m Bismuth. You can call me Bis if you want.”

Peridot nodded nervously, not sure what to do about Bismuth’s outstretched hand. “Yes, it’s good to meet you, Bismuth.”

For the second time in as many minutes, Peridot felt another burst of static. She involuntarily took a step backwards. They must be increasing their rebel brainwashing. Maybe they were onto her?

Bismuth looked sad. “Slag, you really don’t remember, do you?” 

“She keeps looking like she’s going to remember, and then she… doesn’t.”

“It’s gonna take some time, Lapis,” said Steven. “It took the others a while, and we had to figure out the right things to do.” 

The right things to do…? To do _what?_

And then there was that message -- “dont trust them.” Where had that come from? If she could just get a minute alone, she might be able to message back…

“I thought maybe it’d help if we all built something together!” said Bismuth, standing up and regaining some of her cheer. “Peri loves that.”

“That’s such a good idea!” said Lapis, enthusiastically. “What do you think, Peri? Wanna go build something?”

“Yes!” said Peridot, surprised to realize that she actually did. Building something was at least in her wheelhouse.

“Great! What do you think we should build?” asked Bismuth.

“Um…”

“We could just go make some rivets, you like doing that. Or we could forge swords, that’s always fun.”

“Swords! Yes! I would like to make a sword!” Peridot couldn’t believe that Bismuth was proposing she make a _weapon._

“Wait, is that a good idea?” said Lapis.

“Eh, maybe not,” Bismuth agreed. “What’s something meaningful that Peridot worked on? Maybe we could make a new building for Little Homeworld?”

“Well, the first thing we built together was the drill,” said Steven. “I guess we probably shouldn’t drill down to the Cluster now, though. It needs its beauty sleep.” He thought for a second. “Wait, no! I’ve got it. _Giant robot.”_

“Giant robot?” said Bismuth.

“Even before we built the drill with Peridot, she built a giant robot to compete with Pearl! We could build giant robots!”

“I don’t know, Steven,” said Lapis. “I was kind of thinking that even the sword idea was dangerous. A giant robot is going in the wrong direction.”

“It doesn’t have to be dangerous! We don’t have to put any weapons or anything on it. It can be a peaceful giant robot. Giant robots shouldn’t fight, anyway!”

“I would very much like to build a giant robot!” Peridot chimed in. Even if it didn’t have weapons, it was still something she could potentially use to escape. That was obviously her primary reason, and not because building a giant robot sounded like _fun._

* * *

Peridot watched with rapt attention as Bismuth heated up a slab of metal and began to pound it into the curved shape needed for the (peaceful, non-fighting) giant robot they had all designed together. She wasn’t sure why Steven had insisted it should be pink with cat ears, but she was willing to go with it.

Steven and Lapis were sitting next to each other on one of the warm stone benches that lined the forge, taking a short break from helping with the work. The forge felt cozy and familiar in much the same way that the greenhouse had, and Peridot had received another flash of mental static when she had entered it. She had to be careful and stay focused. 

There was a warp pad not far outside the forge, which was probably her best bet if she managed to escape. She’d really like to get that Diamond communicator if she could, but it might not be feasible.

She gazed longingly outside of the door of the forge. The colony in which she had found herself was peaceful, colorful, cheery, quaint, beautiful -- and an inefficient affront that violated every principle of colony construction and maintenance that had been built into her gem. Really, she’d be doing these Gems a favor by introducing them back into proper civilization.

“Pearl’s going to come by,” said Steven quietly to Lapis, looking at his phone. “Garnet’s off-world for another day or so, but Amethyst said she’d stop by once her classes are done.”

“That’s cool,” said Lapis.

“And… Zircs is really upset still.”

“Mmm.” Lapis glared at the floor.

“You should probably go talk to her. Peri would want you two to make up.”

“I guess. When Peri’s back, I’ll go.”

“Lapis, c’mon. You know it wasn’t _actually_ her fault.”

Lapis crossed her arms. “Yeah, I know. I’m just… I’m not really up for being the bigger Gem right now, okay? Everything’s kind of terrible.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Steven, sadly. “If I go talk to her, can I tell her it’s not her fault?”

“...Yeah.”

A few minutes after Steven left, a heavily customized Pearl wearing an aqua-green jacket walked into the forge. Her face lit up upon seeing Bismuth. “Hi, Bis!”

“Pearl, hey! Come to join the giant robot party?”

“I think I might! At least for a little while. I, well, I heard about what happened.” She turned to Peridot. “Hello, Peridot! I’m Pearl. I’m your friend, more or less.”

Peridot glanced towards the door, wondering where the Pearl’s owner was. She must have sent this Pearl out on an errand. “Very good to meet you, Pearl,” she said politely.

“May I see the plans for the robot?” 

Peridot shrugged, not really understanding what a Pearl wanted with robot plans, but also not seeing the harm. She spread out the blueprints -- they had been created on primitive Earth organic matter, at Bismuth’s insistence. Something about authenticity.

Pearl smiled. “I see that Steven had a hand in creating this. The cat ears are a very nice touch.” With an air of someone testing the waters, she said, “So… is there anything I can help with?”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. “You mean like… holding tools?”

Pearl slumped slightly. “Of course, I see we’re back to this again.”

“Be patient with her while she’s Rejuvenated.” Bismuth laughed. “Or do I have to remind you about ‘my um Greg Universe’?”

Pearl blushed. “Yes, yes, you’ve made your point.”

“Here, why don’t you help me hold this steady while I hammer it out?” asked Bismuth, gesturing to the gleaming piece of metal she was working on.

“Certainly.” She looked over at Peridot, who was glaring warily at her. “How did this happen, anyway? Steven was saying something about sabotage?”

“Shh, we’re not telling --” Bismuth glanced over at Peridot.

“Not telling me what?”

“Nothing, it’s not important,” said Bismuth. “I don’t think I got the whole story, anyway, but I guess Zircs thinks that’s what happened. Steven went to talk to her.”

“I see.”

Static fuzzed at Peridot’s vision as her frustration boiled over. She couldn’t afford to upset her captors too much, but she couldn’t stand them talking about her like she wasn’t even there. “ _What_ are you not telling me?!” she demanded.

Bismuth sighed and looked at Pearl. “Sorry,” Pearl said.

“Look, Peri,” said Bismuth, placing an enormous hand on her shoulder, “we’re not really sure how you got memory wiped yet. It may have been an accident, but… we’re worried that some Gem could have done this to you on purpose.”

Peridot blinked. Were they _not_ the ones who had erased her memory? Or was this all just a story they were telling her? After all, if they really were going around wiping Gems’ memories, they would have to have some kind of plausible explanation.

“How would it have been an accident?” Peridot asked suspiciously.

“Well, you were experimenting with a Rejuvenator --”

“She was what?!” said Pearl, dropping the metal she was holding. “Why on Earth were you experimenting with a Rejuvenator?!”

“I don’t remember, obviously!”

“She was trying to alter her own gem,” Lapis chimed in from her perch on the stone bench. “She thought…” Lapis trailed off.

Peridot’s head spun. If they were telling the truth, why would she be doing something like that? Maybe she was better off this way -- her past self seemed like a complete clod.

“You said sabotage,” said Peridot.

“Someone might have rigged the Rejuvenator to explode,” said Lapis.

“Should… someone… be investigating that?” said Peridot, wide-eyed.

“Yeah, Steven’s working on that,” said Bismuth.

“Bis, a word?” Pearl pulled Bismuth to the back of the forge and began talking about something in low tones.

Peridot looked around. Lapis was sitting between her and what appeared to be the only doorway out, making escape unlikely, but she was engrossed in her phone. This was, perhaps, a good opportunity to follow up on the mysterious message she had earlier.

 **-Unknown Number-:** dont trust them

 **PERI5XG:** WHO ARE YOU

An answer popped up surprisingly quickly.

 **-Unknown Number-:** another peridot

 **-Unknown Number-:** we were on the same colony

 **PERI5XG:** DID THEY CAPTURE YOU TOO?

 **-Unknown Number-:** yes

 **-Unknown Number-:** be careful of them

 **-Unknown Number-:** especially the lapis lazuli

 **-Unknown Number-:** shes the most dangerous

 **PERI5XG:** I THINK SHE’S TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME

 **-Unknown Number-:** oh yeah shes totally trying to brainwash you

 **-Unknown Number-:** she acts like shes your friend thats how she gets you

 **-Unknown Number-:** she didnt get me yet tho

 **PERI5XG:** HOW DO I STOP HER???

 **-Unknown Number-:** if i knew how id do it

 **-Unknown Number-:** you gotta figure it out

 **-Unknown Number-:** if you could stop that lapis lazuli youd save us all

“Hey Peri, what are you up to?”

Peridot yelped and nearly dropped her phone in surprise. Lapis was looking right at her. 

“I’m, uh, I’m merely examining this piece of archaic technology!” 

“Oh, your phone?” asked Lapis, apparently buying it. “Come sit over here, I’ll show you how to use it.”

Peridot hastily closed the conversation she had been having with Unknown Number. “Yes, my Lapis. I mean. Lapis.”

She looked up. Lapis smiled at her and patted the bench. Peridot’s entire mind went out of focus.

She was doomed.

* * *

Indeed, it was almost impossible for Peridot to avoid falling into a comfortable rhythm as she worked with the other Gems on their robot project. The fires of the forge were warm and cozy, the friendly chatter of the Gems was comforting, and the work was steady and satisfying. Bismuth patiently showed her how to make rivets and pour metal into molds. 

She couldn’t help feeling like she belonged. If this was some kind of manipulation, they were doing an impressive job. It was almost enough to make her want to simply give up and go with it. Almost, but she was smarter than that.

She kept thinking of those strange, anonymous messages, though. It wasn’t as though she knew she could trust those, either, but what if they were real? She wished she had had just a little more time to ask a few more questions. Questions like: What will they do with me if they successfully convert me? and Why would they go through all this trouble for me, specifically?

That last one really applied whether or not this group was being sincere. She must have been someone important. She wished she knew why.

If it were just the messages, it’d be one thing, but she knew deep in her programming that everything about this weird cult was violating the order designed by the Diamonds: Gems of different castes minging and working on things outside of their designated jobs, a woefully inefficient colony structure, cultivating organics on purpose, spending so much time “having fun” instead of performing the tasks they were assigned to. Even if they were genuinely nice, it couldn’t last. She couldn’t stay.

The work went quickly, and before Peridot knew it they were putting on the finishing touches. A clearly defective Amethyst joined them outside of the forge as they applied decals, a pointless step that everyone insisted was necessary. 

“Hey, P-dot! Heard you don’t remember me!”

Peridot fought back a now-familiar wave of mental static. “Hello. You’re an… Amethyst.” She could understand why an Amethyst like this would want to join a rebel colony. She’d be condemned to shattering back home. All the more evidence that this group was operating well outside of Diamond oversight.

“That’s right,” said Amethyst, grinning. “You’re still a big nerd, though, right?”

“What’s a nerd?”

“You!” Amethyst ruffled her hair and laughed. Peridot, irritated, brushed her hand away.

“Well, I think we’re just about finished here,” said Bismuth, stepping back and admiring their handiwork. The giant robot was actually not that much larger than Bismuth, and it was really more of a robot exoskeleton than anything else. It was large enough for Peridot, though -- she had made sure of that during the planning stages.

“It looks great!” said Pearl, clapping her hands together. “Good job, everyone!”

Hijacking this robot would tip her hand. She had only one chance to get this right.

“So what do you think, Peri?” asked Lapis. “Did you have fun?”

“Yes, my Lapis!” she said, forgetting to correct herself. “Permission to sit in the robot?”

“Well, I don’t know… you’re not going to go too far, are you?”

Bismuth shrugged. “We’re all here. I’m sure she can’t get into too much trouble, right?”

“Yessss!” Peridot didn’t wait for further discussion before climbing up the robot and into the cockpit. She tried a few of the levers to move the arms and legs, hopefully lulling them into a false sense of security while she made sure it was appropriately calibrated for her escape. The warp pad was within her sight.

“How’s it lookin’, Peri?” asked Bismuth.

“It works great!” she said, giving a cheerful thumbs up. _“For my daring escape! Nya ha ha ha ha!”_

Peridot turned the robot, knocking Pearl out of the way, and began directing it to the warp pad as fast as she could make it run. Finally, she would be free of this insane cult and their incorrect way of living and their staticky brainwashing and their confusing emotions.

Not having full control over the robot, she tripped over the edge of the warp pad as she reached it. She caught herself on the robot’s touch stumps, but the weight cracked the warp pad. She made incoherent flustered noises as she righted the robot and began to dash away, the other Gems following closely behind her and catching up fast.

Suddenly she ran face first into a bright pink wall that appeared out of nowhere, the robot bouncing off. Before she could recover and steer in another direction, she lost her balance as Bismuth picked up one of the robot’s feet.

Amethyst’s face popped up in her viewport. “Hey, P,” she said, casually smashing it open and pulling Peridot out. “Nothing personal. This is for your own good.”

Amethyst tossed Peridot lightly into the air, where she was caught in a water bubble and suspended there. “I’m sorry, Peridot,” said Lapis. “You’ll thank us later.”

With no robot and no weapons, Peridot couldn’t do anything to break free of the water bubble. It was restricting the movement of her arms enough that she couldn’t even get at her gem to try and pull something out. “Let me go, you clods! You’ll never convert me!”

“What?!” said Lapis, confused. “Peri, what are you talking about?”

“You kidnapped me!” Peridot shrieked. “You kidnapped me and wiped my memory and tried to brainwash me with your friendship and your inane human entertainments, and now that you know that I’m on to you you’re probably going to shatter me!” Her voice rose to a panicked fever pitch.

Lapis and Amethyst looked at each other, stunned, before Amethyst broke out into a hysterical laugh. “Ahahaha, you think _that’s_ what happened?”

“Amethyst, it’s not funny! She really thinks that!”

“Oh come on, it’s a _little_ funny.” 

“Peri, no one here is going to shatter you. We didn’t kidnap you, either,” said Lapis.

“That’s exactly what you want me to think!”

“Yes. Yes, it is.”

“Are you guys okay?” Steven had run up and was standing just below where Peridot was floating.

“Peridot broke the warp pad. You’re gonna have to go fix it, Steven,” said Bismuth. “Good thing we caught her before she did more damage. Or damaged herself.”

“I wasn’t going to damage myself, you clumps of dirt! Let me go!” Peridot struggled uselessly in the bubble. She slowly turned upside down as Lapis lowered her closer to the ground.

“Peri, what are you doing? We’re your friends!” said Steven.

“You’re just pretending to be my friends so you can brainwash me! I figured it out!” On second thought, Steven did seem genuinely nice. Maybe he was trapped here, too. “You have to fight the static, Steven! That’s how they get you!”

“Static…? What are you talking about?”

“The static! The mental static!”

“Oh good, Peri’s come totally unhinged,” said a fussy looking blue Gem, walking up to the group. Her type was easily identified: a Zircon with a tiny flaw in the upper left quadrant. Her presence was not helping with the static.

“She thinks we kidnapped her and are trying to brainwash her,” Amethyst explained. 

“That’s actually a fairly reasonable conclusion to draw, given the circumstances.”

“See, this Zircon agrees with me!” shouted Peridot, spinning slowly in her water prison.

“Not helping, Zircs,” said Bismuth.

“Sorry.”

Lapis glared at the new arrival, causing her to visibly cringe. 

“Look, Peridot,” said Steven, turning the water bubble so she was right side up again. “We’re your friends. We’re really, genuinely your friends. No one’s kidnapped you.”

“Peri, remember that I told you your memory wiping was an accident?” said Bismuth. Zircon cleared her throat. “Or sabotage. But it wasn’t us.”

“If that’s true, then why? Why spend all this time on me? Why not just leave me alone? I am fully capable of performing my job with the knowledge granted me by my gem.”

“Because it’s not about your job, Peri,” said Lapis. “We want _you_ back.”

Peridot’s head swam. “If this isn’t some insane rebel cult, then why is your colony so inefficient? Why are you violating so many _rules?”_

“A lot has changed since you were first made, Peri,” said Steven. “I know it’s a lot to get used to, but… Gems are all equal now. They’re allowed to do whatever jobs they want! We’re allowed to live like this, side by side with organic life! You used to love this place.”

“You know what we should do?” said Zircon. “We need to re-establish Peri’s Earth madness.”

“Earth madness? Is that what this is?!” said Peridot, alarmed.

“Oh, I keep saying exactly the wrong thing, don’t I?” said Zircon, facepalming. 

“Is that what the static is?!”

“You keep talking about static,” said Steven. “None of us know what the static is.”

Peridot hesitated. She still wasn’t entirely sure she should trust them, but…

“Peri, if there’s a problem, we’re all going to help you with it. I promise.”

...even if they were an insane, rebellious, brainwashing cult, it was getting increasingly difficult for her to see them as an _evil_ one. Perhaps they were simply succeeding in breaking her resolve.

She might not even have much of a choice but to go along with it, at least for now.

Would it really be _so_ bad? It hadn’t been bad so far.

“If I agree to explain, would you at least put me down?”

“Oh, right!” said Lapis. “Here you go.” She set the bubble gently on the ground and dissipated it.

The Gems didn’t threaten her, or tell her not to run, but she did notice that they surrounded her in a loose circle, obviously concerned about the possibility even without vocalizing it. She didn’t realize she could feel more awkward than she had when floating in a water bubble, but she did.

“I agreed to explain things to Steven, not to everyone!” she said, petulantly. 

“Sure, Peri.” Steven laughed. “Let’s go talk.”

“Steven, are you sure…?” asked Pearl.

“It’s Peridot. I trust her.”

“What? Why?” Peridot couldn’t stop herself from saying it, even though she was aware she was hurting her case. “I _just_ tried to steal a giant robot, escape from you guys, and contact the Diamonds!”

“Exactly,” said Steven. “The last time you did that, everything ended up working out. Now, c’mon.” He placed his hand on her back and gently led her away from the group, who made no motion to follow.

The sun had nearly set, and the stars were coming out. A cool night breeze blew through the trees, making a gentle rustling noise. Peridot allowed Steven to take her to a small bench made of hard organic material, located next to a quietly bubbling fountain. As she looked out across the town, she felt an almost unbearable ache in her chest.

“Peridot, are you okay?” asked Steven.

“No!” she shouted, louder than she intended. “This place is ridiculous and you’re all insane, and I don’t understand anything that’s going on around me, and I just want to be assigned to a neatly maintained kindergarten and work on things that make sense.” She fought to keep herself from crying. “If you haven’t actually kidnapped me, then why don’t you let me go?”

“Because this is your home. You just don’t remember it right now.”

She thought of the Gems laughing and building things together back at the forge. They treated her like she belonged, even though she had no idea who they were. They were patient, and they explained things, and let her help with the plans…

“I wish I could remember it. I wish I could remember _you._ I still don’t understand why you’re willing to trust me.”

“Because I know you. Yeah, you got your memory erased, but you’re still Peridot, and that means you’ve got a big ol’ secret heart.” He pointed at her chest.

“What’s a heart?”

He laughed. “It means that you care a lot. You love this town, and you love your friends. I think we can get your memories back, but even if we didn’t, I think we’d make a lot of new memories, and eventually you’d love all of us all over again, ‘cause that’s who you are.” He looked up at the night sky. “I want you to know that even if you don’t ever remember me, I’m going to be there for you no matter what, because I know you’d do the same thing for me.”

A tear snaked out of Peridot’s eye before she could catch herself. A wave of static threatened to engulf her, making it almost impossible to think. She didn’t know how she felt about Steven. She didn’t know what she had done to make this bizarre hybrid creature into such a loyal companion. If he were telling the truth, then she had lost something crucially important, and had no way of knowing if she could ever get it back. 

“You kept talking about static earlier. What was that all about?”

“It’s a feeling I don’t know how to explain, Steven. It’s like I’m trying to listen to a communications frequency on a transceiver, and no matter how much I adjust the controls, I can’t get it to tune in. Or like I have a lot of important things to do that I’ve forgotten about, and any minute now I’m going to get into trouble for not having done them.”

“What kind of things cause you to feel like that?”

“Lots of things!” Peridot threw up her hands. “That Lapis Lazuli, in particular. Some of the other Gems. Some of the places we’ve gone. You’re pretty bad too.”

Steven smiled. “I think maybe that’s just your lost memories coming back?”

“Really?” said Peridot, skeptically. “Then why hasn’t it worked?”

“Well, what did you think was happening before?”

“I thought you were probably trying to brainwash me with some kind of primitive technology.”

“So, you were fighting it off?” said Steven. “Maybe you need to _not do that_ in order to remember stuff.”

“That is _exactly_ what you would say if you were trying to brainwash me!” Peridot pointed out. “But I suppose it’s also what you’d say if you weren’t and it really was the only way to get back my memories.” She did her best to steady her anxiety. “Steven, may I ask you a question?”

“Of course!”

“Let’s say, hypothetically, that you’re lying to me about the brainwashing tech. If I agree to your proposal and stop fighting it, what would you do with me once I joined your nefarious cult?”

“Well,” said Steven, “you’d have to share a living space with Lapis. And I’d give you a job doing maintenance and stuff around Little Homeworld. I’d come and visit sometimes, and we’d hang out together. You’d have to go help Bis in her forge sometimes, and go make Zircs take a break from her work, and come by the beach house for training and playing video games and stuff. And we’d watch _Camp Pining Hearts!”_

Peridot carefully considered. “All of that sounds acceptable, except perhaps for your inane entertainment.”

“You didn’t like _Camp Pining Hearts?!_ No way. I bet it’d grow on you if you gave it a chance.”

“No. That’s impossible. Why are you laughing?!” 

“No reason!”

“Well, despite your incorrect assertion that I could someday come to enjoy your excruciating human entertainment, I have decided that I agree to your terms.”

“So you’re going to try to remember?” Steven beamed with excitement.

“Yes! It should be trivial, considering how badly the static was affecting me before.” She closed her eyes, concentrated, and -- “Wait. If you’re lying about the brainwashing tech, you could be lying about all the other stuff.”

“Well, yeah,” said Steven. “I think you’re just gonna have to decide if you want to trust me or not.”

“...Fine.” She closed her eyes and concentrated again.

Unfortunately, now that she was _trying_ to invite the static, it wasn’t cooperating.

“Ugh, Steven, this isn’t working!” she said impatiently, after less than ten seconds of attempts. 

“It’s probably not going to work if you’re trying to force it,” he pointed out. “Next time you have a strong feeling like that, maybe you need to just let it happen.”

“I need to fetch the Lapis Lazuli,” she said, hitting her hand with her fist. “Her presence is fraught and confusing. She’s perfect.”

“If you say so,” said Steven. “I can text her, see where she’s gone.”

“I can text her myself!” said Peridot, proudly. “Lapis showed me how to use a ‘phone’ several hours ago.” Peridot pulled out her phone and stared at it as she suddenly remembered.

“What’s up, Peri? Did you forget how to text? I can show you again.”

“It’s not that.” If Steven was telling the truth, then she really should show him the texts she had received from an unknown number. The Gems had mentioned sabotage earlier -- if someone really had memory wiped her on purpose, this could easily be part of that. On the other hand, if she was wrong about Steven, she could be putting an innocent Peridot in danger.

She looked up at Steven, who looked back at her with concern.

She didn’t know why, but she didn’t think she was wrong about Steven.

“I received these strange messages earlier. You may want to take a look at them.” She pulled up the conversation with the unknown number, and only hesitated slightly before handing it to Steven.

Steven turned pale as he read through it. “Peridot, this -- I think this might have been the Gem who sabotaged the Rejuvenator!” 

“That’s what I thought!”

“I’m gonna send this to Zircs. She’s been investigating.” He typed a few things and handed Peridot her phone back. “Be careful, okay? We sent some Rubies around to try and find our prime suspects, but they haven’t had any luck yet. If you get a message like that again, let me know right away.”

Peridot felt uneasy. She hoped she had made the right choice. “Okay. Can I try texting Lapis now?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

She navigated through her contact list, but before she could find Lapis, a new message popped up. 

“What’s that?” said Steven. “Is it the unknown number?!”

“No, it’s a… ‘CourtLawyerZircon.’”

“Oh, that’s just Zircs responding to my text, since I used your phone. You can talk to her if you want.”

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Stars, Steven, I told you someone sabotaged the Rejuvenator to mindwipe Peri on purpose.

Before she could navigate the interface and provide a response, more messages appeared. The Zircon was a fast typist.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** They even identify themselves as a Peridot! They could be lying, of course, but still.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** This is definitive evidence that it was not an accident. Make sure Peri doesn’t erase those messages in case we need them in court.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** I hope no one’s leaving her by herself, either.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Can you make sure she understands the danger? You’d be much better at being reassuring than I would.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** I’ll be honest, Steven, if anything else happens today, I am probably going to lose it. A second time. A third time?

 **PERI5XG:** I’M NOT STEVEN

 **PERI5XG:** I’M PERIDOT

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Oh, stars. Of course he gave you back your phone. Hello, Peri.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Please disregard my last messages.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** In fact, ignore me entirely.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Unless you feel like talking to me would help jar your memories! Then please talk to me.

 **PERI5XG:** IT’S DIFFICULT TO IGNORE YOU WHILE YOU KEEP SENDING ME MESSAGES

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** If I were in possession of an irony-powered engine, that last statement, coming from you, could power Little Homeworld for a year.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** That is not an invitation to attempt to invent an irony-powered engine.

 **PERI5XG:** OKAY.

 **PERI5XG:** I’M GOING TO TEXT LAPIS NOW.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** Yes, do that. That’s a very good idea. She can protect you.

 **CourtLawyerZircon:** And I realize I said you should disregard my last messages but please be careful and don’t go anywhere alone.

“This Zircon is very… paranoid.”

“Oh, yeah, normally I’d say that’s just her, but… she kinda has a good reason now.”

“Steven, is there actually someone trying to kill me?”

“Well, uh…” Steven rubbed the back of his head. “Maybe. Probably? But don’t worry! We’re going to keep you safe.”

“ _Why_ is someone trying to kill me? Am I that big of a deal?”

“We’re not sure yet. And yeah, kind of? At least to us you are!” Steven grinned.

Peridot’s head spun. She was important. She was important enough to _try and kill._ She had to get her memories back _right now._

She went into her contacts to find Lapis, and hesitated.

“Steven, is it really appropriate for me to demand time of a Lapis Lazuli?”

“I promise that helping you get your memories back is the most important thing to her right now.”

Stars, why did everyone care so much?

 **PERI5XG:** LAPIS LAZULI

 **PERI5XG:** I AM SENDING YOU A “TEXT” USING THE SKILLS YOU TAUGHT ME

 **bob:** peri!!!

 **bob:** hi

 **bob:** did you remember anything

 **PERI5XG:** STEVEN BELIEVES I MAY HAVE INADVERTENTLY PREVENTED MYSELF FROM REMEMBERING BECAUSE I BELIEVED MY LOST MEMORIES WERE ENEMY BRAINWASHING

 **bob:** i really should have realized something like that was going on

 **bob:** because you’re peri 

**PERI5XG:** I WOULD LIKE TO REQUEST A “DO OVER” ON SPENDING TIME TOGETHER IN THE HOPES THAT I CAN RECREATE THE APPROPRIATE CONDITIONS

 **bob:** where are you

 **PERI5XG:** I AM SITTING ON A BENCH MADE OF HARD ORGANIC MATERIAL, NEAR A FOUNTAIN, NEXT TO STEVEN

 **PERI5XG:** DOES THAT MEAN YOU AGREE TO MY REQUEST

“Hey.” 

Peridot looked up to see that Lapis had touched down right in front of her. “Hello, my La -- Lapis. Lapis Lazuli. That was very prompt.”

“I actually had an idea for something we should do.” She held out her hand. “Wanna fly? It isn’t far.”

“Fly?” Peridot looked at Lapis’ outstretched hand in wonder. “Yes, I would very much like to fly.”

The words were barely out of her mouth before Lapis had scooped her up and lifted her into the air, water wings making soft noises as they soared above the town. “I can take you on a longer flight later, but right now there’s something I want to show you.”

“Okay,” said Peridot, both terrified and exhilarated by the sensation of wind rushing through her hair and nothing underneath her feet.

They landed on the edge of a small field filled with enormous yellow organics. Flowers, Lapis had called them back at the greenhouse. The moon was out now, and they swayed and rustled in the breeze coming from the ocean. The smell was similar to the greenhouse, but mixed with other scents that Peridot couldn’t identify.

Her focus fuzzed out into static. This was perfect.

“We planted these together,” said Lapis. “It was after Spinel -- I know you don’t remember that. Steven was going around healing the Earth from poison. You really wanted to plant some new life to replace what had died. So we came out here and grew these flowers.”

“I grew all of these organics?” Cultivating organic life, instead of destroying it in the most efficient way possible to make way for kindergartens and manufacturing hubs, was illegal. These flowers didn’t even seem to serve any purpose whatsoever.

“You used to tell me that growing organic life was a way to make up for the life you had destroyed when you worked on kindergartens.”

“What does _that_ mean?” Peridot made a face. “Kindergartens make life, they don’t destroy it.”

“They destroy _organic_ life. Here on Earth, it’s actually possible to create life without killing anything else. In fact, growing new things can actually help other life to emerge. You’re the one that taught me about that. Well, after seventy hours straight of internet research about farming.”

Lapis was smiling at Peridot fondly. Something inside of her fluttered. Her past self had done everything wrong, had violated everything about her programming, and yet she had somehow earned the companionship of so many Gems. 

She wanted to be that Gem again. She didn’t care if it got her into trouble. It had to be worth it.

Lapis took her hand and led her into the field of flowers, to a small clearing where the plants were less thick. Tiny winged organics flew lazily from bloom to bloom. Lapis laid down on the grass, her hair spreading around her head, and motioned for Peridot to join her. Peridot laid down next to her, almost close enough to touch, and looked up at the starry sky. She felt a sense of peace that she couldn’t explain.

“Do you remember?” Lapis said quietly. Peridot felt a hand grasp hers and didn’t dare to look down.

She closed her eyes and let the warm static engulf her. It was like a word that was just eluding her, that she just needed to remember…

_but how do you know you can trust her_

She just needed to let go, and then she could be the Gem everyone seems to care about so much.

_you’ll lose yourself_

This was her mission, the one Lapis had given her as soon as she had woken up.

_what would a lapis lazuli want with a peridot_

Then they could spend all the time together that she wanted.

_she’ll leave you_

Suddenly, panic gripped her chest. The pleasant static immediately dissolved into unbearable tension as she sat up, hyperventilating. 

“Peri?!” Lapis shouted. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

Lapis tried to pull her into a hug, but Peridot pushed her away before she could think about what she was doing.

“Peri!” Lapis was shocked.

“I’m sorry!” she said, backing away from Lapis. “I don’t know why I did that, I didn’t mean to--”

“It’s me.” Lapis’ eyes were wide with horror. “It’s me, I’m the reason you can’t remember. You don’t want to remember all the times that I’ve hurt you --”

“The times you’ve hurt me?” The ache in Peridot’s chest was unbearable.

“I can’t --” Lapis folded in on herself. “I can’t do this, Peri. I’m sorry, I know I need to help you, but I don’t know what I’m doing. I think I’m making it worse.”

A part of Peridot wanted to say or do something reassuring, but she was frozen to the spot, curled into a ball. She felt as though her entire being was made of static and fireworks and confusion. She didn’t know who she was or what she wanted. She was getting the impression that even _before_ the memory wipe, she didn’t know who she was or what she wanted.

Well, there was one thing. She wanted to be wanted, and that thought made her feel terrible. She wasn’t supposed to want that. She was supposed to be useful and do maintenance. Maybe, even if these other Gems weren’t evil, what they were doing was a mistake after all.

...what if she was unable to get back her memories and they gave up on her? 

Steven had told her he wouldn’t, but that didn’t extend to everyone. And surely even he would run out of patience at some point. If she couldn’t be the Gem they needed, why would they bother keeping her around? Why not just replace her?

Lapis was curled in with her head on her knees, unresponsive. 

“I… don’t… think you’re making it worse,” said Peridot, not entirely sure if she believed that.

Lapis shook her head. “You don’t know that. You _can’t_ know that. You don’t know me anymore.”

“I know that I want to know you. I mean… you brought me out here and you treated me nicely even though I stole a robot and ran away. You can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know if I can be what you need. And I can’t really talk to you about it, because you don’t remember.” Lapis looked away.

She looked so sad, and Peridot didn’t know what to say. She had to do _something._ There was really only one Gem she could potentially talk to for help. She hoped it was a good idea.

 **PERI5XG:** STEVEN I BROKE LAPIS

 **PERI5XG:** YOU HAVE TO HELP ME

 **Steven!:** You broke Lapis?! What happened?

 **PERI5XG:** I DON’T KNOW!!!

 **PERI5XG:** I THOUGHT I WAS ABOUT TO GET MY MEMORIES BACK BUT THEN I DIDN’T

 **PERI5XG:** AND I PUSHED HER AWAY AND NOW SHE’S UPSET AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 **PERI5XG:** PLEASE DON’T REPLACE ME

 **Steven!:** Peri, no one’s going to replace you no matter what

 **Steven!:** Lapis is just going through a lot right now

 **Steven!:** Would it help if I talked to her? Can you ask her?

“Lapis, Steven’s asking if it would help if he talked to you.”

Lapis nodded into her knees.

 **PERI5XG:** SHE SAYS YES I THINK

 **Steven!:** Okay, let me check on something, because we can’t leave you by yourself

Peridot waited impatiently for the thirty seconds it took Steven to respond.

 **Steven!:** Got it

 **Steven!:** Zircs wanted to talk to you, so are you okay with hanging out in her office for a while while I talk to Lapis?

 **PERI5XG:** THE ZIRCON?

 **PERI5XG:** DON’T YOU HAVE SOME MAINTENANCE TASK I COULD BE DOING

 **Steven!:** We can’t leave you alone

 **Steven!:** Also… maybe don’t say that to her? She’s not having a great day.

 **PERI5XG:** FINE. IF YOU REALLY THINK IT WOULD BE HELPFUL.

 **Steven!:** Okay, tell Lapis to drop you off at Zircs’ office and then meet me near the warp pad.

“Lapis?”

She barely looked up.

“Steven says you should drop me at the Zircon’s office, then meet him near the warp pad.”

“Okay. I can do that.” Before Peridot could even register her response, she was airborne in Lapis’ arms again, this time rising high above the town until they had reached one of the highest windows in the central tower. 

The window was open, and Zircon was inside the office, surrounded by holographic screens. “Oh, there you are!” she said, motioning them in. “Are you okay, Lapis? Steven made it sound urgent.”

Lapis set Peridot down on the floor. “I’ll see you later,” she said to Peridot, flying out the window.

Zircon closed the window and looked at Peridot, taking off her monocle and cleaning it on her sleeve. “I take it that could have gone better?”

Peridot collapsed onto the floor, groaning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Write Peridot getting rejuvenated," they said. "It'll be easy," they said.
> 
> Next time: What Zircs was up to all this time.
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me thus far.
> 
> Shout out to [Glowbug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowbug/pseuds/Glowbug) for being an awesome sounding board as I beat my head against the wall trying to figure out this chapter.


	11. It's Actually Possible for Zircon's Day to Get Worse

_ almost two years ago _

“Hi, Zircon!” said Steven, entering her office with a cheerful smile and wave. “How are you doing?”

“My Diamond! I mean -- Steven. Sorry.” Zircon quickly collapsed all of her screens, stood up and saluted. She certainly had never had a Diamond in her office before. She glanced at the messy pile of Earth brochures on one corner of her desk, hoping that it didn’t violate some regulation.

“Whoa, hey, you don’t need to salute or anything, remember?”

“Oh, yes, I --” She had read the new protocols many times, but reading them and actually putting them into practice were another story. She sat down, attempted to swallow her fear and put on a professional face. “What can I do for you, Steven?”

“Nothing,” he said. “It’s been a few days since you got to Earth, and Amethyst noticed you hadn’t been to the Decide Stuff for Yourself 101 Geminar.”

“Oh stars, were those mandatory?”

“No! We kind of figured that making the Decide Stuff for Yourself Geminar mandatory was defeating the purpose. I’m just here to make sure you’re doing okay!”

A performance evaluation, of course. Thankfully, Zircon had been expecting something like this. She pulled a screen from her monocle. “Yes, I’ve had enough time to review the outstanding cases involving residents of your colony and have put together my thoughts on each of them, with the exception of the one involving an Aquamarine -- that one may require a bit more fact-finding.”

“Zircon --”

“I’m also reviewing the proposed Era 3 reform code Q7PIAE, the one concerning allocation of resources to newly freed Pearls, and I had some concerns about some of the corner cases that I have taken the liberty of writing up and including as an appendix.”

“Hold on --”

“With your permission, I could incorporate those changes into the proposal itself, and --”

“Zircon! Stop!”

“Yes, Steven? Have I done something wrong?” She collapsed her screen, feeling her shoulders tighten with stress.

“No, no way! All of that sounds… great. But I’m not here to ask about your work, I’m here to ask about _you_. Are you okay?”

“Of course!” said Zircon, hoping Steven somehow wouldn’t notice the beads of sweat on her forehead. “Is this about my performance? I apologize if it’s taken some time for me to get up to speed on all of the cases. I’m still getting used to Era 3 protocol.”

“That’s still about work,” said Steven, looking as though he were trying to choose his words carefully. “I want to know how _you’re_ doing?”

“Fine,” she said, monocle briefly glitching out.

“You don’t seem fine. You… kind of seem like you’re about to have a nervous breakdown.”

“I most certainly am not!” After four thousand years, she was an _expert_ at delaying her nervous breakdowns until she was no longer standing before the Diamonds in court. 

Steven suddenly looked extremely determined, although she didn’t know why. “Don’t freak out,” he said, walking around the desk to where she was sitting.

“Steven, what--” Before she could finish her sentence, Zircon was enveloped in a warm hug.

A _Diamond_ was _hugging_ her.

“I… uh… !”

“Sorry if that’s not okay. You seem like you could use a hug.”

“It’s fine, Steven,” she said, and she was fairly sure she meant it. The experience of being hugged by a Diamond should be terrifying, but then none of the other Diamonds were half her height and somehow squishy. Were all humans this squishy? She wasn’t sure if the hug was actually comforting or just distracting, but she did feel marginally calmer.

“Look, Zircon, I know I gave you this job, but it’s not really the _job_ that’s important. The most important thing is that you’re happy!”

“Really?” said Zircon, skeptically.

Steven hoisted himself up to sit on her desk. “Yes! You’re on Earth now. You don’t have to work all day and night stressing out about everything. You should have fun! You should make friends. You don’t even have to be my lawyer if you don’t want to. You can do anything you like. No one’s going to punish you, or kick you out of your office, or anything like that. Promise.”

“That’s…” Zircon could barely comprehend what he was saying. Sure, she had read the Era 3 propaganda about Gems being allowed to do what they wanted, but she figured that applied to Gems who were now out of a job as a result of the sudden shift away from colonizing, not to Gems who were still perfectly useful. “Why would you invite me here to be your lawyer if I were just going to go off and do whatever I feel like?”

“Because when I got Blue Diamond to unbubble you and explain everything I thought you’d be happy to be free, but… you seemed really stressed and anxious still. I thought maybe this would help?” Steven looked at the floor sadly. “I guess it didn’t. Maybe this was a bad idea. Sorry, Zircon.”

“Are you genuinely concerned about whether or not I’m happy?”

“Well, yeah! We’re friends, right?”

“I… Steven, I appreciate that you consider me a friend, and I do enjoy the conversations we’ve had when you haven’t been on trial for war crimes, but we really don’t know anything about each other. I’m not entirely sure why you’re bothering, to be honest.”

“I figure we went through a near death experience together, so we’re basically friends now.” Steven said this as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Is that how it works?”

“I’ve met a surprising amount of friends that way. And you weren’t even trying to kill me!”

Zircon’s eye twitched. “Steven, if we’re friends, does that mean I’m allowed to be deeply concerned about you?”

He nodded, smiling. “Yeah, that’s kind of how I imagined this would work.” 

She had not come to Earth to make friends, she reminded herself. Steven was a Diamond, though, and he was being so kind to her for no apparent reason. 

“Well, all right, I suppose we are friends. I wouldn’t want to violate the law.”

“What law?”

“The one about near-death experiences, of course! I’m fairly certain I saw that somewhere in this endless stack of Era 3 resolutions.”

“Oh, yeah! It’s definitely in there.” Steven grinned. “Did you actually read all of that?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“See, I knew you’d be good at this! That’s why you should take the rest of the week off.”

Zircon raised an eyebrow. “Off of… what?”

“Off of work?”

“Are you serious?”

“Well, yeah!” Steven bounced happily as though _he_ were the one receiving the vacation. “You need some time to relax and get used to Earth! Maybe take some classes, or take a walk, or go down to Beach City… whatever you feel like! You should have someone teach you how to sleep, if you don’t know. You seem like you could use some sleep.”

“Classes? Sleep? Steven, I don’t know…”

“Oh, right, I was going to let you know there’s a party for new Gems tomorrow night. You should come and try talking to some Gems!”

Zircon looked doubtful. This was _exactly_ the kind of thing her co-workers had warned her about.

Her co-workers weren’t here, though. It was just Steven.

“I’ll consider it.”

* * *

“Excuse me?”

Zircon looked up.

“Not to bother you while you’re in the middle of a… whatever… but you’re kind of in front of my horticulture project.”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” said Zircon, removing herself from the stool where she had been gem-deep in a despair spiral.

She could have contradicted Lapis’ statements, stood up for herself. She could have pointed out that trying to tell anyone about Peridot’s ill-advised project would have ended poorly: with Peridot being furious at a promise broken and no less determined to go through with it anyway.

She didn’t say any of that, because deep down inside, she knew that the substance of what Lapis had said was true, if not the particulars. If she had been a better friend to Peridot when she had needed her, this might not have happened. It was more confirmation of the thing that she most feared: that her creation hadn’t even been worth the raw materials.

Her self-loathing was once again interrupted, this time by her phone buzzing.

 **BismuthTime:** hey zircs didnt see you at book club

 **BismuthTime:** everything ok

Zircon stared down at her phone. After everything that had happened in the last few cycles, an ordinary day where she went to book club seemed like something from a dream. She didn’t even know how to begin to respond to Bismuth.

 **BismuthTime:** so im also asking because i can see you wandering around the square in a daze

She looked up from her phone. At some point she had apparently left the greenhouse and started walking aimlessly, without even realizing it. Stars, she was going straight off the deep end --

“Hey, Zircs?”

Zircon screamed and jumped a mile, dropping her phone and stumbling into the grass. Bismuth was holding up her hands apologetically. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, sorry! Didn’t mean to startle you that bad.” She held out a hand to pull Zircon up, which she accepted. “You weren’t responding to my texts, and you seemed kind of…”

Zircon pushed at her already frazzled hair. “In the middle of a total breakdown?”

“Well, I’m glad you said it.” Bismuth put a friendly hand on Zircon’s back and began herding her gently towards the forge. “C’mon, let’s go talk about it.”

“There’s… there’s a _lot._ I mean a _lot_ , you have no idea how much, oh, stars, you probably don’t even know _half_ of what happened and it’s all my fault and I don’t know what I’m going to do and --”

“I know what you’re going to do,” said Bismuth. “You’re going to come with me, and you’re going to talk about it before you vibrate your gem apart with stress.”

Zircon nodded in agreement and allowed herself to be led away.

* * *

“Oh, _slag.”_ Bismuth was sitting on top of her anvil, wide-eyed. “You weren’t kidding when you said that there was a lot.”

Zircon, having finished her story, didn’t really feel any better. Instead, she mostly felt as though her gem had been hollowed out by a drill. She fought the urge to curl up in a tiny ball on the warm stone bench.

“So Peridot’s been rejuvenated.” Bismuth scowled at the floor. “Sabotage or not, I just _knew_ something like this was going to happen when Lapis told me about it. That technology should never have existed in the first place.” Her hands gripped the edge of the anvil tightly, as her eyes grew haunted. “They even tried using it on the battlefield. Did you know that? They’d send out some Citrine to hit as many rebels as she could and collect up their gemstones. Next thing you know, you’re fighting your old friends.”

“I didn’t know that, no. I can’t say I’m surprised. I _am_ quite aware of how Homeworld treated Gems that stepped out of line.”

She could feel her thousands of years of compartmentalization and suppression bubbling up unbidden. Losing your composure every time one of your clients was dragged off, begging and screaming, to be harvested or shattered, was a quick way to find yourself in the same situation. If you had your breakdowns infrequently and quietly in your office…

“Hey,” said Bismuth. “It’s not like that any more. Remember?”

“For now, it isn’t,” said Zircon. “If Elite Gems are making attempts on Peridot’s life and trying to sabotage Little Homeworld, I don’t know how much longer…”

Bismuth interrupted. “Did you really think it was gonna be that easy? The Diamonds make a proclamation and everything’s great? Now, look, Steven won us a victory that I thought I would _never_ see, and I owe him everything for that, but that doesn’t mean it’s over, not by a longshot. Even thousands of years from now, there’s going to be Gems who aren’t on board with what we stand for.”

“They’d be committing treason against the Diamonds.”

“Zircs.” Bismuth raised an eyebrow. “You, me, and most of our friends committed treason against the Diamonds.”

“Point taken. What can we possibly do, then…?”

Bismuth slid off her anvil and went to sit next to Zircon on the bench. “We’ll get her back.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Well, we got back the other Crystal Gems. I don’t see why this would be any different. Peridot’s gotta be one of the most resilient Gems I’ve ever met, and she’s surrounded by Gems that care about her. No way does this keep her down for long.”

“I hope you’re right. I really, really hope you’re right.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’m trying to convince myself too.” They sat in silence, thinking, for a few moments. “What I don’t understand is why you seem so convinced that this is somehow your fault.”

Zircon gripped her knees, bunching up her uniform. “Lapis was furious that I knew about Peridot’s plans to alter her own gem and didn’t tell anyone about them. If I had handled it better, this situation with the Rejuvenator would have never happened.” She blinked back tears. “She said I wasn’t a good friend to Peri, and I’m afraid she was right.”

“You know what your problem is, Zircs?” Bismuth clapped a friendly hand on her shoulder.

“Everything?”

“No, see, that’s _exactly_ the sort of thing I mean. It’s always so all-or-nothing. Either things are okay or a total catastrophe, nothing in between. Yeah, maybe you could have handled all of that better, but one mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend or a bad Gem. I think Lapis knows that, too. I’m sure she was just upset. An actual bad friend probably wouldn’t be beating themselves into dust over this.”

Zircon just stared at her hands.

“Peridot confided in you because she trusts you. If she were here right now, she’d trust you to be the one to figure out what’s happening with the ‘accidents.’”

“And yet, here I am, sitting in a useless heap. Apparently that trust was misplaced.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Bismuth smiled. “If you were investigating, what’s the first thing you’d be looking into?”

“A connection between the other Peridots and that Iris Agate that sued Peri, of course!” Zircon sat up as her wheels started to turn. “Failing that, I’d check to see if those Peridots have connections to other elites -- if they are behind this, it’s unlikely they’re acting alone. It could also very well be that the Agate has different accomplices than the obvious -- although the Gems in question would have to have considerable knowledge of Little Homeworld to pull this off -- but her known history of abuse against her subordinates makes her a prime suspect --”

Bismuth cut her off. “Sounds like you’ve got a great place to start!”

“It… would seem that I do, yes. But that doesn’t mean much. What if I can’t figure it out in time?”

“Then we deal with whatever happens. You know that fretting about figuring it out in time isn’t actually going to help you figure it out in time?”

“Right,” said Zircon, shakily. “I suppose I should at least try to work.”

“All anyone’s asking is that you try.” Bismuth’s phone buzzed. She pulled it out and checked her messages. “It’s Steven. He’s with Peridot and Lapis.”

“Is she actually rejuvenated...?”

“‘Fraid so.”

“Oh, stars,” said Zircon, returning to panic. “I don’t know what I’d even say to her when she’s like that. I don’t know --”

“Hey, hey, you were going to go start investigating, remember? You go do that, and I’ll check in on Peridot. One thing at a time. Okay?”

Zircon tried to compose herself as much as possible. “Okay.”

* * *

“Hey, Zircs.”

Zircon pushed aside some of her screens as Steven entered her office. “Steven! Hello. I thought you were with Peridot...?”

“Peri’s in good hands right now. She’s with Lapis and Bis building a giant robot.” 

“That’s… good? I don’t suppose she’s remembered anything.”

Steven shook his head. “Not so far, no. She seems really wary, like she’s not sure she can trust us.”

“I can’t say I blame her, Steven. If I woke up on a strange planet without my memories, I wouldn’t feel like I could trust anyone either.”

“I think we can get through to her, though! She just needs to get used to us again and see that we’re her friends.” Steven smiled, but his eyes were sad. “She may have lost her memories, but she’s still Peridot, right? Even back when she kidnapped me, I could basically tell that she just needed a friend. As long as she’s surrounded by people who care about her, I think she’ll be okay.”

Zircon nodded. She couldn’t help but imagine what Peridot was going through. Zircon had found Earth difficult enough to adjust to, and she was there by choice. 

For one moment, she couldn’t stop herself from picturing what would have been if _she_ had gotten caught in the Rejuvenator blast -- wary, confused, untrusting, paranoid. How would they get her back? Would they even bother?

“Anyway, Peri’s fine for now, so I came to see how you were holding up.”

Zircon was startled out of her thoughts. “Oh, yes, well, I’ve certainly made some progress. It wasn’t difficult at all to find a link between Dottie, 2PK, and the Iris Agate who sued Peridot -- they _worked_ for her in their last colony assignment. I can’t believe I didn’t notice it when I was researching the Agate for the trial, but I wasn’t really looking at individual Peridot designations.”

“Zircs, you’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“I ask you how you’re doing and you tell me about your work instead. How are _you_ holding up?”

Zircon sighed. “About as well as I could be, given the circumstances. Well enough to look into a few things, which is what’s important.”

“Not really,” said Steven. “At least, that’s not the _only_ thing that’s important. I mean, last time I saw you you had nearly been shattered, and since then your best friend lost her memories. You know you’re allowed to have feelings about that, right?”

“That’s a nice sentiment in theory, but if I start processing all of that I’m going to have another nervous breakdown, and now is absolutely not the time. I _have_ to do this, I can’t just sit here useless -- Steven, what are you doing…?”

“Don’t freak out.” Steven stood up and walked behind her desk, pulling her into a hug.

“No, Steven, _don’t,”_ said Zircon, tearing up. “I have to keep it together.”

“You’re _not_ useless, Zircs. Even if you can’t keep it together.” 

Zircon couldn’t stop herself from sobbing against Steven’s shoulder. “You and Peri were the first Gems who ever treated me like I was worth something. If I can’t do this for her, why am I even here?”

“You’re here because this is your home too, now,” said Steven. “You know that you’re not going to get punished, or bubbled, or shattered just because you’re having a hard time, right?”

“I know. I helped write those reforms.”

“Yeah, but do you believe it?”

“It’s hard sometimes,” she admitted. “I keep waiting for everything to come collapsing down again. I know I can’t go back to how things were. I just -- I don’t know what I’m _doing,_ Steven -- are you crying?”

“I don’t know what I’m doing, either.” Steven’s voice was choked up. “All the Crystal Gems, everyone in Little Homeworld… if Era 3 doesn’t work out, if I can’t keep the peace with the Diamonds… they’re all counting on me, and I’m just sixteen, and I don’t know how to do _any_ of this.”

It took a moment for this to sink in. Zircon had been used to thinking of Steven as a Diamond, albeit a very unusual one -- and thousands of years of Homeworld conditioning had drilled into her that the Diamonds were all-powerful and infallible.

Except they clearly weren’t, were they? They hadn’t uncovered the truth about Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz. They had ordered the extermination of intelligent and worthwhile creatures. The society they had created resulted in Gems condemned to death for the crimes of being unable to do their jobs, or being so lonely that they clung to forbidden relationships even in the face of capital punishment. The Diamonds had never been perfect.

And Steven was so young -- barely out of kindergarten, really, and with so much responsibility riding on his shoulders, in a situation new to Gemkind. Of course he didn’t know what he was doing. How could he possibly know?

“I’m sorry, Steven,” she said. “That’s far too much pressure for anyone.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“You told me I’m allowed to have feelings about it. Doesn’t that apply equally to you?”

Steven shrugged. “I’m not always good at taking my own advice.” He sat on the edge of Zircon’s desk and looked down at the floor.

“You know, Steven, if it helps… it isn’t _just_ you who has responsibility for Era 3 and Little Homeworld. I think if some elite Gems are coming for Little Homeworld, they’re going to have to get through a truly impressive amount of smart, powerful, determined Gems to do so. And I guess they’ll have to get through me, too, for whatever that’s worth, since Lapis already correctly pointed out that I’m never going to actually leave.”

“Thanks.” He smiled. “So does that mean you’re gonna learn how to fight?”

“Oh, stars, if that isn’t the worst idea I’ve heard today!” Zircon laughed. “I don’t even have a weapon, you know. For good reason!”

“Are you sure? Have you tried? Maybe one day you’re gonna surprise us all and pull, like, a giant book from your gem and use it to beat up the saboteurs.”

“Steven, that is _ridiculous._ And don’t you dare say something like that in front of Peri. She’ll be making me some kind of weaponized book that will probably explo…”

“Zircs? Hey, Zircs?”

Zircon felt strangely dizzy and disoriented. “I’m sorry, Steven, what were we talking about?”

“You don’t -- don’t worry about it. Weren’t you going to tell me about the stuff you found out investigating?”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Zircon tried to shake the cobwebs from her mind. “Were you aware that less than a week ago, Peri was sued by an Iris Agate on charges of emotional distress?”

“No, no one told me.”

“I defended her in court, of course, and we won. The charges were frivolous in the first place. When I was researching the Agate in question, I found that she had a very poor track record. In particular, an unusually high number of lower Gems, especially Rubies and Peridots, had gone missing or had been shattered under her watch. Furthermore, she used to hold a considerable position of power as the primary manager of a large Kindergarten. Judging by her attitude in the courtroom, she does not seem like the kind of Gem who would take a loss of power lightly.”

“So… if she has something against lower Gems, and is furious that her position was taken away, you think she decided to take it out on Peridot?”

“Possibly, yes. A Gem like that certainly would not be pleased to see a Peridot wielding considerable power. However, if that were all that connected her to the sabotage, it’d be pure speculation.” She pulled up one of her screens. “2PK and Dottie, the other Peridots here in Little Homeworld, worked for this same Agate for thousands of years. For Dottie in particular, it was her only assignment before arriving on Earth. Here’s where it gets interesting: she emerged from her kindergarten with a major flaw, and proved unable to do most of the work expected of a Peridot. She was, of course, sentenced to shattering.”

“They would shatter her for that?! I mean -- I know that’s how it used to be.”

“That’s what makes it interesting. The Agate specifically requested that this Peridot be spared. Why would this Agate, who has a history of low tolerance for lower Gems, want to keep around a defective Peridot? My theory is that she wanted a subordinate who had no choice but to be unquestionably loyal to her, one who had nothing to lose by carrying out even unlawful orders.”

“I could see that,” said Steven. “What about 2PK?”

“It’s less clear, but she _does_ have a history of minor subordination that would have likely landed her in trouble eventually.” Zircon rearranged her screens. “None of this is hard evidence, of course, but the two Peridots had the means to carry out the sabotage, and this links them with a possible motive. If true, it also clears up a few things that had been bothering me.”

“Like what?”

“The prosecutor enlisted by the Agate does not have a history of taking on lost causes, which this case most certainly was. Furthermore, this drew attention to the Agate, which doesn’t make sense if she were attempting sabotage. So why do it?” 

She stood up and began to pace the floor. “I’m not a technical expert -- unfortunately, my usual technical expert is currently _unavailable_ \-- but I would assume that sabotaging the Rejuvenator would take a non-trivial amount of time. In order to ensure that they don’t get caught, the saboteur would need to make absolutely certain that neither Peri nor Lapis is in the lair. Unfortunately for them, Peri’s schedule is erratic. The only classes she teaches are in the greenhouse -- in other words, right at the entrance to the lair.”

“Putting Peridot on trial would give the saboteur several guaranteed uninterrupted hours in the lair,” she continued. “When I pulled up the schedules, I found that the trial happened to overlap with one of Lapis’ longer art classes.”

“So you think the Agate sued Peridot just to get a chance at breaking into her lair?”

“Potentially. I’ve certainly seen stranger plots than that.”

“I’m guessing that since they’re Gems you can’t just, like... fingerprint the Rejuvenator?”

“Fingerprint?” Zircon looked confused. “They talk about that on _Special Vampire Unit_ and I don’t really understand what it is.”

“Oh, humans have these unique marks on their fingers. If we touch something, the marks rub off, and then detectives can tell who touched it last.”

“Steven, are you _serious?_ That would be _incredibly_ helpful. How do human crimes ever go unsolved?” Some movement in the square outside her window caught her eye. “Um, Steven? You said Peri was building a giant robot with Bis and Lapis, right?”

“Yeah, why?” He came to the window to see a pink mech running full speed towards the warp pad. “Oh, no. Open the window, quick!”

Zircon hit the button and Steven leapt out, slowing his fall and throwing up a hexagonal wall in front of the mech. “Well, I guess the robot building plan didn’t quite work out,” she said to herself.

* * *

Knowing, intellectually, that Peridot had lost all of her memories was one thing. Actually being confronted with her friend ranting about cults and brainwashing was quite another thing, one Zircon wasn’t entirely prepared for. As a result, she had stuck her foot into her mouth, _again._

When Steven finally got her calmed down and took her aside to talk, she figured that was her cue to return to her office and her investigation.

“Hey, Zircs?”

Zircon turned, with some dread. Lapis still looked upset. She really would prefer not to be yelled at again. “What is it, Lapis?”

Lapis crossed her arms and looked at the ground. “Look, Zircs, I don’t want us to not be on speaking terms when Peridot gets her memories back. She wouldn’t want that.”

Zircon felt a twinge of hope. “Yes, she would probably call us both clods.”

“Right. So… I’m sorry. I still don’t really agree with what you did, but I know you didn’t mean for things to turn out this way. I shouldn’t have said those things. I was just so...”

“I know. It was… It’s been a day, that’s for sure.” Zircon fidgeted nervously. “I’m sorry, too. I really do feel like I could have handled this better. But I also appreciate your apology. Thanks.”

“Yeah. It’s the least I could do.”

They stood there awkwardly for a few moments.

“You want to talk to Peri, later?” asked Lapis. “She hasn’t really talked to you yet. It might be helpful.”

“I’d like that, yes.” Zircon looked in the direction where Steven and Peridot had walked off. “Hopefully Steven can start to get through to her.”

“If anyone can, I’m sure he can. Better than me, anyway.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” said Zircon. “I think Peri really needs you now.”

“It’s just really hard -- to have her look at me like I’m a stranger. You know? She’s standing right there and I still miss her.”

Zircon didn’t know what to say. Reassurance very much was not her strong point. “I hope we can get her back,” she said, simply.

“Yeah, me too.”

* * *

“I take it that could have gone better?”

Peridot, freshly dropped off by Lapis, collapsed into a sad heap.

“So… do you want to… talk about it…?”

Peridot glared. “Why would I discuss my personal problems with _you?”_

Zircon couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh stars, I really should be recording this.”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” The gears turned in Zircon’s head as she pondered the best strategy to approach the dissatisfied-looking Gem on her floor. “So if you don’t want to talk about that, is there anything else I could help you with? Maybe just make an attempt to cheer you up some?”

Peridot was sizing her up. “I’m assuming that we knew each other?”

“Yes, certainly. By your tone it seems you still don’t remember me at all, though.”

“No, not exactly…” said Peridot. She was deep in thought. “I just keep feeling like there’s something I’m supposed to do, or say. Something important, and I can’t figure out what it is.” She groaned, clutching her forehead. 

“Well, don’t beat yourself up over it! I’m sure it’ll come to you eventually.”

“Ugh, that’s basically what Steven said. He doesn’t understand how this feels. I can’t take it anymore.” She looked at Zircon, a metaphorical light bulb appearing over her head. “Wait -- you said you knew me, and you offered to help. Do you know anything I was supposed to do? In fact, I almost feel like there was something involving you specifically.”

“Me specifically? Off of the top of my head, I can’t think of any obligations you had towards me. I suppose we were going to finish up that video game together. That’s probably not it.”

Peridot crossed her arms and looked away. “I don’t even know what a video game is. And no, I don’t think so.”

Zircon was still thinking about whether there was anything Peridot might have needed to do or say. 

The anxious knot in her chest got significantly tighter as she realized that the last time she had seen Peridot, pre-memory-wipe, was on the roof where she had almost been shattered. Peridot had flown off to disable her Robonoids. Lapis had come to her office to convince her to talk to Peridot. Could it be…?

“Peri, what if it wasn’t something you were supposed to say to me, but something I was supposed to say to you?”

Peridot looked up, interested.

“I’m not sure how much meaning this is going to have, since you don’t remember any of this, but what happened on the roof was not your fault. We know for sure now that it was sabotage. And even if it hadn’t been sabotage, I was going to tell you that it was an accident and that I didn’t blame you for it.”

Peridot’s eyes were wide, her expression unreadable.

“Anyway, I forgive you. I was never even mad at you. And I hoped that you could forgive me for considering running away.” 

“I… that’s…” Conflicting emotions played across Peridot’s face. 

“Did that help? Do you feel any better?”

“...Yes. But no!” Peridot dug her hands into her hair in distress. “I feel _relieved_ even though I don’t even remember what any of that is about. Do you know how weird that is?!”

“Yes, I can see how that would be confusing,” said Zircon.

“It doesn’t make any sense! Why don’t I remember?” She finally picked herself up from the floor and started pacing. “How do I keep getting so close and then failing? And why was _that_ so simple when what happened with Lapis was…”

“Complicated?” Zircon leaned back in her chair, twirling a fountain pen in her fingers. Human writing implements were impractical for their intended purpose of recording information, but looked nice on her desk and gave her something to fiddle with. “I’m going to make an educated guess that it’s because your feelings for Lapis are actually complicated. Or at least that’s what you keep telling me, because you don’t want to admit you’re in love with her.”

Zircon hadn’t even finished the sentence before Peridot stopped pacing and gripped the arms of her chair. “What did you say?”

“You’re in love with her,” said Zircon, matter-of-factly, trying not to be too amused. “You love Lapis. You have for years. Everybody knows about it except for her. Honestly, I’m quite pleased that I was the one afforded the opportunity to break this news to you.”

“No! No no no!” Peridot shook her head furiously. “You’re lying! You’re making stuff up to mess with me because I have amnesia.”

“While that _does_ sound like it might be entertaining, I assure you that I’m not. In fact, you don’t even have to believe me. If you have a better explanation of the obviously intense emotions you feel for Lapis, I’m open to hearing it.”

“I -- well!” Peridot was clearly flustered. “She’s my supervisor, of course!”

“Interesting. So do all Peridots daydream about cuddling their supervisors?”

Peridot turned bright blue. “I don’t -- ! What are you saying? I never!” Then, quieter: “How in the stars did you _know?”_

“What, did you not believe me when I said that I know you? Honestly, at this point you don’t even really need to get your memories back. You’re in my office trying to figure out your relationship with Lapis so you’re more or less back to normal.” 

Zircon’s smile faded when she saw Peridot grow quiet and sad.

“Why would I have made such a miscalculation?”

“What do you mean?”

“A Peridot in love with a Lapis Lazuli? Why would an elite ever take interest in a technician? Why would I have allowed myself to harbor such obviously unproductive emotions?”

“I think many would argue that emotions aren’t exactly meant to be productive or not. They just _are._ And here on Earth, distinctions like _elite_ don’t really matter much. For what it’s worth, I don’t think the emotions you feel are unfounded at all.”

“She was just trying to help me, and I panicked and pushed her away.” Peridot looked like she was about to cry. “Zircon, did she… did she ever leave me?”

Zircon suddenly realized what must have happened. “Oh stars, you remembered _that?”_

“I’m not sure. That’s just what it felt like. Like she was going to leave me.”

“Yes, she did leave,” said Zircon.

“Because of me?” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“This is a conversation you should really be having with her, because I wasn’t there, but no, I don’t think it was because of you at all. In fact, I’m pretty sure you’re the main reason she came back.” Zircon was choosing her words carefully, nervous that she might ruin a critically important revelation for Peridot. “I’m going to be honest with you. You’ve been through a lot. Not all of your lost memories are good ones. I think, on the whole, there’s more good than bad. I think you would definitely want all of them back, if you could choose. And I think that even if you’ve had some rough patches with Lapis in the past, she truly does care about you.”

“No, she doesn’t!” Peridot was angry now, tears flowing freely. “She doesn’t care about _me._ She cares about the Gem I used to be. She’s only bothering with _me_ because she thinks she can get my memories back.” She directed an accusing glare at Zircon. “You’re the same way! You wouldn’t even be talking to me if it weren’t for _her._ All of you just want me to stop existing so you can get her back! I’m just in the way. And if I can’t get my memories back…” Her fury collapsed into sadness. “If I can’t get my memories back, you’re all going to leave me.”

“We have been acting like that, haven’t we? I’m sorry, Peri.” She looked down at her hands, fidgeting with her pen. “For what it’s worth, I’d be honored to have you as my friend -- and I mean you as you are right now. You don’t remember, but you helped me adjust to Earth. I don’t see why I shouldn’t return the favor.”

Peridot brushed at her tears. “Do you really mean that?”

“Absolutely! It’s a promise. And I do try to keep my promises.”

“Wow, thanks.” She managed a smile for about three seconds before dropping into gloom again. “But Lapis -- even if what you said is true, which I am _not_ convinced by --”

“I frankly don’t expect you to be.”

“I really hurt her when I pushed her away. I didn’t mean to! I was just scared, and… do you think she’ll give me another chance?”

“I most certainly do. And if she doesn’t, I’ll glare at her disapprovingly for you.”

“Is that all?” said Peridot, a little more cheerfully.

“There isn’t a lot a Zircon can do against a Lapis Lazuli, you know! She could pick me up and toss me into the middle of the ocean in an instant if she felt like it. Think of how far behind on my work I’d be if I had to walk the ocean floor all the way back to Little Homeworld!”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. “ _That’s_ the part you’d be worried about?”

Zircon nodded emphatically.

“Do they really work you that hard in this colony?”

“Oh, not at all. I’m afraid that’s just me.”

“Huh.” Peridot turned pensive again. “I don’t know what to say to her.”

“Not that you should take my advice, but at least consider just being honest with her. I think she might understand.”

“Emotional honesty?” She perked up and hit her fist into her hand. “Brilliant! I’ll try it!”

Zircon had a bad feeling about this. Before she could respond, Peridot’s phone started to buzz. She pulled it out and nearly dropped it in surprise.

“Aaaaah! It’s the unknown number! What should I do?!”

“What’s she saying?” If Zircon’s theory was correct, that unknown number was likely to be Dottie or 2PK -- or perhaps some other accomplice.

“She’s asking where I am.”

“Well, for stars’ sake, don’t tell her!” Zircon was suddenly very aware that if someone actually tried to make an attempt on Peridot’s life while they were in the office, she would offer approximately as much protection as a sheet of paper. She hoped Lapis was close by.

“What should I say, then? Here, you do it!” She shoved the phone at Zircon.

“Me? I don’t know what to say either!” Zircon pushed the phone back.

“I have amnesia! You’re the one who knows what they’re doing!”

“Peri, I’m _never_ the one who knows what they’re doing!”

“Ugh. Fine. I’ll just tell her I don’t know where I am.” Peridot typed into her phone, drumming her fingers on her knees while waiting for a response. “She’s asking if I can get away and meet her somewhere alone.”

Zircon gripped her chair arms in panic. “That’s terrifying. What could she have in mind?”

“I’m telling her I can’t.” Typing. Waiting. Peridot’s face suddenly dropped. “Oh stars, I think I made a mistake.”

“Why, what’s she saying?”

“She’s talking about how you guys obviously got to me. She says Lapis is using me and is going to abandon me.” Peridot was tearing up again. “Why would she be saying that…?”

“That’s _not true,_ Peri.”

“Okay.” Peridot didn’t look entirely convinced.

Zircon inwardly cursed the saboteurs for getting under Peridot’s skin again, right when she seemed to be starting to feel better. “I should tell Steven what happened. Is that okay?”

Peridot nodded.

Zircon started typing a message to Steven, but before she could finish, a knock on her window nearly made her drop her phone in surprise. The surprise was quickly followed by relief when she saw it was Lapis. 

“Hey,” said Lapis, flying through the window as Zircon opened it. 

“Hey,” said Peridot, looking completely floored by Lapis’ sudden appearance.

“Are you… feeling any better?”

“I think so?” said Peridot. “Lapis, listen, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to --”

“Peridot,” said Lapis, cutting her off. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. I talked to Steven, and he thinks I may have been putting too much pressure on you to get your memories back. I just miss you. A lot. But that’s not really fair.” She stepped closer to Peridot. “I want to take you flying. Not to help you regain your memories or anything like that. Just to spend time with you. I can show you some of the places I like to fly. Does that sound okay?”

“Just to spend time with me?” Peridot repeated, practically dazzled by Lapis’ offer.

“Yeah. No pressure. Just the two of us. What do you say?”

“Yes!” All traces of Peridot’s previous malaise dissipated as she allowed Lapis to scoop her up onto her back.

“Lapis, I hate to interrupt, but before you go…” said Zircon. “The saboteur texted Peridot again. She’s trying to get her alone. You two be careful, please.”

Lapis nodded. “We will. No one’s going to hurt Peri when I’m around.” She turned back one more time before flying out. “Oh, good luck with your investigation, Zircs.”

“Thanks. You have fun!”

“Bye, Zircs!” Peridot waved cheerfully. Zircon watched them fly off.

Peridot was starting to seem a lot more like herself. She had even used her nickname. Zircon felt as if she could allow herself at least a small moment of hope.

* * *

Zircon stood up from her desk and started pacing around the office. It had been some time since Peridot had flown off with Lapis, and she hoped the fact that her phone was silent was a good sign. Peridot really had seemed close to restoring her memories, and that, at least, would be one significant helping of stress lifted off of her shoulders.

In the meantime, though, she was working up a massive tension headache trying to figure out what, exactly, the saboteurs were attempting to accomplish.

So far, it seemed like they had gone great lengths to take revenge on Peridot, specifically. There didn’t seem to be any kind of personal connection between Peridot and any of the Gems who were likely involved. This made it likely that the motive was rage and bitterness over the Era 3 reforms, which Peridot more or less symbolized. However, if their motive was a dislike of Era 3, why not go after other prominent Gems in Little Homeworld? Why not make other attacks on the infrastructure? 

On the other hand, if the target was Peridot and Peridot alone, then the Rejuvenator attack seemed a little off. Why didn’t the perpetrator plant a conventional explosive in the lair, one far more likely to actually shatter her? Instead, they had chosen the Rejuvenator -- an attack that was known to be unpredictable and wear off, and one which seemed designed to torment Peridot’s friends as much as Peridot herself. Furthermore, the timing suggested that they had waited specifically until Lapis was out to activate their trap. It didn’t make sense -- whether they had a grudge against Peridot specifically or Era 3 in general, there seemed to be no reason to avoid harming Lapis like that.

And why were they trying to get a newly Rejuvenated Peridot alone? Were they hoping she would help in the sabotage? 

She took off her monocle and rubbed at her forehead, hoping to stave off the headache.

It _was_ rather surprising that this saboteur hadn’t targeted any of Peridot’s friends. Lapis was somewhat understandable, as she did not have a prominent role in Little Homeworld and also happened to be one of the most dangerous Gems outside of a Diamond. Bismuth might present a target, considering she was the Chief Builder, but then again, she was also extremely intimidating. The other Crystal Gems were also well-known to be formidable in combat.

If the saboteur were to go after any of Peridot’s friends, the least risky choice would be the one least likely to defend themselves.

Oh, _stars._

Zircon picked up her phone, but her hands were shaking so badly that she fumbled it onto the floor. Her intent was to text Bismuth. She might think Zircon was being a bit silly or paranoid, but she would surely allow her to temporarily work from the forge for safety’s sake.

Just as Zircon reached for her phone, her office door flew open with a loud crash. Zircon screamed and stumbled backwards.

“Dottie! What are you doing here?” This was most certainly _not_ the way Zircon wanted her theories about the saboteur to be proven correct.

“Looks like you’re having some trouble with your phone.” Dottie stepped into the office, crushing Zircon’s phone underneath one of her limb enhancers.

“Dottie, don’t do this. _Please_ don’t do this.” Zircon backed into her window, her back hitting the glass. The reasonably well insulated office walls ensured that it was unlikely that anyone would hear her cry for help. She had no weapons, naturally produced or otherwise. She could, perhaps, hit the button to open her window and jump, but from this height that was nearly certain to shatter her.

Shattering might actually be preferable to what could potentially be in store for her.

“You don’t even know what I’m going to do yet. Why are you looking out the window? Are you _actually_ considering jumping? Sorry, but no.” Dottie caught Zircon in a tractor beam from her hand, pulling her away from the window and depositing her in front of her desk.

“There’s no reason for you to be doing this!” Zircon tried to use her desk to stand up, only to be grabbed and tossed to the floor again. “I saw your history. I know why you follow that Agate. It doesn’t have to be that way. We can help you! You don’t have to be abused by her any more! Steven can --”

“Steven! Of course you’d bring up your precious Steven. He’s going to fix everything, isn’t he?” Dottie set one heavy foot on Zircon’s midsection, pinning her to the floor and preventing her from rising again. “Steven is a fraud. He takes flawed, damaged Gems like you and tries to convince them that they’re good no matter what, that they don’t need to actually be useful. I think we both know what a lie that is.”

“It’s not…” said Zircon, faltering.

“My Agate is different. She makes flawed Gems earn their continued existence every day. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Zircon struggled to remove Dottie’s foot, but couldn’t budge it even slightly. So much for not being useless. 

“That’s why you don’t have to worry. We’re not shatterers. We’re just going to bubble you for a while. Once we’ve restored order, you’ll get a chance to beg for your job back. That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?”

Zircon’s mind seized up in pure terror. If Dottie bubbled her, that was _it._ Kidnapped Gem cases were almost never solved. A bubbled Gem could be hidden anywhere, even jettisoned into space if the kidnapper were feeling particularly thorough or vindictive. Even if the Crystal Gems stopped the plot against Little Homeworld, even if they figured out what happened to her, it could easily be too late.

She was never going to see her friends or the Earth again.

“What, are you crying? You’re pathetic.” Dottie pushed her foot down harder, and Zircon could feel her form beginning to destabilize. “If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother to try to get your job back. You’d probably be happier if we harvested you into something useful. Less stress, you know?”

Zircon struggled and kicked, but her complete lack of strength was no match against Dottie’s limb enhancers. “ _Please,_ please don’t do this. We can help you, I swear --”

Dottie scowled in anger, charging her blaster and pointing it right at Zircon’s head. “You’re a deluded sack of dirt, you know that? I’m starting to feel like I’m doing you a favor by giving you a break from your misery. Any last words?”

She didn’t trust herself to say anything without it coming out as an incoherent sob, and she didn’t want to give Dottie the satisfaction. Instead, Zircon looked over at her shelves filled with books and Earth novelties one last time. She had to make sure it was burned into her brain before she --

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this installment of Panic and Exposition ft Blue Zircon.


	12. Peridot Has Way Too Many Feelings All at Once

The view of the ocean from high in the air was absolutely breathtaking, and Peridot could not focus on it at all. Instead, her gaze kept returning involuntarily to the brilliant blue gem directly in front of her.

Lapis was indeed a perfect cut, and the way the sunlight reflected off of the surface of her gemstone was captivating. Truly, she was putting a significant amount of trust in Peridot to allow her to be so close to her vulnerable gemstone in the first place. Not only that, but she was allowing this even after Peridot had accused her of being part of a brainwashing cult and then pushed her away.

It made her feel…

...complicated.

Was this _actually_ love, this feeling like the core of her being was caught in a rock tumbler? How could she tell? She definitely wasn’t programmed with any information about love. 

Zircon certainly seemed confident about that fact. More confident than she seemed about anything else, really. A part of Peridot wanted to dismiss that, but the rising static of memories trying to surface indicated otherwise. She couldn’t grasp anything concrete, but there was something incredibly familiar about the whole situation. 

The cool ocean breeze ruffled her hair, and Lapis’ wings made a gentle noise as they cut through the air. If nothing else, she could certainly understand why she would have fallen in love with this Lapis Lazuli. She wasn’t entirely sure if what she was feeling was buried memories, or just her natural response to the situation.

If only she could get her memories back, then she would surely know how she should feel about Lapis.

They had reached land now, sailing over a beach, and then over dunes and small human settlements, and finally into mountains. Here, the large stationary organics weren’t bright green as they were back in the colony, but brilliant shades of orange, red, and yellow. Peridot’s eyes grew wide.

“What do you think?” asked Lapis, the first words she had said since they had taken off.

“It’s beautiful,” said Peridot, the words coming out before anything in her head could warn her that she shouldn’t find organics beautiful.

“I thought you would like it. The trees have actually faded a bit since the past week or so, but it’s still nice.”

Lapis began to angle downwards, and before Peridot could become too alarmed, they were slipping through the organics -- trees, apparently -- into a small, peaceful clearing, touching down next to a swiftly moving river. The ground was covered in a thick layer of brown detritus that crunched as they landed. The only sounds were the moving water and the occasional cry of an unseen Earth creature.

Peridot was filled with a longing she didn’t understand. “Have I been here before?”

“No.” Lapis shook her head. “This isn’t about trying to get your memories back, remember? I just thought you’d like this.”

There was that rock tumbler feeling again. Peridot, not knowing what to say, just nodded as Lapis led her over to one of the larger flat rocks and sat down, motioning for Peridot to sit next to her.

“We should probably talk,” said Lapis.

“Yeah.”

They sat there for several moments, not talking. Questions swirled around in Peridot’s head, and she hoped that Lapis was going to say something before one of them -- probably the least appropriate one -- burst forth.

Unfortunately, she was not that lucky.

“Did you… leave? Before?”

Lapis looked away. “I knew that was what you saw.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I pushed you away -- I was scared and I didn’t know --”

“It’s okay, Peri. You deserve to know.” Her eyes darted, searching for the words. “I did. I left you and took our entire home into space.”

“Why?”

“Because I was scared of being attacked. Or at least that’s what I told myself. But really, I was more scared of having something good.”

Peridot tried to understand. “Why would you be scared of something good?”

“Because it hurts more when it’s taken away from you.” 

“I think I get it,” said Peridot, slowly. “Back at the colony, everyone was being so nice to me, and acting like I was their friend. I practically begged Steven to let me go, to take me to a kindergarten to work. Things would be… easier.”

Lapis looked at her curiously. “Do you still want to go?”

“No. I understand that I’m being irrational, but this is where I want to be.” 

Lapis nodded. “That’s exactly why I ended up coming back.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I talked to Steven. After we…”

“Yeah?”

“He thought that the reason why you remembered me leaving was because I made you scared I was going to leave again, if you didn’t get back your memories.”

Peridot looked away. “I was. I am.”

“Look, Peri,” she said, with sudden, tearful intensity. “You don’t remember this, but I understand better than just about anyone why you would want to wipe away all your bad memories and start clean. If that’s what you want, then I’m not going to stop you. I’m not going to leave, either, unless you want me to. I want you to know that I’m going to be here for you no matter what. Promise.”

Peridot felt like the core of her gem was tightening. “Why would you make a promise like that? Without my memories, I’m just some random Peridot.”

“No, you aren’t. You never were. I think -- I think that I might have made you feel like that, even when you had your memories. I discouraged you from your projects. I avoided getting too close because I was so afraid of hurting you. I didn’t tell you all the things I should have told you when I had the chance. If I had said the things I should’ve, you would’ve known for sure how much I care, instead of being constantly afraid I was going to reject you.”

“Lapis --”

“Like I should have told you about how your face lights up the whole room when you get a new idea. And how I really admire how hard you work and how you always try to be there for everyone. Really, how you just _try_ all the time and don’t give up. And how you’re always so optimistic even when I can’t really understand why. And how much I just want to protect you from everything that could hurt you. I should have told you that when you curl up next to me to take a nap, it makes me feel like… like if a Gem like you trusts me that much, maybe I’m not so bad.”

Peridot’s eyes were enormous and watery. “That’s…”

“But you know what I really, really should have told you? I should have told you how I really felt about you. Then maybe you wouldn’t have felt like you needed to experiment on your own Gem because you thought you might not be good enough.” She paused, clearly trying to summon her courage. “I love you, Peridot. That’s what I should have told you.”

If her emotions had felt like a rock tumbler earlier, now they were more like someone had attached the rock tumbler to a centrifuge and thrown the entire apparatus off a cliff. She opened and closed her mouth to try and think of what to say. And why did her gem feel so _warm_ all of a sudden…?

...and why did this remind her so much of…

...being trapped thousands of miles below the Earth, Steven using his last words to try to comfort her…

...Lapis slapping away the ship sent from Homeworld and asking if she was okay…

...the barn, stargazing, TV, meep morps, farming, Pumpkin, a wedding, Little Homeworld, the lair, the greenhouse…

...being crammed on the couch with all her friends, laughing and talking and watching some stupid movie…

...the feeling that she was accepted, that she belonged, that she was safe and cared for…

The feeling that she was loved. The feeling that she was capable of loving in return. The feeling of finally coming home. 

She was enveloped in warmth and light, as though she were regenerating, and the second her form floated back to the ground, she was scooped into Lapis’ arms.

“Peri!” she cried, equally happy and desperate. “Was that it? Are you really back?”

“Yes --” said Peridot, barely able to produce the word, her voice choked with sobs. “I missed you, Lapis!” She hugged Lapis with such ferocity that they both tumbled off of the rock and into the leaves piled next to the riverbank. “Did you really mean… all of that?”

“Yes.” Lapis nodded, eyes filled with happy tears. “Of course I did. I’m just sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

“No, it’s me who should be sorry.” Peridot cringed and buried a hand in her hair. “Ugh, I’m such a clod! I wanted to tell you --”

“Wanted to tell me what?”

“-- but I didn’t know how. I was building you this morp studio in the woods --”

“Wait, was that what you were sneaking off to do?”

“It was going to be _amazing,_ and I was going to put a big ribbon on it like on TV, and I was going to have this whole speech that was going to be even better than the stuff Sapphire said at her wedding, and…” Her excited babbling trailed off. “I just… I didn’t know how to tell you how much you mean to me. I couldn’t even figure out how to explain to _myself_ how much you mean to me. I was so afraid I’d mess it up that I ended up not saying anything, and I could’ve… we could’ve…”

“Peri, it’s okay.” Lapis cupped her cheek with a hand. “You don’t have to tell me anything.”

“Yes, I do!” Peridot’s voice reached a fever pitch. “I love you, Lapis. I love you, I love you, I love you, and even if I don’t know how to say it I want you to know.”

“I know,” said Lapis, holding Peridot close. “I love you too.”

“No, that’s not enough! You need to know everything too, just like you told me. Like how the entire time I was helping build Little Homeworld I was thinking about how much you deserve a nice place to live where you can be happy and safe. And how part of why I wanted to make you a studio was so we could go make meep morps together, because you always come up with the best ideas and it makes me so happy to spend time with you. And how I love your sense of humor and how you listen to your problems and how you try to take care of me.” 

She jammed her fingers in her hair in frustration. “Ugh, this is coming out all wrong. I left my notes on what I was going to say back in the lair, and you deserved a really good confession with slow-motion cherry blossoms and soft focus. I was even going to get a fan to blow our hair around, and -- wait. What are you -- !”

Peridot was stopped mid-anxious-rant by Lapis cupping her cheek and gently turning her face towards her. “Can I kiss you?”

Peridot’s mind short circuited. “I’m in the middle of explaining how I’ve mishandled everything and you still want to kiss me?”

“Peridot, I’ve known you for years, and your cute rambling has in no way stopped me from wanting to kiss you. Can we just do it already?”

At a loss for words, Peridot just nodded, and a split second later, Lapis closed the gap between them.

Peridot had seen kissing on TV many times. She wasn’t expecting the reality to be as messy as it was. Their lips jammed together awkwardly at first. She had to quickly phase off her visor for fear of taking out Lapis’ eyes. She didn’t know what to do with her tongue. There was no soft focus and no slow-motion cherry blossoms, and it was nothing at all like she had read in her favorite Percy/Pierre fanfictions, the ones she liked to reread and imagine it was her and Lapis doing those things.

Despite all of this, kissing Lapis felt special in a way _Camp Pining Hearts_ could never have prepared her for. What human TV had failed to explain was how sweet and intimate it was. It reminded her of times they had lay together on the roof of the barn, stargazing and talking, or times when she had flown on Lapis’ back over the ocean at dawn -- times when it felt like it was only the two of them in all the galaxy.

She never wanted it to end, but at some point it had to. Lapis pulled away, flustered and smiling. Peridot had only seen her look like that in her dreams. In fact, she wasn’t _absolutely_ sure this wasn’t a dream she was having while in the real world she was still memory wiped and --

“Are you okay?” asked Lapis.

Pulled back to Earth, Peridot nodded. “Yes, I just… I can’t believe this is happening.” Her voice grew uncharacteristically shy as she asked, “Did you like it?”

“Of course I did. Did you?”

“Yes,” she said, vaguely aware that she was grinning like a maniac. “So, well, it’s pretty obvious that a lot of things I learned about relationships from TV were less than reliable. That means that I don’t actually know how all of this works. Are we… you know. Together?”

“Don’t you want to be?” 

“I do, yes!” Peridot snuggled into Lapis’ chest. “It just seems impossible. A Lapis Lazuli and a Peridot. Can you imagine?”

“Yeah, I’ve imagined it a lot.” Lapis was smiling down at her. “You’re not still worried about that, after all this time? We’re allowed to be together.”

“I know,” said Peridot. “When it was just the two of us in the barn, it was easy not to think about it. Both of us had been disowned by Homeworld and we thought there was no chance of going back, so it would have been illogical to care about rank. But then when we moved to Little Homeworld, things changed. There are tons of Gems now, lots of whom still care about the old castes. I was worried you might not want to be seen with me, or that you would find someone better.” 

“Peridot, listen.” Lapis raised her face by the chin. “I spent thousands of years with the elites, and you know what? I can’t think of any of them that were worth half of what you are.” She kissed Peridot tenderly. “When I was an elite, a lot of Gems wanted to be my friend. Some of them even wanted to be something more.”

“That was illegal, though.”

Lapis shrugged. “You could get away with a lot as long as you didn’t flaunt it. Anyway, I turned them all down -- and I wasn’t nice about it, either. I was a perfect cut Lapis Lazuli. Relationships were beneath me. At least, that’s what I would say.” She held Peridot closer. “When I was trapped in the mirror, I realized how ridiculous it all was. All that time I was worrying about my status and what other Gems would think, only to end up locked away forever. I spent a lot of time thinking about the Gems I had turned down. I could have had friendship, romance, even just flings behind closed doors, and I threw it all away. I was so lonely, Peri. I would have given anything to have even the memory of a relationship to dream about.”

Peridot brushed away the tear rolling down her cheek. “Lapis, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. I almost made the same mistake again. I was so scared of losing you that I almost never had you at all.”

“You have me now,” said Peridot, kissing her cheeks all over. 

“Finally,” said Lapis, returning the kisses.

“Finally!” she agreed. “Hey, Lapis… I’m sorry about the Rejuvenator, and making you scared that you would lose me. You were right all along. I should never have been experimenting with something like that.”

“It wasn’t your fault. It was sabotaged.”

“Right, Bis said that back at the forge. But even so, there wouldn’t have been anything to sabotage if I hadn’t been keeping such dangerous tech around the lair.”

“Peri.” Lapis looked away. “I know why you were doing that.”

Her chest tightened. “The outfit booth, you mean, right?” she said, nerves jangling. “The one you kept calling a suicide booth?”

“Not that. The actual reason.”

Peridot’s head shot up. “Zircs told you? She promised…!”

“No, no, she didn’t! At least not the whole story. In fact, I kind of… yelled at her because she didn’t tell.”

“You did what?! Lapis, that wasn’t her fault! I told her --”

“I _know_ , Peri. I apologized. I was really mad at myself, especially when I realized why.”

Peridot sighed. She hoped that this conversation wasn’t going to end their relationship before it even really started. “It’s okay, Lapis, I know you don’t really want to talk about -- _that_ \--”

“You can say ‘fusion’.”

“Fusion,” Peridot repeated. “I just didn’t want to upset you.”

“Peri, we _talked_ about this, after I came back. You weren’t going to hold back on your feelings to spare me, remember?”

“I know! But this was different. I know that fusion was a nightmare for you. I wanted to give you more time. I was completely fine with waiting to bring it up!”

Lapis raised an eyebrow. “Completely fine? You were trying to alter your own gemstone.”

“That’s because I didn’t know if I could! At least not until I fused with Steven. I just wanted to know, and have a backup plan if I couldn’t. Because…”

“Because why?”

“Because I thought -- okay, you don’t want to think about fusion _now,_ but how about years from now? There are so many cross-Gem fusions in Little Homeworld, and they’re always talking about how happy they are and how great it is. I thought someday, maybe, you’d decide you want that for yourself. You deserve to have a good experience with fusion! And if that happened, I wanted to be there to help. I thought maybe you could fuse with someone who loves you, and we could share memories and feelings and have a good time, and you’d see that fusion doesn’t have to be horrible.”

“Peri…”

“And I guess I just wanted to, too!” Unable to keep her emotions in check any longer, Peridot burst into tears. “I would think about how happy Garnet is, or I’d hang out with Stevonnie, and I would think about how we could be happy like that someday. I didn’t just want it for you, I wanted it for myself too. And I would feel horrible about it because I know that you might never want to fuse. I thought if I ever told you this, you’d think I don’t want to be with you unless we can fuse, and it’s not true!”

Lapis hugged Peridot tight. “I’m so sorry, Peri. I made you feel like you can’t talk about these things, even though it’s important to you.”

“It wasn’t so important that I wanted to dredge up bad memories.”

“You didn’t want to dredge up bad memories, but you were okay with experiments to alter your gem? Sometimes your priorities are…” She paused, searching for the right word. “Interesting.”

Peridot looked hopeful. “So are you mad at me for being interested in fusion?”

“No. I’m really not. And you’re allowed to want things even if they’re not what I want. We can always try to work it out.” She hesitated briefly before continuing. “The truth is, I kinda want to fuse with you too. I’m just afraid.”

“I understand! I promise, if we ever fused, I would try really hard to make it good for you. I had a really nice time with Steven, so I think I could do it!”

“It isn’t _you_ I’m afraid of, it’s _me._ I’m afraid I would hurt you. Malachite wasn’t all Jasper, you know,” she said, speaking the names she usually tried to avoid. “It was half me. My rage, my desire for revenge, chaining Jasper down for months. I don’t want to expose you to all that. I care about you too much.”

“I trust you, Lapis. I know you wouldn’t hurt me like that.”

Lapis shook her head. “You don’t know what I’m capable of.”

“Maybe I do know what you’re capable of, and that’s _why_ I trust you. Because I know what you’ve been through, and what you can do, and I still see you trying every day to be better. I trust you a lot more than some Gem who thinks they’re already perfect, because I know how hard you try. And yeah, Malachite was part you, but I bet a lot of that was Jasper bringing out your worst. If it were with me, I could help you. We could help each other!”

Peridot smiled at Lapis, trying to project her very best “we can do this together” face. Lapis seemed to appreciate it, since her expression softened and she cuddled Peridot close again.

“Peri… I know you mean what you’re saying, but I’m still not sure I’ll ever be ready to fuse. What if I never wanted to?”

“Then that’s okay. You’re more important to me than fusion.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course! Besides, even if I can’t fuse with you, I can have fun fusing with my friends… right?” Peridot looked for Lapis’ reaction. She didn’t _think_ Lapis was actually angry about her fusing with Steven, but…

“Yeah! That reminds me, I want to meet Tilly someday.”

Peridot sighed in relief. “You want to meet Tilly? Really?”

“My two favorite Gems, together? Of course. I love them already.” Lapis grinned. She suddenly pulled out her buzzing phone. “Oh, it’s Bis. She’s wondering if we’re okay. Should I tell her you got your memories back, or do you want to tell her in person?”

“Well…” Peridot looked around her at the autumn leaves and the quietly babbling brook. She wasn’t all that keen on leaving this magical place and returning back to reality, but they couldn’t stay there forever and she knew her friends must be worried. “I guess we should probably go back, huh? They’ll want to know I’m okay.”

“Yeah,” said Lapis, clearly also feeling melancholy about leaving. “There’s the sabotage investigation, too.”

“The sabotage!” Peridot had been so distracted by finally confessing her feelings that she had almost forgotten about the small problem of _Gems trying to kill her._ “Do we know who did it? And how? And if they’re going to strike again?”

“You’ll want to talk to Zircs for that. She’s been investigating it. Last I talked to her, she thought the other Peridots were behind it.”

“Really?!” Peridot’s eyes widened. “Dottie and 2PK? But why?”

“I’m not sure. Zircs thought it was probably them since you told them about the Rejuvenator. Did you tell anyone else?”

“Oh stars, I did tell Dottie about it! I don’t think I told anyone else, just you, Bis and Zircs.” Peridot looked troubled. “I thought we were friends. Well, Dottie, anyway. Why would they be trying to kill me? I’d better go talk to Zircs.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll want to talk to you too, so you can help her figure this out.” With great reluctance, the two Gems got to their feet. “Want me to drop you off there?”

“Drop me off? You’re not coming?”

Lapis shuffled, rubbing one arm with her hand. “This was kind of a lot. I could really use some time to think.”

“Are you going to be okay? With the saboteurs and all...”

“Me? Yeah.” Lapis seemed surprised. “I can take care of myself, and it’s not like they could do much to me when I’m flying.” Her eyebrows furrowed. “Maybe I should drop you off with Bis, though. No offense to Zircs, but she really isn’t much protection if something were to happen.”

“I can take care of myself, too!” said Peridot, defensively.

“I know! But you can take care of yourself _better_ if another Gem has your back.”

“Fine. I concede your point. Drop me off at the forge, and I can text Zircs to stop by.”

“Good plan.”

* * *

“Bis! Guess what!” Peridot ran into Bismuth’s forge, practically vibrating with excitement.

Bismuth looked up from her book as Peridot bounced from foot to foot. “Peri! Lapis said she was gonna drop you off. Wait -- did you get your memories back?”

“I kissed Lapis!” Peridot screamed, grabbing Bismuth by both arms. “Oh, yeah, and I got my memories back. But more importantly, I kissed Lapis!”

“Oh, wow,” said Bismuth, putting her book down. “It’s about time. I guess that was what --”

“I kissed Lapis!” Peridot danced around the forge, unable to contain herself. “And you know what else, Bis?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “Lapis _kissed me back._ She said we’re…” She paused for dramatic emphasis as she perched on top of Bismuth’s anvil. “...a _couple._ A couple!” She flopped backwards in a romantic fugue. “This is the greatest day of my life! Apart from Gems trying to kill me, I guess. No, even with Gems trying to kill me. _I kissed Lapis.”_

“I’m real happy for you, Peri,” said Bismuth, grinning and leaning against the anvil. “So was that what restored your memories?”

“It was the power of love, Bis,” said Peridot, dreamily. “Just like when Zora freed Ellie from the witch’s curse in _Special Vampire Unit._ There is absolutely nothing that could ruin this moment for me.” She sat up, remembering. “Oh, right! I need to text Zircs. She was _so right_ about being honest with Lapis. I should tell her that. She loves being right.”

 **PERI5XG:** ZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRCS

 **PERI5XG:** I’M BACK :D :D :D <3 <3 <3

 **PERI5XG:** YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT

 **PERI5XG:** I KISSED LAPIS

 **PERI5XG:** YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING

 **PERI5XG:** COME TO THE FORGE SO I CAN TELL YOU HOW RIGHT YOU WERE, YOU CAN EVEN BE TOTALLY SMUG IF YOU WANT

 **PERI5XG:** <3 <3 <3 I’M SO HAPPY <3 <3 <3

“You know she’s busy investigating the plot against you, right?”

“Yes, yes, Gems trying to kill me.” Peridot waved it off dismissively, not really wanting her mood to be brought back down. 

Bismuth raised an eyebrow. “You seem awfully calm about this.”

Peridot opened her mouth to respond to Bismuth, her cheer leaking slightly. “Yes, well, I… kind of wanted to just think about Lapis for a while. But… yeah. I suppose if I shatter in an act of industrial sabotage I won’t get to go on an actual date with Lapis.”

“That’s certainly one way to think about it.”

“Is it really Dottie and 2PK?” said Peridot, trying to shift focus. “After everything we did for them? I thought they were adjusting well. Why would they do something like this? I mean, when Navy tricked us, it was because she wanted her spaceship back. What would they get from sabotaging Little Homeworld or hurting me?”

“I don’t know, Peri. There’s a lot of Gems who aren’t too happy about what we’re doing here.”

“Yeah, but elite Gems! Not other Peridots! You think they’d be happy about all this.”

“It’s not always that simple,” said Bismuth, throwing her arm around the now saddened Gem’s shoulder. “Thousands of years of conditioning don’t always get undone just like that. Even if what we’re doing benefits them, they might still see it as wrong. Or there could be an elite pulling their strings.”

“If there were an elite controlling them, all they have to do is tell Steven and he’d take care of it!”

“Not all Gems have that kind of trust in Steven,” Bismuth pointed out. “Just because you and I know what kind of Gem he is doesn’t mean everybody does. They might not believe he can actually help.” She looked down, deep in thought. “You know, Peri, there’s a lot of Gems who think this isn’t going to last. That this is all an experiment doomed to failure, and pretty soon we’re going to be back in Era 2.”

Peridot shook her head. “No way. We’ve put so much work into it, and so many Gems are on our side. There’s no way we’re going back.”

Bismuth smiled at her. “I know. I like to think that too. But not everyone’s so convinced. Gems who think this isn’t going to last might hesitate to side with Steven over the old elites. They might think they’ll be punished or worse if this all goes down the drain. And you know, a lot of Gems prefer the known to the unknown, even if the known is terrible.”

“Ugh, how can they be that way?!” Peridot clutched her hair in frustration. “We’re trying to help them. I’m personally trying to help them! But how can I do that if they’re trying to kill me?!” She let out a long groan. Her track record with converting Homeworld Gems to love the Earth was not nearly as good as she had hoped.

At least she still had…

She looked at her phone and frowned.

“Bis? Zircs isn’t responding.”

“Well, she’s pretty busy…”

“There’s _no way_ she wouldn’t have responded to this!”

“Maybe she’s taking a nap or something?” said Bismuth, with increasing unease.

Peridot’s sense of alarm was growing rapidly. “Who knew she was investigating this?”

“No one outside the Crystal Gems, I don’t think. We didn’t want to tip off any suspects. But I guess since she’s the only lawyer on the team, it wouldn’t be hard to figure out she’s investigating this...”

“Oh, stars!” Peridot hopped off the anvil. “We need to go find her. C’mon.”

Bismuth didn’t hesitate to follow. “Right. Let’s go.”

* * *

“Zircs? Zircs!” Peridot called while knocking frantically on the office door. She turned to Bismuth. “I’m going in.”

Peridot slid the door open. The lights were on, but there was no sign of Zircon. Nothing looked out of place, except…

She quickly clapped her hand to her mouth to stifle her yelp before dropping to her knees in front of the electronic wreckage on the floor. “Bis! It’s her phone!”

“Oh, slag. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure! I custom made this phone!” she said, her voice rising with hysterics. “They got her, Bis!”

“Now, hold on! We don’t know that yet. Maybe she’s just poofed. Let’s look for her gem.”

Peridot didn’t budge from her spot as Bismuth quickly swept the room. “I don’t see anything. No shards, though, so at least there’s… Peri?”

She was curled up into a shaking ball next to the remains of Zircon’s phone. “No…! This is my fault, Bis. For real this time!”

“This is no more your fault than the Robonoid was, Peri.” Bismuth put a hand on Peri’s back. “We need to focus on finding her right now.”

“If they didn’t poof her and didn’t shatter her, they must have taken her! And that means she could be anywhere! Where could we even start on finding a bubbled Gem? They could have just --” Peridot mimed creating a bubble and tapping on the top. “-- teleported it anywhere in an instant! Or they could have taken her through the warps, or hidden her somewhere we’d never think to look, or --”

“Okay, just calm down, we need to --”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Peridot suddenly whipped around to yell. “They _took_ her, Bis! They took one of my best friends to get back at me. And now I might never see her again and she didn’t deserve _any_ of this and I should have been here to keep her safe and --”

“I’m sorry, Peri,” said Bismuth, hugging a sobbing Peridot, who collapsed into her arms. “I didn’t mean ‘calm down’ like you shouldn’t be upset. But we can’t assume we won’t find her when we haven’t even started looking for her yet. And I can tell you that we’re _definitely_ going to find out who’s responsible and make them pay.”

Peridot wasn’t especially comforted. “What good does it do to punish Gems if we can’t even get Zircs back? I should’ve put security on her office, some guard Robonoids or alarms or something. I should’ve put a tracking device on her Gem in case she got kidnapped!”

“Peri, you had no idea she was going to get kidnapped.”

“And I’ve got that thing I was working on, that thing that pops a bubble from the inside, if only she were wearing one of _those_ …” Peridot suddenly stopped, mid-rant. “Wait. I’ve got it.”

“Got what?”

“I’m going to get kidnapped!”

Bismuth stared at Peridot. “ _What?”_

“Whoever kidnapped Zircs probably teleported her bubble somewhere, right? If they bubble me, they’d do the same thing, and then I’d be in the same place as Zircs!”

“...in a bubble. So you’d both be kidnapped.”

“No, because I’d have a thing on my gem that pops the bubble on a timer.”

“This is something you made? Why?”

“Well, for this, obviously! I mean at the time I had no idea why I was making it, I just wanted to see if it was possible, but this is clearly the best possible use of this tech.”

“Okay, there are a _lot_ of problems with this plan, but let’s start with the fact that in the best case scenario you’d end up alone in hostile territory.”

“I wouldn’t be alone! I’d unpop Zircs’ bubble. That’s the entire point of this!”

“And you’re expecting her to help you fight?”

“I can fight myself,” said Peridot, her tone daring Bismuth to disagree. “I’d bring weapons in my gem. Zircs would be moral support.”

“And how are you planning to get them to kidnap you?”

“I just got back, right? They probably don’t know I have my memories back. I could text the unknown number, tell her I want to meet up with her. You could be hiding somewhere to make sure they actually just kidnap me and don’t try anything worse.”

Bismuth shook her head. “Look, why don’t we just do this the easy way? It’s Dottie and 2PK who were behind this, right? Let’s just go get them and make them tell us what they did with Zircs.”

“We don’t know if they’ll talk, though! Remember what you said? If they’re working for some elite, and worried the elite Gem will punish them worse than what we can do, they might not talk for anything. Or they could just lie and send us into an ambush or something.” Peridot was nervously pacing back and forth. “If we do the fake kidnapping plan, then we’ll know where Zircs is for sure. If we try interrogating them and they don’t talk, then they’ll be onto us and we can’t do my plan.”

“You’re calling this a fake kidnapping, but it sure seems like a real kidnapping to me.” Bismuth ran her hand through her hair. “I get what you’re saying, I do, but this plan is insane.”

“Bis,” Peridot said, looking up at her friend. “I’m not losing Zircs. I’m not. It’s just not an option. I have to try.”

Bismuth couldn’t hold back a smile. “You would have been a great member of the Rebellion, you know that?” She sighed, resigned. “I still think this plan is insane, but it’s exactly the kind of insane thing I would’ve done to protect my friends.”

“Wait, so you’re actually going to let me do this?!” Peridot was surprised that her effort to convince Bis had actually worked.

“When you’re this determined to do something, I’m not sure I can stop you. At least if I go along with your plan, I can be your backup.”

“Great!” said Peridot. “I’ll grab all the tracking devices I can find, put them in my Gem, and give you the controls. That way when I emerge from the bubble you’ll know where I am right away and can send backup.”

“I’ll rally the rest of the Crystal Gems. I’ve got a feeling we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

Peridot was looking at her phone. “I’m going to have to tell Lapis about this. She’s not going to be happy I’m doing something so dangerous right after we got together.”

“You have to be honest with her. You can’t hide something like this.”

“I know that. I’ll tell her. I just hope she’ll understand why I have to do this.” 

* * *

When Peridot and Bismuth arrived at the lair, Peridot immediately dove into a bin in the corner to look for tracking devices. “Okay, I’ve got four. That’s probably enough. One for me, one I could stick on Zircs, two more that I could leave in strategic locations. Now I’ve gotta find the --” She stopped upon seeing the workbench where the Rejuvenator had exploded. “Bis, is this where…?”

“Yeah, sure looks like it.”

“Where’s the Rejuvenator, though?” Peridot asked.

“The one that exploded? I don’t know. Steven and Lapis were down here with you, did one of them pick it up?”

“I don’t think they did,” said Peridot. “And it’s gone now -- does that mean someone else was down here? Did no one even lock the door? And now they have the Rejuvenator? When this is all over I’m putting _so much security_ on the lair.”

She looked wistfully up at the hammock she and Lapis shared. Hammock cuddles were going to be so much better now that they were finally a couple. All she needed to do was get herself kidnapped, go rescue her friend, topple the saboteurs plotting against Little Homeworld, and then, finally, she could spend some quality time with her new girlfriend.

She looked down at her phone and its lack of messages, feeling an eerie sense of deja vu.

“I messaged Lapis about what happened ten minutes ago and she hasn’t responded yet. You don’t think they could have…?”

“Are you serious, Peri?” 

“She told me she was going flying! How would they get her if she was flying?”

The door to the lair slid open. Peridot was _sure_ she had locked it, and for a minute she was hopeful it was Lapis returning home.

The destabilizer flew by her face and hit Bismuth before either of them could react.

“Bis!” screamed Peri as the square gem clattered to the floor.

“Peridot, I’m so glad I found you!” said 2PK, standing just inside the doorway. “You can’t trust any of these Gems! You have to come with me right now!”

Peridot used her ferrokinesis to pull up several pieces of sheet metal and use them to slam 2PK up against the wall. “I’ve already got my memories back, you clod!” she yelled, as she pulled 2PK’s limb enhancers off with her mind.

“Oh, stardust. Just great. I knew this would happen.” 2PK wriggled uselessly behind the metal sheets. Peridot could feel her reaching out and pushing back with her own metal powers, but they were weak and unfocused compared to her own. Of course, Peridot hadn’t realized she had metal powers _at all._ There were more important questions to ask right now, though.

“Where’s Zircs? What did you do with her?” Peridot demanded, trying to make herself sound as threatening as possible.

“Zircs? I’m surprised you’re not more worried about your precious Lapis Lazuli.”

Peridot felt her panic rise as she involuntarily tightened the metal sheets around 2PK. “What did you do with Lapis?!”

“Dottie got her with a flying destabilizer to the back. Simple, really. You have way too much faith in your little water Gem.”

“You’re going to tell me what you did with her _right now,”_ said Peridot, picking up the destabilizer and pointing it directly at 2PK’s face.

“Or what, you’ll destabilize me? Sweet stars, please do, put me out of my misery.” 2PK gave a bitter laugh. “I’m completely screwed now no matter what happens. You get that, right? Either my Agate punishes me for failing, probably harvests me, or you guys punish me for sabotaging Little Homeworld. So just poof me and get it over with.”

Peridot took a moment to try to quiet her anger. Saving her friends was more important than taking revenge on this pathetic clod. She dropped the hand with the destabilizer. “It doesn’t have to be that way, 2PK. We can help you. If you tell me what happened to --”

“Oh, you can help me?” said 2PK, cutting Peridot off. “Just like your amazing new Diamond did when he visited our colony?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Pink came to visit our colony as part of his whirlwind diplomacy tour. I thought maybe, finally, someone would see what had been going on.” 2PK fought back angry tears. “All our Agate had to do was put on a pretty front and go on and on about how much she loved Era 3 and how happy all her subordinates were. The second Pink left, she beat anyone who she didn’t think did a good enough job acting. The abuse, the disappearances… no one’s bothered to look into any of it.”

“You’ve been in Little Homeworld for over a year now! Why didn’t you just tell us?”

“Why should I have expected you to be able to help? What were you going to do? Send it through the court system like good little Gems? Would I have to wait for your one pathetic Zircon to get off her lazy butt and get around to it?”

Peridot pushed the metal sheets into 2PK harder, enough so that she momentarily glitched. “You insult her again and I’ll -- !”

“You’ll what, poof me? That’s what I want you to do, idiot. That Zircon is a weak, nervous, barely functional Gem in way over her head. Your Lapis Lazuli is a shameful waste of potential who’d be better off if she never met any of you. That Bismuth there talks a big game, but she sure can’t back it up where it counts, can she? Your Diamond is barely out of kindergarten and has no clue what really goes on in the Gempire or how he’s going to fix it. And you! You might be the worst of them all.” 

Her eyes narrowed as she continued her rant. “You think you’re so important because your Diamond handed you a fancy title, but you’re no better than any of us. You think a Diamond and a Lapis Lazuli would want to be your friends, when they really just pity you. That’s why you pal around with defects like that Zircon, so you can have a friend sadder than you are. You’re an illogical, emotional, incompetent waste of space who wasn’t worth the minerals used to create you. And deep down inside, you know that. So for once in your life do your stars-forsaken job and _end me already!”_

Peridot mustered everything she had to not fly off the handle. Behind her, multiple metal pipes twisted up into knots. 

“No. I won’t.”

2PK struggled and raged behind her metal prison. “Why _not,_ you insufferable sack of dirt?”

“Because I got a chance. You never did. You at least deserve that.” Peridot loosened her hold on the metal sheets slightly, just enough so that she was no longer crushing 2PK. “What you said wasn’t even entirely wrong. We really are way in over our heads. We have no idea what we’re doing. We’re definitely flawed in all kinds of ways. But we’re trying. If you help me find Lapis and Zircs, I’ll make sure you get a chance to try. I promise.”

“How can you possibly promise that? I committed treason against Pink Diamond. The Diamonds will want justice.”

“I can talk to Steven. You might think he’s only friends with me out of pity, but he listens to me. And I know he’ll listen to this, because he’s the one who taught me that every Gem deserves a second chance. This is what he would do if he were here, I’m sure of it.”

“How can I possibly trust you?”

Peridot shrugged. “You won’t, I know. But think about it. Your Agate is absolutely going to punish you for failure, but you don’t know what we’ll do. If I’m lying, you end up punished either way. If I’m telling the truth, you could make it out of this intact.” She stared down 2PK. “If you think you’re a better Peridot than me, then be logical about this. You know I’m right.”

2PK stared back at Peridot, murder in her eyes. After a long moment, she groaned and dropped her head. “Fine. You win. What do you want to know?”

“Start by telling me where they took Lapis. What are they doing with her?”

“The Rejuvenators…” 2PK started. “My Agate has had a small team experimenting with them for a while. They’re unreliable -- the memory wipe isn’t complete, and the subjects tend to get their memories back at the worst possible moments. You know, like you did. It’s crude Era 1 tech, but it’s a start.”

“A start for what?”

“What if, instead of wiping memories entirely, it was a little more selective? What if it could suppress positive memories and amplify negative ones? What if we could use that to brainwash Gems into permanently turning against their friends and allies?” 

Peridot’s eyes widened in horror as 2PK continued.

“Good thing we don’t know any ridiculously powerful and dangerous Gems with tragic pasts and anger issues, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your support for this story of Gems in love.


	13. Bismuth Kicks Some Ass

Regeneration was relaxing, in a way. Floating along in a semi-conscious state, healing your form’s accumulated wounds, designing your new appearance -- all of these things were pleasurable and cathartic. 

That is, they _could be_ pleasurable and cathartic, if you were poofed in an accident among friends and had all the time in the world to retreat into your Gem. It was a different story when the last thing you saw before your form dissipating was a known kidnapper coming for one of your friends. That particular situation warranted healing and regenerating as fast as possible, without compromising her own safety. After all, she wouldn’t be any use to Peridot and the others if she came out of the regeneration non-functional.

It took Bismuth only a split second to realize she had regenerated exactly where she had dropped. She heard 2PK’s voice and whipped around, ready to confront her, before she saw the full situation. The rogue Gem had been subdued behind several sheets of metal, with Peridot standing nearby, looking deeply distressed.

“You were going to do that _to me?”_ said Peridot, horrified.

2PK scoffed. “It clearly didn’t take, did it? Seemed like you just had a normal Rejuvenation. Lucky you. You did stars knows what to that Rejuvenator and I couldn’t figure out how to make the modifications.”

“What are you talking about?” said Bismuth, sternly, walking up to the two.

“Bis!” cried Peridot, tackle hugging her with enough force that she would have poofed herself if she were less resilient. “You’re all right!”

“Sure, I’m all right,” she said. “It was you I was worried about. Seems you took care of our saboteur, though.”

“Whatever,” said 2PK, rolling her eyes.

“She didn’t stand a chance against me,” said Peridot, proudly.

“Course she didn’t.” Bismuth ruffled Peridot’s hair. “But you wanna tell me why she’s decorating the wall instead of in a bubble?”

“Bis,” said Peridot, her voice suddenly filled with despair. “They took Lapis.”

“No.” Bismuth’s mood darkened as she turned to 2PK, who appeared to be trying to back away even though she already had her back firmly pressed to the wall. Bismuth slammed her fist next to her head, causing 2PK to cringe and flinch away. “You worthless pile of slag. You thought you could kidnap our friends and get away with it?”

“Bis! Bis, no! She has information! I promised we wouldn’t hurt her if she helped us!”

“You can’t trust _her!”_ Bismuth struggled to keep her anger in check. “These mudstains are the Gems who tried to kill you multiple times. They wiped your memory, they kidnapped Zircs, and now you’re telling me they got Lapis too. And for some reason she’s still talking and not in a bubble?”

“This might be the only way we can find them!” screamed Peridot. “I don’t trust her, but what am I supposed to do? I have to -- we --” Her voice hitched as a tear down her cheek. 

Bismuth relented. Making Peridot feel worse was definitely not her goal. “I get that, but any information she gives us is worthless. She has no reason to cooperate.”

“I knew I wasn’t going to get a second chance,” said 2PK, bitterly, drawing their attention. “You’d never let a Gem like me go after what I did. So just get it over with. Poof me.”

“Don’t _tempt_ me,” Bismuth practically snarled at 2PK before turning back to Peridot. “You promised her a second chance in exchange for information?”

Peridot looked at the floor, miserable. “It’s what Steven would do.”

Bismuth groaned in frustration and anger. “Well, Steven’s not here, and we can’t _trust_ her, Peri! She tried to kill you!”

“I tried to kill Steven!” Peridot shot back. “Steven and the other Crystal Gems. I kidnapped him, too. They were gonna leave me in a bubble, but Steven freed me because I had information. Should they have left me in a bubble?”

Bismuth opened her mouth, but had no response. She had tried to kill Steven too. They could’ve left her in a bubble forever, if they had wanted. The situations were different, but -- 

“You’re right.”

“It’s our _only_ chance at -- wait, what?”

“You’re right. It’s what Steven would do. And it’s the right thing to do, or at least to try.” Bismuth crossed her arms and faced 2PK. She wasn’t even really trying to be intimidating, but 2PK flinched anyway. “So. Our friends. Where are they?”

“I don’t know.” Her curt answer turned to panic as Bismuth’s expression soured. “I mean it, I swear! I really don’t know! There’s a lot they don’t trust me with. They know I don’t give a pebble about their stupid Era 3 feud. My Agate only keeps me around because I’m the best Peridot she has if she actually needs something fixed.”

“You really have no idea where they could’ve been taken?” said Bismuth, skeptical. “Where did you plan all this, then?”

“Back at the colony. Yellow 82. Were you not part of Steven’s little tourist group?” When she received only glares from Bismuth and Peridot, she continued. “My Agate has a base somewhere on the planet, away from the part of the colony you saw. It doesn’t have a warp -- they use transports to get there, to keep it hidden. I’ve never been. Like I said, they don’t really trust me. They’ve taken Dottie there, though. She’s the one who teleports the kidnapped Gems away. That was what I was supposed to do -- take your bubbles to Dottie.”

Peridot hit her hand with her fist. “That’s it. That’s how I find Lapis.”

“What?” said Bismuth, confused.

“My plan! I was going to have them kidnap me so they’d teleport me right to where Lapis and Zircs are, right? This is perfect! I’ll put the tracker and the bubble popper on my gem. You poof me and give my bubble to 2PK. She’ll take it to Dottie, who teleports me right to where Lapis is. You’ll be watching to make sure she doesn’t try anything. It can’t possibly go wrong!”

“No, there’s actually a lot of things that could go wrong,” said Bismuth. “We went over this back at Zircs’ office, Peri. Even if all of this works exactly like you hope, you still end up regenerating in a place that’s probably swarming with hostile Gems.”

“With Lapis!” said Peri. “First thing I’ll do is free her. We can fight together.”

“And if she’s not there?”

“She has to be.” Peridot sounded uncharacteristically broken. “She has to be. If she isn’t…”

Bismuth realized she had to cut Peridot off from that train of thought to keep her from losing her grip. “I know you’re worried about Lapis, but we don’t need to do it this way. Let’s just rally the rest of the Crystal Gems and head off to that colony. Once we’re there, I’m sure we can use some _persuasion_ to find out where the secret base is. We stick together and rescue our friends.”

“That’ll take too long!” Peridot threw her hands in the air.

“They’ve probably just bubbled her, Peri, she’ll be --”

“No, they haven’t just bubbled her! 2PK, tell her.”

Bismuth turned to 2PK in confusion.

“My Agate is using a modified Rejuvenator to suppress positive memories and amplify negative ones.” She paused, letting that sink in. “As far as I know, she was planning to use it on your friend, the unstable water Gem. Don’t know why you all kept a ticking time bomb like that around in the first pla --” 2PK suddenly stopped talking as the metal sheets tightened around her.

“Peri, let her finish!” said Bismuth, alarmed.

“Oh, _now_ you want her to talk,” said Peridot. She loosened her mental grip, releasing the metal just slightly. “You heard what they’re doing to Lapis! That’s why we have to hurry!”

“Yeah, that’s bad,” she conceded. “That’s real, real bad. But still, what’s even the point of doing something like that? To torment her?”

“She was hoping she could brainwash Lapis into attacking Little Homeworld.”

“She’d never do that,” said Bismuth, immediately. “She’s a stronger Gem than you think.”

“That’s right!” Peridot agreed.

“If you amplified her bad memories, why would she go after Little Homeworld, anyway? Why not the Diamonds, or Jasper?”

“Why not?” 2PK shrugged. “She does something like that, my Agate has a whole narrative to push about how Earth Gems are dangerous and unstable. She said it doesn’t matter who Lapis attacks, just as long as she causes lots of damage.” She glared at Bismuth and Peridot. “She wanted you two to get in on the fun, too, attacking the Diamonds or whatever. That’s where I screwed up, and why I can’t go back there without getting harvested. Would’ve been a lot easier for everyone if you’d just let us capture you.”

Bismuth did her best to ignore that last remark. “Peri, do you think Lapis would…”

Peridot’s face said it all. “Bis, we have to hurry. I need to get there _now.”_

“We need backup. We need to get the rest of the Crystal Gems.”

“That’ll take too long.”

“ _We need backup._ If I poof you, it’ll be just me against the two of them.”

“But you’re --”

“I’m good, I know it, but being good doesn’t mean I’m stupid. Dottie managed to take down Lapis. I’m not doing this without backup.”

Peridot shook her head. “They’re going to try to stop me.”

 _Maybe they should,_ Bismuth thought, but she knew saying that wouldn’t help. “Unless you want both of us to get captured, too, it’s our only option.”

“Fine. But it has to be quick.” Pain was etched all over Peridot’s face. It was obvious she couldn’t stop thinking about her friends being tortured. She really wasn’t in the best mindset to be making decisions.

Bismuth pulled out her phone and texted the rest of the group.

* * *

“You want to _what?!”_ screamed Amethyst.

“I have to get to Lapis! Amethyst, _please!”_ Peridot yelled back desperately. 

Bismuth and Peridot’s emergency summons, along with their hasty explanation of what had happened, had pulled the entire remainder of the Crystal Gems into the lair in less than ten minutes. Thankfully, none of them had been too far away from a warp. 

Pearl was pacing nervously. Connie looked to be in shock. Steven had his arm protectively around her, but he looked as if he were about to burst into tears any second. Garnet stood by, as stoic as usual, but her fists were clenched in anger.

“Peridot, this plan is insane!” said Pearl, pausing briefly in her pacing. “You can’t possibly expect us to help you get yourself kidnapped.”

“Easy for you to say!” Peridot retorted angrily. “They’re not _your_ friends!”

“That’s _ridiculous,_ Peri, of course we’re… kind of… friends.”

“Do you even _care_ that --”

“Whoa, whoa, guys!” said Bismuth, stepping between them. “This is no time for fighting each other. The focus is rescuing Lapis and Zircs.”

“It’s my fault,” said Steven, suddenly. His voice was soft, but all eyes went to him anyway.

“Steven, no,” said Connie.

“It is! I should have known. I should have known that getting the Diamonds on my side wouldn’t be enough. I should have known that there’d still be abuse going on. I wanted to think that everything would be okay…”

“Steven,” said Pearl, laying a comforting hand on the shoulder opposite Connie. “No one here thinks this is your fault.”

“I do,” said 2PK, now sitting on the floor wrapped in strips of sheet metal. “Ow!” she cried out as Amethyst lightly kicked her.

“Shut up!” said Amethyst to the Gem on the floor. “Steven, no one expects you to have fixed everything in the Gempire in what, less than three years?”

“But I didn’t even think…” Steven clutched his hair in his hand as tears filled his eyes.

“It’s _not_ your fault,” said Connie, firmly. “You _can’t_ fix thousands of years of injustice that easily, no matter what some Gems say.” She shot a dirty look at 2PK, who rolled her eyes. “We have an immediate situation to deal with. When we get done with that, why don’t we all work together on a plan to find out the remaining abuses and start to correct them? Maybe you can even get the Diamonds to help. It’d be good for them to work on solving some of the problems they created.”

“That’s an excellent idea, Connie!” said Pearl, brightly.

“I guess,” said Steven, taking a ragged breath. “You’re right, though. We need to save our friends first.”

“When you form your little committee, make sure you don’t hurt your arms patting yourselves on the back,” said 2PK, making a loud clanking noise as she deliberately tipped over onto her side.

“Yo, why’s she not poofed again?” said Amethyst.

“Because we need her to take my bubbled Gem to Dottie. And don’t start!” Peridot said to Amethyst, who was opening her mouth to protest. “I’m going to find Lapis and none of you can stop me.”

“Why does it have to be you, though?” said Amethyst. “Couldn’t it be any of us? Maybe someone trained in fighting? No offense, Peri.”

“I was _supposed_ to kidnap Peridot,” said 2PK.

“So what? Tell Dottie one of the other Crystal Gems got in the way.” Amethyst glared down at 2PK.

“Why don’t I go?” said Pearl. “I’ve fought through a few Homeworld bases in my day.”

“Same here,” Bismuth added. “I could go. 2PK was planning to capture me anyway.”

“I’ll go!” said Steven.

Pearl raised an eyebrow. “The plan requires your gem to be bubbled, remember?”

“Oh. Right.”

“It has to be Peridot.” All eyes turned to Garnet.

“Why?” said Bismuth.

“Fighting through the Era 2 loyalists isn’t the issue here. We achieve victory over them in almost every timeline. The problem is getting to Lapis in time.”

“So, she’s really gonna…?”

“In some futures, yes. There are many possible futures for Lapis right now -- probably some that even I can’t see.” She faced Peridot. “If we’re going to send anyone ahead, it needs to be Peridot.”

“So you agree that I should go!” said Peridot.

Garnet didn’t answer immediately. Instead, she walked over to Peridot, kneeled down, and put a hand on her shoulder. “Peridot. I need you to listen carefully.”

Peridot didn’t always react well to other Gems kneeling down to talk to her, but Garnet was an exception. “Yes, I’m listening.”

“Having you teleported to the Agate’s base is our best possible chance at saving Lapis before she does something terrible, or is irrevocably traumatized.”

“There’s a chance, then?” said Peridot. “Then what are we waiting for?”

“ _Listen to me._ That’s not the only possibility here. There’s a chance that you… don’t come back.”

“Don’t come back?”

“In the futures I can see, you don’t always save her. And we can’t always save you. You need to understand the risk you’re taking.”

The lair was deathly quiet. Not even 2PK dared to make a noise. Peridot’s eyes were wide, her face pale. “Is that… likely?”

“It’s hard to say,” said Garnet. “I don’t think it’s likely _,_ but it’s certainly possible _._ If you go after Lapis, you could be shattered or captured. You already know that the Gems we’re fighting won’t hesitate to harm you. It’s important that you take this warning seriously.”

Peridot looked terrified, but she nodded rapidly. “I understand. I’ll do it anyway.”

“I know. There was no future where I talked you out of this. But there’s something critical you need to remember. Your life could depend on it.”

“Tell me!” Peridot leaned forward eagerly.

“Trust your friends.”

“Trust my friends?” she repeated, confused. “I do trust my friends.”

Bismuth thought of all the trouble that had been caused from the fact that Peridot and Lapis couldn’t just sit down and talk to each other and chose to say nothing.

“I’m serious, Peridot. If you want everyone to make it out of this, you need to remember: trust your friends.”

“All right, I’ve got it!” said Peridot impatiently. “Don’t we have to hurry to save Lapis?”

“Garnet, are you sure…?” asked Pearl.

“I wouldn’t send her into danger if I weren’t.”

All focus had been on Garnet and Peridot, and no one except Connie had noticed Steven’s composure breaking until he was hugging Peridot, tears running down his face.

“Steven!” Peridot, surprised, was obviously struggling to keep herself from crying as well.

“Be careful, Peri,” he said. “You’re one of my best friends and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“You’re one of my best friends, too,” said Peridot, her voice wavering. “I promise I’ll be careful. And when we get back, we can watch the season premiere of the CPH reboot!”

“Oh, yeah, that was next week, wasn’t it? Haven’t we been through enough without subjecting ourselves to new CPH?” he joked, smiling through his tears.

“Come on, you _know_ you want to see what they do with the ridiculous subplot with Jasmin and the witch coven.”

“Yeah, I do.” Steven broke off the hug, looking at Peridot fondly. “Hey, I never even congratulated you on getting back your memory! Things have been happening way too fast. When’d that happen, anyway?”

“Steven!” Peridot vibrated with glee, all traces of distress momentarily banished from her face. “I kissed Lapis!”

“You kissed Lapis? That’s great! I’m so happy for you!”

“It was _amazing,_ Steven, it was just like I had imagined! Except it was really not at all like I imagined, it was totally different and _even better_ …” She turned serious, remembering. “That’s why I have to get her back.”

Bismuth looked at the mixture of determination and fear written across Peridot’s face. She was an engineer, meant to fix technical problems and otherwise stay out of everyone’s way. She was never designed for even a fraction of the things she had accomplished, and here she was, throwing herself into danger for the Gem she loved.

Before she even realized what she was doing, she pulled Peridot off the ground into a hug. Peridot squeaked in surprise before returning the embrace.

“I’m so proud of you, Peridot,” said Bismuth. “You’re one of the realest Crystal Gems there is, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“Wow, thanks,” said Peridot, and Bismuth could feel tears drop onto her shoulder. “That really means a lot to me, Bis.”

No sooner had Bismuth set Peridot down then she got tackled by Amethyst. “You’d better not mess this up and get yourself hurt, okay? If you don’t come back safe I’ll be _so mad_ at you.”

“I’ll be careful. Thanks, Amethyst.”

“Uggggggggh.” 2PK let out a loud groan. “How do you Gems even get anything done with all the hugging and crying?”

“You should be grateful Peridot didn’t immediately poof you,” said Pearl.

“It was the right thing to do.” Steven smiled at Peridot, who beamed proudly.

Bismuth clapped her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, Crystal Gems, here’s the plan. When Peridot’s ready, and has the tracker and unbubbler attached to her gem, we bubble her and hand her off to 2PK. We’ll put a surveiller on 2PK, and Pearl and I will be following at a distance as she goes to the designated meeting spot with Dottie.”

“If you try anything…” Amethyst summoned her whip and pulled it taut, gesturing at 2PK.

“How stupid do you think I am?” 

“Focus!” Bismuth resumed her explanation. “The rest of you will prepare at the warp pad. We’ll warp to the colony either as soon as Pearl and I get there. If we’re not at the warp pad in twenty minutes, Steven and Connie will try to find us at the meeting spot while Amethyst and Garnet go ahead. We’ll have thirty minutes from bubbling Peridot to when her bubble pops. We’ll want to make sure we’re at the colony when it does, so we can begin tracking her immediately. Any questions?”

“Yeah, I have a question. Do you all have a death wish or something?” said 2PK.

“Ugh, I’m gonna have to free her from the metal before… you know,” said Peridot. She unwrapped the metal sheets containing 2PK, as Amethyst scooted closer and Garnet took up a spot near her. 2PK glared at them as she stretched her limbs, her angry scowl barely covering her obviously intense fear.

With that taken care of, Peridot busied herself attaching the tiny, hopefully unnoticeable tracker and unbubbler to the side of her gemstone. She pulled the destabilizer 2PK had been using out of her gem. “So… who wants to poof me?” she said with forced cheerfulness. “I know some of you have wanted to before. Don’t pretend like you haven’t.”

“Give it to me, I’ll do it!” 2PK volunteered.

“I’d be a little more friendly to someone who stuck out their neck to give you another chance,” Garnet admonished, causing 2PK to look at her feet.

“I’ll do it,” said Bismuth, taking the destabilizer from Peridot. “If that’s all right with you.”

“Okay,” said Peridot, her voice wavering.

“You have everything you need? Your weapons, your extra trackers?”

Peridot nodded. “Yeah. Make it quick.”

Bismuth switched the destabilizer on, and hesitated. She had poofed hundreds, if not thousands, of Gems during the rebellion -- but there was a big difference between poofing Gems in the heat of battle and destabilizing your good friend with the intent of sending her into danger. “You sure about this, Peri?” she said, a small part of her hoping she wouldn’t have to go through with it. “Last chance to turn back.”

Peridot looked up at her, smiling sadly. “I’ll say hi to Lapis and Zircs for you, okay?”

“Okay, do that,” said Bismuth, hoping it wasn’t obvious that she was tearing up. She braced herself as best she could and touched the destabilizer to Peridot. Peridot’s eyes went wide and she made a small, distressed noise as her form dissipated. Bismuth caught her gemstone in her hand before it hit the ground.

Six sets of wary eyes were on 2PK as Bismuth handed over Peridot’s gem. 2PK immediately bubbled it without a fuss. Bismuth was relieved to see that the tiny machines Peridot had attached to her gem were difficult to see behind the neon green. 

“I’ll need my limb enhancers,” said 2PK.

“What? No way!” said Amethyst.

“Dottie will immediately know there’s something wrong if I show up without my limb enhancers!” 

“Fine,” said Bismuth, retrieving them from where Peridot had dumped them in a corner. She stood before 2PK, who was now surrounded on three sides by powerful Gems. “2PK, before I give you these, there’s something I want you to know.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t try anything.” She rolled her eyes.

“No, you already know that. At least I sure hope you do.” Kneeling down, Bismuth put a hand on 2PK’s shoulder and looked her straight in the eye. “I know you don’t think we’re honest about giving you a chance. I can see it all over your face. But if you do this -- if you hand off Peridot safely and help us get our friends back safe and sound -- I promise you that I’ll do my best to make sure you’re welcomed into Little Homeworld as family.”

2PK blinked, and an unreadable emotion crossed her face before settling back into her characteristic scowl. “I don’t want a family. I just want to be left alone.”

Bismuth shrugged, shaking her head. “Well, that’s fine, too. Whatever you decide. Just do the right thing here.”

“The right thing, huh?” 2PK looked skeptical. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Let’s move out before Peri’s bubble pops,” said Bismuth, dumping the limb enhancers in front of 2PK, who hastily put them on.

* * *

“What took you so long?”

“Wasn’t aware I was being timed.”

Bismuth was watching the exchange between 2PK and Dottie on her phone, using the surveiller they had attached to 2PK. The meeting place was in the woods on the outskirts of Little Homeworld, and Bismuth had had to stay a fair ways back -- she wasn’t at all able to move through the trees and brush without making significant noise. Pearl had been able to get closer, slipping behind a tree only feet away from the two Peridots.

Dottie narrowed her eyes. “That’s only one bubble. Where’s the builder?”

“Wasn’t there. Couldn’t find her.”

“You couldn’t find her?!” Dottie seemed surprised and skeptical. “She was at the forge last time I looked, along with 5XG.”

“Well, neither of them were at the forge when I went there. 5XG was in her little hideout, but the builder was nowhere to be found.” 

Bismuth felt her nerves spike as 2PK shoved the bubble containing Peridot at Dottie.

“Here, take this one at least. I’ll go out looking for Bismuth.”

“You know it won’t look good if you can’t fulfill the mission.”

“When have I ever looked good?”

“I mean it, 2PK! You’re on dangerous ground with our Agate.”

“I’ve _always_ been --”

“You need to get with the program!” Dottie yelled at 2PK. She was _still_ holding Peridot’s bubble, which was making Bismuth increasingly uneasy. “Gems like us need to know our place! It is a _privilege_ to do missions for our Agate. If you don’t realize that soon, I can’t keep protecting you.”

2PK scowled. “I remember when _I_ used to protect _you_.”

“I know. That’s why I don’t want to see you get harvested.” Dottie finally, _finally_ tapped Peridot’s bubble to send her off. “Look, let’s just --”

Dottie’s gem fell softly into the grass of the forest clearing, Pearl’s spear sticking into the ground a few feet nearby. 2PK barely flinched. She remained standing there, staring at the spot where Dottie was, as Pearl emerged from her hiding place and picked up her spear and the green gemstone. 

Bismuth walked up to the clearing, too, no longer needing to attempt to move quietly. She put a hand on 2PK’s shoulder. “C’mon, we need to go back to Little Homeworld. We’re going to put you in the custody of some Quartzes for now.”

“Why haven’t you done it?” asked 2PK. “Poof me. I did what you wanted. I betrayed my co-worker, betrayed my Agate, sent your Peridot off to probably die like you demanded. I’m useless. Get rid of me.”

“We’re not going to do that unless we have to,” said Pearl. “We really are serious about giving Gems second chances.”

2PK looked skeptical. “What are you going to do with Dottie, then?”

“She’ll have a fair trial.”

“Hm. Doubt any defense Zircon’s gonna want to argue her case after what she did to one of their own.”

“We’ll just have to cross that bridge when we get to it,” said Bismuth, gently herding 2PK back towards Little Homeworld. 2PK put up no resistance, the fight seemingly gone out of her. Bismuth didn’t entirely trust that -- she’d had enough experience with captured soldiers who pretended to have given up.

They were nearly back to town when 2PK finally broke the silence. “This is worse. That’s why you’re doing this, isn’t it?”

“What’s worse?” asked Bismuth.

“Keeping me conscious instead of just bubbling me. Forcing me to think about what I’ve done.”

“You did the right thing.”

“Yeah, tell that to Dottie when you shatter her.”

“We’re not going to --”

“Save it. I know what she did. I know what she is. A defective Gem who committed treason, right? If you knew… she never really had a chance, not with the way my Agate treated her.”

“How was that?” asked Pearl.

“If I tell you, will it make a difference? If you were actually willing to show mercy, you’d have poofed me already.”

Bismuth and Pearl exchanged a look. “We’re not doing it to torment you,” said Pearl. “There’s no need to poof you if you’re cooperating.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized what she was saying.

“Oh, right! Duh!” 2PK immediately began charging her laser.

Bismuth instinctively shifted her hand into a blade. The laser energy dissipated as 2PK’s limb enhancers clattered to the ground.

“Wrong thing to say, Pearl.”

Pearl sighed. “I know. I wasn’t thinking.” She shook her head, picking up 2PK’s gem and bubbling it, looking down at the two gems in her hands. “It’s probably for the best, anyway. We don’t have time to deal with her right now.”

“Steven’s gonna want to reform her, you know.”

“Of course he is. Just like his mother.” Pearl smiled fondly. “Well, unless…”

“Unless what?”

“Garnet seemed to think that Peridot might not make it out,” said Pearl. “And then there’s the question of if she can rescue Lapis and Zircon in time. If something happens to them, I don’t know how Steven’s going to react.”

“Pearl, I don’t know how _I’m_ going to react.” She couldn’t imagine Little Homeworld without her friends stopping by her forge, blowing up her phone with group chat, and spilling all their problems and gossip.

Soon, Peridot would be emerging into a hostile base. Bismuth knew how determined she was and that she would stop at nothing to protect her closest friends -- and that potentially extended into taking too many risks and not protecting _herself._

If any of her friends ended up permanently harmed, she hoped that they kept the two Peridots far away from her, because she didn’t trust herself to wait for justice and not take revenge into her own hands -- even if 2PK did help them in the end. 

“Peridot’s a lot tougher than you’d expect,” said Bismuth, trying to reassure herself more than Pearl. “She’ll make it. They’ll all make it. They’re Crystal Gems.” 

They rounded the corner, warp pad coming into sight. Connie and Steven were sitting atop Lion and chatting with Garnet and Amethyst, all of them looking extremely tense. She saw Connie spot them and point.

Ten minutes until Peridot’s bubble popped.

* * *

“Welcome to Yellow 82, my Diamond!” A Silver Pearl ran up to the warp pad as soon as they arrived, visibly nervous. “What brings you to our colony today?”

Yellow 82 resembled most of the smaller Gem colonies. The warp pad was surrounded by various nondescript structures, most several stories with a glass dome on top. In front of them, a path led out of the central hub and directly into a kindergarten. Idle injectors were visible in the distance. There was not a single trace of organic life among the rusty rocks and cliffs.

“Hi!” said Steven, with a frighteningly cheerful wave. “We’re looking for a Lapis Lazuli and a Blue Zircon. We think they may have been taken here by accident. Have you seen any Gems like that?”

Silver Pearl’s pupils narrowed to pinpricks as a bead of sweat ran down the pearl on her cheek. “I don’t think I’ve seen any Gems matching those descriptions here. Why don’t I go check?” She turned and dashed into a nearby building.

“Incoming,” said Garnet, calmly. Without missing a beat, she turned and dashed towards an Amethyst as she emerged from one of the buildings, poofing her before the hostile Gem even had a chance to take in the scene.

Bismuth turned to see a small Ruby squad charging up to the group on the warp pad. Perhaps it was inappropriate under the circumstances, but she couldn’t help but smile. After everything that had happened in the past few days, busting up some Gems was exactly what she was in the mood for. She charged fearlessly into the Ruby squad, her hands shifting into hammers, scattering the group as several gemstones fell into the dust.

“Bis! Watch out!” Bismuth felt several Rubies piling onto her back and grabbing at her shoulders and arms, trying to take her down. Just as quickly, the weight of the Rubies dissipated as spears flew by, Pearl running up to her side. 

“Like the old days?” Pearl held out her hand. Her face was shining, and Bismuth could tell that Pearl was enjoying herself too. 

Bismuth eagerly took her hand. “Yeah! Let’s rock!” As though they hadn’t missed a beat from five thousand years ago, she spun Pearl around and dipped her low before lifting her into the air above her head. Their gems glowed, and Bismuth could feel Pearl’s bravery, her precision, her elegance, her affection for her friends.

The glow subsided, revealing a deep green Gem with a black leather jacket and magenta jeans. Seconds after forming, she dramatically pulled an enormous electric bass from her chest Gem, smashing it across the face of an Amethyst gunning for her.

She quickly took in the scene. Stevonnie was riding Lion through the thick of a Quartz squadron, throwing up spiked walls and slicing through stragglers with their sword. Garnet was locked in combat with a several story high fused Ruby. 

Nearby, a particularly large Cherry Quartz taunted Amethyst. “What is wrong with _you?_ Why’d they even let you out of your colony?”

Amethyst rolled her eyes, and responded by catching her opponent’s ankles with her whip and flinging her into a wall. “Whoa!” she said, catching sight of Serpentine. “Looking good!”

“Thanks!” said Serpentine, smashing her bass into the Cherry Quartz’s head as she struggled to stand up.

“Hey, is everyone fused but me? Not cool!” asked Amethyst as Stevonnie rode by.

Garnet bubbled the last of the Rubies she had been fighting, having dispatched them while Amethyst was busy. “We could fuse.”

Stars filled Amethyst’s eyes as she shrieked happily. “Really? Yes!”

The ground below Serpentine’s feet shook as Sugilite formed, smashing her flail into one of the glass domes and shattering it. Rubies, two Nephrites and one terrified Selenite fled from the building wreckage.

A sharp cry drew Serpentine’s attention. Stevonnie was skidding across the dirt, a Citrine with a nasty looking machete bearing down on them. Serpentine felt the combined protectiveness of their components kicking in hard as they instinctively lept between Stevonnie and the blade, catching it with their bass. The strings split as the machete cut most of the way through the instrument. With the machete stuck in the bass, Serpentine used it to pull the Citrine closer and deliver a solid kick to her chest. As the Citrine stumbled, Stevonnie sprang to their feet, standing at Serpentine’s back, and used their sword to dispatch an approaching Bixbite. 

Stevonnie ran across the battlefield, gathering up as many enemy Gems as they could, bubbling them and sending them back. They’d have to sort them out later. As the Crystal Gems thinned out the combatants, Serpentine noticed a couple of Rubies running rather than joining in the fight. There would be a _lot_ of cleanup needed at this colony later -- particularly sorting through which Gems were in charge and which were coerced, and the probably blurry distinctions between the two. There’d be a lot of trials. There’d be a lot of work for Zircon, assuming they got her back in one piece.

Sugilite took care of the last of the Quartzes with a swing of her flail that also took out part of a cliff face. She unfused into her components. “That seems to be all of them,” said Garnet.

“That was so awesome!” said Amethyst, twirling around in joy. 

With the battle over, Serpentine unfused as well. “That felt amazing,” said Bismuth, looking at Pearl fondly. “You’re just as good at fighting as I remembered.”

Pearl smiled. “So are you.”

A Selenite ran out of one of the intact buildings, hands in the air. They were scientist Gems, and although they could be fairly durable, they were not built for combat. “I surrender!” she called out, kneeling in front of Stevonnie. “Please don’t hurt me.”

“We’re not going to hurt you if you don’t hurt us,” said Stevonnie, carefully lowering their sword. “What do you think we should do with her?” she asked the group.

“Restrain her,” said Garnet.

“With what?”

“Restraints.” Garnet pulled two sets of cuffs from her sapphire.

Amethyst burst out giggling. “What do you have _those_ for, Garnet?” 

Garnet’s expression did not change. “For restraining.”

The Selenite put up no resistance as Garnet attached the cuffs to her wrists and ankles. “There. Now --”

“Ha!” called a voice from behind them. A Citrine grabbed Pearl from behind, pointing her machete directly at the pearl on her forehead. “Surrender or I’ll shatter her! I’ll do it!”

“Oh, _honestly._ ” Pearl rolled her eyes, and in the blink of an eye she slipped from the Citrine’s grasp and speared her through her midsection.

“Hey--!” The Citrine blinked, a surprised look on her face in the split second it took for her form to dissipate.

Bismuth scowled, turning on the Selenite. “Was your surrender just a distraction so your friend could get close?”

“No, I swear!” she said, sweat pouring off her. “You’re with the new Diamond, right?”

Stevonnie unfused, and Steven took a step forward. “Yeah, I actually _am_ the new Diamond.”

“My Diamond!” The Selenite’s arms twitched as she tried to do a salute before remembering she was restrained. “You probably won’t believe me, but they’re conducting terrible experiments here!”

“Yes, that’s exactly why we’re here,” said Pearl. “Do you know where they’re happening?”

“No, but they took my friend there. She’s another Selenite. They were forcing her to research some really awful things. She’s flawed, and my Agate said that if she refused, she’d be turned in as an off-color.” Her eyes were wild as she looked around the group. “You don’t shatter off-colors, right? That’s what I’ve heard, and you’re an organic, and you have this Amethyst…”

“I’m not an off-color, I’m just a short stack.” Amethyst crossed her arms.

“They took her to another lab. If you find her, please save her. She’s not a bad Gem.”

“We’ll try,” said Steven, kindness in his voice. 

“We need to find this secret lab first,” said Connie. “Bismuth, is the tracker up?”

Bismuth pulled out the tracking device Peridot had given her and flipped it on. It was a few minutes after Peridot’s bubble had been due to pop, and sure enough, there were three blips on the device -- each one representing the tracking devices Peridot had taken with her. “Three dots!” said Bismuth, raising the device up. “Peridot did it!”

The Crystal Gems cheered, Steven and Connie hugging while Amethyst held up her hand for Garnet to high five it. “We can use that signal to locate the lab, as well,” said Pearl.

“We’ll need a transport,” said Garnet to the Selenite.

She nodded nervously. “Over there, behind that building. There’s a bunch of sand ships you can use.”

“Good.” Garnet picked up the Selenite and threw her over her shoulder.

“What are you --?”

“I can bubble you if you’d rather.”

“No, no, this is fine.” The Selenite collapsed.

Bismuth fiddled with the device. The tracking spots were further from the colony than she’d like -- depending on how fast the sand ships sailed, it might take them thirty minutes or more to get there. But then, with Peridot and Lapis together, they’d probably be fine.

* * *

_“This mission is extremely dangerous,” said Garnet. “It’s our best chance at saving the Eighth Squadron, but the risk is great.”_

_“C’mon, the risk is always great,” said Poppy Jasper. “How’s that any different from normal?”_

_“I mean it, Poppy! There’s a chance that you don’t come back from this. I’ve seen it.”_

_Poppy looked momentarily disturbed before putting a reassuring hand on Garnet’s shoulder. “You know me. I’ll be careful. Promise.” She turned to Bismuth and grinned. “Ready to smash some Homeworld heads?”_

“Bis? You okay?”

Steven plopped down next to Bismuth on the sand ship, shaking her gently out of her memory. The sand ships were really nothing more than simple platforms with hover motors on the bottom, slower than they’d like and not built for comfort. 

“Sure!” said Bismuth, trying to put her last memory of Poppy out of her mind. Truthfully, she could barely remember her face. She had lost so many companions during the war that they all blurred together into a tangle of guilt. It didn’t do any good to start in on that now -- she had to be brave for everyone else.

“You don’t look okay.” 

Sometimes, there was just no dodging Steven.

“Well, you know, I’m just worried about the others. They’ll be fine, though! I believe in them,” she added hastily.

Steven looked away, not even slightly reassured. “Bis? Is this… my fault?”

“No!” she said, wide eyed. “Is this about what 2PK said? Because you really shouldn’t listen to her.”

“Not listening to Gems who were hurting is how we got into this trouble in the first place!” said Steven, exasperated. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I really don’t. I thought I was making things better, but if Gems are still suffering, have I really?”

“Yes. Yes, you have.” Bismuth put a comforting arm around Steven. “No one expects you to --”

“No one expects me to have fixed everything in a couple years. Yeah, I know, everyone keeps saying that. But how long are these Gems gonna have to wait? We were clearly too late when it came to this colony. I didn’t even know there was a problem I needed to solve! How many more colonies that I thought were fine are actually like this? What if I _never_ find them all?”

“Steven, you won’t find all the problems. You’re not going to save everybody. No one can do that.”

“So, what, I’m just supposed to accept that?” 

“No, I know you can’t accept that.”

“So… what?” Steven was giving Bismuth a confused and irritated look.

“Well, I guess if you can’t save everyone, and you can’t accept leaving people behind, there’s only one option left. You keep fighting.”

“Forever?”

“Not _exactly_ forever. We all need to take a break sometimes, especially humans that have to eat and sleep. But other than that, yeah, forever.”

Steven crumpled over. She wasn’t quite used to reading the faces of humans, yet, but even she could tell how tired he was. “I don’t know if I can do this forever, Bis. I just want everyone to be safe.” He looked up at her. “How did you do it, during the rebellion? It took five hundred years, right? How could you take everyone being in danger for five hundred years?”

“Well, Steven, I let my pain and anger eat away at me so much I created a terrible weapon and ended up in a bubble.”

“Oh,” said Steven. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“No, don’t be. You have a right to know. War changed me, and it’s gonna change you. I hope you handle it better than I did.”

“The war’s supposed to be over, though.”

“The war’s not ever gonna be over. As long as there’s Gems, there’s gonna be Gems who want to use their power to abuse other Gems.” Bismuth ruffled Steven’s hair fondly. “The good news is that you’re not gonna be alone in this fight. There’s too many Gems who care about you.”

“Not if I keep getting them hurt,” said Steven.

“Steven, _you_ didn’t get them hurt. We all knew the risks.”

“Really?”

“Do you know how much we’ve all talked about this? We’re all free to leave, and we all choose to stay. You know why I think that is?”

“Why?”

“Because we all have each other’s backs, and fighting together is better than being alone.”

“I guess,” said Steven, seemingly unconvinced. “That’s not really gonna make me feel better if something happens to Peri, Lapis, and Zircs.”

“Well, that’s why we’re coming for them,” said Bismuth. She pulled out the tracker and took a look.

There was only one dot on the tracker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this tale of Bismuth kicking some ass.


	14. Zircon Attempts to Kick Some Ass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with my stress-fueled hiatus.

Thirty minutes.

Peridot had thirty minutes before the bubble popped, assuming her device operated as she expected, and she had no reason to think it wouldn’t. 

(But what if it didn’t? What if Dottie sent her bubble somewhere unexpected? What if she was never found?)

Thirty minutes was enough time to make some changes to her form. She wanted to make sure she looked good for when she found Lapis, after all.

(What if she didn’t find Lapis? What if she was too late? What if they were torturing her? What if Lapis hated her?)

A green hoodie with a star on it. A tank top underneath. Star leggings with a small skirt on top -- an echo of Lapis’ old skirt, which she secretly missed.

Peridot was glad she had spent so much time designing a new appearance for herself when working on her experimental Rejuvenator, because she could barely concentrate on it now. The urgency of the situation made working on her new outfit seem utterly pointless. She didn’t even bother changing her hair.

Then again, fiddling with her outfit at least provided some welcome distraction. If she thought too hard about what she was doing and what kind of situation her friends were in, she might not be able to keep herself from panicking. Ideally, she would find Zircon, and Zircon could handle the panicking so Peridot could keep a clear head.

(Wasn’t it her fault Zircs had been kidnapped in the first place?)

Fifteen… minutes…? She had lost track of time. Being bubbled tended to do that to you. The longer your gem was in stasis, the more your conscious thoughts would start to slip away.

(What if it all went wrong? What if no one came to Lapis’ rescue?)

The bubble popping took her by surprise. For one split second, Peridot’s consciousness was evenly split between her despairing thoughts, the mental image of Bismuth tapping her with the destabilizer back in her lair, and a dimly lit room filled with sparkling, bubbled gemstones. As she slowly blinked, the first two washed away as her form adjusted to its new reality.

She dared not move or make a sound just in case there were hostile Gems in the room -- even though, if there were, it was unlikely that they somehow would have missed Peridot’s brightly glowing form as she regenerated. When she was satisfied that she was alone, she lit up her gemstone and swept the light around the room.

There was no question that she had arrived in the place the saboteurs habitually deposited kidnapped Gems. The number and diversity of bubbled gemstones floating near the ceiling shocked her. There were at least a dozen Peridots, a handful of Rubies, some Quartzes, a Nephrite, and three Selenites grouped together -- a surprising amount of middle caste Gems. Peridot would have assumed some Homeworld bean counters would notice three Selenites going missing. The Agate must have some friends in high places.

Peridot stopped her light on a rectangular blue gemstone surrounded by a bright green bubble. She allowed herself a small measure of relief. If she hadn’t been able to find Zircon, she would never have been able to forgive herself. 

And if Zircon was here, did that mean Lapis…?

She swept her light over every bubble in the room multiple times, shining it into the corners and along the edges. There were no teardrop-shaped Gems, not even any blue Gems apart from Zircon. The momentary relief she had felt dissipated into panic and anger. There was no doubt about it -- Lapis wasn’t here. Chances were that she _had_ been here, and they had taken her to --

No time to dwell on it. She had to get moving.

She pulled a small metal blade from her gem, preparing to use it to pop Zircon’s bubble -- then hesitated. Would her friend really be all that useful behind enemy lines, and in likely combat situations? Shouldn’t Peridot just tap her bubble and send her back to Little Homeworld? Would Zircs even _want_ to be here, when she could be safely out of the way?

On the other hand, even if Zircon wasn’t the greatest choice of Gems for infiltrating a secret base, having a partner watch her back couldn’t hurt. If Peridot were being honest with herself, she didn’t really want to face this task alone if she didn’t need to.

Besides, Garnet had said to trust her friends, right?

Peridot popped the bubble.

The Zircon inside the bubble reformed, cowering on the ground. She was wearing a blazer and a tie, had round silver glasses instead of a monocle, and had her hair tied back in a bun. For a split second, Peridot thought she had accidentally released a total stranger -- until she noticed the silver star adorning her tie.

Zircon opened her eyes. “Peri?”

“Zircs?”

Zircon blinked, looking as though she couldn’t decide what to say. “Did you get your memories back?”

“You put a star on your tie! You’re wearing a star!”

Large, watery tears had formed at the corner of Zircon’s eyes. Before Peridot could even register what was happening, Zircon had scooped her up into a hug and was holding on for dear life. Peridot, stunned, realized that she couldn’t think of a single other instance where her uptight friend had actually _initiated_ a hug.

“You found me! You actually found me!” Zircon sobbed. “I thought I was going to be bubbled forever -- or shattered, or jettisoned into space, or wake up thousands of years in the future where Era 3 has collapsed, or be harvested, or --”

“Of course I found you!” said Peridot, returning the hug with as much reassurance as she could muster given the current situation. “Did you really think we weren’t going to come rescue you?”

“Yes!” said Zircon with all sincerity. “Kidnappings rarely get solved and...”

Peridot grinned. “Bet you never thought you’d be _this_ happy to see me, huh?”

“Perhaps not,” said Zircon, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Thank you for rescuing me.”

“Well…” said Peridot, with considerable anxiety. “We’re not exactly rescued yet.”

“Oh.” Zircon suddenly took notice of her surroundings. “At the risk of asking a question I won’t like the answer to, where are we?”

Peridot shifted her feet around, fidgeting nervously. “So… we’re in that Iris Agate’s secret base, I think.”

“We’re _where?_ Oh, stars, of course we are, where else would Dottie have sent my bubble?” Panic was rising in Zircon’s eyes. “How did _you_ get here?”

“I got 2PK to fake-kidnap me.”

“You _what?”_

“It’s not as crazy as it sounds! 2PK agreed to do it in exchange for a second chance. I think she means it, too! I totally Stevened her! And the other Crystal Gems were watching to make sure she gave my bubble to Dottie, so I’d end up in the right place. And it worked!” Peridot’s satisfaction at her plan’s partial success was doing little to stop the increasingly distressed look on Zircon’s face. 

“Peri, that’s… that’s _ludicrous,_ you let yourself be poofed and bubbled and taken by a hostile Gem…”

“I had to! They kidnapped you! And then I found out they took Lapis…”

“Lapis, too?!”

“Yeah, and she’s not here,” said Peridot, indicating the bubbles filling the room. “2PK said they’re going to experiment on her. They’re working on a modified Rejuvenator that suppresses positive memories and amplifies negative ones.”

Zircon’s eyes widened. “That… sounds bad. That’s very, very bad.”

“I have to find her.” Peridot was banking on sheer determination keeping her from melting into a ball of terror. 

“So…” Zircon fidgeted with her new glasses. “Outside that door is a secret base full of hostile Gems performing highly unethical experiments. If they capture us, they will at best poof and bubble us, and at worst subject us to those same terrifying experiments.”

“I know it’s dangerous. You don’t have to come with me. You could stay here and --”

“What? No. Of course I’m coming with you.”

Peridot raised a skeptical eyebrow. “I’m going to be attempting to infiltrate a secret base full of Gems that hate us. Are you sure you won’t freak out?”

“Well, I can’t promise that!” Zircon threw up her hands in exasperation. “Knowing you’re out there trying to rescue Lapis, I’m going to be terrified either way. At least if I go with you, I won’t also feel guilty for letting you do this alone.” She put a hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “I don’t know if I’ll be useful, but please, let me help.”

Peridot considered for a minute before smiling up at her friend. “Okay. But if you let me nearly get you killed again, I’m going to be so upset with both of us.” She could see the gears turning as Zircon attempted to parse this. “Now let’s go rescue my girlfriend!”

“Girlfriend?” Zircon’s hand went to her forehead. “Are you serious?”

Peridot couldn’t stop herself from becoming momentarily distracted. “Yes! That’s right, you don’t know yet.”

“No, it seems I was busy being kidnapped.”

“Lapis and I are --” Peridot punctuated her statement with a dramatic arm sweep. “-- an _item.”_

“An item? That’s good, right? Also, how long was I in that bubble?”

“Half a day, maybe.”

“Oh, thank the stars it wasn’t hundreds of years.”

Peridot couldn’t stop herself from being momentarily lovestruck. “Lapis kissed me, Zircs! And I kissed her back! And she restored my memories with the power of love!” 

“Like when Zora saved Ellie on _Special Vampire Unit?”_

“Yes! Like that! Exactly like that!”

“I’m really happy for you, Peri! I knew you could do it. But also, we’re probably going to end up captured again if we don’t get moving.”

“Yes! Right.” Peridot snapped back to seriousness. 

“So…” Zircon toyed nervously with her new tie. “Do you have any idea where Lapis is being kept, or any kind of plan…?”

“Rescue Lapis. That’s the plan.”

“Of course it is,” said Zircon, sweat beading on her forehead. “Hold on, do you hear --”

They both stood completely still and quiet as the unmistakable sound of footsteps on metal drew near and stopped in front of the door to the room. Zircon clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle a noise as Peridot drew a metal blade from her gemstone.

The Ruby hummed a cheerful tune as she entered, only to stop dead in her tracks. “Who are you? How did you get in here?”

“We’re --” Peridot readed her blade, trying to decide quickly whether to simply poof the Ruby or to try and get information out of her.

“We’re the bubble inspectors!” said Zircon suddenly, prompting both Peridot and Ruby to look at her in surprise.

“Bubble inspectors…?” said the Ruby, confused.

“Yes! We, ah, conduct routine inspections of rooms where bubbled Gems are stored, to ensure they conform to safety standards. Right, assistant?”

Peridot glared, but decided to roll with it. “Yes, that’s… exactly what we do. We’re bubble inspectors, certified in bubble inspection, here to inspect your bubbles.”

The Ruby glanced between them. “Huh?”

“I have to tell you, I’m seeing a _lot_ of problems here.” Zircon pulled a screen from her glasses and began checking down a list. From Peridot’s point of view, she could see that it was actually just Zircon’s to-do list. “You’re violating at least three major principles of bubble safety. Your Agate is not going to be happy when she hears --”

“Wait, no!” Pure fear was written on the Ruby’s face. “Don’t tell my Agate, please! What do I need to do?”

“Well, first you have to -- to --” Zircon stalled for time by pretending to read her list.

“The bubbles are too close together!” Peridot chimed in. “They need to be at least a foot apart!”

“Yes, that’s right!” Zircon agreed. “It’s very unsafe to have them so close. What would happen if you tried to release this Nephrite but ended up hitting this Peridot by mistake?”

“That makes sense…” said the Ruby.

“And furthermore, you should keep all the Gems separated by type to… um… to make them easier to inventory!” Zircon pretend-scribbled something on her screen. “You _do_ routinely inventory your bubbled Gems, don’t you?”

The poor Ruby scrambled for words. “I… uh… of course I inventory the bubbles! I do that all the time! No need to tell my Agate that I’m not doing that all the time!”

“Hm,” said Peridot, narrowing her eyes. “If you say so.”

“What else do I need to do?”

Peridot and Zircon glanced at each other. “Well, is there… is there any other location in this facility where you’re keeping bubbled Gems?” said Zircon.

“No…” said the Ruby, thinking hard. “Well, there are probably some in the lab, but I don’t think you’d be allowed in there. Even I’m not allowed in there.”

“We’ll see about that. We do have to inspect _all_ the bubbled Gems, you know. So where is this lab?”

“Oh, uh, you want to turn right out of this room. Wait, no. Left.” The Ruby was making hand gestures in an effort to visualize the layout of the base. “Go left, then turn right at the first hall. The lab is behind the double doors with the keypad on them. You’ll need access.” 

“Left, first right, double doors, keypad,” repeated Peridot. That was probably all the useful information they were going to get out of the Ruby. She turned around, pretending to look up at the bubbles, fidgeting with the metal blade she had kept hidden in her hand.

“My Agate could probably get you access.” She shifted around as though she were terrified her Agate was somehow right behind her. “You’ll tell her I’m doing a good job, right?”

“Well, I don’t know,” said Zircon uneasily. “Perhaps if you fix the violations before --” She made a sharp, surprised noise as the metal sped through the air and lodged itself into the Ruby’s chest. 

“Uh. Hey. This isn’t part of the inspec--” The Ruby seemed more confused than upset in the split second before she poofed. Zircon made an unsuccessful attempt to catch the falling gemstone, but it slipped through her fingers and clattered to the ground.

“Was that necessary?” said Zircon as Peridot bubbled the Ruby.

“Well, what _else_ were we supposed to do with her? We got the information we needed, right? Also… bubble inspectors?” She raised an amused eyebrow at Zircon.

“It was the first thing I could think of! It worked, didn’t it?”

“It did. I’m just surprised you came up with that.”

“Rubies are the most common witnesses to crime scenes. Tricking them for information is basically in my job description.” Zircon crossed her arms. “It isn’t the first time I’ve had to fudge qualifications.”

“Did that ever work?” asked Peridot dubiously.

Zircon gestured to the Ruby in the bubble.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess it does.” Peridot tossed the bubble gently upwards, where it went to rest among a group of other bubbled Rubies.

“Maybe this isn’t the time, but… are we going to do anything about all these bubbled Gems?”

“It’s probably too risky to free them. We have no idea why they were bubbled in the first place. I could teleport them, but then there’d be a ton of strange Gems in my lair.” Peridot did feel uneasy about leaving the bubbles behind, as there was little doubt they were mostly innocent victims. “Wait. I’ve got it.” She pulled two of her three extra trackers from her gemstone, attaching one discreetly to the bottom of a wall. “I’ll put this tracker down here so we know where they are. When the other Crystal Gems come to rescue us, maybe they can help us figure out what to do with these bubbles.”

“The other Crystal Gems are coming to rescue us?” Zircon blinked in surprise. “Why didn’t you mention that sooner?”

“I did! Remember, I said the Crystal Gems were making sure my fake kidnapping wasn’t a real kidnapping? They’re supposed to be on their way right now. Also, Bismuth says hi.”

“That’s a relief. I’m glad you didn’t try to carry out this plan all by yourself.”

“Of course I wouldn’t!”

Zircon’s eyes narrowed. “Bismuth talked you out of that, didn’t she?”

“...maybe. Here, you should put a tracker on too.”

Zircon accepted the tracker, attaching it to her gemstone. “So if the rest of the Crystal Gems know about this plan, Garnet must have seen how it turns out. Did she say anything?”

Peridot froze. Telling her easily startled friend that Garnet had seen the possibility that the mission would fail was an objectively terrible idea.

On the other hand, Garnet had literally told her that her life depends on trusting her friends.

“Peri? Peri, your silence is not reassuring.”

“Garnet…” Peridot weighed her options in her mind, before deciding she had no choice. “Garnet saw a possibility that we might fail. A small possibility! _Unlikely_ was the word she used.”

“Oh. That’s great!” Zircon, by all appearances, seemed to be sincere in this proclamation.

“I know it’s alarming but -- what? How is that great?”

“You said a small possibility, right? I was previously operating on the assumption that there was a _very large_ possibility that we wouldn’t be making it out of here.”

“I… yeah, okay,” said Peridot. “She told me to trust my friends.”

“Trust your friends?” asked Zircon. “Just, as general life advice, or…”

“Trust my friends or I might not make it out of this, whatever _that_ means.”

“Oh. Well.” A sweat bead appeared on Zircon’s forehead. “I suppose I’ll do my best to be trustworthy, in that case.”

“Don’t worry, you have been,” said Peridot. She looked at the door apprehensively. “Now that we know where we’re going, let’s go. Hopefully we won’t run into any trouble. You don’t have any kind of weapon, do you?”

“Of course I don’t.”

“Nothing, really? You don’t even keep anything stored in your gem to use as a weapon in an emergency?”

Zircon thought for a moment, clearly rummaging through her gemstone in her mind. “I have a book?”

“...a book.”

“It’s a very large book.”

Peridot facepalmed. “When we get back, remind me to make you some kind of weapon. Or at least give you a blast cannon you can store in your gemstone.”

“I’m not putting a blast cannon in my gemstone!” said Zircon with considerable alarm. “What if it went off and I was shattered from the inside?”

“That’s not how it… you know what? Never mind. Let’s just go.”

Peridot slid open the door and peered around at the sterile blue hallways. No Gems in sight, and no noises other than the distant sound of some kind of generator. She flattened herself against the wall, beckoning her friend to follow.

“Why are you doing that?” Zircon whispered as Peridot shuffled along with her back against the wall. “There’s nowhere to hide in these hallways. They’d see you no matter what.”

“It makes me feel more stealthy,” Peridot hissed.

“Fine.” Zircon relented and squished herself against the wall, following Peridot’s lead.

Peridot knew she was right, though. If any Gem were to happen to be in the hallways, they would be spotted immediately. Thankfully, the base seemed to be sparsely populated, and there were no unwanted obstacles between them and the keypad.

“I take it our plan is _not_ to go ask the Agate for permission?” said Zircon as Peridot examined the keypad.

“I think I can get in. It’s gonna take me a bit of time, though -- not even counting how long it will take the internal software to recompile once I make my additions. And it looks like they haven’t updated it in forever. This keypad is probably older than I am.” She muttered, scowling at the archaic keypad. “Watch my back while I do this, okay?”

“Sure!” she said, babbling nervously. “Back: watched. Why is the expression ‘watch your back,’ anyway, when in fact I’m doing the exact opposite? Literally watching your back would be counterpro--”

“Zircs, please.”

“Right. Sorry.”

Peridot pulled a toolkit from her gemstone and applied a self-invented applied microburst EMP device to the screws attaching the keypad to the wall, so that it wouldn’t set off an alarm when she removed it. Once she had it cracked open, she could download the device’s software from the port on the back and reverse compile it. She could hear Zircon fidget as the progress bar slowly filled.

“Are you okay?”

“Not really,” she admitted. “Are you?”

“No. I’m trying not to think about it too hard.” She glared at the progress. 32%. “I can’t believe this is taking so long. It’d be great if they updated their firmware at least once an Era.”

Zircon made a small, strangled noise.

By the time the progress bar was at 41%, Peridot’s ability to suppress her fear and guilt was starting to falter.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s hardly your fault that this base is running on archaic technology.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“Yes, I know.” Zircon sighed. “None of this is your fault.”

“Of course it is!” said Peridot, louder than she intended. Both Gems stared down the hall nervously, worried they might have been heard. “Of course it is,” Peridot repeated in a whisper. “I was the one experimenting with the Rejuvenator. I was the one who told Dottie about it. I was the one who thought having those two clods in Little Homeworld was a good idea in the first place!”

“Experimenting with the Rejuvenator wasn’t a good idea, no, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault that we got kidnapped.” Zircon shook her head sadly. “I always expected something like this to happen when I moved to Little Homeworld. If it hadn’t been this, it would’ve been something else.”

“How about nearly getting you killed, then? With the Robonoid?”

“That was sabotage, and I already told you I wasn’t mad!”

“And you got kidnapped because you were investigating all this. You’re not mad about that?”

Zircon sighed. “Yes, actually, I am mad about that. I’m upset that I didn’t figure it out in time, mostly because I wasted precious minutes having a nervous breakdown. If you must know, I’m particularly angry with myself for cowering on the floor in a useless heap when Dottie came to kidnap me.”

“You can’t seriously be blaming yourself for getting kidnapped.”

“If you can seriously blame yourself for a separatist plot against Little Homeworld then I most certainly can blame myself for getting kidnapped!”

“Fair point,” said Peridot. “I just wish I could’ve been there to protect you guys.”

“I know you would have if you could have.” She paused, then added, cautiously, “I’m sure Lapis knows that too. You know that, right?”

Peridot felt tears well up. “If they hurt her, I’ll never forgive myself, and she probably won’t forgive me either.”

“I think she would. I _know_ she would. Didn’t you say she restored your memories with the power of love?”

“I don’t think that’s gonna work this time.”

“My point is that she loves you, Peri. She isn’t going to blame you for this.”

“You say that, but what if they did something to her? Amplified her negative memories and suppressed her positive ones, like 2PK said? I might be lucky if she doesn’t try to kill me.”

“Well -- uh --” Zircon faltered. 

“She’ll only have bad memories of me. She probably won’t even let me get near her.”

Zircon sighed. “I don’t know, Peri. I honestly don’t know. But what I _do_ know is that if anyone can get through to her, it’s you.”

“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?”

“No. I mean it. You, and perhaps Steven, are the only Gems who could possibly do this.”

Peridot allowed herself a small smile. “Garnet did say it had to be me.”

“I’m not surprised,” said Zircon. “I do believe in you. And not just because you said we could literally be shattered if I don’t.”

“That’s at least somewhat reassuring.” 

“Wait, do you hear that?” They both stopped talking as the sound of footsteps grew nearer. An Amethyst passed by the short hallway where Peridot and Zircon were waiting for the interminably slow download.

A second later, the footsteps came back, and the Amethyst peered curiously down the hall. Peridot sent one of her metal blades flying at top speed, but the Amethyst ducked around the corner and it missed.

Peridot dropped her device on the ground and went running after the Amethyst, surrounded by a cloud of telekinetic blades. Zircon scrambled to her feet and followed. As Peridot rounded the corner, she saw the Amethyst activating something on the wall -- hopefully not an alarm. With no time to think twice, she unloaded her entire cloud of blades into the Amethyst, who poofed with an extremely surprised look on her face.

An ungraceful yelp caused Peridot to whip around. Another Amethyst was wielding a destabilizer, and Zircon had apparently just managed to block it with a huge, leatherbound book. “What is that? Who are you?” the Amethyst demanded. She didn’t get an answer to her questions, as Peridot quickly lifted her blades again and drove them home. Zircon collapsed to her knees.

“Nice job with the book,” said Peridot, as she bubbled the Amethyst.

Zircon made a distressed sound.

“I think I stopped her from sounding an alarm. C’mon, maybe my thing is done,” she said, pulling Zircon to her feet and back down the hallway.

* * *

The door slid shut behind them. The hallway looked exactly like the hallway they had come from, bright blue and sterile. The good news was that there were no other Gems in sight. The bad news was that there was a disconcerting number of doors, and both ends of the hall were T-shaped junctions leading to more corridors.

Zircon slumped over slightly. “What now?”

Peridot looked up and down the hall, hoping for any useful hint on where to proceed. The rooms were all numbered, but with no other identification on the outside, so no chance of a room clearly marked “Lapis Lazuli Captivity and Experimentation Laboratory.”

They _could_ just start trying every door.

She could already hear Zircon protesting that idea before she even said it out loud.

She closed her eyes and listened. 

“Peri…?”

“Shh!”

The base around them was absolutely quiet -- but she could just make out a soft noise. A scuffle, a groan? It was her only lead.

“I hear… something. Let’s figure out where the noise is coming from.”

“Shouldn’t we be staying _away_ from noises?”

“It could be Lapis!”

“It could be literally anything else!”

“Do you have a better idea?”

Zircon made three separate nervous hand gestures before relenting. “No.”

The noises became slightly louder as they approached one of the doors. Peridot readied one of her metal blades and gathered her courage before opening it.

The room’s back wall was lined with machinery and monitors. A table to the side held various loose equipment. In the center of the room was a metal chair. Peridot fought down a panic attack as she realized what she was seeing: another Peridot, sans limb enhancers, was strapped to the chair, several electrodes attached to the gemstone on her upper arm, the wires leading back to the machinery in the back. She thrashed weakly against the restraints, her glassy eyes looking forward and seeing nothing.

“Oh _stars,”_ said Zircon, softly.

Peridot used all of her mental fortitude to force herself to take a step forward. “Hello?” No response. “Don’t panic. We’re here to rescue you.” Her voice was shaking uncontrollably. Zircon was still frozen by the door.

The Peridot continued to stare straight ahead, not acknowledging the presence of the intruders. “No. No, no, no. I failed. I failed. I failed.”

“It’s going to be okay,” said Peridot. “We’re going to get you out.”

The Peridot thrashed a bit. “Who’s there? Don’t -- I can’t --”

“I --” Peridot faltered.

The Peridot in the chair was an Era 2 wearing a regulation uniform. Her gem placement, hairstyle and coloration were all quite different from Peridot’s original looks, but she still couldn’t help but see a reflection of herself. If she had been assigned to this colony by chance, this would’ve been her, and perhaps the near-feral Gem in the chair would have been settled happily in Little Homeworld.

And if the Agate’s plans had succeeded, then Peridot would have no doubt ended up here regardless.

“Peri?”

And she could _still_ end up here if she was caught.

And worst of all -- this had to be what they were doing to Lapis.

“Peridot!”

Peridot was brought back to reality by Zircon shaking her shoulder. 

“This isn't the right room. We have to go. We have to find Lapis,” said Peridot, trying to push the sense of impending dread from her mind. Compartmentalize, like when she was trapped on Earth with the Cluster screaming below her feet --

The Peridot made a quiet, whimpering sound. Zircon was looking back. “We can’t...”

Peridot relented. “No, we can’t. Let’s pull the electrodes off, at least.” The experimental subject struggled, a wild look on her face, as Peridot removed the electrodes from her gemstone. In addition to the electrodes, there was a thin black webbing partially covering it. Peridot carefully pulled at it, but it did not budge, and the other Peridot flinched away.

Zircon was looking at the restraints on the Peridot’s wrists. “I’m not sure how to release these. Peri, can you --”

The Peridot’s eyes suddenly snapped back into focus. “2PK? You’re here? I thought -- no, wait, you’re not her. You’re new.”

“You know 2PK?” asked Peridot, curious.

“It was my idea that the Peridots should always look out for each other. That’s why I’m here. To know my place. To know that I’m expendable and worthless.” Her voice was dull and lifeless.

“What are they doing to you?”

“You’re here to work on the machines and you don’t know what they do?”

“I’m not here to work. I’m here to rescue my girlfriend.”

“You _clod,_ ” the Peridot practically spit. “You absolute pebble. Peridots are for maintenance work. Anything else is a waste of time. If you keep that kind of attitude, you’re going to end up where I am, and you’ll deserve it, just like I did.”

“That’s horrible,” said Zircon. “How can you say something like that?”

“Who are _you,_ her supervisor?” said the Peridot, apparently noticing Zircon for the first time.

“She’s my friend,” said Peridot, testily.

“ _Friend?_ You think a Gem above you in the hierarchy is your _friend?_ If an upper Gem thinks you’re a useful tool, don’t delude yourself into thinking that’s friendship.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” hissed Peridot. “Zircs. The destabilizer.”

“What?!”

“The destabilizer. Let me have it.”

“Peri, are you sure?”

The Peridot laughed bitterly. “I see how it is.”

Peridot ignored her. “It’ll get her out of the restraints. We can send her back to Little Homeworld. Steven will know what to do.”

Zircon hesitated slightly before handing the destabilizer over. The yellow sparks were reflected in the brainwashed Peridot’s eyes. “I hope you fail,” she said. Peridot caught her gemstone before it fell to the ground, the strange black netting still encasing it. She bubbled it and sent it away.

For a long moment, she stared at the negative space where the bubble had been.

“Peridot… everyone genuinely cares about you. You know that, right?”

Peridot looked up at Zircon, whose expression was filled with concern. “Of course! She was brainwashed. And crazy! She has no idea.” She managed a smile, which didn’t seem to reassure Zircon much. “The machines in here might be connected into a wider network. Let me see if I can use them to help find Lapis.”

She handed Zircon the destabilizer and went to one of the terminals, which was displaying information about the experiment they had just disrupted, and began to rapidly skip through screens and menus to see if there was any useful information. 

Lapis loved her. Lapis loved her enough to _restore her memories._ She had even said that she didn’t care about caste. That Peridot didn’t even know her. 

She shouldn’t even think about it. She shouldn’t -- but here, deep in the heart of a hostile, secret base, with her anxiety running high and her morale running low, happier days seemed almost like a dream. It was as though holding Lapis close in the glade with the colorful trees had been something she had imagined to comfort herself, not something that had actually happened.

Zircon leaned against the wall, deep in thought and morose. Peridot hoped she wasn’t letting what the brainwashed Gem had said get to her. She hadn’t treated Peridot like a lower Gem since they had first met, even when she had lost her memories. Then again, she had her own insecurities about being useful.

“Hey, Zircs?”

Zircon looked up, haunted. “What if they do that to us, Peri? Erase our positive memories, brainwash us against each other? I know it’s selfish, and we have to go save Lapis, but it’s _terrifying._ We could end up like _her._ I’m sorry, I’m trying not to panic, I really am --”

Peridot tried and failed to fight down her own panic. “I’m scared, too.”

“What are we going to do?”

“Well…” said Peridot. “I had my memory erased, and it was terrifying, and lonely, but you guys saved me.”

“That was different than --”

“You said you’d be my friend even if I didn’t get my memories back. You meant that, right?”

Zircon looked indignant. “Of course I did!”

“So if they caught and brainwashed me, you’d still try to help me, right?”

“I confess I have trouble imagining a scenario where you get caught and I, somehow, escape, but if that did happen, then yes, absolutely.”

“And I’d be your friend even if they totally erase your memories and convince you I’m evil. I’d be like, ‘Zircs, you gotta stop being brainwashed so we can watch the next season of _Special Vampire Unit,’_ and you’d be like, ‘But Peri, I’m really busy fighting my own friends, I don’t have any time on my schedule,’ and I’d be like ‘Too bad, having your memory wiped isn’t going to get you out of critical friendship obligations’ and you’d be like ‘Okay, fiiiiine.’”

“That does seem plausible.”

“Right?” said Peridot, grinning.

“And if I need to restore your memories again, at least I have some experience in the matter,” said Zircon. “I do appreciate it, though. Knowing that you’d try to help me.”

“Well, I did drag you into this. I gotta drag you out again, right?” Peridot scrolled through the last list of records on the terminal. “I don’t think there’s anything useful here. We’re gonna have to move on.”

“At least we seem to be in the correct part of the facility,” said Zircon. “If Lapis is indeed -- well. If she’s here, she may be in a room nearby.”

“Yeah, let’s --” Their conversation was interrupted by the door sliding open. In the same split second, Peridot drew and readied her metal blades from her gemstone, Zircon turned on the destabilizer and held it in front of her defensively, and a strange gray Gem walked into the room and spotted them. She barely had enough time to get a completely bewildered expression on her face before Peridot pinned her to the wall by her lab coat.

“Who are you?” she cried out. 

Peridot had never seen a Gem quite like her, and even with her extensive knowledge of gemetics, it took her a moment to recognize her as a significantly off-color Selenite. “Quiet! We won’t hurt you, but if you don’t cooperate, my friend here will destabilize you.”

“I will?” said Zircon. “Oh. Yes! Yes, I will!” She tried to look fierce. It didn’t work.

“So? Why should I care if you destabilize me?”

Peridot hadn’t been expecting that. “Because… because we could shatter you!”

“You don’t look like shatterers.”

“You don’t know that!” said Zircon. “Some of the most notorious shatterers in the Gempire looked surprisingly innocent.”

“The fact of the matter is, I already know what my Agate is capable of if I betray her, and I have no reason to think that you two are capable of worse. So I’ll take my chances with you.” The Selenite slumped over, resigned.

Peridot and Zircon glanced at each other, unsure how to proceed. Peridot decided to use the next idea in her playbook: channeling Steven.

“Look, we just need information on where our friend is so we can rescue her and get out. If you help us, we can help you too. We can get you out. We’re friends with Steven -- I mean, Pink Diamond.”

The Selenite was confused. “There’s a _Pink_ Diamond?”

“How long have you been here?” said Zircon, shocked.

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed I’m an off-color,” said the Selenite, annoyed. “My particular flaw manifests in such a way to prevent me from forming long-term memories. So no, I don’t know how long I’ve been here. All that matters is that I’m able to do my job well enough to avoid being harvested.”

Peridot took a closer look at the trapezoidal gemstone on the Selenite’s cheek. There was a large flaw in it, and its placement and composition certainly backed up the Selenite’s claims. “How can you do your job if you don’t have memories?”

“I have short term memories, and I have notes. Extensive notes. Notes that are periodically reviewed by my Agate to make sure I haven’t entered anything inappropriate. I expect in a few days I won’t even know that you existed, which is one of several reasons why your claims that you can help me seem dubious at best.”

“So you have no personal memories, except for those your Agate allows you to retain through your notes?” Zircon asked thoughtfully.

“That’s the extent of it. Now you see why your threats --”

“The modified Rejuvenators, the brainwashing -- was this all based on _you?_ ”

“What are you talking about?”

Zircon paced back and forth, hands behind her back. “The Agate is trying to create a way to control Gems’ memories, so that they turn on their former loyalties, share her beliefs, and serve her unquestioningly. She’s already done that to you by controlling what you can keep in your notes. That could even be where she got the idea in the first place.”

“The Rejuvenator that removes positive memories and retains negative ones -- does the technology behind it bear any resemblance to your own flaw?” asked Peridot.

“Well, yes, but what are you driving at?”

“Don’t you see?” said Zircon. “She’s trying to make more Gems like you. Gems who can’t remember anything but what they’re told. Gems that don’t even remember a world outside of the one given to them. Perfect workers with no past and no future.”

“So what?” said the Selenite, fidgeting against the blades pinning her to the wall. “That’s how it’s supposed to be, isn’t it?”

“She’s experimented on you, hasn’t she? Or she’s had other Gems do it.” asked Peridot. “You wouldn’t even know if she had, because she’d just erase it from your notes.”

The Selenite’s brow furrowed. “Those blocks of data in my notes with no subject name attached to them -- oh, stars.”

“You have to let us get you out of here,” said Peridot, hopeful. “If you stay here, you’ll end up just like the other experimental subjects.”

The Selenite looked at Peridot, considering, before slumping over in defeat again. “You keep talking about getting out of here. To do what? To hide out somewhere? To run from my Agate for the rest of my miserable existence? I don’t even know what it’s like outside of this base.”

“While you were trapped in here, Era 2 ended,” Peridot explained. “The Diamonds made a proclamation that Gems are free and equal, now. I come from a colony of free Gems on the Earth. You’d have lots of friends, a safe place to live…”

“No one erasing your personal notes,” added Zircon.

“Free Gems? Earth? Do you realize how made up that sounds? Awfully easy to make promises to a Gem with memory problems, isn’t it? You could get what you need and leave me here to be punished, and in a few days I’d never know you existed.”

“We wouldn’t do that,” Zircon protested.

“Selenite… do you ever get static?”

“What?” Selenite recoiled in shock.

“It’s like a mental static. When I had my memories erased, I would get these bursts of static with weird bits of memories attached.”

“...I’ve been trying to figure out how to suppress those.”

Peridot remembered that that had been her initial impulse, too. It seemed easier to remove the source of pain and confusion than to grapple with what she had lost. “Those are your only memories of a time before this, aren’t they? There must be something important to you.”

Tears formed at the corner of Selenite’s eyes. “I don’t think I’ve even ever told anyone about them. I haven’t even tried to write it down, because I knew my Agate would use it against me. Or maybe I _did_ write it down, and she _did_ use it against me, and she erased the evidence.”

“You don’t have to tell me what it is. I’m not trying to use it against you. But just the fact that you have at least that one memory -- that’s something on the outside that was important to you, right?”

The Selenite shook her head. “She’s probably been harvested.”

“She?” said Zircon.

“Yes. She.” The Selenite, resigned, turned to Peridot. “I’m only telling you this because I never expected any other Gem to understand, but -- sometimes I get a sensation like a burst of static, and I can see her, plain as day. She’s another Selenite, a properly cut one, probably someone I used to work with. And every time it happens I feel empty, like I’m missing something important, like trying to stand up from your chair and realizing your left leg is gone. I don’t even know who she was to me, or if she still exists.”

“I’ll find her!” Peridot declared.

“Sure,” said the Selenite, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Easy for you to say.”

“I mean it! I have someone like that for me. When she left, I had no idea what to do with myself. So I understand! And I’m really good at solving problems. Right, Zircs?”

“Uh… yes! I suppose so.” Zircon was cleaning her new glasses on her new blazer.

The Selenite sighed. “I would have to be cracked to trust all this. You realize that, right?”

Zircon settled her glasses back on her face. “I think you’d have to be cracked to want to stay here for the rest of your days!”

“I…” 

“Please!” said Peridot. “They’re hurting my girlfriend. Please just give us a room number, a direction, anything at all.”

“I can’t.” The Selenite’s expression hardened as she looked at the floor. “I can’t give you anything. Even if you’re sincere, you don’t know what you’re doing. If my Agate finds out you extorted information from me…”

Peridot balled her fists in frustration. For a minute, she thought she was getting through to the Selenite. The worst part was how she reminded Peridot so much of herself -- stranded on Earth, just wanting to be left alone to do her job, even if it meant other Gems would suffer. 

How could she get through to her? What would Steven do?

...she didn’t have a ukelele.

Zircon was totally lost in thought, her left eye twitching slightly. If she was at a loss, then it was up to Peridot.

Peridot reached in her gemstone and pulled out her phone. She couldn’t get any signal here, of course, but she could pull up all of her saved pictures and videos. She picked a video from a few months ago, when Little Homeworld was hosting a fair to welcome new arrivals from a few former colonies, as well as an influx of human tourists. Booths of all kinds lined the town square. Flowers and colorful decorations filled every square inch of remaining space. Peridot floated the video into Selenite’s line of sight.

“What is this?” she said. “It’s so _bright._ And there are all kinds of Gems -- wait, is that a fusion? Is that an off-color? Off-colors just walking around in broad daylight with other Gems? Is this real?”

“It’s home,” said Peridot.

“Yo, P-dot!” Amethyst’s voice emerged from the phone. “Whatcha doin’?”

“I’m making a record of this important historic occasion! As the organizer of this fair, would you like to say a few words?”

“Oh, geez, way to put me on the spot. Okay… I, uh, I hope everyone’s having a good time at the Little Homeworld Fair, and… Little Homeworld rules! Yeah!”

“Hey, Amethyst.” Lapis’ casual greeting hit Peridot like a destabilizer blast.

“Hey, Lapis. Don’t you have an art booth?”

“I’m taking a break.” Lapis sounded happy, at ease. It made Peridot’s gem ache. “Peri, if you want a better view for your video, I can fly you around some.”

“An excellent idea!” said video-Peridot with great enthusiasm. 

“This is her, isn't she? This Lapis Lazuli,” said the Selenite.

“Yes.”

“Everyone looks so happy. Is this what the outside world is like?”

“Only one part of it,” said Peridot. “The best part. But you can come live there too. You can be free!”

The Selenite watched, transfixed by the video. “Let me pull up my notes,” she said, finally.

“You’ll help?” said Peridot.

“I’ll try,” she said, projecting a screen from her glasses.

“Oh, that’s the same gemtech I have, isn’t it?” said Zircon.

“I suppose so, yes.”

“And it persists through memory wipes…” she muttered.

“Of course,” said the Selenite, matter-of-factly. “The storage format is completely different from your memories. Anyway, I’ve found her. The only Lapis Lazuli in the facility -- in room 17. That’s down the hall, to the left, and then on your left.”

“Wow, thanks!” said Peridot. At long last, she had a real bearing on Lapis’ location. She pulled her metal blades back into her hand, freeing the Selenite. “C’mon, let’s get going then!”

“Wh -- what about me? What are you going to do with me?” said Selenite.

“You’re coming too, right? You have to help me fix whatever you did to Lapis,” said Peridot, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“But you can’t possibly trust me. I’m working for the enemy. How do you know I won’t betray you?”

Peridot considered this for a brief moment. “You won’t,” she concluded.

Selenite looked at Zircon, bewildered. Zircon shrugged. “It’s a Crystal Gem thing. It took me a while, too.”

“C’mon, c’mon, are we going to go rescue Lapis or --” 

The door slid open. Peridot immediately got into a defensive stance, bringing her metal blades into a cloud around her. Zircon clutched the destabilizer. Selenite quivered.

Nothing happened.

“What…” said Peridot, after a long moment. “Did someone just accidentally hit the door or something?”

A tiny wad of black material came whirling around the corner and hit Peridot straight in the gemstone. Her blades clattered to the floor.

“What is that?!” Zircon shrieked.

The substance formed a small net around Peridot’s gemstone, much like the one on the Peridot they had found earlier. “I think it’s suppressing my gem abilities. I can’t get it off!”

The massive frame of the Iris Agate filled nearly the entire doorway. She stood there for a moment, surveying the situation. Peridot’s eyes went wide, frantically clawing at the netting on her gemstone, practically defenseless without her ferrokinesis. Zircon stood in front of Peridot protectively, wielding the destabilizer and shaking in terror. Selenite crumpled into a heap on the floor.

“When I saw you were in the base, I was expecting something more… formidable,” said the Agate.

“Stay back!” said Zircon, waving her destabilizer in a way that clearly showed she had no idea what she was doing.

Peridot’s eyes darted around the room, surveying her options, trying and failing not to panic. Without ferrokinesis, the blades on the floor were not especially useful. She couldn’t access any other potential weapons in her gemstone, with the netting blocking it. Selenite looked incapable of helping. Peridot was actually a bit impressed with how hard Zircon was trying, but she knew that the combat-deficient Gem was no match for the Agate. The various machinery in the room didn’t really offer any help. There didn’t seem to be any exit from the room apart from the door.

In the time it took Peridot to think, the Agate closed the distance. Zircon desperately lunged forward with the destabilizer. The Agate effortlessly sidestepped it, grabbed Zircon’s arm and squeezed, forcing Zircon to drop her weapon. Zircon yelped in pain.

“Zircs!” Peridot rushed forward, only to get backhanded by the Agate, the powerful blow sending her careening into the wall.

The Agate pulled Zircon up by her arm, transferring her grip to clutch the front of Zircon’s shirt. Zircon kicked and attempted to pull away, but had zero effect on the much stronger Agate. The enormous Gem picked up the destabilizer and stored it in the gemstone on her back. 

For a long moment, the Agate stared into Zircon’s face as the nervous Gem quivered in fear, before laughing loudly in her face. “I expected you to show up with a Crystal Gem army, 5XG. I was looking forward to fighting that Bismuth. Instead, you bring me this sad sack.” She slammed Zircon up against the wall as Peridot struggled to her feet.

“Let her go!” said Peridot, painfully aware of her limited options when it came to taking down a Gem many times her size without her metal powers.

“You _actually_ care,” said the Agate, surprised. “Dottie told me that, but I didn’t believe it. At least your interest in the perfect cut Lapis Lazuli shows some good sense. Your relationship is an abomination, but I understand what you’re getting out of it.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The Agate dragged a flailing Zircon with one hand as she closed in on Peridot. Peridot tried to dodge around her, but a rough hand grabbed her new hoodie and flung her into the metal chair in the center of the room. A thick restraint shot out and pinned her midsection to the chair. “Hey -- !” Peridot struggled uselessly as panic rapidly overtook her and she pictured herself, brainwashed and miserable, just like the Peridot they had found and poofed.

They really were going to do the same thing to her.

“Peridot!” Zircon feebly beat the Agate’s enormous arm with her fists as she was raised into the air again. “No!”

“The process works better if you’re under stress. I don’t know if you realized that, but it’s one of the reasons why we’ve been destroying your life for the past few weeks,” the Agate explained, not paying attention to Zircon’s struggles in the slightest. “I figure you’ve been through plenty, so I wasn’t planning on doing anything special at this point. But since I’ve got your friend here…”

“Leave her alone!” said Peridot. “You’ve already caught me. You don’t need to do anything to her!”

“Of course I don’t _need_ to. I really just want to.” With her free hand, she pulled a Rejuvenator from her gemstone. 

Zircon thrashed harder, the magenta light reflected in her terrified eyes. “Why are you doing this? This isn’t going to accomplish anything!”

“You humiliated me at that trial. Your punishment is accomplishment enough.” The Agate moved the Rejuvenator closer to a frantically squirming Zircon. “Don’t worry, I'm just going to Rejuvenate you. You won’t remember a thing. Dottie said you’re a real basketcase, so you’ll probably be better off. At least, until I decide it’s time to harvest you.”

Zircon cringed and squeezed her eyes shut. Peridot tried to come up with anything at all she could do. “Hey! You!” she called out to Selenite, who curled up into a ball. “Help us! Please!”

The Agate glared at Selenite. “I’ll have to deal with your insubordination later.” Selenite whimpered pathetically. The Agate turned back to Zircon. “Any last words for your friend here?”

“I’m sorry!” Zircon sobbed.

Peridot wondered if this was the future Garnet had seen, the one where she didn’t make it out. It was one thing when it was an abstract possibility she had been considering in the safety of her lair, surrounded by friends. It was quite another thing to be trapped and awaiting a horrible fate.

“Trust your friends,” Garnet had said. She _had._ Where had this gone wrong?

Unless it hadn’t gone wrong yet, and she was still going to make it out.

“Trust your friends,” Peridot said softly.

Zircon turned to look. There was a bright flash, and she was gone.

“What’s this?” The Agate pulled the tracking device off of Zircon’s gemstone. “Is this how you got out of your bubbles? I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s gone now.” She threw it to the floor and stepped on it, then did the same to the tracking device on Peridot.

The Crystal Gems were still on the way, Peridot reminded herself. The tracking devices were disabled, but they could still find the base using the one they left behind in the bubble room. Maybe that was how she survived -- she just had to stall long enough for reinforcements, and hope that Lapis would be okay, and that the Agate didn’t do anything worse to Zircon.

“Why are you doing this?” said Peridot. She had a feeling that the Agate would be more than happy to expound on her worldviews at length. “Even if you somehow brainwash me and Lapis enough so that we turn on our friends, it’s not going to convince the Diamonds of anything! Steven knows all about your plots now, and they’re going to take his word over yours. And if you try to do something to Steven, they’ll find out and destroy you. Your plan doesn’t make any sense!”

“Plan!” The Agate laughed. “You may think you’re above your caste, but you sure think like the lower Gem you are. Plans are for the benefit of Gems like you who are made to serve. You need to think that their superiors have some grand project they’re working on. Well, just because you’re a caste traitor anyway, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I don’t have a plan. I know I’m not going to convince the Diamonds of anything. I know I’m not going to bring Era 2 back.”

“Then... why? Why do all this?”

“Because I want you to suffer. You’ve ruined our society and destroyed my way of life, so I wanted to destroy something of yours. How do you think your false Diamond will feel when he learns about the damage I’ve done to his court? I hope I’m there to see the look on his face.” The Agate chuckled to herself. “You were really the perfect targets, too, do you know that? That unstable Lapis Lazuli is just begging for someone to set her off -- and really, an elite Gem who consorts with a Peridot deserves everything that’s coming to her. And you, you’re a symbol of everything that’s wrong with Era 3 -- a Peridot, helping lead a colony! I’m doing you a favor by removing you and teaching you your place before you hurt yourself.” She tossed Zircon’s gemstone into the air and caught it. “I might have been content with just you two, but look! You brought me one of the architects of the Era 3 reforms! Do you know how many elites hate this Zircon? And you left her completely defenseless in her office!”

“All this time, everything you’ve done, it was just petty revenge? And you don’t think the Diamonds are going to find out?”

“Of course they will. I knew that as soon as I started targeting Pink’s court. I don’t know what he did to them, but he’s got them wrapped around his disgusting organic finger. But you know what? I don’t really want to live in this backwards society anymore. The Diamonds outlawed shattering and harvesting as punishments -- you can thank your friend here for having a hand in that -- so they’re just going to throw me in prison. And if they’re going to strip away my natural rights as an elite Gem, I might as well be in prison.”

The Agate leaned in close to Peridot. “Of course, that Lapis Lazuli _is_ extremely powerful. Given the right incentive and a water source, she’s nearly as powerful as a Diamond. Your abilities have also far surpassed what I assumed a Peridot is capable of. Maybe it’ll be my lucky day. Maybe I can fry your minds enough to make you do my dirty work. And maybe you’ll actually be enough to take down a Diamond. I doubt it, but wouldn’t that be spectacular?”

“You’re insane,” said Peridot. “That will never happen.”

She shrugged. “Probably not, but forcing Pink to fight his own court would be delightful anyway.” She picked up one of the blades Peridot had dropped. “You know, when I brought you to trial, my colleague Zircon 4GR researched a great deal about Earth and organics. One of the most interesting things I learned is how fragile they are. They say that just one blade like this, applied to the right location, can permanently destroy an organic, even the one who claims to be a Diamond. Isn’t that fascinating?”

Peridot did her best not to picture it -- Steven lying in a puddle of his own blood, pale and cold like the dead humans she saw on crime shows. “That’s not true!” she said, weakly.

“Oh, 5XG. Haven’t you stalled enough? Your little squad isn’t coming to save you.”

Peridot tried and failed to not look rattled. “What are you talking about?”

“You didn’t think I’d know that the Crystal Gems are attacking my base? Do you assume I’m as stupid and careless as you? This is exactly why Peridots shouldn’t be in charge of anything.”

“All you’ve really done is let me know my friends are on the way.”

“I’ve already captured most of them, actually.”

She was bluffing. She had to be. Garnet had seen them winning in nearly every timeline.

Nearly.

“You’re lying!”

“Do you think I would be standing here having a pleasant little chat with you if I weren’t assured of my victory?”

“Yes. Yes, you would definitely do that. Didn’t you just _say_ that making me suffer is your entire plan?”

“I -- well.” The Agate frowned, but before she could continue, Zircon’s gemstone started to glow. “Oh! Look who’s decided to join us!”

When Zircon reformed, her blazer and the tie with a star on it were gone, replaced by the same outfit she had always worn. 

“Zircs!” Peridot yelled.

“Um.” The bewildered Gem was frantically trying to take it all in. She could see notes scrolling past on her monocle.

The Agate plastered on a fake smile. “I’m sorry, but you won’t be needing that,” she said, pulling the monocle off of Zircon’s face and tossing it aside.

“What? What’s going on? Where is this?”

“Zircs, don’t listen to anything she has to say! She’s crazy and she wiped your memory and she’s trying to torture and shatter us both. You have to remember!”

“I -- uh --” Zircon recoiled slightly from Peridot.

“She’s a convicted criminal and this is an experimental punishment you’ve been assigned to oversee,” said the Agate, smoothly. “The Diamonds are considering memory modification as a punishment for insane Gems like her who aren’t fit for harvesting. With the resource shortages of Era 2, it would be less of a waste than shattering. Unfortunately, we had a little accident with the machine and your memory got wiped. I’m sure your standard training will suffice, though.”

“You’re not going to believe that, are you?” said Peridot, incredulously. “You remember me! Earth! Little Homeworld! _Special Vampire Unit!_ _Flame Symbol!”_

Zircon blinked slowly, and for a second Peridot thought she saw a spark of recognition. Then she turned to the Agate. “I can certainly see why you consider her to be insane.”

“I thought you might understand,” said the Agate, giving Peridot a smug smile as she struggled in the restraints. 

“What I don’t understand is why you’ve taken my monocle.”

“This is a top secret invention. Note taking is strictly controlled. You’ll be reporting this directly to your superior with no records.”

“My superior?”

“A Morganite. We’ll provide you with assistance when you need to return to her.” The Agate finally acknowledged Selenite, still making herself as small as possible in the corner. “R77! Prepare the modified Rejuvenator!”

“I --” said the Selenite, almost too quiet to hear.

“You have it in your gemstone, correct?”

“I -- I --”

“What’s wrong with her?” asked Zircon.

“She’s in considerable trouble for insubordination and doesn’t seem to realize that she’s making it worse,” said the Agate, through gritted teeth. 

“Don’t listen to her! Help is on the way!” said Peridot.

The Agate roughly pulled Selenite to her feet, then slammed her against the wall, causing Zircon to sympathetically flinch. “Unless you’d like to join our experimental subject in her punishment, you’ll produce that Rejuvenator _right now!”_

“You’re going to do that anyway,” said Selenite.

“What?!”

“Do experiments on me. You were doing that anyway, weren’t you?”

The Agate pulled the destabilizer from her gemstone and pointed it at Selenite. “I think you need a time-out to clear your head. I’ll have to go fetch a modified Rejuvenator myself.”

Peridot was so focused on the situation with Selenite that she didn’t even notice Zircon moving in close. “What do I need to do to get you out of here?” she said, as softly as possible.

Peridot had to stifle an involuntary surprised noise. “Zircs? You remember?”

“There was a note in my monocle when I came to,” Zircon explained quietly. “It said, ‘The Peridot with the yellow star is the only Gem you can trust.’”

“Oh my stars, you’re a genius,” whispered Peridot.

The Agate whipped around and stormed over to the chair, shoving the destabilizer threateningly in Peridot’s face. “What are you telling her?!”

“You can’t use that on me,” said Peridot, as calmly as she could manage. “You’d just be delaying your experiment!”

“I can do what I please!” said the Agate.

Peridot could practically see the light bulb go on over Zircon’s head. Zircon gathered her strength and slammed her entire body into the Agate’s shoulder, causing her to pitch forward just enough. 

As Peridot destabilized, she really hoped her memory-wiped friend had a plan in mind other than grabbing her gemstone and making a run for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this story about two Gems having each other's backs.
> 
> Special thanks to [Glowbug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowbug/pseuds/Glowbug) for sitting through my impassioned rant about how this chapter would go.


	15. Lapis Doesn't Destroy Homeworld

“So did you have a plan apart from grabbing that Peridot and making a run for it?” asked the gray Selenite, flinching away from the sound of the Iris Agate slamming on the door.

“No, of course not!” said Zircon, leaning against the wall, clutching the Peridot’s gemstone as though her life depended on it -- because, as far as she knew, it did. “I have barely five minutes’ worth of memories, don’t you think a plan is a bit of a tall order?” She stared at the door she had just exited in haste. The Agate pounding on it from the other side neatly matched her pounding tension headache. “She can’t get out of there, can she?”

Just a moment ago, the Selenite had slipped out of the door behind Zircon, hitting a nearby control panel and trapping the Agate within before she could react. “It’s locked, but I’m not about to bet my gem on her staying put. We have to move.”

“Move where?” asked Zircon, glancing down the identical blue hallways.

“I don’t know, let’s start with moving away from the Agate who wants to kill us!”

“Don’t you work here? Can’t you get us out?”

“I only have a partial map of the facility stored in my notes!” She pulled it up on a gray screen. “It’s not like I have any memories either, you know.”

“Wait -- _you_ don’t have memories?”

“Can’t form long term memories. I _think_ I explained that to you already, but… you know.”

The Selenite continued to talk, but Zircon ceased to hear her as she slowly slid down the wall. Here she was, a memory-less and almost certainly defective Zircon, holding the poofed gem of a complete stranger that her past self apparently trusted, with a similarly memory-less Selenite as her companion, and a frankly terrifying Iris Agate out for her shards.

She was doomed. She was doomed in ways she couldn’t even begin to process. She was going to die here in this mysterious facility without ever even understanding how she got here.

Wait.

How _did_ she get here?

“C’mon!” The Selenite pulled at her arm. “We have to leave. If you want to sit there and wait for my Agate to catch you, that’s your very stupid business, but I’m getting out of here.”

“But why am I here?” Zircon demanded, the logical part of her mind spinning into gear despite her crippling terror.

“What, are you having an existential crisis? Can you have it somewhere else?”

Zircon got to her feet, but didn’t budge. “It doesn’t make any sense! I’m just a Zircon. Every bit of my gem is telling me I’m supposed to be in a nice safe office, taking cases on embezzled materials and improper fusions. Why am I here? I didn’t just go for a casual stroll and accidentally end up in some kind of experimental military torture complex!”

“Why does it matter?” said the exasperated Selenite. “You do realize that my Agate is going to shatter us, right? Or more likely, she’ll torture us, then shatter us. Or torture us, shatter us, stitch our shards back together into some kind of fused abomination, and torture us again.”

Sweat beaded on Zircon’s brow as her tension headache grew tighter. “We’re two non-combat Gems with no weapons, and your plan is, what? To walk briskly away from here?”

“It’s better than your plan, which is apparently _nothing!”_

Zircon ignored her, summoning her monocle now that the Agate was no longer there, hoping that her past self had left her a little something more to go on.

_The Peridot with the yellow star is the only Gem you can trust._

She looked down at the triangular gemstone, covered in strange black netting, mentally willing her to regenerate. It didn’t work.

_Lapis room 17_

That was the next line in her notes. What did _that_ mean?

_Tracker in bubble room - remember to tell others to go back to rescue Gems_

An investigation, maybe? This seemed like an awfully dangerous investigation for a lone Zircon and Peridot.

The next block of notes seemed to be piecing together a case about two Peridots sabotaging their own colony -- unrelated, probably. 

“Lapis room 17!” she settled on. “Do you know what that is?”

“Um,” said the Selenite, clearly having significant difficulty, “I _think_ you and the Peridot were looking for someone. That could be it.”

“Well, then that’s the plan! We have to find ‘Lapis room 17’!”

“Or here’s a thought, we could just _leave.”_

“No!” Zircon pushed at her hair with her hands, turning a smooth curve into jagged spikes pointing in every direction. “It’s a clue, it has to mean something!”

“You’re crazy,” said the Selenite.

Zircon’s vision flickered with static. “The evidence would certainly support that theory, yes. Are you going to help me find ‘Lapis room 17’ or not?”

The Selenite glanced at the door. The Agate was now quiet, which was far more troubling than the previous noises. “But -- fine. Let me see if it’s in my notes.”

Zircon jittered quietly, feeling as though her form would give out at any second, as the Selenite pulled up a large screen and began quickly scrolling through records.

“Here we go. Lapis Lazuli, an experimental subject in Room 17. It says… wow.”

“What does it say?”

“She’s basically a brainwashed living weapon experiment. She’s only been here less than a day, but based on my notes, freeing her would be suicide.”

“Where is she?”

“Did you just hear what I said? Freeing her is _suicide._ ”

“This _entire situation_ is suicide!” Zircon screamed at the Selenite, flinging up her arms. “If I’m going to die either way, I’m going to die doing my job! And as far as I know, my job has to do with ‘Lapis room 17’! So stop tumbling my rocks and help me find her!”

The Selenite blinked, opening and closing her mouth as though she couldn’t even begin to formulate a response. She let out a small huff, then turned on her heel and began walking down the hall. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she said. “I can’t remember what you and that Peridot said to me before, but it must have really been something, because I still feel like I should help you.”

Zircon looked at the Peridot she was holding, her knuckles aching with the effort of gripping it. Peridots were engineers, beholden to logic and reason. If only this one would regenerate, Zircon was sure she’d have some kind of sensible explanation for all of this.

* * *

The Selenite shut and securely locked the door to room 17 as Zircon did her best to swallow her fear and observe the scene from a clinical, investigative viewpoint.

Large, imposing computers, with screens displaying a bewildering assortment of what looked like diagnostic information, graphs drawing themselves and lines of gemglyph flying by at a rate far too fast to actually read. A workbench holding various bits of machinery, none of which she was even remotely equipped to comprehend.

And the part of the room that she really didn’t want to look at -- the blue gem strapped to a chair in the center, connected to a dizzying array of devices. There was a helmet covering her head and eyes. She was slumped over slightly, and there were about a dozen wires protruding out from her back. She thrashed weakly against the restraints holding her to the chair. “No,” she said softly. “I can’t -- I should go --”

Zircon’s vision blurred with static, which she assumed was just another symptom of the fact that she was obviously defective in some way. She had hoped that finding the Lapis in Room 17 would somehow jar a memory loose, or at least some internal procedures for how to do her job, but nothing was forthcoming. She was beginning to suspect this entire situation had nothing to do with her job at all.

“Well, here she is. Do whatever you need to do,” said the Selenite.

“What are you doing to her?” said Zircon, both out of curiosity and out of a hope for a clue of why this had been a note in her to-do list.

Information scrolled by on the screen the Selenite projected from her glasses. “She hasn’t been here that long, but it looks like they really had me do the works on her,” she said, dispassionately. “Amplifying negative memories, suppressing positive memories, a few industrial strength brainwashing routines applied directly to her Gem. My Agate was going all out here. I can see why -- a perfect cut Lapis Lazuli.”

The Lapis Lazuli had stopped moving and muttering, head perked up. “Who’s there?” Selenite and Zircon froze. She began fighting her restraints with more purpose. “Let me out! Let me out of here!”

“We… we need to release her,” said Zircon, voice shaking.

“Um, no?” said the Selenite. “I don’t think so. I’m the one who did this to her, and I don’t think she’s going to accept ‘coercion’ as an excuse. She’ll probably assume you’re working with me, too. So unless you want us both to be shattered, I think that’s a real bad idea.”

“Maybe…” Zircon’s resolve faltered as she racked her gem for an idea, any idea. “Maybe I’m supposed to talk to her?”

“Talk to her. You really think she’s in a state for a friendly conversation?” said the Selenite doubtfully.

“Let me out!” The Lapis Lazuli’s protestations were reaching a fever pitch. “I have to _go!_ I have to get out of here!”

“Well, I, uh…” Zircon’s knees shook. “As a Zircon, I have extensive training in interrogating all sorts of hardened criminals. Shatterers, cross-caste fusions, ah, people who fill out their WP-863 forms dishonestly…”

“You have _no idea_ what you’re doing, do you?” The Selenite moved towards the door. “I can’t believe I listened to you. I’m getting out of here. If you have even the smallest scrap of self-preservation, you should do the same.”

Zircon just stared at the Gem in the machine, a wave of failure washing over her. She could feel in the deep recesses of her gem that there was something she was supposed to be doing, but that knowledge had been wiped clean, leaving her with nothing but inadequacy -- a defective, memoryless Zircon in a situation so far over her head that she’d probably never see the inside of a nice, safe office again. 

As if it sensed her abject misery, the triangular gemstone she had been clutching began to glow.

* * *

Peridot regenerated as fast as she possibly could without accidentally screwing her head on backwards in the process. Efficiency was not easy when her entire consciousness was filled with nightmare thoughts -- Lapis being tortured, Zircon being hunted down and captured, herself thrown into a brainwashing chair, relegated to the same tragic state as the Peridot they had found.

Garnet had warned her there was a chance she could fail. It was hard to imagine how this wasn’t somehow a failure state. She wished she could rewind time, like when you screwed up in _Flame Symbol._ Say something different, do something better.

She had survived _so much._ She had so much to live for, so many friends, so much left to do.

It just couldn’t end here.

She felt her form taking shape and braced herself to wake up in some kind of torture device. The green glow subsided and she opened her eyes.

It was Lapis. She blinked twice, not believing that she had somehow been transported exactly to where she needed to go, but Lapis was still there.

“Lapis!” she called out, throwing herself on top of her girlfriend. “You’re here! I found you!” She was strapped to a chair, and covered in machines, but Peridot could fix that -- all that mattered for one moment was that _she had found her._

“Peri?” Lapis sounded confused, shrinking away from her. “No, no, you’re in my head, they’re showing me things --”

“Lapis, I’m really here!” said Peridot emphatically, pushing the helmet off of Lapis’ head.

Lapis’ eyes were dazed and unfocused. “Peri…? No!” She suddenly recoiled. “It can’t be you, I left you, I left you behind…”

“No, no, Lapis, you didn’t leave, you got kidnapped!”

“I left for the moon, I saw your face -- I left you to die, you can’t be here, Peri…”

“Lapis,” said Peridot, trying to push the concern out of her voice as much as possible. “You’re not on the moon. You came back, remember? I’m really here! I came to rescue you!”

“I’m trapped, Peri!” Lapis said, pulling against the restraints on her arms. “I’m trapped here! I can’t get out! Oh stars, you’re just something I’m imagining. Go away! Leave me alone!” Her eyes went glassy and reflective.

“We need to get you out of here!” Peridot took in her surroundings for the first time, noticing the other Gems in the room. “Zircs!” Zircon made a yelping noise and flinched. “You’re okay! Well, relatively. And you!” Peridot turned to the Selenite. “You have to help get her out of here.”

“No way,” said the Selenite, fearfully. “She’s going to kill us all.”

“She won’t kill me!” Peridot protested. “Or… you. Probably.”

The Selenite shook her head and backed up towards the door without going through, seemingly transfixed by what was happening but also preparing an escape route.

“Fine, I’ll do it myself,” said Peridot, getting to work on removing the various electrodes attached to Lapis’ gemstone without damaging it. Lapis’ gemstone was covered in the same black netting that was still stuck to Peridot.

“No, Peri, no,” said Lapis. “You have to go. You’re not safe here.”

“I’m not going without you. You’re not safe here either.”

“They did something to me, Peri, I can feel it. I don’t want you to see me like this. Just go.”

“I don’t care,” said Peridot, stubbornly. “I mean, I do care about what they did, but I’m not going to leave you behind, no matter what.”

“Peri, you have to,” Lapis’ pleading reached a fever pitch as Peridot searched for a way to unlock the restraints on her wrists and ankles. “I’m not worth it. I’m not worth anything. I have no purpose.”

Peridot fought back her despair in an attempt to stay focused. “No, Lapis, that’s what they were doing to you! You’re worth so much, to me, and to everyone. We need to get back home, and I’ll show you.”

“Home…” said Lapis darkly. “That’s how I felt before. The whole time I was in Little Homeworld I felt like I didn’t belong, that I had no reason to be there, like everyone would be better off without me. That’s what I remember.”

“They suppressed your positive memories!” Peridot couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. “That’s what 2PK told me. That’s why you remember it like that. It wasn’t all bad, I promise. I just need to undo --” She located the button to release Lapis and pressed it. Lapis slumped out of the chair and down to her knees. Peridot caught her and sat her back up. “C’mon, get up. The other Crystal Gems are on the way. We’re going to get out safely. I promise.” She really, really hoped that was a promise she could keep.

“Safe?” Lapis looked up, laughing bitterly. “Nowhere is _safe_. Homeworld wasn’t safe. The barn wasn’t safe. Little Homeworld wasn’t safe. _We’re not going to be safe!”_

Peridot felt shattered. She was right. Little Homeworld was supposed to be a place that was safe for all Gems, especially Lapis, and she had failed miserably. How could anyone ever trust her again?

But there wasn’t time for that now. “Lapis, I know how you feel, but we still need to get out of here. Any place is better than this. Please, just come with me?”

Lapis hesitated, then nodded. “Okay.”

Just as Peridot was helping Lapis to her feet, there was a loud pounding on the door, causing the Selenite to quail in terror and Zircon to dive under the workbench. “It’s her! It’s my Agate! She must have gotten out,” said the Selenite in a panic. “We wasted too much time! Oh stars, oh stars, oh stars…”

“Can she get in?” said Peridot, staring at the door and willing it to hold. As if on cue, a white hot beam began to cut away the metal door. “Lapis! Can you use your gem?”

“No,” she said, her eyes enormous and frantic. “I can’t summon my wings, I don’t know what’s wrong…”

Peridot quickly scanned the room. There were plenty of metal objects she could use if her gem weren’t offline, but nothing that particularly looked like a suitable weapon otherwise. Zircon, balled under the workbench, was likely more of a liability than an asset in this particular situation. And the Selenite…

“Hey! Do you know what this black stuff is? You have to help get our gems free!”

The Selenite glanced to a control panel. “I…”

She didn’t get to finish that thought, as the Agate kicked through the remains of the melting door and, without missing a beat, went straight to Peridot and picked her up off the ground in one huge, powerful hand. “You!” she bellowed into Peridot’s face.

“No!” Lapis jumped at the Agate, but without her water abilities, the best she could do was grab onto her arm and try to pull Peridot free. The Agate’s other arm threw Lapis downwards with enough force that Peridot could see her form momentarily flicker.

She didn’t have much time to worry about Lapis, though, because the Agate turned on her with white hot rage in her eyes. “You defective, useless piece of coprolite. You should never have been made!” She slammed Peridot into the wall so hard that her vision glitched and the room spun sickeningly. A Peridot was too resilient to poof from just an application of blunt force like that -- although that was hardly a mercy at the moment. “You! Will not! Stop me!” the Agate screamed, punctuating each word by smashing Peridot against the walls and floor. Lapis struggled to her feet, only to be kicked aside.

“Stop!” the Selenite cried out, all eyes turning to her. Her hand was hovering over a large purple button on one of the control panels. “Stop or I’ll free both their gems,” she said, voice shaky.

“You wouldn’t dare!” said the Agate. “If you free this Lapis, she’ll shatter both of us.”

“Don’t listen to her!” said Peridot, with all the strength she could muster.

“So what?” The Selenite straightened up slightly. “If I don’t free her, you’ll probably shatter me anyway. I’d rather take you down with me.”

“Oh, no, R77,” said the Agate, taking a step towards her. The Selenite flinched slightly but did not budge her hand. “Why would I shatter you? Do you think this is the first time you’ve rebelled against me? In just a couple hours, you’ll have forgotten all about this, and you’ll be serving me again. I don’t even need to punish you, but even if I do, it’s not like you’re going to remember it.”

“You don’t want to live like that, do you?” Peridot called desperately. “Hit the button!”

The Selenite’s eyes met Peridot’s, full of uncertainty. She bit her bottom lip.

The Agate took one step forward, then another.

Then, almost faster than Peridot could process…

\-- the Selenite’s hand pressed down on the button --

\-- Peridot felt a pressure release from her gemstone and saw something dark fall past her field of vision --

\-- the Agate closed the distance and kicked the Selenite backwards into a control panel --

\-- Peridot reached out with her ferrokinesis, and the sudden, sharp awareness of every nearby piece of metal was almost blinding --

\-- a half dozen jagged blades of ice punctured straight through the Agate’s form --

\-- and Peridot found herself falling to the floor as the Agate’s form dissipated.

For a long moment, there were no sounds except for a soft whimpering from underneath the workbench. 

Lapis released the ice blades, sending them clattering to the floor. She struggled to her feet, walked over, and picked up the enormous, shimmering Iris Agate. Peridot expected her to bubble it and send it on its way.

She didn’t.

“What’s going to happen to her?” she said, staring into the gemstone’s depths.

“What do you mean?” said Peridot, weakly, still feeling as though her form might dissipate at any moment.

“What’s going to happen to her now, Peridot?” Lapis’ voice held an edge of anger this time.

“Well, we’ll… send her back to the Temple, and then I guess put her on trial, and --”

“Prison. Or rehabilitation. After everything she put us through. Is that what you want?”

Peridot had a sinking feeling about where this was heading. “It’s not about what I want, it’s about Era 3 --”

“She’ll never suffer like she made us suffer, not ever! She tried to brainwash both of us and she’ll be bubbled at worst. Is that what you want?” Lapis yelled. A startled yelp from under the workbench drew her attention. “And you! You worked so hard on those reforms, Zircon. Is this what you want? She nearly killed you!”

“She got Rejuvenated,” said Peridot. “She doesn’t remember.”

Lapis laughed with no mirth. “Oh, she got Rejuvenated too? Why am I not surprised?” She rounded on Peridot, an unfamiliar and frightening look in her eyes. “Peri, don’t you understand what I’m talking about? After everything she did to everyone you care about, you have to understand!”

“Understand what?” Peridot asked, against her better judgement.

“The Gems that put me in a mirror? They were never brought to justice. They’re still walking around on Homeworld.”

“Because we couldn’t just punish everyone who --”

“And Jasper is living less than a mile from Little Homeworld. _Jasper_. Why does she get to be happy and safe when we don’t?”

Peridot’s voice faltered. “I don’t really think Jasper is happy --”

“Peri, we’re _never_ going to be safe as long as Gems like this are around.”

“Lapis, please!” Peridot pleaded. “This isn’t like you! They’ve done something to you to make you feel --”

“What part of what I said is wrong, Peridot?!” Lapis had moved in close to Peridot now, her hand shaking as she gripped the prismatic gemstone. 

“The part where you’re not a shatterer!” said Peridot. “You’re not like them! You’re not a shatterer, or a torturer, or a kidnapper. You’re better than that. I know you are! What would Steven think if he heard you say that? Please, just bubble the Agate and let’s go home.”

“Am I better than that?” Lapis said bitterly. “I trapped Jasper in a nightmare fusion under the ocean. What part of that is _better?_ ” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I’m worthless, Peri, I don’t have any purpose.”

“You’re not worthless! That’s just what those awful brainwashing machines were doing to you, making you feel that way!”

“Maybe this is my purpose,” Lapis said, seemingly ignoring Peridot. “Steven could never do this. He sees the good in every Gem. He gives everyone a second chance. He gave me probably four or five chances. He can’t do this, but _I can._ Someone needs to protect you, Peridot.” She put the Iris Agate on a workbench and used her water wing to pick up a large hammer. “I can do this. I can keep you safe.”

Peridot could see the light glinting off the gem and the hammer and into Lapis’ empty, reflective eyes. She wasn’t sure if the hammer Lapis was holding could actually crack the formidable Agate, but she wasn’t about to find out. She used her powers to yank the hammer away, then dove for the gemstone, knocking it off the table. Before Lapis could react, she scrambled after it as it skittered across the floor, bubbling it and tapping it as fast as she could manage.

Lapis stared at the spot where the gemstone was. “Peri, why…?”

“I had to stop you, Lapis! You’re not a shatterer. You’re not!”

“You don’t understand! I thought you’d understand!” She turned on Peridot, a mix of despair, anger, and fear on her face. “Why won’t you just let me _do this for you?”_

“Lapis…”

“You can’t stop me, you know,” she said, turning towards the door. “It’s going to be better this way. Don’t follow me.” She stepped through the hole in the door, spreading her wings.

Peridot jumped to her feet, her form aching with the injuries she had sustained at the hands of the Iris Agate. “I have to follow her.” She peered under the table where Zircon was hiding. “Zircs, quick, get up, we have to follow her!”

“You want to follow _her?_ The Gem who just left on a revenge mission to shatter all her enemies? Are you crazy?!”

“What, would you rather stay here in the evil brainwashing lab?”

“Is there a third option?”

“No!” She pulled Zircon out from under the bench, thankful that she only put up a token resistance, and dragged her out of the door, the Selenite following behind. She ran down the hall, spotting a bit of blue disappearing around a corner. Down the next hallway, there was a slab of metal on the floor -- it looked as though the Agate had cut through another door. They quickly reached the door that Peridot had originally hacked her way through, with Lapis nowhere in sight.

“What now?” the Selenite asked.

“Shh! I hear something!” said Peridot. She opened the door and went down the hall, voices growing louder.

“Peridot must have left that tracker there for a reason,” said a familiar voice. Pearl.

“Well, yeah, but how are we gonna find her?” Amethyst.

“This facility is way bigger than I expected,” said Bismuth. “Maybe we need to split up?”

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea…” said Connie.

Peridot raced down the hall as fast as she could manage while towing a reluctant Zircon by the wrist. She rounded the corner, and there they were, the Crystal Gems, looking none the worse for wear. If she hadn’t already worn out her tear vessels that day, she would have cried from sheer relief. “Guys!” she called out.

Steven turned to look. “Peri! Zircs!” He ran towards her, scooping her up into a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried!”

“Steven! You have no idea how glad I am to see you!” said Peridot, allowing herself the briefest moment of happiness. 

Steven put Peridot down and went to hug Zircon, who flinched away and curled into a tiny ball. “Aaah! Conversations with organics are _strictly forbidden!”_

“Uh…”

“She got Rejuvenated,” Peridot explained. “Look, there’s no time, we have to go after Lapis!”

“Seven?” A handcuffed Selenite was draped over Garnet’s shoulder like a sack of organic root vegetables. “Seven, is that really you?”

The Selenite who had been following Peridot was staring. “You… you actually exist.”

“Oh stars, I thought when they dragged you away I’d never see you again. I’m sure you don’t remember me, though, right?” 

“I… do, actually. I do remember you.” 

The Selenite on Garnet’s shoulder smiled, tears forming in her eyes. “I’m so glad to see you again. You have _no idea._ ”

Meanwhile, Connie had knelt down to where Zircon had formed into a ball. “They erased your memories, huh?”

“I can’t talk to you! I don’t want to be harvested.” said Zircon, recoiling.

Connie, determined, stuck out her hand. “I’m Connie Maheswaran. You taught me Gemglyph. It’s not actually illegal to talk to me in Era 3. It’s nice to meet you. Again.”

Zircon blinked in surprise, looked at Connie’s hand, then back up to Connie’s face. She reached out her hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you…”

Peridot, ignoring all this, caught Garnet’s eye.

Garnet smiled and gave her a thumbs up.

That was all Peridot needed. “Did Lapis fly by here?” Peridot asked Steven.

“I didn’t see her,” said Steven.

“She might still be in the facility, then. They got to her, Steven, we have to stop her!”

Steven looked as though he were about to ask questions, but then thought better of it. “If she’s flying, how can we catch up to her? She’s faster than any of us.”

“Fast…?” said Peridot. She grinned at Steven. “We have to be fast!”

“Oh!” said Steven, with sudden understanding. “I get it!” He held out his hand to Peridot.

Peridot grabbed his hand and they spun together as fast as possible. The united purpose of finding Lapis made it relatively easy for them to will Rutilated Quartz into existence.

The first thing Tilly heard was “You two can _fuse?!”_ Pearl looked as though her mind was about to shatter.

“Yes, I exist again!” Tilly punched the sky in triumph.

“Whoa, you’re even shortier than the Shorty Squad,” said Amethyst, clapping them on the back with enough force to bowl them over.

“Okay, everyone listen up!” said Tilly, at the top of their tiny lungs. “Lapis got brainwashed and she’s probably flying off to get revenge on Jasper or the Diamonds or someone, I have to go after her right now, Zircs has no memories so make sure she doesn’t die, this Selenite is maybe not evil and it’s not her fault so maybe make sure she doesn’t die either, and everyone else better stay safe, okay?”

She was met with bewildered faces. “Um, that was a _little_ fast…” said Connie.

Tilly groaned. They’d never catch up to Lapis at this rate. “Sorry, you can figure it out, gotta go!” They glanced up and down the hallway. There was no real way to know where Lapis had gone in the labyrinthine facility, and Tilly had neither the time nor the patience to search. Chances were, Lapis would either beeline or blast her way out. They summoned their drill from the gem on their stomach and, using a running start that let them jump multiple times their height, drilled through the ceiling and onto the roof. 

The bright sunlight momentarily blinded the fusion, causing them to squint behind their visor. The base was surrounded by a desert landscape with no trace of organic life, glittering sands giving way to rusty red rock walls and formations. As soon as Tilly spotted a blue figure against the horizon, they launched themselves towards it at top speed.

 _What happened to Lapis?_ Steven asked Peridot internally.

Peridot remembered the fusion’s ability to share memories, and pushed her recollection of the scene in Room 17 at Steven -- Lapis’ condition, the fight with the Agate, Lapis’ resolve to protect them, even if it meant shattering their enemies. Steven immediately understood the problem, and his feelings on the situation tracked closely with her own, strengthening the fusion.

 _What are we going to do when we get to her?_ Steven wondered.

 _I think we need to restore her positive memories somehow. Without them, I’ll never be able to convince her she can be happy without doing this,_ Peridot thought.

It was one thing to restore a Rejuvenated Gem when she was receptive and not actively fighting you -- or, in Peridot’s case, when she was simply too outnumbered to fight. Lapis, on the other hand, had a goal she was determined to achieve, and, if she were brought back to Earth, could potentially take down the entirety of the Crystal Gems with her ability to control the ocean. Besides, it wasn’t a usual Rejuvenation. She still had her memories, they were just out of balance.

How could she un-suppress Lapis’ positive memories?

She had an idea. An idea with only the slimmest chance of working, but that rarely stopped her anyway.

 _Fusions can share memories!_ Peridot thought excitedly at Steven.

 _Well, yeah, we were just doing that…_ Steven projected his confusion.

_I need to un-suppress Lapis’ positive memories, right? If we fused, I could project them at her!_

_Yeah, you could do that,_ Steven thought, _but that means you’d have to fuse with Lapis. I’m not sure Lapis ever wants to fuse again._

Tilly gazed up in the sky to where Lapis was silhouetted against the sun. They were rapidly catching up to her. 

Peridot tried her best to conceal her doubt from Steven. _I’m not sure I can convince her, but I want to try._

 _I believe in you,_ Steven thought back. 

With a sudden burst of speed, Tilly was directly underneath Lapis. “Hey! Lapis! Lapis! Down here!” They thought they saw her glance down briefly, before turning slightly and flying through a canyon.

Tilly skidded in the sand as they attempted to change direction. They weren’t getting anywhere like this -- they could catch up to Lapis, but there was nothing stopping her from simply ignoring them. The canyon walls rose around them, jagged and stark.

They could work with that.

Tilly wound up an extra burst of speed and ran up one of the walls. Running along the edge, they passed Lapis, hoping that she wouldn’t change course again, and then launched themselves off at top speed. 

Lapis yelled in surprise as she collided with a fast-moving bullet of a fusion in midair, knocking them both to the canyon floor in a tangle of limbs.

“Who are you?” said Lapis, pushing herself off of Tilly. “Why won’t you just leave me alo…” She trailed off, shocked, as Tilly unfused into Peridot and Steven. “Peridot? Steven? Your fusion…”

“I needed a way to catch up with you,” said Peridot.

“You fused without me,” said Lapis, a swirl of conflicting emotions on her face. “I remember…”

“That’s what I need to talk to you about!” Peridot hesitated. “I think we need to fuse.”

Lapis looked utterly stunned. “What?! Now? Why?”

“To give you back your positive memories!” Peridot searched for the right thing to say, fearing that one mistake would send Lapis flying again, feeling a bit as though she were finding the right wire to defuse a bomb. “I know you’re hurting a lot. And I know it feels like you’ve never been happy. But that’s not true! I know it’s not true. And I want you to know that, too.”

Lapis shook her head, but didn’t move to leave. “I know what I know, Peri. I know all the times I hurt you and others too. I know all the times I was trapped and alone. Does it really matter if I had some good times, too?”

“Yes! Yes, it does!” said Peridot. “The good times were just as real and important as the bad times. Without you, and Steven, and the others, I’d just be a worthless Peridot.”

“You’re not worthless,” said Lapis.

“You’re not either! That’s what I keep trying to tell you. And I want to show you, too.”

Lapis looked for a moment as though she might relent, before her gaze darkened. “It doesn’t matter. We can’t fuse, not ever. Malachite was a nightmare, but at least Jasper deserved it. I could never do that to you.”

“You won’t. I trust you.”

“How can you trust me after everything that’s happened?”

“Because I love you.”

“I…” The conflict playing across Lapis’ face grew in intensity. “You’re just trying to stop me from doing what needs to be done!” said Lapis, spitting out the words as though she were also trying to reject the emotions she was feeling.

“I’m not!”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!” Peridot took a step towards Lapis. “I know how you feel.”

“You can’t --”

“Yes, I can!” Tears clouded Peridot’s vision. “Do you think I’m just okay with everything that happened? That I was just fine with you being kidnapped and brainwashed? Like it was no big deal when I nearly got caught in a solar core explosion or when I thought I was watching my friend shatter? Do you think it doesn’t bother me that there are Gems out there who want us to die just because they can’t handle Era 3?”

“Peri…”

“Look, Lapis, just let me try this. If it doesn’t help… I won’t stop you. I promise. I’ll even help if you need me to.”

“Peri!” Steven was alarmed.

Lapis looked down, rubbing at her arm in uncertainty. “If we fuse, I’m only going to hurt you.”

“If you fly away from me now, you’re going to hurt me!” Peridot mustered up every ounce of determination she could. “You asked me why I wouldn’t let you do this for me. Well, why won’t you let me do _this_ for _you_?”

A hot breeze blew Lapis’ hair into her face as she stared Peridot down, her expression unreadable. After an unbearably long moment, she extended her hand. “Fine. If you want to see what it’s like so bad, I’ll show you.”

“Are you going to be okay?” Steven said, behind her. 

She reached for Lapis’ hand. “I trust you,” she said, looking up.

Lapis looked slightly rattled and withdrew her hand slightly, but not before Peridot took it. She used Lapis’ hand to twirl herself around, tripping slightly, in a facsimile of dance. She could hear Lapis make a small, anxious noise, but she reciprocated the dance.

Peridot was terrible at dancing, but Steven had told her that matching emotions was more important than matching dance steps. She wasn’t always the best at interpreting other’s feelings, but it didn’t exactly take a Steven to guess at what Lapis might be feeling right now. Peridot closed her eyes and channeled all the anxiety and uncertainty and anger and despair she had felt in the lab.

Her gemstone felt warm.

This was it. Her last chance to back out and remain herself. She trusted Lapis, she did, but still, a small part of her truly did fear what would happen if they ended up trapped in a fusion of negative emotions, feeding on each other indefinitely.

Lapis shared the exact same fear. Their emotions synced. The fusion knit. The crushing doubt, the white hot rage, and the panicked urge to flee smashed into Peridot like a tidal wave, and she was swept away on it.

 _Not like this!_ the terrified remainder of Peridot shouted into the void. She was supposed to be restoring Lapis’ positive memories. She clung to anything she could think of -- a hug from Steven, the smell of the greenhouse, the warm stone benches in Bismuth’s forge. Each one slipped from her as soon as she could summon it.

She just wanted to be useful. That’s all she had wanted. She wanted to help, and to be a good partner and a good friend, and to help build a safe home for Lapis, and to make everything better.

She was being sealed into a mirror, she was dragging Jasper under the ocean, she was somehow interrogating herself. She could feel the dizzying anticipation of the moments when life is about to irrevocably change for the worse. She could feel the fusion gaining size and arms, so many arms, was it supposed to have that many arms?

She was so powerful. The rush was intoxicating. She wasn’t useless or deficient any more. All water and metal was at her command. She’d never be trapped or violated or isolated again. It was terrifying and wonderful in equal measure, and Peridot both feared and loved Lapis more than she could say.

Suddenly, she felt the fusion falter as Lapis recoiled.

 _Why?_ Lapis demanded. _How can you possibly love me when I’m like this?_

Lapis’ hesitation brought Peridot back to her senses, and she remembered what she was here for. _Because I love you even when you’re hurting._

She projected as many positive memories as she could at Lapis. Flying over the ocean, salt spray in their faces. Curled up on the couch with the dim glow of a _Camp Pining Hearts_ episode. Flicking paint on each other as they made decorations for the Little Homeworld Festival. 

_Do you remember?_ asked Peridot.

 _I…_ Lapis hesitated. _I don’t want to._

Peridot couldn’t understand. _Why not?!_

_Because it doesn’t matter, Peri. Just because there were some good times doesn’t change the parts of my life that were a nightmare. Love, happiness, friendship -- they’re just there to make it hurt more when they get taken away._

Peridot could feel her pain, the violations she had suffered, and she instinctively felt like pulling away -- but she knew that if she did, she might lose Lapis forever. 

Maybe she was useless, maybe she was just some Peridot with nothing special about her, but she was here, and she had to try.

She braced herself against the pain and held Lapis as close as she could within their amorphous fusion, trying to radiate as much comfort and acceptance as she could in the raging storm of emotions.

 _I understand how you feel, more than you know,_ thought Peridot. _I’m scared of losing everything too. I’m scared of the responsibility, and of not being good enough._

Lapis didn’t respond, but Peridot could feel her draw closer.

She pulled up a memory to show to Lapis. It was a memory of them flying together, just a few days ago. Lapis had said: "When I was trapped, I spent a lot of time thinking about how I didn’t appreciate the time I had enough. I don’t want to make that same mistake again.”

 _I thought things could be different then,_ Lapis thought. _I thought maybe I was finally safe. I was wrong._

 _Maybe we’re not ever going to be safe,_ Peridot thought, _but it’s all we have. Shouldn’t we at least try to enjoy it? Shouldn’t we fight for our home?_

_That’s what I’m trying to do, Peri! I’m going to fight for our home!_

_That’s not what I mean! There are other ways than fighting other Gems._

Peridot thought back to the beginning of construction on Little Homeworld. Telling Steven all about how she wanted to make a home for Lapis. Working on the plans with Bismuth. Designing a greenhouse especially for her and Lapis to grow organics together. Retrieving what she could of their hammock and morp supplies from the destroyed barn, and restoring them to their appropriate places in the freshly built secret lair. Fussing with every detail to make sure Lapis would feel safe there.

_I was fighting for our home, too. I wanted to make a place for you. It won’t be the same if you’re not there with me._

Lapis’ anger and fear was dissipating into sadness. _I can’t go home, Peri. Not like this. Not after what they’ve done._

_Lapis… you can always come home, no matter what. I promise._

Peridot could feel the swirl of conflicting emotions from Lapis, so she dared another memory, one that she was hoping Lapis wouldn’t reject: the way she felt when Lapis had confessed her love underneath the autumn trees in the peaceful clearing, just before everything had crumbled into dust. She did her best to fill the memory with as much love and happiness as she could as she projected it to Lapis.

She received a memory in return. It was faint and blurred, but it was still there: Peridot regaining her memories in a flash of green light, and being scooped into Lapis’ arms.

Their memories synced, and this time Peridot allowed herself to be swept away in the fusion.

The new fusion opened her eyes and found herself looking at the rusty red canyon wall. A vast, blank canvas for her to use, filled with possibility, just like she was. She could feel her components buzzing with emotional energy just begging to be channeled into a masterpiece, or at _least_ something reasonably marketable. 

“Whoa!” said a soft voice behind her. Steven was staring in awe and joy. “So cool.”

“Steven!” Spectrolite walked around him, assessing. “Honestly, I’m not entirely sure about the color combo you have going on here, but the pink jacket really _pops._ ”

Steven laughed nervously. “Oh, um, thanks?”

She extended her hand to her components’ old friend. Her form swirled with ever-changing rainbow colors, a sharp contrast to her loose-fitting black sweater and pants. “Spectrolite. Nice to meet you.”

Steven shook her hand enthusiastically. “Nice to meet you, Spectrolite!” he said, grinning. “But are you, uh… doing okay?”

Spectrolite drew back her hand, taking time to fully ponder Steven’s question. “Well, Steven, I have two enormous tangles of complex, sometimes conflicting emotions contained within my being, threatening to tear my existence apart at any moment, despite the mutual love and respect that allowed me to come into being in the first place.”

“That… doesn’t seem great.”

Spectrolite scoffed. “Of course it’s great! Most creatives have to make due with just _one_ source of neuroses to power their meep morp. Now if you wouldn’t mind standing back, these canyon walls are the ideal canvas for my debut slash thesis statement.” From the prismatic gemstone on her back, she snapped open a set of wings made from swirling paint.

“You’re going to make art?” Steven said, with stars in his eyes.

“ _Morp,_ Steven, but the distinction need not concern you.” She stretched her four arms and cracked her neck, sizing up the natural ridges of the rock wall and summoning paint to her hands. She owed it to her components to make sure that her first work was nothing less than spectacular.

* * *

By the time the sand ship arrived, carrying a full complement of Crystal Gems, Spectrolite had nearly completed the intricate pattern that covered a solid ten-foot stretch of the canyon. Having complete mental control over paint was really much faster than trying to wield a clumsy instrument like a paintbrush.

“What in the stars…!” exclaimed Bismuth as the sand ship came to a screeching halt.

“Not so loud!” said Steven, who had been watching intently the entire time. “She’s making _morp.”_

Garnet’s smile grew so large that it threatened to engulf her face. “She really did it. I knew she could.”

Spectrolite applied one last dollop of sky blue paint to her first masterpiece and stood back. “There,” she said. Various shades of blues and greens intertwined, forming undulating spirals and curves in some parts of the morp, and sharply geometric patterns in others, reflecting the two minds that had come together to create the work.

Connie ran to her side. “It’s incredible!”

“We’re gonna have to get you to decorate Little Homeworld,” said Bismuth. “My forge could use a fresh coat of paint.”

“I just love how detailed and neat it is,” said Pearl.

Spectrolite said nothing, patiently waiting for the Crystal Gems to gather around her.

Then, she summoned her wings and splashed her work with a chaotic jumble of every color she had. Connie gasped. 

“What was _that_ for?” asked Pearl, shocked.

“It represents my internal conflict. It was performance morp all along.” She turned to Steven and smiled. “Performance morp isn’t really bad, it’s just misunderstood.” She turned back to the assembled Crystal Gems. “Thank you all for attending my first exhibition. Now if you’ll excuse me, this fusion is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain.”

Spectrolite poofed into Lapis and Peridot, who sat there on the sand, stunned.

Lapis looked at Peridot, then at the painted canyon, then at the rest of the Crystal Gems, then back at Peridot. 

Peridot looked back. “That was…”

Lapis threw her head back and laughed. “That was amazing! Look what we made!”

The dusty canyon was now filled with every color imaginable, sparkling in the now-setting sun. Peridot’s mind was a jumble of too many things: paints and labs and fusions and destabilizers and bubbles and leaves and phones and --

It had been a very, very long day.

Peridot got up, brushed herself off, and walked over to Lapis, holding out her hand. “Can we go home now?”

Lapis allowed herself to be pulled off of the sand. “Yeah. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for being patient with me during my anxiety-fueled hiatus. The next chapters should not take as long now that I've finally gotten past the massive writer's block of Peri and Lapis Finally Fuse.
> 
> Next time on Professionals: One moment prooooobably is not enough to undo all of the trauma these Gems endured over the past week.
> 
> Special thanks to [Glowbug](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowbug/pseuds/Glowbug) for her incredible patience with my endless ranting about Gems and their personal problems.


End file.
